Bab 111: 31.Losing My Religion.
I had just finished loading my car, preparing for a driving trip. The air was filled with anticipation as I planned to simply drive around, with nothing particularly special in mind. Just as I was about to set off, Wulfe appeared next to me, his car flopping down beside mine.
He grinned and said, "How about India? It's been too long since I've been there. We could explore the country together."
I looked at him, a hint of skepticism in my eyes, and replied, "I'm fine. No need to babysit. You can go on missions. No need to get attached to me."
Wulfe's smile remained gentle as he looked at me and said, "It's too late for that, unicorn. I'm in this road trip with you, so let's just grin and bear it."
I rolled my eyes and reluctantly agreed. "Fine, we can go to India. But let's go somewhere else first and maybe get what we need. We can go through the portal room in one house in India where we will set off."
Wulfe nodded and said, "I haven't been on a road trip with you before, but this won't be the last, my unicorn."
I chuckled and warned him, "As you know, I have road rage, but I also love singing in the car. Brace yourself."
Wulfe grinned and replied, "Sounds good to me. Let's belt it out together, sing from the depths of our souls. We'll have fun, and to hell with the pack, let them survive without us. It's their loss."
His excitement for our trip was contagious, so I agreed. We would embark on a road trip, just the two of us, and India seemed like a great choice.
I pushed down my nagging conscience, and Wulfe added, "Oh, and let's not forget to take care of your programming. The one Salvatore implanted in your mind over the years. We need to address it."
Confused, I frowned and asked, "What programming?"
Wulfe's voice turned darker as he explained, "You feel guilty about this trip, don't you? As soon as you start planning things that would make it enjoyable for yourself, you feel guilty because the pack isn't here with you. You think you're doing this alone?"
I was taken aback, unsure of what to think or do.
Finally, I stammered, "But there's no programming. He removed it. I can go on missions, kill demons, and everything."
Wulfe shook his head solemnly and said, "No, it's much more insidious than that. It's subtle but powerful, deeply ingrained after years of manipulation. Breaking free from it won't be easy. You'll have to recognize the thought patterns he installed in you on your own."
I was flabbergasted, grappling with this new revelation.
"Programming about what?" I asked, my voice filled with uncertainty.
Wulfe looked me in the eye and replied, "You feel guilty about enjoying this trip because you believe you should be with the pack. It's a guilt that Salvatore implanted in you, and we have to address it."
I said, my voice carrying a hint of frustration, "Well, yeah, we do road trips in a pack, and it's a big deal. I have my private trips, my own roads, my own cars, and I'm just too stubborn to share. So yeah, I know I should behave a little more like an adult, but I'm not perfect."
Wulfe explained, his voice calm and reassuring, "That's because Salvatore has programmed you over the years to feel guilty anytime you have too much fun just for yourself. Probably because Mariella had been jealous about your happiness, and he did what Mariella asked. He's done it for a long time, in order to sink it in."
I fell silent, the weight of Damon's manipulative programming settling heavily on my thoughts. It felt so damn wrong, realizing that he had programmed me to feel guilty for enjoying my own life, but considering his morals and his willingness to do whatever Mariella asks, it wasn't a big surprise.
Wulfe continued, his voice filled with determination, "I will help where I can, but I need to teach you to be selfish. I need to teach you to find this pattern that stops you from enjoying yourself. So, my love, we have a lot of work ahead of us. And Damon can't say that he didn't mean it. He meant it alright, and it's painfully obvious. This has been done for a long time, many times, and on purpose. He's had a plan all along."
I sighed as I drove on, my mind racing to find a reason why he would do this. Of course, back in the day when Damien was around, but then again, we had a long, hard time after that, too. And if there were any good times, no wonder Damon programmed me over the years. He must have hated me, at least to some extent.
Wulfe spoke softly, trying to shed light on Damon's complicated feelings. "Damon's feelings for you are complicated. They always have been because he's never been free to love you. First, there was Damien, and then Mariella. He wants to hold on to his jealousy, even though he could easily let it go. It's just his misconception of love, that you need to have the other person and they can't have anyone else."
I quipped, a touch of bitterness in my voice, "You should go work in Mariella's business. You're good at relationship shit. I'm not. I'm too weird. Plus, I'm a pretender. It gives its own flare to things."
Wulfe laughed, his laughter filling the car. "We all pick up something here and there over the years. You are weird, I can give you that. But then again, who isn't?"
My hands squeezed the wheel, my focus on the road slipping as I absorbed this new revelation. It would take a lot out of me to fight against it, but with my rage and a good dose of pissed-offness, I knew I could endure.
