FatesEnvoy

Yo.

The timeline is splitting.

Yes and no. Ricky’s development was phenomenal, especially in the Black Knight trials in the Dracula fights. I was in tears throughout the trials as I saw Ricky struggle through and overcome a lot of the troubles I have in my own life. At the same time, I do think you may have introduced a few too many characters in recent chapters. Its hard to imagine all of Ricky’s kids getting satisfying introductions and progressions. I’m sure you’ll manage to surprise me though.

Abraham acted as a great foil to Ricky since his introduction. You did a great job contrasting his stagnation to Ricky’s reluctant growth. It really drove home why Ricky had to change to both the reader and Ricky himself. Abraham was a no good, washed up old man who couldn’t escape his demons even as he made the ultimate sacrifice, and I love him for it.

I don’t think it needs to happen immediately, or even soon really, but I am looking forward to all the developments for Asterion getting paid off. Right now it feels like he still lacks his own goal and motivations, and I think that the process of him finding those will be an interesting read. I hope you can find a way to fit atleast a chapter in on Ricky and Asterion’s adventures.

I think that Barko has been the least interesting recurring character so far. His introduction felt pretty strong, but he suffered from being essentially just a way to get to Ricky closer to Chores. I also felt attempts to expand on his character fell flat, reading more like exposition than the impactful character defining moments that we saw from some other side characters. Consequently, Barko has done little but play second fiddle to whatever side character was having their arc. I don’t think much substance would be lost if Barko had just stayed in New York. I also find his portrayal to be a little depressing. I think its admirable to be accepting of what life gives you, but Barko is a little too accepting. He always seems to make moments in time define years if his life, whether that be for better or for worse. I wouldn’t usually have a problem with this, but its made clear that Barko isn’t a very emotional person. He’ll put up with years of abuse and dishonesty because “there is no other option for me” while seemingly not even bothering to think of other options. He has a “this is my life now attitude” and it irks me.

I’ve enjoyed your story so far, it’s definitely one of the best fanfictions on webnovel. You’ve done a great job exploring and expanding on the already expansive world of Marvel while still maintaining a compelling, well paced narrative. That said, there does exist a disonance between Ricky’s skills/items and their narritive weight. Simply put, most of the items and skills either are mentioned once then never again, or only matter in combat. This is evident with all of Ricky’s skills, but particularilly his eldritch thing. The aquisition of this skill was presented as a major change in Ricky’s essence, and lead to a large cosmetic change to all of Ricky’s skills and items. Even so, nobody has cared about or really mentioned his strange and presumably disturbing aesthetic. I take that as a little odd. In general, I’d like more of Ricky’s trophies to have a presence in the story. I love seeing little one off mentions of otherwise unimportant or forgettable items and I wouldn’t even be against a whole chapter dedicated to experimentation or just messing around with random gatcha stuff. Anyway, awesome story. Keep up the good work.

Better than average, though in my opinion it is pretty much just a worse version of I Hate Systems. Still worth reading though.

Thanks

Where did you find this story of Buddha? I am curious.