Bab 11: Between Two Worlds
Amara drove in silence, her hands shaping the steering wheel as she took the well-known roads to her sister's home. Farida had insisted that Amara needed support from someone she could trust completely after Daniel had stormed out of the villa earlier, leaving her shaken.
There was only one person who fit that description, Ada.
Ada was everything that Amara was not, bold, unflinching, and unapologetically honest. As the older sister, she had always been a confidant and protector to Amara, imparting wisdom that was sometimes brutally honest but highly effective. Their conversation in recent times had not been much, marital issues had consumed Amara while Ada had been busy with her career and family commitments. Tonight however, Amara needed her sister.
As she drove into Ada's driveway, memories rushed back childhood moments of whispered secrets and shared laughter, disputes that ended in hugs, and the unconditional love that had seen them through life's storms.
Amara exited the car, gravel crunching under her feet. She paused at the door, hovering her finger over the bell. Could she really pour all that onto Ada? Would her sister grasp the knot of feelings and secrets she'd soon unveil?
Before she could knock the door was opened and in the open door stood Ada, her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.
"Amara, I was just in the process of dialing your number. You have been mute for some time now. What about?"
Amara managed a weak smile. "I need to talk to you. It's... important."
Ada stepped aside, relief softening her features. "Come in. I just made some tea."
The living room was warm with the fragrance of freshly prepared ginger tea. Amara sat on the comfortable sofa, cradling the warm mug Ada had handed her. It was a deep breath, and she didn't know where to start.
"Start from the beginning," Ada said, sinking into the armchair opposite her. "And don't hold back. I can tell this is serious."
The words came out like water bursting from a broken dam. Amara narrated it all, the estrangement from Daniel, the rapidly growing bond with Farida, the anonymous messages, and the confrontation at the villa. She hesitated for a moment only while describing her feelings for Farida, expecting Ada's reaction.
To her surprise, Ada listened in silence, her expression unreadable. When Amara finally finished, her tea had gone cold and her throat was dry.
Ada leaned back and tapped her fingers on the armrest, "So let's see if I understood you correctly. Your marriage isn't going well, you have come to fall in love with your best friend, and someone is threatening you with this information?"
Amara nodded, her cheeks burning. "That's the gist of it."
Ada let out a long sigh. "Amara, you've always been the cautious one, the peacemaker. But this is messy, even for you."
Amara's heart sank. She had expected judgment, but hearing it from Ada was more painful than she had expected. "None of this was supposed to happen. I kept trying to hold everything in place, but now it's all falling apart."
Ada leaned forward, her eyes sharp. "Look, I don't care about your judgment. What I care about is your happiness. But you have to determine what that looks like because right now you're living in limbo. You can't keep straddling two worlds."
Amara's voice cracked as she said, "I don't know what to do, Ada. If I leave Daniel, then I'm a failure. If I pick Farida, then everyone we know will hate us. And the person who is threatening us, I can't stop them."
Ada reached out and took Amara's hand. "Now, let me tell you. You've been dedicating your life to others for quite a long period. What do you desire? Disregard the expectations, judgments and threats. What would make you happy?"
The question lingered in the air, dense and unanswered. Amara looked into her sister's eyes for answers but found only the excruciating burden of her own uncertainty.
"I don't know," she said. "I feel like I'm being torn in two. One half wants to clutch the life built with Daniel, though it's falling apart; the other half... well, it comes alive when I'm with Farida."
Ada nodded slowly. "That's a truth you have to face, Amara. And once you accept it, you have to take responsibility for it. There is no turning back once that choice is made."
Ada stood and paced the room with a frowning forehead. "Let's consider the consequences, Amara. If you leave Daniel, it's not going to be just the divorce. There will also be societal backlash, family drama, and financial implications. Are you prepared for that?"
Amara bit her lip. "I don't know if I am. It's not just about me, it's about what people will say about our family, about you and Mom."
Ada waved her hand as if to dismiss the idea. "Don't worry about me and Mom. We'll handle whatever comes our way. This is your life we're talking about, not ours. But you need to be ready for the fallout."
"And if I stay with Daniel?" Amara asked.
Ada sighed. "Then you have to let go of Farida. Completely. No more lingering feelings, no more secret meetings. You can't rebuild your marriage while keeping one foot out the door."
Amara's chest tightened at the thought. Could she really walk away from Farida? Could she bury those feelings and pretend they didn't exist?
"And what about the threats?" Amara asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "If I leave Daniel, whoever is behind this might escalate. If I stay, they might expose everything anyway."
Ada returned to her seat, and her face was grave. "That's the wild card in all this. You have to figure out who's behind this and why. Until that is, you're exposed no matter what decision you make."
