Bab 27: Shush

I had to feel him. It was a necessity. My fingers gently grabbing his hair, getting lost in the soft and silky tufts, head tilted towards him, eyes closed, lips touching and moving in a non-periodic rhythm, legs strangled on his lap. It was something that I had to do. Right?

The dilemma that arose at my conspicuous actions surprised me. It was not supposed to be like that. I was not supposed to question my need to pretend in front of Dimitri about my supposed affections towards him. He was no child and of course knew that all of this was just my way to show him my compliance. I was okay with him knowing that as long as I got to have Liza out of there. Away from here. But now, I wasn't sure if he knew the self-doubt I was facing as well.