Webnovel Author: _Vlad_ - Fanfic Collection

I think that you might be abusing the "flashbacks" a bit... in this part there was no problem for Hawkins to simply tell the story himself and that way you could describe how he felt about it, how his people felt about it, and give an insight of his personality directly. Hope it helps...

I find it a bit confusing the way you are structuring the story... like the last two chapters started somewhere at the middle of the previous one but with a different POV? I think the story might flow better without it... those chapters that repeat what the story already mentioned but under a different POV to add the personality or way of thinking of another character always feels a bit out of place for me (not saying you did that in this story... just a bit or a rant inside the rant). It would feel better to use those different POV to show how the other characters think when telling a new part of the story unless you are doing a mystery novel and even there feels kind of cheap? Especially if you are not updating that often. Sorry for the rant, I am liking the story in general and only hoped to give a bit of feedback. Cheers!