章 520: Chaos (1) : Blank Space
Quick WARNING! The following chapter may contain the deepest shit you're going to read in your life… also an incredible amount of nonsense. It is like… Deep Nonsense, if you catch my drift. My mental state and the chapter were affecting each other and I rewrote it almost four to five times with. It almost made me go crazy like yesterday but I've finished off the monster. Just as I said, my mental state was not right while I was writing. Just read safely. Next chapter will make more sense, I promise.
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*One Year Ago after the Battle with Mannimarco*
(Two)
Chaos as an element is the Origin of all elements. Only through the comprehension of Time did the Chaos dissolve into the first forms of Order. It is understandable that Chaos and Order always existed within each other and it's also acceptable that they can be turned into one another as well.
The story of Anui-El (the Spirit of Anu) creating Auri-El (the Spirit of Time) is the official myth of creation is all about turning the Chaos into Order which by its part led to the Existence of the Aurbis (the Universe).
Now let's go back way before that. Way before Anui-El or Sithis, Auri-El or Lorkhan, right exactly at the simplest of all truths. Anu and Padomay, the Is and Is-Not.
It was said that this world is a Dream that began by believing in one's self as [Value equals True] thus having a Self and truly existing. Padomay and Anu were incapable of comprehending such facts on their own as they are just some colossal amounts of cosmic energies to our understanding. They needed to create Sithis and Anui-El later on but… it seems that I have strayed from my point again. Let's go back in time a little more to when even Anu and Padomay were not existing.
Was it just a Complete Darkness? Eternal and Passive? Or maybe it is just some "Blank White Space" like the one I am speaking to you from right now?
You see… I believe that Anu and Padomay had an origin and that origin lies beyond the shackles of everything we know.
The One Single Truth.
The Crux of Creation enshrouded in Mystery and Enigma.
You see… if my time here has taught me anything, it would be that everything must go back to an Origin. Anu came from the Breath of Existence, Padomay came from the Waters of Creation.
How did I know that?
Silly! I don't know that, I know nothing. I am just a Madman after all. Whatever I say is pointless but let me make a point here. I am crazy… well, you already know that. The answer to everything lies within letting go of the illusion that you know anything.
Socrates once said "True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing."
So hold my hands and be crazy with me. No homo, I swear.
Oh! These are some soft hands you have. You moisturize? What! Antiseptics? Must be pretty though these days, huh? Okay, let's not hold hands then. Then be crazy with me from a safe distance. I know everyone is on edge these days about keeping healthy social distance. Heh… Mortals!
So the first step to becoming crazy is… yes, you guessed right. No step at all. There are no guidelines or rules in the zone we're about to step into. Actually, it will get a bit hardcore from now on so in advance… just take a deep breath and sway with the music.
Socrates said "The greatest blessing granted to mankind comes by a way of madness, which is a divine gift."
Oh! How I love this guy!
He also said "I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think."
This time, I won't tell you something you should just accept from me. So please, think without limitations.
Let's talk about the mix of Chaos and Order we call "Existence" and raise a few questions.
Can it be that "Existence" in totality was developed from "Nothing"?
Can it be that it wasn't something that always existed or developed by an accidental coincidence?
Is everything in existence "Eternal Old" or did it have a "Beginning"?
Confusing, right?
I'm not talking about the Elven Myth of Creation or the Big Bang Theory or any of that. As I said before, we are going way back in time.
There has to be a limit, right? A limit to how much we can go back in time. A limit to how much Existence Existed?
Doesn't this mean that at some point, this whole thing of endless numbers of stars and galaxies was "Created"? Chaos and Order, Existence and Nonexistence, Everything and Nothing. Was it all "Made" in perfect balance and design or did it just come with a bang?
Crazy question, right? If that's right then we are going on the right track.
Still, some people would come and say "Come on! Do you even have a proof for this nonsense you just said?"
I would say Yes, Yes indeed. A Madman doesn't simply need any proof but I'll play your game "Sane People".
You are the proof.
You!
Look at you!
You are perfectly and beautifully made and planned. I know your parents take most of the credit for how good-looking you are and when you were born yet all of that applies to everyone. But you must remember, we are looking at the MUCH bigger picture, remember?