I was not so much raging about other drivers as I was lost in thought, driving into Alabama Manor. The sun beat down on the car, casting a warm glow on the surrounding landscape. We had planned to stay here for a day or two, or maybe just a few hours, depending on various factors, before continuing our road trip into India. I had entrusted Wulfe with the task of being our navigator, allowing him to come up with our route while I took on the role of the driver. Along the way, we would make stops here and there, buying things and simply enjoying the journey.
I pushed aside thoughts of work, or the programming, refusing to let them consume me. If I dwelled on them too much, my rage would bubble to the surface, resulting in yet another time of unloading my rage with Magnum and Wulfe in the gym. But that was not what I wanted right now. I craved the freedom of the open road, the exhilaration of a road trip. I wanted to show Wulfe what this experience was all about.
As we finally arrived at Alabama Manor, a grand mansion stood before us. I felt a surge of excitement and anticipation. Wulfe, however, had a more practical mindset. He wasn't interested in buying new cars; he believed it was wiser to have a car with a locker system in case we encountered any unexpected situations. I respected his professionalism, for I shared the same mindset. It served as a reminder of the choices I had made in my life, and how they had led me to this point where a normal life seemed out of reach. But I had accepted it. I had come to terms with the fact that I was an adrenaline junkie, driven by the need to be a leader.
I entered the mansion, making my way to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. Wulfe, on the other hand, roamed around the house, his curiosity getting the better of him. I chuckled to myself as memories flooded in. In some ways, he reminded me of Mariella, Damon's counterpart. She, too, had a curious nature, always wanting to explore other houses. I couldn't help but miss those days, the freedom of my wings. But now, they served no purpose, as my children had them in other realms as their own homes. I had plenty of houses, but living in the past was not beneficial.
After devouring a satisfying meal, I ascended the stairs to one of the bedrooms. To my surprise, I found Wulfe sprawled out on my bed, his gaze meeting mine, a mischievous glint in his pale eyes. I let out a sigh, rolling my eyes playfully, and made my way to a nearby cabinet. Opening it, I retrieved my trusty travel bag.
Wulfe stood up, stepping closer to me, curiosity evident in his voice as he asked, "What's in the bag? Let me see!"
I replied, "It's my travel bag, filled with my music player, and a few essentials like sunglasses, scarves, makeup, and sun lotion. It's a special kind that suits me, protecting my skin and preserving my healing abilities."
Wulfe reached into my bag, his fingers brushing against the fabric as he plucked out my sunglasses. I could hear the faint rustling of the bag and feel the weight of his hand as he held onto them.
With a mischievous grin, he declared, "These are nice. I think I'll keep these ones."
I quickly snatched them back from him, the smooth texture of the frames cool against my fingertips, and retorted, "Nope, let's buy you your own. There's no need for you to become a Salvatore clone and try to take what's mine."
He pouted slightly and muttered, "But your stuff is cool."
Rolling my eyes, I closed my bag, satisfied that my music player still had battery life. I could even feel the slight weight of the charger inside, ensuring that it could be kept on all the time.
As I contemplated whether to take the convertible or SUV, Wulfe said, "We should see what we have in there. Of course, a convertible is fun to drive, but imagine the joy of having a private karaoke party in an SUV. Plus, it would offer a bigger locker system."
I glanced at him, his enthusiasm contagious, and wondered if we should wait. Perhaps we should inform the pack and see if they would want to join us on a road trip after the holiday. Maybe we should wait. However, my thoughts were interrupted as a sharp bolt of pain lanced through my head.
Wulfe explained, "I've put a little spell on you. Wherever that programming hits you, you will feel it. So fight it. This was the pack's choice to go away, to do whatever they pleased. Just think, it's early August now, and by the time they reach Ireland, it will be the start of November. Not long until Christmas. They're probably planning some pack celebration without you. Remember that. They made their choices, and they have to live with it. I won't let you suffer and be miserable and alone while they plan their perfect Christmas in Ireland. Remember, I am a stronger and more cunning telepath than Salvatore. I know."
I sighed, the bitterness of it all seeping into my bones. To think they would have Christmas without me, and for what reason? I had no idea. It was as if I wasn't worthy of Christmas. Fuck. This road trip would be perfect.
I looked at Wulfe and declared, "Screw them. Now you're about to see things that no one in the pack has ever seen. I'll introduce you to places where we can buy antique rugs and other treasures. These are my secret shops, never shown to the pack, and never will be."
