章 397: Only Emptiness Remains
While the gods and dragons were wondering how to find Qiang Yan's child Jing Yi was still slowly walking through his inner self drawing out one memory after the other. Since he found out how to rest his own consciousness the memories seemed to come faster and faster, not even giving him the time to think the things he saw through.
Rather than saying that Jing Yi was taking a look at the Nine Heavens, it would probably have been more accurate to say that Jing He was currently living there and was being observed by someone without his knowledge. Those were Jing He's steps he retraced and it was Jing He's words that he spoke and it certainly was Jing He's thoughts that occupied his mind. The most noticeable were his feelings though. The longer Jing Yi stayed to rediscover his memories the more he felt himself to be influenced by Jing He's feelings.
Right now, he was once again caught in a memory that highlighted just how much they did. He was back at his own palace, tending to his flowers like he seemed to have done a lot. Just when he bent down to gently brush the brightly colored leaves of a flower the hem of a dark robe appeared in front of him.
Jing He straightened up but his gaze only lifted until it reached the plant in the man's hands. "Longjun has come by again? I'm honored by your visit." He said so but his heart was tranquil. This was obviously a memory from the beginning when they hadn't known each other very well. At the moment, this man meant nothing to him.
"Mn. I came to bring you a present." The plant was handed to him and a pair of hands followed suit to cover his.
Jing He looked at them and there was slight worry in his heart. Well, rather than saying this man meant nothing to him it would probably be more accurate to say that Jing He felt him to be trouble. "Longjun …"
"Oh. Yes, yes, of course. This … That wasn't appropriate. I know. I just … felt so happy to see you."
Jing He's lips tightened, the worry over what would happen next getting stronger. But just when he was searching for a reason to send this person away or at least call somebody else over Jing Yi's consciousness raised its head in protest.
This was his lover! How could he treat him like that? No, he should … he should do what he always did. He should let him hold his hands and gently smile at him the way he liked and maybe … maybe he should finally lift his gaze to his eyes to see where it led them.
His eyes wandered upward indeed and that familiar sight made his heart beat higher. Meanwhile, the man's voice sounded again the warm timbre seemingly caressing him.
"I missed you very much. I know we only saw each other yesterday but I longed for you. If I could, I would spend every single minute here."
Even though Jing He was unimpressed by this confession, Jing Yi wasn't. He blushed and his heart throbbed faintly. He wanted to reach out to that man and he wanted him to come closer, to take him into his arms. Yes, he didn't mind to lie in this man's arms anymore. On the contrary, he actually liked it. His embrace felt warm. Warm and secure. As if it had been supposed to be this way.
But right now he could only watch and hope that maybe Jing He would do what he longed to do since he himself couldn't. It all depended on his former self. Unfortunately, it didn't seem that he would be lucky.
When the two of them reached the pavilion, Jing He placed the plant on the table before turning back to his future lover. Even though he wanted to show him out immediately he was a person that placed much emphasis on manners. He definitely wouldn't throw somebody out who had come to give him a present.
Jing He motioned at the table. "Please, have a seat. Would you like some tea?"
The man sat down and his gaze very obviously brushed Jing He's face and finally stayed there. It even seemed tangible.
"Mn. Why not? I wonder … is there any special tea Your Highness likes?"
Jing He just smiled and motioned for the man to wait a moment. There weren't many servants in his palace and most of the time when he was in the gardens he would have to go himself if he wanted tea. It probably didn't conform to his status but since he liked to live this way and his father endlessly indulged him it had never presented a problem.
As expected his future lover couldn't wait for him to prepare the tea. Jing He had only just reached his chambers and placed everything on a tray when steps sounded behind him.
"Your Highness, this looks heavy. How about letting me lend you a hand?" He asked politely but he actually reached out while saying so and took the tray from him.
Jing He kept his gaze trained on the tray and smiled. "I thank you for the offer but you're my guest. How could I let you carry things for me?"
"Then just don't regard me as a guest."
The man's gaze seemed to burn into him, urging him not to regard him as an outsider any longer but to accept the advances he was making.
Jing He's head lowered further while he contemplated how to evade this man's advances once more without risking the relationship between their races. Jing Yi couldn't take it any longer. He really couldn't understand this past self of his.
When had their lover ever treated them anything but gently? When had he ever spoken an untrue word to them? This kind of man, how could he treat him so coldly? How could he stay so cowardly even up until the end and not follow what his heart had already told him for a long time? How could he risk this beautiful love between them?
Jing Yi reached out, his fingers tugging into his lover's robe. He ignored the tray Tian was still holding and tiptoed, his lips nearing those of the other man. But just when they reached them the memory in front of him faded, leaving only a feeling of emptiness behind.
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