Bab 43: Manipulation is the dark side of charisma.
Surprised, "So you're not just going to try your luck with Safa?! you are determinate to Marry her?" Colin asked.
"I should hope so, we know now that she fits the conditions of the will, and it appears that my aunt was hoping for Safa to become my wife.
I owe everything I am now to my dear aunt, the least I could do for her is to try to get Safa to marry me." Fabian replied.
Colin was beyond confused, around two weeks ago, Fabian nearly killed himself by drinking because he had a mental breakdown after fighting with Colin over whether he should persue Safa or not.
And at the time Fabian was adamant to not see her as an option for marriage, so why the sudden drastic change of heart?
Chuckling, "And here I thought you were a man of your word." Agatha spoke-up, "I was told you refused to persue Safa out of respect for her choice of remaining celibate?"
Slightly glaring, "Although I did say I would respect her choice...I did not give my word about it, so it is not like I broke a promise of some sort." Fabian replied.
"I see, then may I ask?...why did you change your mind?" She asked.
"Marriage in my opinion is burden given to us by society to help keep said society alive and going, I cannot see it any other way.
People tend to glorify it, they consider it an important and happy milestone of every person's life, but not everyone gets married eventually.
I thought I would not either..." Fabian said, "The reason why I insisted that I have to be in love with a woman before marrying her is because I hated the idea of marrying someone and tying myself to them, but I thought that I can handle it if I fell in love with that someone.
It is rather funny that I wanted to fall in love considering that I never fell in love before, I knew nothing of the matter." He added.
"Not even once?" Lady Danbury questioned.
"Yes...i was always confused about it, everyone was talking about love and finding the one, but i was skeptical about things I did not try for myself.
Even though I witnessed my aunt and her husband's love, I was still confused.
I think it was due to the fact that I have been feeling empty and misunderstood so far...I just did not see myself capable of falling in love.
By the time my aunt took me in, I was a teenager who had lost everything, including my will to live...ever since then my entire goal was to find a meaning for my miserable life.
My aunt tried her best to be there for me and understand me and I believe her husband tried to do so as well, but his methods were... traditional to say the least.
As for me All I could think of at the time, is who is Fabian Kainz and why was he born? I had no idea what was the reason I survived to that point." Fabian replied.
"So you opted to travel as a way to find yourself?" Lady Danbury asked.
"Well, my passion for traveling happened by complete chance...
When I came here to England years ago, I was illiterate, I could not speak English and I possessed no significant knowledge.
So I spent most of my time studying, and I found solace in studying to a point where I kept at it until I could read every book in the Struat's Library.
Long story short, I was so obsessed with studying, and rarely ever interacted with anyone even my own aunt, I was all day inside the house and that began bothering lord Struat so much because he wanted me to learn how hunt, ride horses and be a proper gentleman and leave the house more often.
I believe because the couple did not have children, he was trying to be like a father figure but I hated how traditional his definition of a man is." Fabian replied.
Lady Danbury was intrigued, "So unlike most gentlemen you prefered to stay inside and keep to yourself?"
"Yes...my aunt always defended me from her husband's pressure as I grew up, but by the time I was almost 20, my aunt made it very clear that she cannot always keep choosing my side, that her husband was right about me being too closed off.
So she insisted that I spend some time with her husband and that I need to start making friends.
I did for a while and I hated it, most people I tried to befriend were annoying and mindless, and her husband was a sore loser who could not handle that I became a better shot than him after he taught me how to shoot.
Anyhow, I could no longer handle dealing with him or anyone else for that matter, so I went back to my habits but my aunt came around again with a new idea.
I was against the idea at first, but she insisted I should travel at least once in My life...I think she knew I would love it eventually because she tried to persuade me by saying that there is so much more to learn out there beyond england and that she would finance everything so I do not have to worry about anything.
So by the time I became 20 I eventually went on my first Trip, and I ended-up loving to travel so much so, that I kept traveling for almost 10 years Now." Fabian explained.
"That is why you were desperate to find a wife who shared your interest in travel?" Agatha asked.
"Yes, I never fell in love before and I thought I would if I met a woman that shared my interest, instead I met Safa.
her health alone would not allow her to travel, and she is scared to death of the sea, so I know for sure that if she somehow miraculously ended-up loving me, she would not allow me to get on a boat myself." Fabian replied.
"These were all reasons you gave Colin onto why Safa is not perfect for you, yet somehow, now they do not matter at all?"