Wulfe grinned and replied, "It's been a while since I've bought rugs, so I'm up for the challenge. Let's go shopping."
I said, "First we have to make travel food, and lunch so we can eat as we drive. Come on, let's go in the kitchen and have a little cook-off."
We entered the kitchen, the aroma of freshly baked snacks filling the air. The sizzle of meat on the stove and the sound of Wulfe's knife carving through it created a symphony of culinary delights. He was putting together sandwiches. As I baked batches of profiteroles, the sweet scent of vanilla wafted through the room. The sizzling of ham and the crackle of eggs cooking on the stove added to the ambience.
Wulfe brewed a pot of rich coffee, its aroma enticing us. The kitchen was filled with an array of snacks, tempting us to indulge in the flavors. Alongside the savory sandwiches filled with freshly cut meat, I prepared mouthwatering meat pies. As I melted different chocolates to create bonbons, I explained the art of chocolate-making to Wulfe, his eagerness evident in his eyes.
Wulfe said to me, as I had told him about cooking shows, "Someday my unicorn, we will have a marathon as we watch those shows, and have fun, just you and I in one nice bedroom flopped in bed and just watched them day after day. "
It was heartwarming that he wanted to spend time with me, and watch TV, just the two of us, and there was nothing planned behind it, just two creatures having a good time. As we worked together, I couldn't help but express my admiration for Wulfe.
"You know," I said with a smile, "you're an amazing guy, my true boyfriend."
He returned the smile but spoke huskily, "I haven't even kissed you properly yet, and I'm not sure if I ever will. What we have is perfect, and I'm not sure if we need to get physical."
I simply smiled, cherishing the bond we shared.
He understood me completely, accepting both my worst and my best. I shared the story of my cruise, recounting how Damon had seduced me throughout the trip just to gain access to my food. And, of course, I couldn't resist telling him about my silver madness.
Wulfe chuckled but declared, "If you ever experience silver madness, my lady, rest assured I won't be your victim."
I replied, "It's hard to explain. I can feel my hive in my mind, but I've never told Damon about it. I keep those memories locked away."
Wulfe explained, "That's because you have a primitive part in your vampire side, an ancestor of the real vampires. You're strong, evolved from that lineage. You are an example of what vampires could have become. I'm not sure why we didn't evolve further, why vampires became the beasts they are, but you, you're a true predator, an evolved queen, the most dangerous of them all."
I nodded, saying, "That sounds like me. I have to be the best, the most dangerous, the most evolved. I can't be like anyone else."
Wulfe smiled and replied, "You're my unicorn, rare and strong. Never forget that. One day, you'll teach me more about baking and such."
I let out a weary sigh, the weight of my past experiences heavy on my chest. As I recounted the infamous kitchen incident that caused Charles to explode, Wulfe chuckled, finding amusement in the chaotic memory. What was once a terrifying moment now held a glimmer of amusement, a testament to the passage of time and the perspectives it brings.
Surrounded by the tantalizing aromas and flavors of the kitchen, we prepared for an exciting road trip. In that moment, I realized that once again; I had gained a new understanding about my own life and abilities. I had believed myself to be stronger, and more resilient, but Damon had proven otherwise. He had manipulated and programmed me without remorse.
I shared with Wulfe the adventures Bridgette and I used to embark on, noticing a strange expression on his face. Perhaps he simply didn't want to hear about women having fun, so I decided not to mention our bedtime escapades. We had fun in the bedroom; she had first taught me just how good it can be with women, and I was thankful for that even though it had been a long time since she had made me forget her and what she taught, but in time memories came back.
When I told Wulfe about Bridgette and how she had been there for me since the second year, he listened intently, a smile playing on his lips. It was as if he had known her, or at least, that's how it seemed. There was always something that had bothered me, a question I never had the opportunity to ask. I wasn't even sure if Wulfe could answer it.
So, I mustered the courage and asked, "You know, Bridgette was the opposite force of the original wizard, but that wizard had a son. Why didn't Bridgette have any children? Did it give her more power?"
Wulfe's gaze met mine, and he spoke softly, "And how can you be sure that she had no children of her own?"
His expression held a hidden meaning, but I couldn't quite grasp it. I explained, "Well, I was the sole beneficiary of her will. She left everything to me, so I just assumed she had no children."
Wulfe remained silent, focusing on packing our lunch for the road. It was time for our drive, our road trip filled with singing, shopping, and exploring bazaars. It was time for me to embrace true happiness and joy, free from Damon's manipulative objectives.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone