Bab 83: here it is

Someday, soon, Abby knew that these sacrifices of hers will not seem so small, and these nights will not be enough. She cannot bear the thought of that day coming, and yet somehow she cannot wait for it to come either.

The man's arms tighten around Abby so quickly and so intensely that she had to suppress a gasp. Then he relaxed his hold and patted her bare bottom as his way of saying,

'All right. Get going if you must.'

Abby lingered for a few more seconds, then unwillingly left the bed afterward. She headed towards the bathroom and stepped into the shower.

She stood under the hot spray for a long time, wondering how she ended up coming at the point why all her choices have led to that exact circumstance; leaving the married man in his bed in the middle of the night only to rush to where a child lay dead.

"Tell me I am doing this right. Please, let me know I am not doing all of this in vain."