Bab 4: You have to want this.
The bell to signify the end of World History ended, and the students eagerly made their way to the door. Perse hung back, showing no rush to pack her things or exit the classroom. She wanted to talk to Professor Morgan and avoid Maya and Asher, who were clearly in no rush to leave either as they were both staring at her.
She sighed inwardly when she saw Maya stand up and approach her. She knew it wasn't just because she wanted to hang out at the mall. By how hard her stilettos rang on the floor, she knew she was going to complain about something.
"What the hell was that?!" she asked angrily, rather loudly that Perse feared Professor Morgan would hear. She looked up at him, and when she saw his attention on them, gave him a nervous smile to communicate that everything was okay. Professor Morgan gave her a small understanding smile as he proceeded to pack his things and leave.
"What the hell was what?"
"You being 'Miss know-it-all' again after we had a lengthy conversation about it just last week,"
"It doesn't count as being 'Miss know-it-all' if the entire class doesn't know anything," she answered, in the sweetest voice she could master just so it didn't sound malicious.
"And ignoring me when I called you to sit beside me?!" Maya shrieked irritated.
"I didn't ignore you. I told you that I'm more comfortable sitting in the back. Plus making someone switch seats just so I could sit there was unnecessary."
"Making me make someone switch seats was not comfortable enough for you?"
"I didn't make you make anyone do anything M," Perse countered, speaking softly like one would a stubborn child. Maya has always had a childlike need to argue. And she's hardly ever wrong. Coming up with an answer to her questions is considered a direct challenge in her book. And that was something she didn't take lightly.
"So it's my fault for caring about my friend? Are you blaming me for this?" Maya placed a hand dramatically on her chest, feigning a hurt expression as she looked at her friend like she had just been punched in the gut.
If she said yes, Maya would go on a dramatic rant about how Perse thinks she's better than everyone and hence, thinks that no friend is good enough for her. If she answered no, then Maya would say that she was the one in the wrong for thinking she was better than everyone. They had been here before. This dialogue doesn't end with Perse being right, and she knew that. So she settled on being the bigger person like she's always had to be when dealing with Maya.
"I am sorry Maya. What I did was inconsiderate and unfair to you. I shall aim to do better in the future. Do you forgive me?" If the apology sounded scripted, it's because it was. Perse had written it for occasions like this. And it had always worked.
Maya gave her a skeptical look before breaking out with a smile.
"You're lucky I'm so forgiving!" she giggled. The situation diffused as fast as it began. "So... The party tomorrow___"
"What party?" Perse temporarily stopped packing her things to look up at Maya. Maya smiled at her before positioning the chair in front of her properly and sat, facing a seemingly confused Perse.
"The party of the month___ Obviously!" she let out an excited shriek, then suddenly stopped when she realized that Perse wasn't quite showing the same enthusiasm. "Hold up. Don't tell me you forgot about it,"
That was a trick question. Perse knew there was only one right answer for it.
"Of course not," she answered_ so defensively that she had to clear her throat to return her voice to normal. "How could I forget it when it's going to be such a rave?! I just got a bit confused for a moment,"
"Confused by those crazy thick books you read-undoubtedly!" Perse didn't take offense to Maya's words. The girl seemed to have a thing against big books... and just books in general. "So the squad is meeting at your place at 7?"
In as much as Maya made it sound like a question, Perse knew that she didn't have an option. This was part of her punishment for missing lunch with the squad on squad day. And this was the mildest one yet___ and all she could do was endure it and take it like a champ.
"Sure," she smiled at her.
"And then we can___" Maya's voice strayed as her gaze went to the person who had just joined their small table.
With all the confidence in the world, Asher grabbed a seat and moved it to Perse's table, settling between Maya and Perse. If Perse wasn't going to talk to him because he screwed up, then he had every intention of making it as uncomfortable for her as he could___ until she was left with no other option but to talk to him.
Maya stared at Asher in confusion. Her eyes relaying all the questions her mouth couldn't. She stared at Perse like she could give her answers to her unasked questions, but Perse didn't know what to say.
Perse glared at Asher. If looks could kill, he'd have been dead already. What game was he playing now? What did he want from her? To get a rise from her? To provoke her? To enrage her even more? Asher saw her emotions stirring in her eyes as she stared at him. She didn't bother masking her annoyance behind a fake smile like she had at the cafeteria. She was pissed and she wanted him to know it. But she still wasn't going to talk to him.
