~ ZARA ~
Churning, roiling dread in my stomach. Tightness in my chest.
No.
No.
But then the images of David on that couch, letting Emory crawl into his lap and my tears wanted to return and that couldn't be what God would choose for me either, right?
Turning away from Ash because it was just way too uncomfortable to look at him, I slid back the covers and got out of bed to go shower.
Work. I hated it, but the truth was, it was saving my life. It got me out of bed five days a week and for the hours that I was there I could rely on being distracted. And if I needed anything right now, it was time when my brain wasn't twisting around memories and the ache of things I couldn't have.
Yet, as I went through the motions of getting ready and making myself professional, the uneasy feeling in my stomach wouldn't lift. As if I was nervous about something bad. As if I knew something bad was happening and I couldn't avoid it.