Bab 12: Trying Not to Sleep

There was something Kael had never thought about until this moment.

All the creatures he had seen were once human, he was sure of that. But... what turned them into creatures? Who becomes a creature and according to what?

He had never questioned the answer to this question. It was just a small matter that had escaped his attention when he had given everything to survival. Or... not so small, perhaps.

The moment the flower in the woman's hands withered, he came to his senses. His thinking was back in his own hands, not controlled by anything. But... it was too late.

The woman's face had become ugly not because her expression had changed, no... it had indeed become ugly. Her whole body was trembling, her skin color was fading rapidly.

"A- Ahr... Aaaghhrr..."

She tried to scream, but each time, it sounded as if she was blocked at the last moment. It was only with the next thing that Kael really came to his senses this time.

The woman collapsed to the ground, barely able to stand with the support of her limbs. But her limbs were also changing. They were becoming thinner, as if... they were being forcibly extended. And it was clear from her face, from the sounds she was making, that something painful was happening.

'S- She's turning into a creature!'

Kael quickly took out his bag and put one of the bowls on the floor. He picked up his knife and plunged it back into the bowl of poison on the floor. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he had last done this, but he wasn't taking any chances.

The seconds filled with the woman's groans caused sweat to break out on his forehead. It was the first time he had ever seen someone turn into a creature, he wasn't sure how long the process took or when she would start attacking him. So he tried to be as fast as he could.

After only a few seconds he was finished. He turned towards her, gripping the knife tightly in his hand.

Her skin color had become very gray. Her height, previously quite short, was now approaching two meters. And she would reach it if her limbs grew any longer. And because of this, her clothes were beginning to tear slightly.

Kael ran towards her, closing the distance quickly. When he was right beside her, he stopped. She lifted her head slowly, barely looking at him.

The whites of her eyes were slowly turning red, and soon, her irises would be red and glowing. But... the owner of this body was still a human being. Her face still showed none of the emotionlessness of those creatures, she was even weeping at the unimaginable pain.

Kael hesitated for a moment, a brief moment really, but... his hands continued to shake.

He didn't enjoy killing people. He didn't enjoy killing anything. The reason he could be cold-blooded in the greenhouse and in that room on the first floor was because he was used to it, because of the adrenaline, and because he wanted to survive. But that didn't mean he enjoyed killing anything.

There was someone in front of him who would do anything to kill him in a few seconds, but the pain was so obvious... that he couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

It was at this moment that the maid's eyes caught sight of the knife clutched tightly in his hand. She didn't seem to realize that he was trembling, but... her eyes still widened.

"K- Kill..."

He couldn't find the strength to finish, the pain was really intense.

'Kill, huh...'

If he couldn't hear her tone of voice, if he couldn't see her, he might have thought that she was afraid of the knife in her hand, that she was telling him to die. But no, the situation was very different.

The woman was not looking at the knife with fear. Her eyes were widening not because she thought she was going to die. On the contrary, she... wanted to die. She didn't want to turn into a creature. And Kael... was well aware of that.

"I... apologize."

He gripped the knife in both hands, crouched over her. He squinted his eyes. He wanted not to look at her, to close his eyes and do what he was going to do, but... he didn't. He made direct, unblinking eye contact with her. If he was going to kill someone, he wasn't going to do it cowardly.

He raised the knife. There was no hesitation in the woman's eyes, which were almost completely red. She was practically begging him to continue.

Kael brought the knife down quickly.

The poisonous metal of the blade entered her chest. Her skin was not yet completely hardened, so the knife reached her heart without difficulty.

Blood oozed from between the woman's lips, she coughed up blood in a wheezing cough. The terror in her red eyes was replaced by a strange peace as the fear slowly faded.

Seconds passed, seconds in which the woman coughed incessantly. If he could, Kael would have liked to make it painless, but he had no idea how to kill someone painlessly. So, he chose the surest method to ensure her death. But to listen to her coughing up blood, to see the peace on her face, knowing how much pain she was in as she surrendered herself to death...

After a short time, the woman stopped completely. She was no longer struggling or coughing. She was just... motionless.

Kael removed his poisoned knife from her chest. As he slowly got off her, he took a few steps back and looked at her from a distance.

Her body was now a creature in every sense of the word. Her skin had darkened considerably, her eyes were red, though the glow had faded, and there were claws where her fingernails should have been. Her transformation was complete. But... she was already dead.

Kael tore his eyes away from her, took a deep breath in and out.

'Damn it.'

He thought nothing as he went back to the wardrobe. When he got into exactly the same position as a few minutes ago... he was silent. But then, he squinted, thinking of the snow-white flower he had seen before he killed her.

He had seen the same one in the greenhouse. But when he woke up... he had thought it was just a dream. He had never thought that it could be that flower that turned people into creatures.

He kept thinking.

He had seen the flower twice now. And both experiences had something in common. He was always either sleeping or almost asleep when the flowers appeared.

'So I'm not supposed to sleep. No, I'm not supposed to try to sleep at all.'

That was... a problem. He was overtired, he was going through things all the time. And mentally, he was not in a very good state. He could continue to resist sleep now, yes... but for how long? That's what he wasn't sure about.

How long did he have to endure? There was no answer to that question, at least not yet.

"Haaaaaah..."

And so began the minutes he would spend hiding in this room.

Kael never stopped thinking. He even scratched himself with one of the knives he hadn't poisoned to keep himself awake. He didn't sleep much right now, yes... But he didn't even want to think about sleeping. His ability to think was clouded when those white flowers appeared, so he constantly did things to keep himself completely awake.

The minutes passed one after another. Minutes of silence... of nothing happening. Every now and then, he would look at the woman's lifeless body. There was a tiny pool of blood around it because he had pierced her heart, but that was it. She was truly dead, not a problem for him.

When he looked back in front of him, he couldn't help thinking that his luck was changing. Since the greenhouse, he had been consistently unlucky, something was always happening to him. But, after the entrance hall, things had changed. If he was still alive... it was only because he was lucky. If the woman wasn't faster than him, for example... he was dead.

'Although... when I think about it, isn't it because I was unlucky in the first place?'

This... was a thought-provoking issue, actually. Was he lucky or unlucky? He continued to think, having found one more topic to dwell on to prevent sleep.

After a few more comfortable minutes of this... he was suddenly distracted.

His eyes widened. In the absolute silence, he tried to perceive what was happening. But... there was nothing.

'Am I being too paranoid?'

No matter how long he waited, no matter how much he focused... there was nothing.

Still, he did not reassure himself. He preferred to remain constantly vigilant, and so he did.

After a short while... he suddenly realized that he was just sitting where he was. No, not a normal sitting... A 'sitting' where he was completely detached from the world, without thinking about anything.

'Am I... dozing off without realizing it?'

He grasped the knife in his hand and made another tiny scratch on his right arm. He watched his own blood flow through the scratch, reaching the other scratches. Pain was one of the things that kept him from sleeping, yes... But for some reason, looking at the new scratch... he couldn't feel anything.

'Oh, no... No...'

He shook his head from side to side. Gritting his teeth, he rubbed his eyes incessantly with his hands, refusing to fall asleep.

'Don't sleep... Don't sleep... Don't sleep...'

He was fine just a few minutes ago, what had happened to make him feel so... sleepy? Was he more tired than he thought?

'Resist... You can resist...'

He paused for a moment.

'No, you will resist! You have no choice!'

But then... in the midst of all this silence and fatigue... he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

It was a snow-white flower.