Let's just let go of the Universe and Existence and all these complicated thoughts. Let's be normal mad people and get to our mortal level. The Human.
Every Human is evidence of the Perfect Blueprint. It starts with a mere Sperm that evolves into a leeching Clot of congealed blood, then to a chew-like lump called the Foetus then into Bones and Flesh and BAM!!! The super sexy you.
This transformation between Imperfection to Perfection in a very systematic and flawless way that even with the best stars aligned, it can't be accidentally sequenced.
And then, you start magically moving around. From the first baby steps to the widest strides of youth to the weakness of old age, perfection becomes imperfection and no matter what, there is nothing that you can do to reverse the process. Even delaying it requires practice and cultivation.
The more we know, the clearer things get. We look everywhere and see everything just moving perfectly, the world is not glitching or overloaded with details or sends out bug messages… the Elder Scrolls aside, okay? Apart from that, day comes out and night comes after and not a single thing out of order.
Either way, the concept of every Act has an Actor is a great concept that is proven by observation. We think of what we observed and come up with ideas like seeing and believing. If you don't want to see or believe and rather stick to whatever Order you were Told then please, leave a madman like me to his madness and carry on.
For the rest of you who stayed, if there is any, let's take one more dive together. The last one I swear.
Existence as a package is too complex. It is known that the human brain is also complex but the situation we are in here is a little too overwhelming, okay? I'll be honest, it's a mess… big time.
To revert the Existence to its most primal element, aka Chaos, this needs an act of an equal amount of complexity. Let's agree that no matter how advanced the technology went, it is still a little bit too far from that level of complexity… I mean, the neighboring planets are as far as technology has reached anyway.
But at the end of the day, Existence has all that it needs for a new tomorrow. It is not as if there is some primal apocalyptic entity that is about to jump and devour us all to Oblivion. Okay okay, I'll take that one back. But with every one of those disasters comes a solution whether that is a Hero or a Cure… or a Hero with a Cure, love that last one.
To sum all this madness up, everything exists on an accurate plan. Take the Gravitational Constant for example. It is an empirical physical constant involved in the calculation of gravitational effects in Newton's law of universal gravitation and in Einstein's general theory of relativity. Its numerical value is 6.674×10^-11 m^3 kg^-1 s^-2.
Any slight change in that value will flip the world upside down. That number is responsible for the centrifugal force for the continuation of the planet in its orbit and how far away from or close to the sun so you can imagine.
It is up to you whether you agree or disagree with a Madman like me but is all that a coincidence? I'll be an open-minded person and leave you to your opinion.
Then again, this raises a very pivotal question. What is Madness? What is Crazy?
Whoops! Those are two questions… or are they?
What gives you the sole realization of comprehending numbers. One plus One equals Two? Why is that a thing? In the place where I am in at the moment, All can equal Zero which by its part may or may not equal Anything.
Possibilities become endless where the Mind has enough power to Perceive and Analyze.
What is related to Madness in any of this?
Nothing… and Everything.
When you are Mad, anything is possible. You don't only think outside the box, you Eliminate the Box. You have no limits.
You become from Sane to Insane and from Insane to Sane once again. In my case, repeating the process a few times made me understand that both Sanity and Insanity are two sides of the same coin.
It made me open my eyes and just smile as I saw light. Don't worry, that's not the one at the end of the tunnel. That's actually the light of hope becoming a literal… light… thing.
It lit the world around me and kept me in a state I have never experienced before. I was there standing in that same Endless White Space that was in my mind.
What's on my mind became a reality which is not a thing that happens any day. The experience is incredible and I feel limitless yet the only limit I have is time.
I know you may be wondering "What in the absolute fuck was that all about?" and to answer all that… I just don't understand it well myself. I am the guy who was trapped in Chaos but I am also the guy who got himself out to this weird Blank Space.
You know when the things happening inside your head happen in front of your eyes, you are in a full state of control and wonder. I can just create endless clones of myself and hold conversations together but everything is pointless at the moment.
I must figure out a way before I become out of time and lose myself.
***
(One)
Was the Chaos enough to trap Jon Dare?
No, it wasn't.
The place around him had the same white image he had in his mind. This phenomenon only happens with what is known as the Godhead.
The thoughts of his head control everything. If he let his thoughts wander around, he can end up creating a universe or something.
He must be careful in this place, in the Blank Space.
Many people come to this place and even more people come following their trail. It is the most common event in history for people to exist here.
It is the Blank Space after all.
"Okay, I get it. It is the Blank Space… thank you. Will you please shut up so I can think?"
That was Jon shouting.
"They know."
Just to clarify.
"… Fair point… okay, keep narrating but… don't make me feel interrupted."
Peace of cake. Jon was trying to focus and with a slight push, he was in total focus at the moment. Everything becomes clearer and the bigger picture unfolds slowly as if a large number of domino pieces falling one after another in an artistic manner.
"That was great!" Said Jon referring to the large number of pieces of Domino that he imagined falling one after another in an artistic manner.
"Yes, I had the euphoria of thoughts that felt totally awesome. Can we do that again?"
Tick tock.
"A large clock appears as the narrator indicated the tightness of time trying to warn Jon from the seriousness of his situation... Hold on… Did I just narrate?"
It would seem that Jon found himself in a rather strange situation. He looked pale for a second as he finally started to take the situation very seriously.
"Can you at least help?"
Jon asked the air.
"The fuck! You are bailing out on me now?"
Alright, I'll throw you a bone. How about a riddle?
"… Okay."
I have a Blank Space, I have Limitless Imagination, I have full Authority but I don't have enough Time. What am I?
"Easy… that's me...… WAIT!" Jon raised his hands as he realized the complexity of the question and finally understood the answer, "You… it's You!"
"I know… I know where I am… I finally understand. Heh! Hehehe! You are a really tricky one, aren't you...
I understand now. It was all pieced out yet I was… stupid…
I am out!
HAHAHA!
I AM OUT!
OUTSIDE!
This is weird but it is getting weirder yet it somehow makes sense… and makes no sense at all.
It is so stupid yet clever… well, from my perspective at least.
I am outside.
Outside what?
Outside the Text, Out of Context, Lost in the Translation, Away from Keyboard.
I am in a Blank Space.
The Black Chaos I was in was the darkness of the ink. The White Blank is the Whiteness of the Paper.
Right now I am… I am way ahead of my story.
It is still Chaos you see, Chaos is the extreme sides on both edges. A black sea of ideas you can never see through or a White Blank Space you only hear the echo of your thoughts in.
Who did you think I was talking to. A third person? How? I am the only person here.
What a twist!
This Chaos is playing tricks on me.
Even time… it is not right.
Two, One, Three. Be careful!
***
(Three)
I didn't lose myself.
But it got worse than I imagined.
"You look handsome."
"You look handsome too."
"I am Jon, by the way."
"Pleasure. I am Jon too."
"Fantastic! Double Trouble!"
"Excuse me, you two are Jon, right?"
"Oh look, it is a third Jon."
"Three of us? That's a Triple Threat, Baby."
"Guys, calm down. The four of us getting too excited about the number is just idiotic. By the way, it's a Wholesome Foursome now."
"This is so cool."
"Four of us. That's more than a single book can handle."
"Indeed. But we must be careful, there is something not right about our number. Jon Dare is supposed to be one Jon Dare, four of us is simply asking for trouble."
"I couldn't agree more, handsome version of me."
The Four Jon Dares looked at each other and thought. Actually, their thoughts were shared and synced all time but it would be a killjoy if they didn't speak them out loud.
"So, let's put some rules. We are all equal so there is no reason to go full sicko on each other. Let's just randomly pick a number."
