Unduh Aplikasi
90% The Pain of Being Empty / Chapter 9: Dread

Bab 9: Dread

"The class is dismissed. Cora and Arthur, you two come with me" (Vander)

Teacher Vander was stunned for a couple minutes but when he reacted, he was decisive.

We left our class and soon we arrived in front of another classroom. Teacher Vander came in and talked to that class's teacher before bringing two students, Natalie and Leilane. He then said, "come with me" and started guiding us to where I assume to be the principal's office.

During the journey everyone was in silence.

I had my usual expressionless face while Cora had a sad but relieved face with a hint of fear, and both Natalie and Leilane had fearful expressions.

Soon, we entered the principal's office.

When the principal put his eyes on us, more specifically me, he turned his head towards teacher Vander and said with a deep frown.

"Teacher Vander what matter brings you here?"

Hearing the principal's question, Vander had a helpless expression.

"Cora, can you play the audio?"

Cora promptly took her phone and played the audio.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"..." x5

Everyone was in silence.

The principal's expression was very bad, his reaction was even worse when he thought that I attacked these girls.

"So, are you saying that you three set Arthur up, and he is innocent?"

The principal asked Cora, which made her tremble, but she still answered.

"Yes."

"Why?" (Principal)

Cora took a deep breath and started to spill the beans.

"We had different reasons. I did it because I envied how Arthur was so happy with the other four girls, I wanted them to leave him, then I would approach him and make him mine.

The reason Natalie and Leilane did it was because when they confessed their feelings to Arthur they were rejected. If they couldn't be with him, they would isolate him from everyone else."

Now I was really pissed.

So are you saying that you guys fucked with my life because you didn't want to see me with other people???

Bitches!!!

My face, which remained expressionless for a long time, distorted for a moment before going back to normal.

Fuck it, I don't care anymore.

"So why are you confessing what you did?"

After many seconds of silence, the principal asked another question to Cora.

"I am doing this because I failed to complete my goal. And also, because I feel guilty when I look at the current Arthur and compare with how he was in the past."

After hearing Cora's answer, the principal looked at me.

"Arthur, I apologize for being wrong about you, but there is nothing we can do about the past. Now I will leave the choice for you, what do you want to do about this situation?"

At this moment everyone was looking at me, waiting for my answer.

"Just let them give compensation to my parents, I don't really care about the rest."

I said that in an indifferent voice, then I turned around and left.

It is a good thing that I brought my backpack with me, that way I can go straight home.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Today I decided to cut my exercises, for some reason I wasn't in a good mood.

Since I arrived at home, I started to feel weird. My hands were shaking, and my body was heavy. Contrary to what I usually do, my eyes were going everywhere around.

As I opened the door to my room, I finally realized what I was feeling.

Fear.

I was afraid of myself.

Now that my name is clean there will be no more nuisances in my way. It means that now I can be happy again.

Of course, the happiness I am talking about doesn't involve interacting with people.

I feel like If I were to play games, read novels or Mangas, or watch TV shows, I would be able to enjoy it again.

That's very dangerous.

I can't let myself fall into the abyss called happiness again. If I were to fall into it, I will seriously hurt myself when I reach the bottom.

I cannot afford to be broken again.

I lay down in my bed and closed my eyes, I hoped that this fear together with my ability to feel happy would disappear next time I opened my eyes.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

------Arthur---------

---Arthur----Wake----

I vaguely hear someone's voice calling me.

As I opened my eyes the voice's owner, and its content was revealed.

"Arthur, wake up…" (Leah Akai and Alex Akai)

It was my parents who were waking me up.

'How inconvenient.'

"Thank goodness, how are you feeling Arthur?" (Leah)

Hearing her question, I was stunned for a moment.

For over a year they were hurting me deeply without any consideration for me and my feelings. And only now they want to know how I am.

What do they think I am?

Usually I would just ignore them, but when I heard their words, I just couldn't stay shut.

"I am feeling amazing. Now get out of here."

My voice was mixed with sarcasm and anger, my facial expression right now should also align with my words and feelings.

Hearing my answer my parents looked at each other with a sad expression. They then bowed to me and left the room, at least they seemed to have understood the meaning of my words.

Just when I was adjusting my body to come back to sleep, another intruder invaded my room.

Her black hair was a little messy and her eyes were swollen, but it didn't affect her beauty.

She came closer to me and fell to her knees, she then bowed till her head hit the floor.

"Onii-chan, I am sorry for everything I did, please forgive me. You can punish me in any way, I will do anything you say."

I looked at her figure doing dogeza and I lost control of my rage.

"I will never forgive you for what you did. You were the person I trusted the most and you betrayed me without thinking twice. You ignored my feelings and mercilessly destroyed my world. You don't deserve my forgiveness and don't deserve to be my family. I hate you."

Saying what I wanted to say, I lay down in my bed and closed my eyes.

I was burning with anger, and I didn't know what I would do if I kept looking at the source of my anger.

