Bab 5: Facing Trauma
~~ Author Note ~~
https://discord.gg/6PBf4ccNCT
Hello, readers.
Sorry for such a late update. I was busy with some other things. Also, I rewrote this chapter twice. I wasn't satisfied with how it was before. Anyways, as stated, this chapter is about what happened between chapter one and chapter two.
I want to mention my Discord real quick. I have created a Discord server. Feel free to join and chat if you would like to. You can also shoot me recommendations or concerns about my book through it. On the server, I have images of characters posted. It will be in every author's note and the auxiliary chapter if you'd like to join.
As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter.
~~ End Author Note ~~
***
Dianthus reopened his eyes shortly after having passed out, but the view was different from before. He was standing in a grassy plain with a blue sky and rolling clouds overhead. "I see... So, I am in my mindscape." Dianthus muttered to himself as he contemplated his situation.
As he gazed into the distance, he could see a tree with a beautiful woman resting under its shade. Dianthus rushed over to her side, and the movement caused her to rouse from her slumber. Semiramis spoke as she gazed up towards the man's face, "Won't you sit beside me?" She smiled sweetly and gestured towards the grass next to her.
Dianthus didn't hesitate to take Semiramis up on the offer. He sat down on the grass beside her, resting his back against the rough tree bark. Semiramis, in turn, nestled her head on his shoulder.
A light wind blew across the field, rustling the leaves and causing the grass to sway. Neither person spoke. They both relaxed in the other's presence, using this moment as an escape.
For Semiramis, this moment of respite was something she had longed for whenever they met. Even if the circumstances weren't exactly the greatest, she nonetheless enjoyed the reunion with her beloved. It was rare that she met with Dianthus after falling for him, as he disappeared shortly after capturing her heart.
She had known that Dianthus kept his feelings in check during their time together. No matter how much she tried to close the distance between them, an invisible wall always separated the two. The interactions stayed brief whenever they met again, as he seemed to wish to avoid her. This time Semiramis was determined to confront him on the matter.
As for Dianthus, he was reflecting on his choices. It was not the first time he had failed to protect someone he cared for. Yet, just like the first time, Semiramis was the one he met with after his failure. The only difference was that they weren't strangers this time around.
Dianthus knew of her feelings for him. He was never proud of himself for the way he handled the situation. Rather than approaching her and confronting his budding feelings, he ran away. Dianthus knew he was cowardly, but he had lost his confidence not just once but twice.
He was aware that Semiramis had some inkling about his past, yet she never attempted to investigate. Dianthus was confident that she wished for him to open up and tell her about his history himself. Of course, in this case, Dianthus was correct.
After a brief period of thought, Dianthus decided to speak. "I really am a failure, huh?" His tone was laced with self-loathing as he asked a rhetorical question to nobody in particular.
Dianthus took a deep breath to regain his composure. "You know, this isn't the first time I've failed somebody." Semiramis just closed her eyes, offering him no response.
He continued with a sigh, "I suppose that I should no longer run from myself... I'm such a fool."
"Yes, you certainly are." Semiramis finally gave a response. "Even so, I've fallen in love with the supposed fool." Her sweet voice perfectly conveyed her feelings to him.
Dianthus decided it was time to tell Semiramis of his past. "In the distant past, I had quite the happy family. I enjoyed my days idly with my wife and daughter." His voice had taken on a gentle tone as he recalled those who were the most important to him. A smile adorned his face as he began to recall happy memories of his adorable daughter and beautiful wife.
"Those days were the happiest moments of my long life..." His smile died, and a deep scowl replaced it as he continued. "Eventually, it came to an abrupt end. I had received word from my father stating that he wished to meet me even though we weren't close as he placed more emphasis on my siblings. Rather than being wary of the sudden invite, I parted with my family temporarily."
"Trusting my father had no ulterior motive was the greatest mistake I've ever made." Dianthus took another second to think. "Well, I suppose it is just one mistake of many now." He gave a short, derisive chuckle.
He pressed on, "On the way towards meeting with my father, I was ambushed by other members of my original clan. The fight was simple as I suppose they had underestimated me. After disposing of the cannon fodder, I rushed home in fear. My wife wasn't the weakest, but some in the clan rivaled even myself."
"My fears were well warranted. Upon reaching my home, the sight of corpses belonging to my wife and daughter greeted me." Dianthus became choked up while recalling the memories.
Semiramis had separated herself from his shoulder. She was watching his face as he recalled the details of what transpired.
"Those bastards... They dismembered my wife. The pieces of her body were piled next to her severed head. Those scum even removed her eyes and tongue! And my little princess..." At this point, Dianthus had tears streaming down his face.
"The bastards nailed her body to the wall behind my wife's corpse, once again removing the eyes and tongue!" Dianthus was mentally breaking as he recalled the scene.
Semiramis pulled him into her embrace and began to gently stroke his head. The repressed feelings burst forth from Dianthus. The warmth he currently felt was the same as what his wife had provided. He continued to cry into Semiramis' bosom for some time. He was finally able to let forth all his pent-up grief.
It took quite a while until Dianthus calmed down. When he finally did, he took a deep breath and attempted to finish the story. "After burying my wife and child, I devoted myself to revenge. It took some time, but I managed to destroy my entire clan. Due to my rage at the time, I had not spared a single soul."
"After my revenge, I was left feeling hollow..." Dianthus' voice trailed off as he recalled the sensation. "I had nothing to live for anymore." He felt chills creep down his spine. If he could help it, he hoped never to feel that way again.
He pushed down the feeling and continued. "From there, I began to travel between worlds, attempting to fill the void in my heart. I focused on gaining strength. During my travels, I helped many people and killed even more."
Semiramis chimed in at this point. "Most of those you helped were women, though."
Dianthus chuckled awkwardly. "Haha... Well, what can I say? Old habits die hard, I suppose. Before I met my first wife and had my daughter, I was quite the womanizer."
"I guess she must've tamed you. Fufufu..." Semiramis laughed cheerfully. It was rare for her to catch him when he was flustered.
Dianthus scratched the back of his head and gave a short cough. "A-anyways... Unknowingly, I piqued the interest of Nyogtha. He decided to use me as entertainment, messing with me in many ways. The worst of which was my second wife."
"I had unknowingly charmed women I interacted with, though each time I ran away. It was cowardly, I know. However, I couldn't bring myself to accept romance after my loss." Dianthus sighed at his incompetence, knowing that he didn't approach his loss healthily.
Semiramis offered a chilling smile in response. She didn't want to be spiteful, but she was one of the women who got abandoned. It was clear that she was holding a slight grudge. Dianthus felt a tiny bead of sweat form when he saw Semiramis' smile.
Wiping away the sweat, Dianthus chose to get back on topic after deciding it to be best that he didn't keep on the subject. "I eventually opened up to a woman who seemed to know my pain. After some time, I married her. I didn't know that the woman was essentially a hired killer. Nyogtha sent her to toy with me as he deemed it to be interesting. Once he was bored of it, he told her to kill me. I would've died to her had it not been for Tet."
"I'm happy that you're alive, but it's infuriating that you fell for an assassin rather than myself," Semiramis muttered in response.
"Well, I was pretty foolish. I admit it." Dianthus didn't feel great about his foolishness, but he couldn't change the past.
"From then on, I grew apprehensive towards romance. I lost one love and was betrayed by another. This led me to become reclusive as I decided to once again focus on strength. I had gained a reason to live. I wished to attain vengeance on Nyogtha, but you can see how well that worked out for me." Dianthus breathed out a sigh filled with self-pity.
"You're an idiot," Semiramis stated plainly.
Dianthus winced at her straightforward response. He honestly hadn't expected such a statement.
Upon seeing his reaction, Semiramis continued to speak. "I can't say I understand what you felt after your family's death. However, I do understand your sentiments regarding your second wife's betrayal. It would've been best if you hadn't pushed others away. Instead, it would've been best if you had been more careful with whom you trusted. I, myself, have experienced my first love attempt to take my life."
Dianthus knew she had been in love before but never heard this tale. His ears perked up, curious about the story.
Semiramis continued, "My first love coveted my divinity and treasures, so he attempted to get close to me to take them. Of course, he succeeded, and I fell for him. After some time together, he tried to use a rare poison to kill me. It didn't work, and I tortured and killed him. Fufufu..." Semiramis displayed a creepy smile while laughing coldly. "If he had paid attention to me, he would know I am immune to all poisons."
Dianthus shivered. He decided inwardly never to touch her bottom line. Based on her smile alone, he could infer that the torture was terrifying.
He had once witnessed her torturing someone. Sufficed to say, he never wishes to be on the receiving end. He didn't feel anything for the victim, though.
"Anyways, after that experience, I didn't push others away. I just placed a higher emphasis on those deserving my trust. You weren't the first man I trusted after the incident, but you were the first to gain my heart," she declared while looking at Dianthus warmly.
"My point is, if you hadn't pushed others away, Honami wouldn't have died," Semiramis said bluntly.
"Yeah, you're right," he said in a small voice.
"You're lucky the greatest goddess of death is your lover," Semiramis declared shamelessly. "When I noticed an issue with your soul, I rushed over immediately. Upon arrival, I met with the soul of Honami. She asked me to save you, not worrying about herself. Honami simply wished for your happiness."
Dianthus felt a warm sensation flood his heart. Tears began to well as he thought he had lost another woman with similar standing as his first wife.
Semiramis roused him out of his thoughts with her following words. "Before that creep's curse could destroy her soul, I managed to divert the fragments through the cycle of rebirth."
Dianthus was shocked. "You mean she will be reborn?" He showed hopefulness in his eyes, hearing that she wasn't completely gone.
"In a way, yes. Other women will contain the fragments of her soul. All that is needed is to collect the pieces. Once that is done, I can reform her soul so that she can be completely reborn. I have even sealed a part within myself. This will allow me to track her other fragments. You can praise me now." Semiramis haughtily lifted her head with her nose pointing to the sky.
Dianthus leaned forward to embrace her. Planting his lips on hers, he surprised her with a fervent kiss. When he pulled back, he warmly said, "You're the greatest, Semi."
Semiramis blushed as she wasn't ready for such a passionate response. Her bashfulness soon was suppressed by joy. This was the first time she had been on the receiving end of Dianthus' love. Inwardly, she was dancing around in joy. However, she didn't want to ruin her regal image, so she remained calm on the outside.
"Ahem," Semiramis coughed awkwardly, "I will help you to revive her. And now that I know about your wife and daughter, I will also look for their reincarnations. If they retain their memories, I will bring them back to you. If they don't have their memories, I will ensure that their new life is enjoyable. Is that alright with you?"
"Of course!" Dianthus couldn't help his smile widening. "I'm sorry about what I'd done in the past. I'm extremely grateful for your help."
Semiramis harrumphed, "My help isn't free. In exchange, I want you to reciprocate my feelings. I don't care if you have multiple lovers. In fact, I support it. I'm sure the other women who have fallen for you wish to meet you again as well."
Dianthus laughed joyously. "Normally, I would refuse the idea of multiple lovers. However, I know that I should move on from the past. As for your feelings, I would be honored to accept them. Truth be told, I had run away not because of your feelings for me but my own budding emotions."
"Since we've reached an agreement, I will send you on your way to the first fragment of her soul. I need to do it discreetly; otherwise, that disgusting thing will notice you're still alive. Currently, neither of us can deal with him." Semiramis was pained to admit she couldn't handle Nyogtha with her current strength.
Dianthus nodded at Semiramis. "Alright, I trust your judgment."
***
"Semi, Semi, Semi... are you listening?" Dianthus' words brought Semiramis out of her trance.
Semiramis shook her head. "Sorry, could you repeat that?"
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone