Oof lol
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Fantasy · Samy_OO
Maybe instead of having this here show us this later on or something. Just a thought.
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Fantasy · Samy_OO
Ah I see. Kinda would’ve liked to see a moment where the personality change happened. But that might affect pacing negatively, so I don’t really know.
Honestly, it didn't bother him that her personality had changed. If she wanted to be close to him she wouldn't have had an attitude change and he wasn't the type that would be saddened by a change in his friend's personality.
Fantasy · Samy_OO
Do we find out how so? Like we get a glimpse at the level of close they used to be. But how did they grow apart?
He said the last word looking deeply into her yellow eyes before placing his hand back in his pocket and walking towards his room. He remembered how close they were when he first came here and recently, the distance between them just kept increasing.
Fantasy · Samy_OO
Good details here.
She had long brown hair that was packed in a high ponytail, yellow gem-like eyes, an oval face, small pink lips, beige-colored skin, and thin brown eyebrows. Despite her young age, she was a beauty who would make men of all ages look at her.
Fantasy · Samy_OO
Redded eyes? Like on the verge of crying?
Alistar soon turned to look at the saddened kids behind him. Some had reddened eyes, others could be seen with a sorrowful expression, while a few straight out balled their eyes out.
Fantasy · Samy_OO
I’ve seen some comments on pacing for the first chapter. I can see what they’re saying but it’s not much of an issue to it. As long as you stay consistent to it and it has something in chapter two to kick things up a gear (I’ll read chapter 2 soon).
I mean I’ve only seen this type of dialogue turn into something sus. But I’m trusting the process.
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Fantasy · Samy_OO
Heads up you called both beast types here special grades.
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I know I keep yapping on these chapters with my comments. But you're doing a good job. I'll try to turn down my yapping lol.
I Can Perfect All Things
Fantasy · Samy_OO