"I got 1." (1)
"I got 2." (2)
"I got 3." (3)
"I got 4." (4)
"That's incredible. Now, why are there four of us?" (1)
"It is mostly because of the Chaos. Each time we fall into a situation, we start having a very troubling experience. The First experience Blank Whiteness, the second experience was an Existential Crisis, and the third experience is a multiple character disorder." (2)
"Damn! That's one hell of a situation we got ourselves into." (3)
"This is to be expected. After all, we are in a place that doesn't make sense. Thankfully, we are now having some control. We need to figure out a plan." (4)
"Bang our way out of Chaos!" (2)
"With a style! And a flip once we land." (1)
"Sounds like a solid plan, Gentlemen, but I'm afraid we'll need more." (3)
"More Jons?" (4)
"God forbids!" (3)
"Okay, jokes aside. Who here would want to share the plan we all have in our mind right now?" (1)
"Okay, I'll go. So as everyone knows, we passed two phases now. Turning the Chaos into Order required us to organize Time then Get our thoughts together. This time we are in a situation with our Reality." (2)
"That's one hell of a situation, guys." (4)
"Well, at least with the four of us going Hive Mind… or Mind Hive… which one is this?" (1)
"That's strange, I agree. We are in the same person's head but we are also sharing the same head. God! That's too confusing." (3)
"Either way, Reality is very unorganized right at the moment." (1)
"For that, that is why this space is like this. Blank and White. We are outside the text of our story." (3)
"Off text… that's like we are novel characters on a blank page. I see the irony." (2)
"So, in order to fix this, we need to write ourselves in the story." (4)
"We now have the power over this White Space. We can rewrite it." (1)
"No no no, we need to write back." (2)
"Write back. That's a good term. This means we need everything we had right at the moment we fell into the Chaos." (4)
"And exactly in details about how we were at the time. But we are missing one great detail." (3)
"Once we set it all back, we will return back to the chaos once again and all these events will repeat themselves unless…" (2)
"Unless we know what we are up against." (1)
"For all that we know, we were dragged into the Chaos by some being and it may be Sithis. Either way, some being used our plan to send Mannimarco to the Void and opened up a loophole so we get devoured as well." (3)
"Remember, our Fate is only restrained to our Universe, outside of it. We are weaker and we don't possess neither magic nor any sort of leverage." (4)
"If anyone has this sort of power, it should be a Higher Existence from a less stable world." (3)
"What we know about the Stable Worlds is that they have more reality than ours thus they possess no Powers or Magic. Earth for example." (1)
"So our enemy may be that thing Shadow once talked about, the danger threatening Earth." (2)
"There is a fair chance. Still, we don't know much and can't point fingers. Let's start our work now, shall we?" (4)
The situation was much more understandable than before. The Jons managed to get themselves a destination and a threat to be wary of. With the work laid out, the four started working on recreating themselves on a well-detailed scale.
Chaos dissolves things. If the Outer Space is a vacuum to Air then Chaos is a vacuum to Time. Jon's survived but he needs to regain the time he lost, it was part of the reason he split in four. Just like Auri-El, Akatosh, Alkosh and Alduin. To exist, he needed his four aspects that maintain this Spacetime he is in. As a four-dimensional manifold, 3 Jons keep the space while one maintains Time.
With this knowledge, the four of them started recreating their own new aspect by mantling one another. They first needed to "Write Back" everything about themselves.
The First was Nefertiti. Their Fluffiest Friend in the whole wide world. Once she finally regained being, she experienced a four-way patting from the fluff-hungry Jons.
What came after that were definitely the Sin Artifacts. Greed had taken enough damage from the Chaos and the Jons had to 3D print it from memory, Pride was hard to pull, Lust was unstable and Wrath was inactive.
It didn't end here as the Cube was recreated too with every piece of inventory stored in it. This process required Jon almost two mental years to put all that stuff together.
Jon was left with two things he didn't recreate yet. One of them kept slipping out of his mind and the other was just something he seemed to have forgotten.
"Why would a thing keep slipping out of our mind?" (3)
"Interesting question. I have a theory." (1)
"Entertain us." (2)
"I think the thing that keeps slipping was protected by a Disregarding Spell, you know, like the one from that time we snuck to High Hrothgar." (1)
"Someone planted an item on us and protected it from others noticing it may sound like one person to me." (4)
"Nurina." (1)
"She's the only one who knows how to pull that one out as far as we know." (2)
"Still, that is strange. We are not fully Jon so we can't remember such a thing but if there is someone who can…" (2)
The four Jons turned around.
"Lady of Naps." (1)
"Mistress of Grace." (2)
"Queen of Fluff." (3)
"Her Meowjesty." (4)
The four of them were embarrassingly posing around the napping Nefertiti who opened her eyes knowing that her troublesome Hoomans are up to no good.
"Hoomans. Fluff off."
"Yes, but we are trying to remember something only you can remember." (1)
"Fine, Hoomans. Be quick."
