Bab 3: 3. Mutatio
' I'm finally gone crazy.' I thought after hearing my reflection words.
" Madam Pomfrey" I called out to the matron, but she didn't respond to my call.
I called her again, but there was still no answer. I tried calling anyone in the vicinity, but still no response.
" No one's going to come here," said my alter in the mirror.
' Is this another sick prank by those fucking marauders or is it because of any dark spell used by rosier and his idiots? But, why is Pomfrey not coming,...wait a minute ' i thought and listened for the chatter of the students or the ghosts, but I didn't hear a single sound. The entire castle was quiet like it was abandoned.
" This isn't some prank, Severus. We're in your mind " said my alter calmly
" What are talking about? " I questioned it.
"Your body is currently asleep and the place we're in is your mind. " said my alter and vanished from the mirror.
" And we're here because there is so much we have to talk about," said my alter creepily from beside me
I looked towards the voice and saw a replica of myself ( alter ) sitting in a chair beside my bed.
" What do we have to talk about? " I asked.
" We talk about you. About your disgusting devotion towards lily, your anger at the marauders, your hate towards your father, your cowardness, your desire for power and much more. To do that, we have to go down your memory lane" said alter and the world turned pitch black.
The light soon filled my eyes, as I was standing in a place I was so familiar with in spinners' end, my home.
I was standing in the living room of my home and watched as my father, Tobias snape backhanded the 6-year-old version of me. I remembered that moment, it was because I did accidental magic and vanished my father's beer case.
The scene change again and I watched as I grew up in memories. I watched as I was beaten by my father and ignored by my mother who was too scared to confront my father to stop it, I watched as other kids mocked me, I watched as I met lily and petunia, I watched as we entered Hogwarts.
The bullying of the marauders, the taunts of my housemates, the indifference of lily about my bullying, the professors not believing me because of my house, the days I spent in the hospital wing due to the marauders and my housemates.
I watched everything in my pathetic life until now play before me.
I chuckled mirthlessly after watching my life devoid of happiness.
' Is this how I am supposed to live my entire life? lonely, sad, and pathetic. it's better if I just die ' I thought.
" It depends on you, Severus. " I heard the voice of my alter, as the scene changed to the top of the astronomy tower.
Standing at the edge of the tower was my alter with his black robes fluttering in the wind.
" What can I do? I don't have money, background or political connections like potter or black. I'm just a nobody " I said gloomily
" You have something much more powerful than those, Severus. You know" said my alter looking at me.
" You can modify potions and make them more efficient with a single glance and create new spells. You can duel far better than most of the students in the castle. You can manipulate people with just your words. You are underestimating yourself, Severus. " said alter
" What do you want to be after Hogwarts, Severus? " questioned alter.
" You are me, don't you know what I want to be, " I said irritatedly
My alter didn't respond and just looked at me stoically. I sighed in defeat and answered him.
" I want to serve the dark lord," I said.
" Why? " questioned my alter.
" He can give me power, status and the respect I deserve for my skills," I said
" Who said that only by serving him you can achieve those? " inquired my alter.
" How else can I get them? I'm a half-blood, like I said I have no privileges like the purebloods" I said to him
" Did you even listen to anything I said? Rosier and your housemates use you for their homework, they mock you and beat you because of your blood. They beat you to near death just for talking back to them yesterday, they don't like a half-blood like you above them. When they think you are of no more use to them, they will not hesitate to kill you. I know, why you want to join the dark lord because you want to be accepted. No one in our entire life accepted us, our father, fellow Slytherins, students, professors. " said alter.
I clenched my hands listening to him say the truth out loud, I avoided all these years.
" What else can I do? It's either joining the dark lord or dumbledore. I would rather die than work with that old coot and the bloody Gryffindors. " I groaned
" Don't join either of them. You can do so many great things, Severus. It's just you are underestimating yourself. Do you want to see how your life will be if you wrote your destiny? "asked alter
I nodded my head and the scene changed again. Now, I was standing in the centre of the great hall of Hogwarts. The entire hall is filled with people wearing black robes, who are kneeling towards a lone figure sitting in the chair of the headmaster, with a heap of wands at his feet.
The lone figure is dressed in black attire with a black cloak. Most of his are covered by the hood of his cloak.
I could feel the magic exuding from him, it was powerful. I felt my breath hitch being in his presence.
'Who is that? ' I thought in fear
" That's you, Severus." I heard alter say from beside me
" Me? " I asked in disbelief.
" Yes, it's what you can become if you can accept yourself," said alter.
" Accept myself? " I asked in doubt
" You hide from your pain. You act indifferent to everything because you are afraid. You think that if you act like you don't care, it hurts less. But, you're wrong, all that anger, rage, despair and pain don't go away. They grow and grow until you can't keep them inside anymore and they start to change you. That's why I am here, to change you and make the best of you. Embrace the darkness, Severus" said alter grinning.
I stood contemplating his words. He was right, I have to stop hiding. The instant I thought that I was bombarded with feelings of rage, anger and pain. I stumbled forward, closed my eyes shut and screamed at feeling years' worth of those negative emotions.
The pain started subsiding, so I opened my eyes and found myself overlooking the great hall with people kneeling in front of me.
' I'm him. ' I thought seeing the black attire I was wearing and the heap of wands at my feet. I could feel the magic flowing through my veins, it was exhilarating.
I looked towards the centre of the hall and watched as my alter grinned at me and vanished into particles.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and concentrated on waking up.
I woke up again and found myself on the bed in the hospital wing.
" Madam Pomfrey " I called out to the matron, hoping it worked and I'm not stuck in my mind forever.
" Yes, Severus " I heard the voice of Pomfrey as she parted the screen surrounding my bed and peeked in.
" I'm hungry," I said to her and watched as she went in a hurry to get me something to eat.
I moved my body to sit in a comfortable position and looked up at the ceiling and for the first time, I felt relieved.
....
[ Narrator POV ]
As Severus was immersed in his thoughts, he didn't see wisps of darkness seeping out his bandaged wounds.
A shockwave unseen and undetected by most of the beings spread from Severus and covered the entire world.
Creatures born from magic and seers are the only ones who felt the disturbance in the magic.
Dementors screeched in joy, and unicorns ran away from Hogwarts and into the depths of the forbidden forest.
Fawkes shrieked feeling the darkness pulsing in the magic and the basilisk slumbering in the depths of Hogwarts woke up after a long time.
Seers around the world gave out a prophecy. A prophecy about a man born from darkness.
...
AN: This chapter was tiring to write. I didn't know how to change snape mindset without breaking his character. I tried my best and hope you liked it. plz, forgive the cringe.
Word count will be 1500, so I can upload daily without burning myself out.
I want to make Severus a badass character. I try my best to make the scenes as cringe-less as possible. Severus will become op, just not straight away. He will face defeats, obstacles, and hardships just like any normal person, but he will beat them using his wits and hard work. There won't be any cliche troupes where he gets a letter from Gringotts for prince heir, learning bullshit anime tricks.
Also, I decided on the pairing, it's Severus x Bellatrix. There will be serious marauder bashing, like very serious, so if anyone likes them yet yourself out now.
Also, there won't be narcissa for Severus, she's just a friend. I plan to make Lucius x narcissa as a side plot. ( it's fixed )
Anyways, throw those powerstones at me if you have some.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone