worldheart

LV 5
2017-11-08 Bergabung Global
Lencana 4

Moments 13
worldheart
worldheart
1 years ago
Commented

This is sad. It was an amazing story, but readers want to be authors, which makes the process suck. Good luck with your cs degree and in life.

worldheart
worldheart
1 years ago
Commented

That was too short, and nothing really happened narratively. You don't need to add much more, but chapters like these are for foreshadowing. I like that you do that right at the end, but the chapter could be summarized as Spring is here random raid, "we need them alive." add a little more detail, such as where they are raiding, who do they want alive, maybe add the perspective of a random person that you can use in the future either in the main plot or to show how the society has advanced/changed due to the actions of the main characters.

worldheart
worldheart
worldheart
1 years ago
Commented

i just realized the team is the penguins of Madagascar

"Well, Penguin Commandos. We have a great opportunity to commit another act of motivated, and more importantly, well-paid violence. Everybody get ready."

Cyberpunk 2077- Trauma team

Cyberpunk 2077- Trauma team

Video Games · Abi_Daulen

worldheart
worldheart
2 years ago
Commented

in the same boat as you man get well

worldheart
worldheart
2 years ago
Commented

yes

worldheart
worldheart
2 years ago
Commented

just jinx

worldheart
worldheart
2 years ago
Commented

+1

worldheart
worldheart
2 years ago
Commented

+1

worldheart
worldheart
2 years ago
Replied to Nutella_

+1

The image with the most likes wins. You can also upload your idea.

Naruto: Reborn With a System!

Naruto: Reborn With a System!

Anime & Comics · Nutella_