mytus123

That's weird then, with my hidden review as I didn't get any notice about it, but couldn't find it from my laptop (where I have the second account), that's actually how I found out about it. About the POV, I think you should check out how many ppl read your story chapter by chapter vs ones who do it in bigger 'chunks' (if that's possible here), because as you can see I didn't have as much issue with POV thing when I could read like 10 chapters in one go, but when I caught up with the releases and it the amount reduced to 1, 2 chapters... it started to affect me pretty much, as you can see. So maybe the answer might be one bigger release per week but with couple chapters in one go, or maybe it's not an issue for majority of your readers and I'm screaming alone into the void :) if that's so, you should pretty much ignore my opinion on this subject, the lesson here I assume is that you probably can't treat the story released 'page' by 'page' the same way you would do with releasing a full book and I think it's an issue to resolve with more than only one matter (POV). In the end, I think you should weight your options and choose the best one for yourself and your story.

I'd like to also ask you about the service you use to post the story, are you under something like NDA, so you can't host it on other platforms and that's why you moved away from the previous one? because I though they force it on author only in case where you are eligible to host paid chapters. I saw a lot of stories cross hosted on scribblehub.com and royalroad.com so I wonder why don't you make the same and as I said before the visibility of stories on this service is awful, every time when I try to find something it can be searcher only by one tag and that's all... so unless the story is in like top 10 of the genre it's pretty much invisible here.

Actually one more thing, did you really 'hid' my review and now it's not only invisible for others but it's not even counted in the overall story rating? because if that's true then this service really sucks, and I feel like such a looser to spend hours of my time and give a meaningful review for you as well as other readers. This service not only is missing a real search feature (btw, I didn't step accidentally on your story, I found it on scribblehub.com, where you started to post it), otherwise I wouldn't be able to locate it though this joke of a mechanism they call 'search', but also it seems like rating and comments can be artificially 'moderated'. I guess now I know why most of stories here are ~5 stars with pretty much no negative feedback, that's actually a nice wake up call... I'm glad it happened relatively early.

I guess you are right about the POV thing, and after some thinking on that subject I feel like it worked better at the beginning, maybe because before when POV changed I think we were mostly still continuing the process of the same action, we didn't jump between locations, we were still observing the same event just through the different eyes and that might have worked better, or actually the issue why I didn't noticed that might be more aligned with the fact that I started to read your story when there were already ~15 chapters, so going though them on one sitting didn't felt so bad with the POV changes... but now It's definitely the thing tho when I'm reading usually 1-2 chapters at once, and let's be honest here, there is a big gab between multiple chapters with one POV and what we have right now, not even a single chapter goes without like 2 or 3 location changes. I can't really argue with the other arguments, I'm just describing my take on these subjects and how I feel about the story, saying so I should mention that I'm pretty demanding reader and throughout the years of reading I've learned my breaking point, we're scrubbing it with the POV/locations jumps for sure right now (I still care enough to leave the review, when I drop the read that means no more interest into the story along with no feedback left).

funny story, that's actually my account on the notebook, so if you want to see my feedback '1 month later', check out a bit lengthy comment I left on this acc, there is also a 'section' about writing I left.

OP character(s) is a chink in my armor for sure, if not for that I would be gone in the first chapters... it was the hook I couldn't ignore. We've got here MC who is OP and doesn't care much about anything other than his destination, doesn't play with his enemies, doesn't care about some cheap ruse/curses throw in his direction, so as long as you stay away from his path you were fine, sadly I feel like even that should be written in a past tense, especially when I'm looking at the recent chapters. Other than that there was one more quite good thing, a nice 'picture' of world building we've received in a fist chapters, but after 52 chapters it's still just that... a 'picture'. It was outlined at the beginning with some minor additions throughout the later chapters, but there is no follow up on that. Time for some of my 'BAD' takes... and sadly there is more of that than I'd like to see: - boasting characters: that was a thing for pretty much anyone other than MC so far and I was kind of fine with that... but lately it started to affected even him, making pretty much the only thing I really 'fell' for... not so good anymore, hence the review. - poor drama: Like I could really care about someone who I just met, or know really nothing about... I'd feel more if someone from my close family broke a leg, rather than death of someone' parents, I just met once or twice recently - attachment is the key for tragic and drama scenes, and there is pretty much none of that here. - POV: it looks like it's as fickle as a weather... and It wasn't an issue at the beginning, but lately you can't even get a whole chapter through the eyes of one character and you can bet that pretty much every single of them is a cliffhanger, which as you can imagine... a situation you are hanging on won't be resolved in the next chapter, since you can bet on the POV change. - story progress: I could say that there is none, but It'd be a lie... not a big one tho, as there is pretty much nothing really meaningful to the story so far, some 'unexpected' new characters connected directly or indirectly with our MC's past pop up from time to time and other than that there is some vague foreshadowing... but that's all. Our MC doesn't have a goal, at least as for C52 we are not aware of that, he is just lazing around, traveling from point a to b on a whim and picking interest in some random things - being it a place for sleep or a person which for some reason (usually not explained to us) picks his interest... summing up, a pointless journey without a shore on the horizon so far. - fillers and bloat: I was kinda expecting that, we are talking here about 'wish fulfillment' kind of novel after all, on top of that it's posted on webnovel service, so what can I say? you can definitely find a gem on this site which doesn't need any cheap tricks to lengthen the story, sadly it's not one of them. - writing quality: I'm not a native speaker as you can probably glimpse from the review, so when I see some issues within the text, that probably needs fixing asap, and it also means that the story is probably written by someone non-native to the language... Your story really feels sometimes like a translation from a different language and that usually means issues with cases like: her/his; words repetition; lack of better fitting words (synonyms); and finally there is also issue with action - it often narrows to: "he did that, and then that, and that happened", it just seems like a bit stale script of action, you could make it more vivid - rather than a simple description of it, let us know about it though the eyes of the character, let us feel how he figures it out, i.e: ("Falling back, he heard a crack, after a moment he started to feel a growing pain in his right arm, suddenly he realized that it can't be moved below the elbow... trying to not lose his eyes from the target yet still in need to figure out what's going on with it, he gambled and made a brief look, the view made him froze, for a moment his brain couldn't process the fact why his hand is bent in the wrong way..."). It's often better to give a reader a pretty obvious description and a vivid one on top of the situation, through the eyes of the actor, rather then just tell a bland sentence: 'He fell back, and broke his arm.' My suggestion would be to at least fix the issue with POVs, I get what you are trying to do and as much as it kind of works it also makes a read really annoying and tbh negative outweighs the positive you get from this process, especially when your viewer base is reading single or two chapters at a time. In most cases where you did it, it's actually pointless to split POV, since two chapters later you are going back to it, to continue the situation, and in the span of these 3-4 chapters actors/actions of both doesn't meet nor conflict with each other, why would you split them then? wouldn't it be better to deliver 2 chapters of POV a), follow it with 2 chapters of POV b) and in the 5th one have the planned 'crossover'? atm your story is really difficult to read unless you stock pile the chapters, ofc other solution to this issue would be a longer chapters, but let's just assume for the argument sake that the length and release rate is not possible to modify. I'd like to say one more thing here based on my experience in reading and probably it'll say something about my character, so I enjoy a well written story as everyone do, I really like a good twists, and all of those other writing procedures, but if any of that for some reason produces also a bad one along with it... it might make me drop the story, and I'm not talking here about a plot (yet it also can be counted in, i.e: on screen 'rape' in story is often a drop for a lot of readers). So a good outcome might make me want to read your story more, but in the end I'll still be here, but the bad outcome might make me drop it completely (especially when it builds up and at some point I can't take it anymore), so it should be pretty obvious what is the desired outcome here, I'd rather skip a good one to also skip a bad one which in the end has a bigger overall effect than the first one.