"Can we help you?" Maya broke the uncomfortable silence. Her tone was unusually polite.
"You can't," Asher answered with a hint of arrogance, before turning his attention towards Perse. "It's your help I want,"
An awkward silence followed as Perse and Asher glared at each other. Maya nervously cleared her throat as she flicked her gaze from Perse to Asher and back. She could feel the palpable tension in the room. It was hard to ignore.
"I'm uhhh___ going to give you space then," she said as she quickly gathered her things and left in a hurry. Perse stared at her friend as she left the room. How could she just up and leave? And what, just because Asher said so? She made a mental note to talk to her about it later.
"So... when do we begin our tutoring?" Asher asked, and Perse found herself scoffing at that. She wanted to retort, more than anything. But that was probably just what Asher wanted, and she wasn't about to give it to him.
The smirk on Asher's face fell when all that Perse did was stare blankly at him, not saying a word. He liked how she challenged him. He inwardly got alarmed when she suddenly stood up, grabbed her bag, and sashayed away.
'Not again. Not this time.' Asher didn't even think about it as he grabbed her arm and pulled her back, pushing her rather roughly against the desk behind them. His face inches from hers, as he trapped her between the desk and his large frame. He glared down at her surprised face as she made an effort to move back, despite there not being any space.
"What? You're not going to give me a chance to explain before you just walk away without saying anything?" his voice had momentarily lost its usual arrogance and playfulness, putting Perse on edge.
"If I wanted an explanation, I'd have asked for it." She bared her teeth at him.
"Well maybe you ought to___"
"Why should I Asher?" She was angry- and it was for that reason that Asher didn't bother correcting her on his name. "Why should I let you explain? So you can feed me excuses as to why you failed to show up? Why you stood me up?! I looked like an idiot just sitting there__ waiting__ like someone who had nothing better to do. Do you know how many things I had to drop when I agreed to tutor you?! And what for Ash__? So you could throw it away and go play Macho Man with Josh?! Figure out who the 'Alpha Male' is?"
"That's not what happened!" Asher's voice sounded clipped. His grip on her arm tightened as he pulled her even closer to him. His cologne and a faint smell of cigarettes assaulted her nostrils as she strained her neck so she could look up at him. "Ask me what happened cheer squad,"
Something dangerous shone in his eyes when he spoke. Perse saw it, and it sent a chill down her spine. Swallowing suddenly became painful. Was this why people feared him? Was it because of how his dark eyes seemed to stare right through your soul? Or how dangerously low and rough his voice got when he got agitated? She was a bit scared to find out.
"I don't want to know what happened; because whatever it was, I'm sure you'd have found a minute to shoot me a quick text to tell me that you won't be able to make it if this was at all important!"
"Oh yeah sure. Next time, I'll just tell Josh 'Can you hold that punch for a second? I just have to text my tutor real quick to tell her I'll be late" sarcasm dripped off his voice.
"Stop trying to be a smart-ass Asher,"
"I thought you wanted a smart-ass,"
"I wanted a none jack-ass, none arrogant, none egotistical person who actually listens. Someone who doesn't think that the world revolves around him. Someone who will own up to their mistakes instead of trying to give excuses. Someone who wants to learn___" her voice softened, "___not someone who feels like he's being forced to learn. I can't help you if you don't want to be helped, Asher. It just doesn't work that way. You have to want this... Until then, I can't help you."
For the first time in a very long time, Asher didn't say a word... Not because he was he was too mad to. Not because he was coming up with ways to get revenge. Not because he was formulating a snarky rude comment in his head... but because he was genuinely speechless. He didn't know what to say to that. It almost sounded like Perse cared. He unconsciously let go of Perse's arm.
Perse wanted to shout at him, tell him to never try anything like that again. But between her hunger and being physically and mentally exhausted, she just couldn't find it in herself to... She didn't even want to try.
"You have to figure out why you want this__ if you want it at all. Look for me when you figure it out." And with that, Perse cast him one final look, before walking out of the classroom... this time without her cheerleader sashaying stunt... leaving him alone with his thoughts.
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