Thanks for pointing it out to me! :D
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Written Twisted Wonderland
Video Games · Winter_Fox1
Fun fact! Red light is the weakest type of light, while purple is actually the strongest. It has to do with wavelength stuff for how light actually works. I don't know exact stuff...
"The color of the light changes with the strength of the dragonkin. That is somewhat matching light dragons like myself. The only difference is that I focus on the white light which is purer light elemental mana and more similar to the light of the sun." The dragon champion had been very silent so far.
Master of none
Fantasy · 1King_Rep1
Uh... Current and their champion were here as well. It's how they learned about the kraken infestation in the first place.
"You can see more clearly than I expected. My shadows often conceal what I want in life. I was in closed door meditation for some years before the last court gathering. I tend to forget the joys of flying through the skies. Now I can do just that while being the first dragon to experience what is new here." Midnight reacted with a slight growl. It ended up being strangely off since she was still in her dragonkin firm but Mordant understood it better than anyone. "Fine then, the second dragon here. But maybe you can learn human speech soon so that you can say that instead of growling it."
Master of none
Fantasy · 1King_Rep1
Despite asking the royal Earth dragon directly to come and none of the others...
"I was hoping that you would be the first to visit the home we are building. I can't wait to see the family you have brought." The large dragon landed and shifted like a pool of darkness full of waves. The next moment the same dragonkin form that Walker was familiar with strolled silently toward him.
Master of none
Fantasy · 1King_Rep1
THEY HAVE GOOGLE?!Lol I know it's supposed to be giggle but still that is a funny typo
"Just because you don't know something doesn't mean that it is a mystery to the world. Do you know how some paints are made? They are made from farmed flowers. Those reds and yellows you see in the kingdom's walls or a castle door are made from tulips. Red and yellow tulip petals to be exact." Pretending to pout was not the best look for Gil but it seemed to make Zephyr google while she drifted in the air trying to feel the flow of the wind through the cave.
Master of none
Fantasy · 1King_Rep1
"never made things for dragons before" WHAT?! Later, you say that while he was working in the volcano before meeting the party, he met the royal fire dragon and made him some armor. Something Ignus bragged about!!!Keep your own story straight, geez...
Walker waited while the wandering blacksmith pondered this job. It was not very unique in the way of materials but what it lacked in materials it made up for in reason. He had never made things for dragons before and he could only think that they would be something that showed off the highest skills he had. It also allowed him to vary the spirits he would work for rather than just making a predetermined design.
Master of none
Fantasy · 1King_Rep1
I would say more grandpa and aunt.
"Ah, so this is the noise. I was working on my lab and how I would want my tools set up when I found another one of those dwarven things and came looking for little Remey. I believe your reputation proceeds you. It is an honor to meet the person who taught so much to a stranger." The old master alchemist hobbled down the stairs the group was about to walk up. He has more than glad to see Trish and introduce himself. The two were sizing each other up while speaking on the herbs that Remey had brought back and their potential uses.
Master of none
Fantasy · 1King_Rep1
Given the fact that the rewards can be something like a gift from someone else a better to say would have been "The Weapon" or "The Forged Weapon" as that will be the final result of this chain quest and the reward of their labor.
Terrible with character designs, how the world looks, time, and some plots but still enjoyable. If you can also ignore the basically constant grammar mistakes!While you might not mention skin tones to try and not be racist it is a major part of a character's design. You also never described the main MC(Walker), at least in the beginning. Maybe later you say more with him but this is over a thousand chapters in at that point.Aftet saying multiple of the issues to someone, they actually asked me why I'm still reading it due to how many flaws I listed.
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original Written Twisted Wonderland
I'm writing the main plot/story of the videogame "Twisted Wonderland". At first the plan was to also use it for something else but now I'm not sure I will. I'm using a female Yuu, although if you want the gender is changeable. This is not my own original work, all credits to Disney and those that helped make the game. So none of the characters, places, or the plot is my own writing. Do not think that, because I do not claim credits to this any major way, I am simply writing the story, places, characters, and characters actions in a novel form. Please give constructive criticism because I am only trying my best.160 Chs 148 Koleksi
It's day. Thank you for pointed it out for me! It's been fixed now :D
Written Twisted Wonderland
Video Games · Winter_Fox1