Aiming to become a master story teller through writing and drawing. Owner of Yami Hikari Entertainment.
2020-01-02 Bergabung United States
thank you for your honest review. i really appreciate it.
no problem. Thank you for reading.
ch 26 The Hunt (II)
Fantasy · BlackSnowAngel
i really like how you describe this.
Adriano couldn't even begin to understand how massive the mountain-like installation was. Someone could be born on its steps, spend his entire life walking up, and still die of old age before reaching the middle point.
Sci-fi · SpacePenguin
was it oddly worded?
"It's so. I will go over and bother Crystal to let me design the spinal area and the headpiece. I'm already thinking of some cool functions to put into the suit so it can even possibly be used in outer space. We already started to have a moon base and another one on Mars to live in." Timothy said excitedly, thinking about what could be done in the future if this suit was made possible. "Already moved 1.5 million people live on the Moon and another 900 thousand on Mars and increasing every month."
Fantasy · BlackSnowAngel
first! congrats on your first compeletion! keep it up.
ch 56 ON THE RISE
History · Hartetg
random tip. when two characters are talking to each other, you dont always have to say i said and she said after the two characters are brought into the picture and they bounce the conversation back and forth. it keeps the converstaion flowing. You can use the said, when a desciption is added or another charcter breaks into the conversation to differentiate, who said what.
"where are you headed, may I ask?" she asked
History · Hartetg
and the placement of said.*
same thing. The end isnt needed. The end represents the end of a story. your "said" and "asked" on this chapter when three people are talking, sometimes the said is best to put it behind the quote, so the transition between who is speaking helps in a more smoother tone. If you want to put it in the front, use it to break up the pacing for the readers.
ch 0 3 A Friendly Dual
Fantasy · itsuki_kun1195
im not sure what you mean?
"Hold your damn horses, I'm working on it," Jones grumbled under his breath, saying a couple of words in a foreign language that sounded close to Jamaican. He glared at Timothy for rushing him.
Mind Linker
Fantasy · BlackSnowAngel