"They matter but I realized something yesterday...I think Safa has caught on to my attraction to her."
Surprised, "What?! You did not tell me about this!" Colin spoke-up.
"I'm sorry My mind was preoccupied." Fabian replied.
"How did you know she caught on?" Agatha asked.
"Safa is an honest person, she is also quite confident and yesterday she became nervous the moment I told her that I have misunderstood the conditions of the will.
I think she understood that it meant she fits the conditions and it worried her, because the next thing she did was to tell me about her friend, Clara.
A girl who is apparently living with her at the moment and she is very close to her, Safa said that Clara would suit me because she is interested in traveling and attempted to somewhat pressure me into considering her as an option." Fabian explained.
"That is strange, she hates marriage possibly as much as you do! Why would she attempt to set you with this Girl?" Colin questioned.
"It does not matter what her reasons are, but I know for a fact that she might attempt to put a distance between us now that she fears I have feelings for her.
If she managed to go on for years without seeing my aunt whom was there for her when her entire family perished, there is no question that she will do the same for me eventually.
And this is my first time falling in love, I cannot think or do anything not even sleep without her creeping into my mind, she is haunting me in my dreams every night!" Fabian said, The sudden fear mixed with seriousness in his voice, shocked both Colin and Agatha.
"I never went through something like this before! I want peace of mind but I just fell for the first time, I am confused scared and I am running out of time and I might never get a chance to fall again for someone else, and I told Safa I rather be poor than marry someone I do not love." Fabian said.
"I...have never seen someone change their mind so quickly and drastically, Fai are you sure you're alright?" Colin asked astonished.
"I am far from alright!" He replied.
"This is a problem indeed, from what I heard, Safa has no problem keeping a distance from people she believes would stand in her way, so she most certainly will keep her distance from you if she knew for certain about your feelings." Agatha said,
"At first I thought I would be fine just having her as a Friend, but now that I suspect Safa might be into me, I do not think she would remain as my friend for long." Fabian replied.
"Which explains why she is attempting to play matchmaker with you.
Normally she would have already cut you off the moment she suspected your feelings, but perhaps out of guilt that she kept her distance from your aunt whom helped her greatly in the past, and as a way of freeing herself from said guilt, Safa befriended you and is willing to keep you around longer than usual even though she is aware of your feelings." Lady Danbury said.
"What does that mean?" Colin asked.
"It means, that Safa most likely already suspected that Fabian might be developing feelings for her before the dinner party, and was planning to give him an advice of some sort about the matter.
She probably wasn't even thinking of cutting him off at that point Because up until the dinner party, she believed that she did not fit the standards of the Future Lady Struat.
She thought that Fabian was falling in love with someone he cannot have, which meant he will give up eventually and she was safe as long as she wasn't a member of The Ton.
Safa must have also believed there's no chance Fabian would seek her out, but now that she knows for a fact that he can ask for her hand in marriage.
Safa decided to do some matchmaking as a last attempt of shifting Fabian's attention else were.
Meaning that if this matchmaking of hers failed and Fabian did not find Clara interesting, Safa will probably dissolve her friendship with him and completely cut him off before things get serious." Lady Danbury explained.
"Which is why I need your help, Colin said that you can persuade Safa to change her mind about marrying someone." Fabian said.
"Unfortunately I have a solution to this situation, but I myself find it rather unethical." Lady Danbury replied.
"And what is it?" Colin asked.
"We need to make sure that Safa falls in love with you, before she decides to kick you out of her life." Lady Danbury said while looking intensely at Fabian.
Nervous, "What is...the unethical part in this?" Fabian asked.
"She wants you to fall for Clara instead, whomever this girl is, she is now living in Safa's estate and she is very close to Safa, which would give you the opportunity to see Safa more than you could ask for, which also means plenty of opportunities to get to know Safa and get her to know you." Lady Danbury said.
"You mean to say that..."
"Yes, Fabian! You need to court this girl Clara in order to trick Safa into believing she is Safe again so she would keep you around and even become more friendly, then while you are doing so, you will try to make Safa fall in love with you without her realizing that's your actual purpose of courting her friend." Lady Danbury replied.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
QW_JiHi
QW_JiHi Fun fact: Dating Introduced privacy to the process of courtship!
Ironically, a man and a woman meeting in public was the best way to have some privacy. Before dating, courtship involved suitors calling on prospective partners in the family home. And since McMansions were not yet a thing, it meant the parlor or kitchen, where there were always eyes and ears close by.
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