FastestOfAllSperm

There is something bothering me when reading this novel at a subconscious level. It feels like it's missing something. Like what some dude said, everybody is a main character in their own world or perspective. To me, it seems that your characters are like cardboard cutouts. Like it only exist to help the characters. That's their only purpose. You shouldn't have put too many characters in.

Pretty awesome. Highly recommend! Aside from my first reaction on using the name and personality of other characters from different franchise. It was smooth. I quickly adapted to it. Author used characters from different stories but only kept their look and personality, they also fit in the world. However, there are some minor contradictions in technology that bother me at a subtle level.

A perfect execution of Show, Not Tell. The writing is very concise. It gives a lot of information and details in very few word. Your writing is very brief but comprehensive. I'm jealous of your diverse choice of words and the knowledge on how to use them. You write these scenes masterfully, like when he calls or mentions someone, you either know that character through the original medium or if you don't, you can derive from his writing what kind of character they are. Your style of writing makes this story very interesting. I know this is my second review, but when the double digit chapters were released, I saw a different side of your writing that I previously overlooked. A mastery in Show, Not Tell, a very concise writing. Brief but comprehensive. I couldn't not write this. Thank you for this wonderful story and I look forward for more.