Bab 5: is THAT spinach?

wow we got WAY off topic there... right! the legs on the robot. so it almost hovered but it really didn't because we all know that's dumb. it wouldn't crush any of the the plants on the planet, because spin was like "what if we crushed the SPINACH?!?!?!" anyways, on our way to the horizon... it was... just grass. yes. just fields of long grass, for miles. for like, the whole planet it seemed like? well, not really. eventually they found a forest with large trees, very large.

Spin kept looking aroud as if his head was a car's steering wheel in a street race. after he said "ITS GREEN!! is THAT spinach?" for the umpteenth time, the servants were like "ugh... no those are trees," and he was like "WHAT?!?!? SPINAAAAAACHH!!!" as his head waggled back and forth in rage. the servants exchanged annoyed looks behind their frothing young master's back and piloted the robot further into the forest.

they soon came upon a village. and they knew it was a village because? there were houses. oh but they weren't like NORMAL robot houses, they didn't look like anything they had ever seen. those weren't normal HOUSE houses, they were made of, like... trees? who DOES that? I mean, who uses TREES and rocks that's so dumb! why not use plastic or dig under ground for heavens sake! everyone knows a sensible non-robot house is underground! we even talked about this earlier.

so, they were wandering around when they saw people walking, above ground.. weird, who does that? who WALKS anymore? just float, in your little pods that are really comfy with actual breathable living space. well actually, the PODS don't float they roll while you float in them.

SO. they found the people crazy enough to walk around above ground and have things made of wood and stuff ABOVE GROUND, and they drove their robot up to them and spin said "ok you crazy people who build weird wood board houses and walk around without spacesuits aboveground like idiots! i want spinach!" and they were like "...." and looked at him like he was some kind of weird sideshow an imbecile produced that confuses you while also inspiring great pity for his very existence. just- what. are. you. talking. about. you know?

they knew what spinach was, of course. they had eaten it before, but no one really liked it. "of all the things to want, why spinach?" the crowd wondered.

"you could have ANY other vegetable... carrots are nice and sweet. or snap peas, you can snap m, and they're peas. or there's rutabagas. those have a fun name! so why spinach?" a villager asked.

and he said "BECAUSE. my name is spin, and my nickname is spinach! and i want to BE SPINACH!"

the villager was like "wait, you want to BE spinach?" and spin said "well, at least i want to have some. cuz i've never actually seen it before... that and we don't know how to transmute people into beings of spinach. YET. when I figure that out, that's what'll happen. but in the meantime, i want to grow spinach. i want to be THE GREATEST SPINACH FARMER in the UNIVERSE!" his image was: nothing but spinach. for ACRES. and then he'd be a spinach master! and life would be fun and amazing...

and the villagers were like, "have you ever EATEN spinach?" and spin was like "NO"... and then "have you ever seen spinach?"... "nah"... "has anyone else at your village even seen spinach?" "hmmmmm, i wouldn't call it a village, but nope, no one i know has."

the villager in front sighed. this kid won't leave this alone will he? but we don't have any... wait. he looked at the giant metal ball with some spinach crazed child in it and, grinning slightly said "alright kid, i'll show you to some spinach."

he lead the way and they followed him to the town's fields of produce, where a whole bunch of LETTUCE was growing, and he said "HERES the spinach!" while pointing at the lettuce with the fakest smile you've ever seen. Spin asked "that's spinach?" Of course the servants, smart capable people they were knew that it wasn't spinach. one of the servants and the villager looked at each other furtively. "Yeah it is!" affirmed the servant. pointing at the totally-a-spinach-plant "look, it has leaves. it grows out of the ground, looks kind of leafy... smells kind of leafy? spinach!" the villager nodded his head gravely in the background.

"wait," the second servant said. "that isn't spinach! THATS iceberg lettuce! it's a little bit different." the other servant and the villager glared at the forthcoming man like OH COME ON! we almost dumped this stupid kid off! "OH. that's not spinach? i don't want anything that's not spinach." spin hmphed.

and so, knowing that they'd been found out, the villager decided to send them to the spinach farm that was like a day of walking away. it was owned by some crazy old man. what was his name again? oh right, Old Mc'dune. he was the only one crazy or maybe stupid enough to try growing and selling spinach in these parts. it didn't go well. by now he only had like three plants. and they were all shriveled up because he sucks at gardening.