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SPSD

LV 4
2021-05-24 Bergabung Global
Aktivitas
Karya Asli
Lencana 5

Moments 73
SPSD
SPSD
2 months ago
Posted

Let me go over one by one. Writing Quality had become great. I read and reviewed one of the author's previous books and from there, his writing quality has jumped way higher. There are no Grammer mistakes, at least none I could catch. There is a bit too much exposition sometimes, like explaining the customs of the land and their significance along with describing the reactions of the supporting main leads a bit too extensively. The first is needed in all respects lest the readers feel alienated but the latter could have been toned down just a bit, but that's just my opinion. Story Development so far is great. The author really catches your attention and doesn't let go. me, personally, I didn't like the addition of the harem from Greek mythology but that's just my personal preference. I do feel that it was revealed too soon, but then again, revealing it too late might have led to the readers growing attached to Draupadi only. Characters are all dynamic and serve their own purpose. Especially the character of Krishna was so beautifully added. I do have some bias about the way the author underlines the Dynamic between the Kauravas and the Pandavas though. In a lot of literary and TV media, you always see the authors or the directors take a side and support a particular group and the author does the same and supports the Kauravas. But there stands to reason that no one in the Mahabharata is actually a good character. They're certainly not bad as they are followers of Dharma, but they are evil in a way that does not violate the Dharma of that age and that has been beautifully underlined in the original Epic. But then again, these are all creative choices and the author writes the characters beautifully. Update Stablility is great. World Background instantly gets a five star since the work it's trying to adapt is so expansive and complex by itself. it can make way for a lot of interesting philosophical and narrative moments. and the existence of other myths only aids to that. Wish you well author! keep writing!

SPSD
SPSD
4 months ago
Replied to 1Accelerator

🧐🧐🧐🧐

While Quant says the word God with a capital G. "God."

Tower of God: Sequence Strength

Tower of God: Sequence Strength

Others · Yesnth

SPSD
SPSD
4 months ago
Replied to Akashic_Avatar

Better. But I've started to not take too much time on web novel, So updates might slow down in the future or not at all. We'll just have to see I guess. 👍

A/N: I don't know if anyone noticed in the last chapter.

Tower of God: Sequence Strength

Tower of God: Sequence Strength

Others · Yesnth

SPSD
SPSD
4 months ago
Replied to system

I mean the hunter pathway is definitely 'brave'. probably also the reason there is no red priest to speak of. lol

- You get access to the abilities of the three pathways of the Lord of Mysteries- The Fool, The Error and The Door.

Tower of God: Sequence Strength

Tower of God: Sequence Strength

Others · Yesnth

SPSD
SPSD
5 months ago
Replied to Aden_Harrison

In the mythology, Shiva's Dance, known as the 'Tandav' is the precursor to destruction of the universe. His dance is what initiates the destruction and as it ends, a new cycle starts. Basically, Shiva's dance makes creation itself tremble.

"I see. It makes sense after all. We are similar in some ways. Are we not?"

Competent Poseidon

Competent Poseidon

Anime & Comics · DaoistqZxYMH

SPSD
SPSD
8 months ago
Commented

I do think the way Mahoraga's adaptation works is, even if he really gets immunity to a certain aspect, he would keep adapting to more effectively counter that aspect. Like in Gojo's case, bypassing infinity was not enough so he sliced through space, if that had not been enough, he would have adapted a third time, if not, an even stronger fourth adaptation would follow. Mahoraga adapts more and more, getting exponentially stronger until he can defeat an opponent. Solely getting an immunity is not what the adaptation does, and so, there should be no problem with his growth. But hey, you do you. The story is already very good. Kepp up the good work👍👍

A/N: I hope you guys like my idea of his aspect. I hope I have covered all of the plot holes. Hopefully. And I know some of you will be like. Why is he getting nerfed and stuff. Look he'll be way too op if he was like the original. He is already op enough. Besides if he gets immunity to everything then what will he grow with?. Anyway if you have a question. Just ask. Also send me those lovely stones of yours.

Shadow Slave: The Inheritance of Balance

Shadow Slave: The Inheritance of Balance

Anime & Comics · The_oneandonly344

SPSD
SPSD
9 months ago
Commented

Hmm🤔 This 'training arc' is not fulfilling at all. What should have been an interesting delve into the deeper parts of the fundamentals that govern the world has been skipped over in just a few chapters without having any type of content at all. Let me explain more clearly, in the ancient setting in which Ramayana is set, the Gurukul system was a very revered education system with little to no flaws. Students learned absolutely everything that there was to offer. The teachers, which were the Gurus and Sages taught them Philosophy, Astronomy, Economy, Knowledge of Worldly Affairs, Astra and Shastra Vidya, Humility, Moral code of conduct, Dharma, Servitude and Ruling, Sciences, Medicine(Aaurvedha), and a lot of other things. [At least according to my knowledge] The Period of life which made the child attend the Gurukul extended from early childhood all the way to before adulthood. Meaning, anywhere between 5 to 17 or 21 Years old. Not only could the arc have considered to be an interesting dive into the entire world building and the powers which govern the world, in essence, delving deeper into the various components of the myths, it could have proved a very important point in the story with a lot of emotional impact if the matters of teaching and the philosophical guidances were correctly conducted. I'm sure there are still more chapters to this teaching, but it seems empty, devoid of any useful content that would help the reader understand the world or the characters therein better. All we've seen is Meghnad getting here, Shukracharya spouting some philosophical stuff which doesn't even make sense in the overall theme that has been established, and him not even taking the time to teach meghnad properly. The way the entire 'teaching' dynamic has been tackled is idiotic. Shukracharya is a very powerful and knowledgeable sage and is revered as the Guru of the Asuras. Him not taking the initiative to properly teach Meghnad is illogical. An example would be in this very chapter and the previous ones. Swing the sword while channeling your inner strength? How is he supposed to do that? the most basics of the yogic practices would be to meditate and unlock his root Chakra, to tap into the kundalini. However, even without that, he's already learned an Astra, a divine weapon that stems out from the pure knowledge of the universe. Also, we haven't seen him learn anything else from the guy. Is the Astra literally the first thing he taught him? I dont think Shastra Vidya starts so soon in the Gurukul, not to mention Astra Vidya, for which the students need to be properly educated on the pure scale of the universe before recieving. I suggest not doing so in any of the other works that you might be attempting to make. Properly establishing the world and the characters will engage readers. Doing this only makes the readers feel lost. We haven't spent a lot of time with the characters and things are already moving so fast. Anyways, good luck👍

SPSD
SPSD
9 months ago
Replied to Suryaputra_Karna01

No problem😊

SPSD
SPSD
9 months ago
Replied to Suryaputra_Karna01

OK, first of all, thanks for the clarification. Second of all, that is a major spoiler for the novel. For a simple question such as this, you could have simply replied with "The rule hasn't been changed, it has simply been overridden under certain conditions. That is all I can say." Thanks regardless. I posted a review, it was my honest thoughts up until now, hope it helps you in some way. 👍👍

Complete Death. No reincarnation, No resurrection, just an eternal void.

Reincarnated As The Asura Prince

Reincarnated As The Asura Prince

Fantasy · Suryaputra_Karna01

SPSD
SPSD
9 months ago
Posted

I don't know what to say about this one. it's a pretty weird piece if work that feels... off to read. I started this without any expectations, but as I read, I was pleasantly surprised at first. It is an entertaining read and is a good way to pass time if you have too much of it. Though, all things considered, there is something very much off about the way the story is presented, the pacing, the dialogue delivery and the established characters. Lets go over all the Main points. Writing quality: I won't be lying, it feels like you are over compensating. In the few 30 chapters I read, I noticed quite a few peculiar words and sentence structures being repeated. Threads of Destiny, Cosmic Damce, Cosmic Order, Celestial Harmony, etc are thrown all over the place. It does not feel organic at all. It would be impactful they are used in sparingly, but throwing them all in just like that makes the work feel weird to read and even a bit disengaging. Story Development: Again, I won't be lying, the story development is awful. Sense of pacing is all over the place. In the very first few chapters, we get a climactic battle of Cosmic proportions, yet there is no engagement in the conflict at all. We know everything will turn out okay because we know the original Ramayana, and we knew that the Mc can't die yet, because the story needs to continue. The conflict between the Asura and the Devas feels bland and uninteresting. Not to mention we aren't even given a comprehensive understanding of the power system at that point, so such a large scale battle which could be used as a great way to develop the plot and gain tension was wasted. Another thing about the power system is the fact that the author introduces completely new elements into the story. Which is not wrong per se, but there is the fact that we don't even have the slightest understanding of even the most basic forms of power in the Universe, and hence, I felt lost and downright uninterested. Character Design: We don't spend a lot of time with any character. There are some dialogues here and there, which to be honest is not productive at all. The major figures do not talk as they should be, the writing feels way too poetic to read and the dialogue reflects that in some way or form. Dialogue is the way we get the most familiar with characters and it does not do that here. Major events are skipped over the in the matter of a few chapters or even a single chapter. There is a sense of alienation. The time that needs to be taken to get to know characters is simply absent. It is akin to not having a character to present at all. Updating stability: It is good. World Background: Considering the context of the Ramayana, the world building already gets a great score, solely based on the type of work it is trying to adapt. Short note: It is an somewhat good read but only to pass time. There is a lot of potential in the way it can be developed still but the opportunities one gets at the start of the novel are already gone. It cannot be classified as a gem or anything of the sort. In essence, a typical webnovel with a still learning author. Good luck author 👍, hope you get better at writing and deliver masterpieces in the future. I would suggest reading novels like Lord of Mysteries and Shadow Slave to get a batter sense of how characters and pacing can be set in the work.

  • Barsoom - A New John Carter original

    Barsoom - A New John Carter

    Book&Literature ACTION ADVENTURE REINCARNATION OVERPOWERED

    Mars, or better known to it's inhabitants as Barsoom, is a dying planet which survives on technologically created atmospheres and water. The lifeforms that thrive on this planet, which has a lesser gravitational pull than that of Earth and a thinner atmosphere, have adapted to the living conditions here. But even so, the competition for survival in these lands is fierce, leading to the development of strange customs and a violent mindset among the inhabitants. One day, a man named John Carter gets mysteriously transported to this planet which lies millions of kilometers away from Earth, and using the strength that the lesser gravity and the thinner atmosphere provides him with, he forges a legend in his journey. At least that was how it should have been. Now, in place of John Carter, is another man, an amalgamation of both John and the one before him. How would he, affect the world of Barsoom and the creatures it inhabits, the Barsoomians? . . . I do not own Barsoom series, it belongs to Edgar Rice Burroughs. The fan fiction would follow the books as a source material and not the movies, though it may take some inspiration from it.

    10 Chs 563 Koleksi