Bab 2: Chapter 2: Confession
Saturday
Do I really have to? I guess so, I agreed to talk to him so there's no turning back.
(5:12 PM) Jason: Where you at? I'm at the coffee shop near the mall.
Unfortunately, dad is still not home so I had no choice but to commute and take a taxi. I don't wanna reply to him so I just went straight to our meeting place.
As we went down the road I saw someone familiar, someone, I used to know, someone I used to be with.
It was Jessica Caulfield, my ex-best friend.
You thought ex-boyfriend, eh?
We used to be friends since elementary, kinda like a low-key childhood friend but paused in high school when she knew that Jason likes me. Yes, that's the exact reason why. She's really pretty, to be honest, much prettier than me I suppose. She's blonde, tall, and she's also a cheerleader. She's also absolutely voluptuous, all the curves, from head to toe. But, I just don't know why she acts like that. She likes Jason so much, they knew each other since childhood. But Jason had to limit their friendship since he already treats Jessica as his sister. And right now she's talking to her boyfriend. And - is she crying? Well, it kinda seems like it. Problems about their relationship, probably. No wonder why since her boyfriend is Steve Anderson, a handsome and somehow muscular school athlete that made him popular with girls, which is obviously a playboy.
I just looked around, trying not to think about them.
Like duh.
And I finally arrived at our meeting place, at a classy café. At only one glimpse, I already saw Jason doing something on his laptop and wearing headphones. I went to his table and approached him behind.
"Hey, is this seat taken?"
"Nah, I'm still single," he said without looking back at me.
He probably misheard what I said and I'm trying not to laugh. I tried poking his back and then he looked back in shock.
"Oh, Liss you're here," he said and quickly stood up and removed his headphones. "Oh." he went around the table and offered a seat for me. "Go, sit," he said.
"Okay, thanks," I said as I sat down.
He also sat down and just stared at me like he hasn't seen me for years.
"So, now what? What's up?" trying to break the awkward silence.
"Oh, about that, uhh - we'll talk about that later," he said. "Waiter!" then the waiter approached him.
"What do you want, Liss?" he asked.
"Oh, Uhm...I don't...really...drink...coffee," I murmured. "Uhh - do you guys have tea?" I asked the waiter.
"Yes ma'am. We have green, white, oolong, and black tea ma'am," he said then smiled proudly.
"Ohh, that's nice. I guess I'll just have a green tea," then I smiled back. "And oh yeah, how much will it be?"
"No no no, just add it to my bill please," Jason said to the waiter, and the waiter is now confused for real.
"Okay, just add it to his bill then. Thanks," I said.
"Okay ma'am, I'll be right back," the waiter said then already walked away.
"I told you it's my treat right?" he said as he glared at me and gave me a gaze of dismay.
"Okay, okay. Sorry? Alright?" I said sarcastically then I looked at my side then rolled my eyes secretly.
"Here you go ma'am, anything else?" the waiter said as he came back.
"That's all, I guess. Thanks," I said then he already went back to the counter with a smile.
I looked at Jason and he seems pretty busy about something. Invited me to hang out, doesn't even talk to me properly, and just doing some shit on his laptop.
Great, McKenley...
"What are you up to?" I asked then took a sip of my tea.
"Uh, yeah. Just the reviewers for the upcoming exam."
"Wow, as if you literally read them," I air quoted.
"Psh," Then he closed his laptop. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that... Where were we again?" he asked then leaned on the chair in a comfortable position, a feel-at-home position.
"Uhh, the reason why you invited me to...hang out?" I said then raised my eyebrows.
"Yeah there's something I wanna talk about with you, or more like to clarify, I guess," he said while avoiding eye contact with me as if it's something personal and stuff.
"Uhh, okay?" I said then gave him a confused look "What is it then?"
"Actually it's about you - I-I mean us..." he said.
He took a deep breath "You know I'm serious about my feelings for you right? And I still love you even though you keep pushing me away."
I just stared at him cuz I really don't know what to say, I still like him though. But I don't know if I could already handle a relationship. But, what if I was wrong? What if it's better to live with the truth? But I also don't want to get hurt. I also don't want him to get hurt either.
About what? Alissa?
"I like you too, Jason. But I can't. We can't..." I said.
"What are you so afraid of?" He said in a quavering tone.
"The people, Jason. The people around us. Or maybe even the world itself. We just can't be together. Just accept the fact that the world hates us when we're together like it's actually our fate. We've crossed paths but we have different stops." I said while wiping my eyelids.
"Why do you always think hypothetically? Why don't you just trust me? Why don't we trust each other? You always act like you just knew me yesterday. I've known you for almost 4 years Liss, but I don't know how much you know me." he said.
It's weird, we haven't been in a serious relationship together but we talk like we we're. Like we've been together for years, as a couple.
"No, Jason. Just like what I said, everyone hates us when we're together. Just treat us like oil and water, we can be together but we'll never mix together. Maybe because we're not destined for each other..."
"Why can't we just work it out?" he said then held my hand on the table and he looks like he's about to cry.
Gawd, Alissa! But he looks so cute when he's like that though, absolutely.
"It will never work out, for now, Jason. You're acting so desperate."
"It's just because I lo-"
I pulled my hands away "I literally cannot stand you right now. I totally regret hanging out with you today," I said as I stood up.
"Where are you going, Liss?"
I went outside the cafe already and left him in there then walked to the park near the beach. Along the way, I saw an ice cream truck and bought ice cream. I walked to the edge of the beachside and sat there while watching the sunset. Still thinking about my sister Rebecca and about Jason. I don't know what to do. I stayed there for a while and finished eating my ice cream. And someone just suddenly sat beside me, and yeah.
It was Jason.
"I knew you'd go here like you always used to when you have problems and stuff. Wait, do you have a problem? Oh, yeah right... It's me." he then grinned and shook his head.
"What do you care? And why are you following me? Stalker?" I said while playing with my hair.
"Hey hey, don't talk to me like that. You agreed to hang out with me so you're stuck with me today," he said proudly.
"And so what? What're you gonna do?" I said and raised an eyebrow.
He just shrugged his shoulders, "Well?"
"I technically don't understand how you could manage to agree to hang out with someone and not talk to them, is that a skill of yours?" he said.
"Says the guy who was busy on his laptop earlier?" I said sarcastically.
"Well, it's not that I literally agreed to hang out so Nah," I added then rolled my eyes discreetly.
And here goes the awkward silence.
"I don't want to rush you or anything and I just wanted to tell you that I am here no matter what, as your best friend. If that's better, then I'll keep it that way," he said.
"But awhile ago, you said that you like me too. I just don't understand why can't we just work it out? Together..." he said while staring at the sunset.
He looks so good today. I don't know why I'm being such a brat. Well, I ain't. I was just telling the truth...
"I-I just don't know, okay? I don't know what to do, Jason," I said then also stared at the sunset. "Maybe I just got used to you," then I looked down on my feet. "And we can't be together..."
A car suddenly honked behind us...and it's my dad.
Again...
"Mr. Doug!" Jason said as he saw my dad.
"Hey there, love birds! Whatcha doin' out there?" he said and went out of the car to approach us.
"It's getting late - oh, did I just interrupt something?" he said while making a judgy face.
"No dad, come on," I stood up and pulled my dad's hand. "Why are you here anyway?"
"I'm just going home from work and I recognized your hair while I was driving so," dad said.
"We're gonna go ahead, McKenley. See ya," I said then pulled dad's hand.
"Text me when you get home," said Jason then pointed at his phone.
"Don't worry, she will," dad said sarcastically.
And we got in the car heading back home. As soon as we got home I already changed my clothes, laid down to bed, and texted Jason.
(7:49 PM) Me: I'm sorry, I just can't...
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