AshW0If

It's one of the best Naruto fan fic's. The ending was a little bland, but the story more then makes up for it, The phrase that best describes this book is 'heh your plan ? No, there is no. Your plan. There is only my plan. You might think you have a plan, but that is still part of my plan'

Don't worry, you are doing great. I am just pointing out something I saw that will make the book a tinny bit better ( in my opinion), and I'm just saying there is no need to rush the story development. Take your time and develop the MC relationships (like with her little sister) anyho, I'm eagerly waiting for the next chapter. You are doing great (Love the book )

The book is pretty good. All things considered, the only two problems I have with the book are 1 not defined emotional example' it is always daphne said or she said' The book never gives clear emotions this make the characters fell less alive and more like dolls this can be easily solved if the author just used more expressive writing example 'She asked with a playful smirk'. Two, the mc doesn't change the story in any meaningful way, making it seem that the character is just a self insert going through Harry Potter but it does offer its own insight and good world building so it does kinda make up for it another thing about this book is the pacing, the book is just from main story point to main story point no slice of life or side arc and I think that the book can benefit with a little side arc that makes the connections that the mc has more human because spoiler alert the death of Vivien did not hit hard because for us it was just a few interactions so we did not bond with the character but for the mc it was months hence the book would have benefited greatly by dveling more into that relationship before her death with a mini arc. The author sometimes forgets about characters. Hence, they have not been seen for a long time even tho they are hella interesting. chough Ginny chough But on a more positive note, the Romance with Tracy (suffering by the same development problem as above ) is pretty good. The only 2 instances in the book where they were romantic was very well done, so hats of to that. Writing 4/5 Story 5/5 Character Design 5/5 Character Development 3/5 Update Stability 5/5 World Background 6/5 ( The author adds their own twists and makes the world better, so 6 )

Just a few words, Mc brain dead, story Trash, Chapter 36 Mc lets a protagonist know that the world is a novel ,Chapter 37 Mc let's a protagonist know he is not the original owner of the body, Author doesn't know how the police work, Author doesn't know how the hospital works and how doctors can easily tell what kind of a wound the patient has, did I mention Brain dead Mc oh yeah I did but I am writing it another time so that it can be well known that THE MC IS BRAIN DEAD!, Plot points make no sense,The Mc is not a villain they are a antagonist hence you are being lied too. Most male protagonists are just copies of each other. All are horny like dogs and look at any girl with lust and say this girl will be in my harem. This is not how real people think. conclusion Mc:0 Plot:0 Wolrd:2 Writing:1 don't read it just a waste of time

I Kinda have a love-hate relationship with this novel. On the one hand, the word building is great, writing quality above average for this app, and some characters are amazingly written, while on the other hand, the author put so many twists into the story that it is mind boggling I mean [Spolier]- The dude that kills the Mc's family is first reincarnated as Edward kills everybody then he somehow travels in time with op abilities and kills best girl ( not really kills her but still ) there was no foreshadowing or anything just this is the plot now and another thing that I just can't really take in is the fact that he knows that the system master is manipulating him, watching him and altering his memories yet he does nothing about it just says thank you like wtf !. Writing 9/10 Story Development 3/10 ( To many things happen with no foreshadowing, and no warning just fells forced [ to me]) Character Design 7/10 ( Some characters are great and have amazing development while others are just forgotten and altered [Take The Half elf as the example, for 70 chapters, nothing on her yet out of the blue and for no good reason (except a kiss) she says she is another reincarnate and she was violated in her world so she is NOW JOINING ANTY-EDIN like wtf why butcher a character] Update stability 1/10 ( No comment) World Backround 10/10.