"An item belonged to Nurina, she must have planted on Jon for a long time and he must have never parted with it." (2)
"It may be big or small but at least cherished as a memento." (3)
"And must have been there almost all the time." (4)
The Four Jons described to her something that she can never mess. Something she is 100% familiar with ever since Jon adopted her.
How could these four idiots forget about it?
The thought made her take a human form and look at them strangely.
"You cat to be kitten me!"
There was one item that fit the description rather very well.
"Nurina's Enchanted Golden Ring of course."
The Golden Ring! The four Jons could now recollect what was slipping off their minds and became pale.
How could they ever forget about the most important thing Jon cherished more than anything.
The Ring was given to Jon way before he left Riften for the first time. Nurina gave it to him around the time she started teaching him. The Ring was simply too good for its incredible Magicka Regeneration ability but more to that, Jon could never see through that ring.
Yet the details, the texture, the carvings. He can never forget those.
The Ring was there almost everywhere he went. The Adventures, the Battles, the Heists, Even at his wedding he was wearing it. Also, when he was trapped in the Briarheart Tree, he lost some fingers but he had the finger which had that ring intact.
"Hoomans!"
And no one ever tried to loot it from him
"Hoomans!"
This is strange! It is not just gold, it is also enchanted and…
"Hoomans!"
There was that strange thing… he never…
He never took that ring off either.
"HOOMAN!"
Nefertiti jumped off her place and hugged Jon.
He never noticed but all of a sudden, he was being put back together, Jon after Jon.
He returned… as one.
"How on…"
He wanted to hold Nefertiti's shoulder but as soon as his eyes landed on his hand, he saw something that spooked him.
The Ring was there… back on its own.
He didn't need to write it back but it returned and with a glow on top of it.
"Hooman, your ring is glowing."
"Yeah… I can see."
Just what absurdity did Nurina plant on him for all these years.
"This thing… it put me back together. I had a plan to do so but it would take time… why would it… Time?"
Jon had an absurd idea.
"Time? Is this ring powered by Time?"
Jon never had the chance to see such a thing. Something that consumes time was on his hand for years… it must have… some sort of recorded him. A Recorder of a sort?
Nothing would pull a being back together to a perfect full state unless it is getting a record of him. Backup & Recovery if he wanted to put it in an accurate manner.
Nurina was incredible at everything and no matter how much more Jon learns, he finds himself understanding how an incredible mage his adoptive mother is. If Jon had the Power of an Immortal combined with that ring he…
"Nurina, you… you've got to be kidding me."
If this hand landed in the hands of a Higher Existence, it can be used to…
"Travel Back in Time."
Such a thing was completely out of Jon's league. Even if he could utter the words, he can't imagine the magic itself. If Nurina had created an item to go back in Time, she must have made it to return back and save her family during the Destruction of the City of Vivec.
That was Nurina's regret… her family. But she now has the means to return back in time. Even if it creates a Dragon Break and destroys 200 years' worth of World History, Jon knew that Nurina was a selfish person regarding the ones she loves. Why hasn't she done it?
Why put it around his fingers?
That is a question only she can answer. Jon dejectedly accepted that and kissed the ring.
"I guess we just need to get done with our business here, right?" Jon said.
Nefertiti let go of him and asked.
"What do we need?"
"When we entered the Chaos, we had someone else with us. We need him around." Jon said.
Nefertiti frowned immediately.
"That evil elf dog person mage." She said meaning Mannimarco.
"Quite accurate, your Fluffness, but not quite right." Jon said.
He moved back to the table planted on the Blank White space and pulled out a quill and a paper.
"The one who entered with us was indeed Mannimarco but we don't need him, in the Chaos, souls are irrelevant. What we need is that guy."
Jon started writing for some time before witnessing the Manifestation of another individual. Nefertiti hid behind Jon as she felt uncomfortable with that person being around.
On the other hand, that person opened his eyes and looked around with an expression as blank as the space they are in.
Jon stood in front of him, the last piece of getting back to the Text of the Story. Maybe, the one character who wasn't given the chance to play a fair role or have the right ending.
"Hello, my name is Jon, you can call me Krilon. I am friends with Isha." Jon offered a handshake, "You must be Zain."
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