As I was trying to calm down and rest, the situation suddenly changed.

I felt considerable weight over my waist, but before I could react, I felt someone hugging me.

My body started to tremble violently as I opened my eyes.

Then I felt complete dread.


next chapter

Bab 10: I will never believe you

The scene I saw in front of my eyes together with the warm embrace I was feeling, made me feel pure dread.

Lily was hugging me tight and was crying in my chest.

Seeing that scene my pupils dilated and I instinctively tried to throw Lily away from me.

But I failed. No matter how much strength I tried to gather, I just couldn't use any force against her.

"Onii-chan—I don't want this, I can't live without you. I am an idiot. I did many horrible things in the name of forcing you to admit things you never did. I am the worst sister, the worst human being. I know there is no forgiveness for what I did, but even if that's the case, even if I can only leave you alone I can't do it! I can't leave you alone, because I love you."

During my state of dread I heard every single word my sister said.

Although my dread became stronger as I heard the words she uttered, it also ignited unprecedented rage from me. I don't even know how I still can think in this situation.

"You little bitch! You say what you want and do whatever you want, do you think you can do anything and get anything?! Go fuck yourself! Now get the hell out of me and never look at me again!"

"No-No-NO! I am not letting go of you even if I die! Don't matter what you say, I will not back down!"

Did you ever feel like the world is ending? That's how I am feeling right now.

The sense of dread I am feeling is so strong that I am starting to lose my senses. I also feel like if I give up in resisting this fear, it will devour me.

I am afraid.

I don't want this.

Please leave me alone.

I felt the world start to darken

'I can't– can't'

But there is one thing I am sure of

'Gi–gi–giv–ve'

I will never surrender

U–p…

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Slowly I open my eyes.

In the beginning my eyes were very lazy, but suddenly the memories of yesterday surged and my eyes opened wide.

I sat down in my bed and looked around the room. After making sure the room was safe, I started to think in depth about what happened yesterday.

'What is happening to me?'

'Why did I feel so much fear?'

'Why was I unable to use any strength against Lily?'

I wanted to calm down and find out what happened to me by understanding what I felt yesterday.

But first of all, I needed to drink some water.

I went downstairs and just as I was passing by the living room I saw a scene that made my scalp go numb.

Four girls were sitting on the sofa. At this moment they were looking at me with pitiful gazes, it was disgusting.

To nobody's surprise they are Area, Lyly, Ellie and Yue.

I didn't have time to worry about water anymore, as soon our eyes met I turned around and quickly walked towards my room.

What a joke, I couldn't even handle Lily, let alone the four of them.

As soon as I entered my room I closed and locked the door.

'What the hell are they doing here?'

No.

It is more important to know what is going on with me first, I don't want to pass out because of fear again or be unable to use any force.

As I started to meditate and finally calmed down my mind, the door in my room opened.

And there were the four girls who I hate the most.

I gritted my teeth when I saw what they were doing.

"What the hell are you doing here? Get out before I kill you all."

Their body started to tremble but they didn't back an inch, they stayed in the dogeza position.

"Arthur, please give us one last chance. We love you." (Aria)

"We apologize for everything, we deeply regret our actions." (Ellie)

"We don't deserve to be with you, but we insist on being with you." (Yue)

"I will say it again, it doesn't matter what punishment you give us, we will do it." (Lily)

The more I hear them, the more my feelings go out of control. My anger and hate grows to an unprecedented level, if not because of the fear inside of me I would already have killed all of them due to pure rage.

I stop thinking straight and start to voice my thoughts and feelings out loud.

"Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! You all are full of bullshit!"

"You love me? You want to be with me? Where were you when I was suffering for over a year?! Oh, I remember, You were fucking cursing me and slapping me in the face!"

"You are all fucking bitches! You are heartless, idiot, cruel, vicious and demonic!"

"Why are you crying?! What I just said can't compare to what you all did to me!"

I was at the end of my wits.

How can such a shameless human being exist?

As I was preparing for the second round, the girls began first.

"I know! I know it all! But– but we can't change the way we feel! I would do anything to be by your side!" (Ellie)

"Onii-chan, I know I am the worst idiot in existence, that's why I decided to only believe in you from now on!" (Lily)

"We brutally destroyed our relationship with you and it is a sin. We already let go of you once, we are not doing it again! Never! " (Aria)

"We are being honest with you! Please, believe us!" (Yue)

When I heard the last sentence my mind went blank.

'Please! Believe me!'--

How many times have I asked them to believe me?

But they never did, instead they caused me pain.

And this pain is what made me what I am today. I will never forgive them.

"I will never believe you! Doesn't matter what you say, what you did cannot be undone! Now get the hell out of here and never come back!"

I said these words, but they acted like they didn't hear the second part.

Yue suddenly got up.

She had a determined look on her face, and looked like she was in a fight to save the world.

"If words can't reach you, I will reach you with actions."


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