The sisters sat wordless for a minute, the enormity of the situation pressing down on them. At last, Ada spoke again, her voice slightly softer.
"Amara, I realize this is pretty impossible, but you are stronger than you think. You have lived in the shadows way too long hiding your true feelings and pretending to be someone else. Time to come into the light, even if it burns."
Amara wiped a tear. "What if I choose wrong?"
Ada smiled faintly. "There's no perfect choice, only the one that feels right for you. Whatever you decide, you'll find a way to move on. And I'll be here, no matter what."
Amara nodded, her despair momentarily giving way to a flicker of gratitude. "Thank you, Ada. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You aren't alone in this," Ada said, hugging her sister. "But it's on you."
---
As Amara drove away from Ada's house later that night, her head was spinning with all the thoughts. Ada had spoken words that brought seeds of courage and clarity but also made her confront the hard realities of her life.
She couldn't stay in the in-between, caught up in two worlds. A decision was to be made, and that time was coming close.
It was only when she had driven back to the highway that her phone beeped again with a new message. She peered at the screen, and her heart sank as she deciphered the words:
"Tick-tock, Amara. Your time is running out."
She had her hands tightening on the steering wheel, and for the first time in weeks she felt a kindle of anger in her belly. Whoever made this was not just an annoyance in her life but also they did something more, made it such that she cannot lie to herself.
And Amara was finally ready to fight back.
Amara stepped into her apartment and closed the door softly behind her. The silence of the room was a heavy cloak around her. Her words with Ada replayed in her head like an unpausable movie reel. It had been a relief finally to let out all those words, to share the mess of her heart's secrets.
She leaned against the door and exhaled shakily. The invisible weight of her decisions, pressed on her like an invisible hand tightening around her chest. Ada had been kind, her eyes full of understanding and a sadness Amara couldn't quite place. But her words had been sobering, a reminder that this crossroads was hers alone to navigate.
As she entered the living room, her heels clicking lightly on the floor, she went over to the couch. It was for a moment that she realized to what extent her home had become a reflection of her life which was neat and organized on the face but hollow and void of warmth inside.
Ada had been clear in her advice: "Find out what you want, Amara. Not what society wants, Daniel wants, or even Farida wants. What do you want?"
But that question was not as simple as it sounded. What did she want? Freedom? Love? Happiness? Could she even see those things anymore, or had she long ago convinced herself that she was divorced from them?
Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, jolting her out of her thoughts. For a second she hesitated, anger twisted her stomach. Another anonymous message? Another threat?
She lifted the phone, her hands unsteadily trembling a little. This was not an unknown number. It was Farida.
Farida: "Are you okay? I've been thinking about you the whole night.'
Amara stared at the message, her heart tightening. She wanted to respond, to tell Farida everything, to spill the strength that Ada's advice had stirred inside her. But the words didn't come.
She did not, instead, she set the phone down and reclined on the couch, shutting her eyes. Even then, she could hear Ada's voice, strong yet tender: "You have to stop running, Amara. From the truth, from your heart, from yourself. If you don't stop it, someone else will decide for you."
She felt the vibration of a call on her phone. It was Daniel. Amara looked at the screen, her pulse racing. She had not seen him since the confrontation at the villa and she was not sure that she was ready to face him yet.
In a short while the ringing stopped and a voicemail notification popped up. She pressed play, her heart thumping as she prepared to hear his voice.
"Amara, it's me." Daniel's voice was calm but overlaying it was an edge of something she couldn't quite place. Perhaps it was sadness or maybe resignation. "I just wanted to say... I'm sorry for how things ended. I shouldn't have walked out on you the way I did."
There was a pause and she heard him inhale deeply before he spoke again. "I know we need to talk, but really, there's so much I've been feeling, so much thinking it's been too much. I drove out of town to get some space from it all. I'll be back tomorrow evening. We should take care of this, alright?"
With the end of the message Amara was left alone, and sat motionless with the phone still in her hand. His words settled over her like a heavy blanket at the end of all things.
Tomorrow evening.
The clock was ticking.
She stood and walked to the window, looking out at the city lights. Somewhere out there, Farida was probably pacing her own apartment, waiting for a reply that Amara couldn't give. And Daniel... Daniel was getting ready for a conversation that could either shatter or salvage their marriage.
This was the first time in weeks that Amara actually saw how deep her trouble was. She was walking amidst two worlds, one on each side that were dragging at her heart like a tug of war. To choose one would be to lose the other, and there is no way that she will decide and hurt no one.Running was no longer an option.
Her only choice now was to accept the truth, however painful or messy that might be.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone