Bab 8: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
He had been a bit more excited than usual that morning. After weeks of participating in a psychological tug of war, Selina had finally given him a chance. For him, it had been love at first sight. It had always been a ridiculous concept to him, but wouldn't you know it, the moment he saw her he had felt something. It was a small, nagging feeling that popped up deep inside his brain. All it did was constantly inform him of how perfect she was and how badly he wanted her.
He wasn't exactly inexperienced with women as many of his previous assignments required some seduction. Usually, it was limited to an asset or their immediate circle to influence their actions. While most of the feelings of embarrassment and shame had been trained out of him, he still couldn't help but feel slimy. Love was something that many people held very dearly. It was a beautiful yet ethereal concept that drove even the most rational of people to irrationality. Such a powerful emotion was not something he felt comfortable manipulating.
He tried convincing himself over the years that what he did was for the greater good and the safety of his country. Deep down, he didn't believe half the shit he was spouting as justification for his actions.
That extensive training had almost been too good. Jack had a lot of fun in the class but initially had trouble applying those lessons in the field. By the time he had gotten proficient in it, he realized that he could never have an ordinary relationship ever again. The signs had shown up when he first came to London.
He had been drinking with his colleagues at a local bar when they had started to play Truth or Dare to get to know him better. Feeling gutsy and also to "get in with his mates" he had chosen dare. Ecstatic at his risk-taking personality, one of his colleagues, William, came up with his task.
He pointed towards the bar and gave Jack his mission. "See that lush lookin' blonde over there? Go on over and get her digits." Jack looked at her and their eyes met briefly before she looked away. Taking a shot of liquid courage, he sauntered on over and sat down right next to her. When he started chatting her up, he had instinctively defaulted to his training, something he desperately did not want to do. However, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get rid of the techniques that came to him naturally.
As the conversation was ramping up, they both decided to continue it elsewhere. She had taken him by the hand and led him out, to the sounds of drunken whooping and teasing from his friends. They had ended up in her apartment later, clothes flying off and kisses landing on every part of each other's bodies. The sex had been amazing, to say the least. He had several years of experience with a diverse range of women and was able to pleasure her in ways she had never thought possible.
He had woken up sore but satisfied, only to be hit with a feeling of regret and self-loathing. She was a civilian, not a target or an asset, but an innocent. He had used the training his government had specifically taught him to be used on only two types of people and had utilized it to get his dick wet.
He decided that what he had done was unprofessional and unforgivable to the poor girl he had met. Getting up and putting on his clothes silently, he left the apartment and disappeared into the fog. That girl deserved better than a professional liar and he was not going to mess up her life out of selfishness.
He had gone back to his apartment and just crashed in his bed. This was a significant moral conundrum that he needed to get his head around. Otherwise, he would never be able to function properly if he was always second-guessing his actions.
Sure, his government had given him the training to be able to seduce women. Sure, he had used this skillset many times to great effect. Sure, he had been able to compartmentalize his feelings long enough to get the job done, no matter how morally questionable his actions were.
Now, the situation was completely different. There was no need for such things as his mission was strictly to observe and report. He was climbing the corporate ladder pretty quickly and he could influence a lot of people into giving him access to things. Nowhere did he have to seduce some unsuspecting woman to do something for him. He wanted a normal relationship with someone he loved, but living in a world of secrets and lies for so long had messed him up.
Even if by some miracle he found a woman who could put up with his emotional baggage, would he be able to give her what she wanted? He could be the perfect boyfriend, husband, lover, hell whatever she wanted him to be. In the end, it would be just that, him pretending to be someone. He would be taking on a persona to fit with the expectations of his woman, while never truly being able to be himself.
Sometimes, Jack cursed his talent. He had never asked to be good at these things. He had wholeheartedly thrown himself behind whatever training the Agency saw fit to put him through without once questioning whether he wanted to learn those things.
At the thought of questioning his very purpose and all his experiences, Jack stopped himself quickly. As of right now, he was still with the Agency, so he had to be professional and finish his mission. He decided to abstain from relationships and only occasionally sleep around with a few girls to stave off emotional stress and disappear from their lives. As cold as it seemed, it was the most logical decision he could make to protect himself and his partners. He swore to himself that after this assignment, he would hand in his resignation and pursue normalcy.
** Time Skip **
It had been almost two years since Jack had made that fateful decision and it had worked in his favor. His bosses loved him, he had the adoration and trust of his colleagues, and he had been wildly successful at his job. The raises and promotions he had gotten had allowed him to build his wealth and make several investments for him and his future family.
He still submitted his reports to the Agency and his cover was still intact. However, he was getting tired of it all. With the experience he had accumulated at his current firm, he was getting numerous offers from the competition. Not to mention the salary, some of the tools and technology they were mentioning piqued his interest. The field was always in flux, constantly searching for a new way to increase returns. Every other week he was experimenting with some new algorithm or trying to recreate the results of some new paper.
Most of the people who had left the company for greener pastures had almost always tried to drag Jack with them. Some of the offers had been so tempting that Jack had seriously thought about resigning from the Agency to pursue them. Ultimately, his love and loyalty towards his country won, but that reason for staying was slowly wearing thin. The number of reports and briefings had shot up drastically and every night he was being bored to death. Oftentimes the meetings were superfluous and could have been solved with an email, but the bureaucracy demanded that everyone's time needed to be wasted. Jack was fine with the meetings when they had been proposed, but now he wanted to blow his brains out.
It was hard enough working the kind of odd hours he did for his firm, but then dealing with extra bullshit red tape on top of that? No matter how loyal he was, he was also getting sick of it. He had brought it up with his handler and asked to be excused from daily briefings unless they were absolutely critical but had received a hard no. Apparently, all of them were crucial in keeping the top dogs in the Agency apprised of their operation.
Despite the inconvenience, one thing made it all worth it for Jack, Selina. Their meeting had been a huge coincidence. Pissed off at his handler, Jack had left his flat to go out for a run to clear his head. As he left his building, he had put in his earbuds and started with a light jog. As he rounded the corner, he had run straight into her, sending them both tumbling to the ground. Taking out his earbuds, he started apologizing profusely for not paying attention when he first laid eyes on her.
Her face was absolutely stunning with a mix of Asian and Caucasian features. Lightly tanned skin with high cheekbones that melded perfectly with her soft brown eyes. Her lustrous, dark hair hung loosely till her waist and looked slightly disheveled. She was wearing a bright white blouse with a black pencil skirt that hugged her curvaceous figure down to her knees. With a camel colored Burberry coat on top, she looked like she had just walked off a catwalk in Milan.
Jack had been initially stunned by her beauty, his eyes widening in disbelief that a woman could be so beautiful. He instantly picked himself up and immediately reached down to help her up. She had looked at his worried face and immediately smiled at him, apologizing for not looking where she was going. That smile had lit Jack's heart up like fireworks on the 4th of July. He was entranced by her beauty. but did his best to hide it as he also gave her a smile back. They just smiled at each other for a couple of moments and broke eye contact as the silence was getting awkward.
Selina looked down in embarrassment and saw a rivulet of blood slowly trickling down Jack's kneecap. Upon further examination, the skin was scraped badly enough that the flesh could be seen from the outside. Blood was starting to pool around the wound and started flowing more freely down Jack's leg. "You're hurt!" Selina exclaimed with worry.
Looking down at the wound, Jack simply shrugged it off saying "It's just a flesh wound ma'am, I'll take care of it when I get back home." Selina was having none of it though. She felt that it was her fault he had gotten hurt and was determined to fix her mistake.
"Absolutely not! Come with me to my flat and I'll patch you up. After sustaining a flesh wound like that, we need to stop the bleeding immediately and bandage you up. Come with me, I've got a medical kit upstairs, we need to hurry, else it might get infected."
Grabbing him by the hand, she guided him back towards his building, surprising Jack. "You live here too?" he asked.
"Yes, I moved in a couple of months ago on the 3rd floor. How about you?" she asked also seeming surprised that Jack lived in the same apartment complex.
"I've lived here for a couple of years now. I'm surprised I haven't seen you at all Ms...?"
"Somerset. Selina Somerset. I have no doubt, as my work schedule is quite unpredictable. I'm a doctor at Heart Hospital."
"Selina. That's a very beautiful name Dr. Somerset" Jack replied with a mischievous tone. 'Damn it. Stop, Jack. You promised not to this again.' Jack scolded himself almost immediately after he spoke. He was about to apologize for seeming overly flirtatious when Selina interrupted him.
They had stopped in front of her door, as she unlocked it she said "Here we are, take a seat on the couch and roll up your right cuff till above the knee. Give me a second to get my first aid kit, I'll be right back."
Jack rolled up his pant cuff and settled down on the couch while observing the living room. The decorations were tasteful and gave a certain futuristic vibe to the flat. The walls were a pristine white with a couple of paintings decorating the living room. A few picture frames with photos of her and presumably, her family adorned the shelves. All in all, it was an elegant living room that looked like it belonged in an interior design magazine. The biggest thing that Jack noticed was how clean everything was. Everything from the picture frames to the tables was spotless. Given her occupation, how did she have the time to clean her house and keep it this clean?
As he started pondering about how it's possible, Selina came back holding a small red bag with a white cross symbol on it. Unzipping the case, she slipped on a pair of blue nitrile gloves She removed a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and a Ziploc bag of cotton balls. Taking a cotton ball out of the bag, she started talking as she doused it in hydrogen peroxide.
"Has the bleeding stopped slowed down? That's a really bad scrape and it needs to be properly disinfected and bandaged. As she was dabbing his wound with the cotton ball, she was surprised that despite having such a horrible cut, he was was not making a sound. His icy blue eyes stared into her not showing any signs of discomfort.
She finished the procedure and remarked "Alright, all done. Make sure to change the dressing every 6 hours and I'd also recommend getting a tetanus shot just in case. Watch for any signs of infection and if you see any, get to the hospital immediately and they'll take care of you. Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you. I hope to see you again sometime."
She held out her hand, waiting for Jack to take it. Jack shook her hand firmly, looking into beautiful, chocolate brown eyes. "It was a pleasure meeting you Selina. I too hope we see more of each other. Take care and have a good night."
Walking out of her apartment, he sighed. 'Okay. Baby steps, Jack. Baby steps.' He was happy he didn't default to training, but that only made it harder. Nevertheless, Jack was determined to do it the right way. He had finally found a woman worth pursuing and he wasn't gonna mess it up.
As he was walking down the stairs towards his apartment, he thought 'Damn. I didn't even know I could get this excited anymore. Guess the future's gonna be pretty interesting.'
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
DaoistTimeEnder
DaoistTimeEnder Hey Everyone,
Thanks for reading the chapter. Please leave your thoughts in the comments. Also, if you could, please leave a review for my story. I really want to get your feedback on how I'm doing so far and that would go a long way towards improving the story.
Sincerely,
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