Bab 6: Chapter 6: The Citadel and other Delights (R -18)
Chapter 6: The Citadel and other Delights (R -18)
I hope that the multiverse is real, and that there are a bunch of versions of me running around having fun. I submit to the judges my bid for Gruntest Grunt: Jack throwing that tattooed ass back atop Warden Kuril's cooling corpse in the shady space under the Engineering Deck. The combination of wanton disregard for my continued safety in pursuit of hedonistic pleasure and macabre disrespect for the Turian people pleased both my lizard nuts and my lizard brain.
The woman herself, I'd always been a magnet for her type. The more issues the more irresistible that pull. Once a chick gets to terminal levels of fucked up backstory I might as well shout Bansho Tenin, and Jack is all the trauma of those girls stuffed into one woman, and from the way she throws it back, she's mastered the manipulation of the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal. Every now and then she'd spark up blue and hammer her hips into mine hard enough to buck me, a smirk on her face as she turned to look at me each time as if to remind me that at any point she could throw that ass back hard enough to smash me against the wall. I held onto that skinny power bottoms hips and welcomed the challenge of her eezo molded nervous system versus my lab perfected body.
Jack hit the endzone hard with loud grunts and a smile while a cold blue aura like flame burst out her whole body transparent enough to still see her, but distorting the image, and like a top she spun in the air off of her hands and knees to wrap her legs around my hips and latch her fingers onto the plates of my neck like holds on a climbing wall. A quick flex of my thighs got me up on my feet and the two of us worked together to pump her body on my cock like a pneumatic hammer. I kept my mouth closed tight and focused on sucking wind through my nostrils at an even pace. We'd found the right angle, and our coordination twisted her gorgeous face with pleasure, swapping out that smug expression for alternating clenched teeth and biting her lower lip until she popped off again with a full open mouth scream.
I straight up almost joined her in that scream as I nutted hard enough to feel my knees go weak, but managed to keep it down to a low rumbling groan.
"Holy shit you cum like a burst water line!" Jack gasped as she slipped off my cock and watched in wonder as I kept cumming up her stomach and chest until I'd emptied a pint and a half up her cunt and on her body, "Get the money shot already."
It took a moment for me to understand anything she said, then I mentally shrugged and pulled up my Omnitool to snap a shot of the freshly fucked landscape. As soon as I finished she grabbed my glowing wrist and tabbed to the photo gallery, her face scowling.
"Jesus fuck, do Krogan see in different colors or something?" she growled then adjusted my arm, "Watch me free hand this shit."
Jack posed again and took the shot herself, and swiped between the two back and forth. I don't know what she did, but her shot was so much better than mine I almost felt ashamed.
"That's how you get the money shot." she smirked again then flicked her wrist, "Now fuck off, I've got things to do."
"Watch your tone with me, woman." I stated firmly and watched her grit teeth and clench her fist.
"Or what." she challenged, stepping at me like the distance between us didn't matter a bit to her.
"Try that attitude with people actually afraid of dying." I chuckled down at her pissed off face, which only fueled the flames of her insecurity and wrath, "Me, I've had my fun, and I'mma keep having my fun until someone or something stops me. You, Cerberus, the Collectors, the Council, the Reapers. Doesn't much matter to me."
"Great, so you're a big dumb suicidal lizard." Jack sneered and I felt the corner of my mouth twitch up.
I stepped away from her and to my empty suit of armor, taking a thermos off my chest rig and spinning the cap off, taking a nice long drink of cold Ryncol.
"Ahhhh." I sighed in liquor bliss then turned my head back to her, "I want big battles, hot chicks, sick guns, sick gains," threw in a bicep flex for her, "fast ships, cold drink, and colder drip. I want honor and prestige, wealth and power, and everything worth having and doing in life. Can't live like that and be afraid of anything. You can run with me, run at me, get run over by me, or make me crash and burn, but don't ever bore me, woman."
Jack pulled back, into the darker end of the space, with just the faint red glow of an emergency light in the ceiling casting just enough light on the back wall to make her a black silhouette.
"I've heard enough losers say the same shit." she scoffed as I started getting dressed up, "I'm not some ace in the hole to get you everything you ever wanted."
Armoring starts from the feet and works its way up. I'd covered up my groin by the time I had anything to say to her.
"Ask your buddy, the warden, how much I need an ace in the hole to get what I want." I gave the Turian a kick that sent him flying over her shoulder, the dead body bouncing violently off the wall, "Got his gun, got his money, and the galaxy has an endless supply of scumbags like him for me to keep taking whatever I want from without ever doing it to someone that doesn't deserve it. Shepard flys me right to the action, every time. Try asking her for what you want. She's an expert at getting shit done."
I finished locking up my gauntlets and holstering my kit, then hit her with a, "Later, Jack."
After dropping off my gear I set out to grilling up the next meal in my get swole meal plan: steak and eggs. Same meal as the last, same as the next, but not for long as Shepard charted a course for the Citadel after our excursion on the Purgatory. Both Zaeed and Kenneth made their way down to the cargo bay when the scent and sizzle of searing red meat permeated the area. Vultures, but I abide. Life's moments aren't legendary unless your friends are around to see them.
"If you keep pounding post op pussy like this, people are going to start thinking you're some kind of professional." my aging mercenary pal said while I manned the piping hot grill and enjoyed the browning formation of crust, "But I am old enough to know better. Do you know what the hell you've done, you damn fool?"
"I am pretty sure we are on the same wavelength, but why don't you tell me anyways." I snarked back at him.
"You've thoroughly hooked up with a crazy person." Zaeed rasped out, "I'm not some teen on the net telling everyone not to stick it in crazy. I am a man who has looked crazy right in the eyes, made kinky love to it, and got stabbed the moment my gaze turned away. Where's Jack, kid?"
"Left her so she could enjoy being creepy in the dark after we finished up." I answered him.
"Goddamn it, kid!" Zaeed hit the table trying to sell like he's doing more than just fucking with me, "You fucked a psycho who can rip people apart with her mind! Take this seriously before you get us all killed."
I sighed heavily, "I am fully aware of how sideways this could go, but look." I held out an empty hand, "Look how many fucks I give."
"Yeah, well if you die I have to get my food from Mess Sergeant Cockskin." Zaeed deadpanned, "That's like a whole two decks up from here."
That would suck, especially since we were on our way to the Citadel and Zaeed and I were going splitsies on an expanded pantry. The steak and eggs were getting old fast. Not that I'd stop eating them, not with the gains I was making, but I'd like to break up the monotony with a side of fruit. I'd done my research. The galaxy produced a wide variety of juicy melons, sweet sour and tangy berries, and crisp and firm pomes. I dedicated myself to eating them all. Vegetables, so long as they like getting fried, sauteed, caramelized, or grilled.
"Heard you pussy's talking about me." Jack said as she materialized from the shadows like a creepy vamp kid.
"Did you hear the part about when you fucked a kid?" Zaeed grinned while he threw me under the bus.
"Not cool, bro!" I complained while Jack yelled out, 'The fuck you just say?'
"Did Grunty not tell you he is only a few weeks old?" Zaeed coyly asked like an asshat.
"We agreed not to talk about that in front of chicks." I pointed my disappointment at my homie.
"Is he being serious right now?" Jack looked at me confused.
"Shepard flushed him from the birthing tank on this very ship." Zaeed laughed, "Right over there." He pointed up to the Port Cargo Area.
"Are you two fucking with me?" Jack looked between us like she was 80% to a mob psycho freak out.
"No." I grunted, "And Zaeed wasn't supposed to tell ladies that I'm 21 days - not years - old. Jackass."
"This is so fucked up." Jack said like she'd given up on the world.
"Just don't think about it." I advised.
"How the fuck am I not supposed to think about being a kiddie fucker?" She cried out and pounded her fist on the metal table that served as our unofficial mess hall.
Luckily not with any of her blue space wizard power.
"I was grown and educated in a lab, so its not really kiddie fucking." I consoled her.
"Do you know how to identify a Krogan juvenile?" Zaeed asked with a shit eating grin.
"Oh, fuck you!" I yelled, missing my middle fingers something fierce.
Jack just looked at me with dead fish eyes.
"You see the way the armored plates haven't fused into solid pieces." Zaeed laughed as he pointed, "That's how."
I slammed three metal plates down full of steak and eggs for them.
"You are on thin ice, old man." I growled.
I came back with four pounds of red meat and five dozen fried eggs for myself. We ate in silence. Kenneth sat half on and half off of the bench seat, ready to run at the first sign of danger. Worry not, sweet baby Kenneth, for I shall shield you with my mighty bod.
Our trip to the Citadel took some time. Mass Effect travel is fast, but it's not instantaneous. Top of the line ships like the Normandy can hit fifteen light years in a twenty four hour period and maintain that for forty eight hours when not travelling directly between Mass Relays. Reapers can double that and maintain for however long they want. It gave Jack enough time to reclaim her lost soul and join Team 'Don't think about it' AKA Team Copium.
I was honestly stunned by the scope of the Citadel, the games did a good job of conveying the awe you feel when first seeing it, but you quickly lose the gravity of that spectacle. In real life you don't lose that intense feeling that you are on a space station that houses 13.2 million people, even when crammed into the various decks. The central ring is 7.2 kilometers wide and the arms are 43.6 kilometers long. The station is enormous and filled to the brim with clashing cultures. The glowing signs of businesses compete with the flash of VI's and the constantly running advertisements constantly bombarding the constantly bustling people. Space New York basically.
We docked at the Zakara Ward, one of the five arms of the Citadel, and we started splitting up right out of the air lock. The Commander and the Cerberus goon squad went to recruit Kasumi Goto - an infamous master thief - and get Shepard reinstated as a Specter with C-Sec. Zaeed, Garrus, and I used the automated taxi service to get us to the food vendors. Jack stayed on the ship, hanging out in the dark.
Cerberus handled my immigration status through their back channel infiltrators. Human supremacist operatives found positions on the Citadel far easier than before the Alliance Navy saved the Destiny Ascension and the Citadel Council from the Reapers and the Geth two years prior. That action landed humanity one coveted spot at the high table of species and firm entrenchment in the galactic bureaucracy. In the rapid influx of human influence, Cerberus quietly gathers enough might to eventually pull off a violent coup d'état that could wipe out the other representatives in the executive office.
For now, they cut my checks, pay my expenses, and file my taxes. Bastards will probably slip them into the system with wrong values so that in three or four years time I'll start getting messages about how I owe five or six thousand credits for errors from years I wasn't even alive for. Bastards.
Zaeed kept me from going full tourist and got us where we needed to go. A human wholesaler targeting the ever demanding ships at port.
"Buyer's guide to the galaxy." Zaeed parted with more of his veteran wisdom, "Food, Human or Asari sourced only. There are no other food cultures worth a damn. Same with tech, skew Asari for personal devices as their shit is built to last. Never buy Salarian tech. It doesn't matter how fast they say it goes, their shit is always loaded with spyware. They can't help themselves. Even when it isn't some bullshit STG program, all private Salarians are after one get rich quick scheme or another. Healthcare, though, always go with the Salarian. Asari might have the bed side manner, but the Salarian's ego won't tolerate mistakes. Financials, Volus might seem like the go with the way they present themselves to the rest of us, but fuck 'em, so greasy you won't even feel the ass fucking till its over and your money is gone. Human for if you want to see a worthwhile ROI within the next decade, or Turian if you want a slow and steady rate. Human and Turian for war gear too. Pretty much wraps up all the important stuff."
Through the power of stereotyping I gained an understanding of the galactic economy, and no amount of nuanced and educated opinions will ever dislodge this effective and quick take from the top spot in my mind. After we wrapped up our cut and dry business at the Human run supply store, we hit up a similar Asari group for more exotic culinary options. Were as the Human store carried almost exclusively fare I knew from prior experience, I knew nothing of the Asari stuff. I know every gun utilized by the Asari Commandos, the information burnt into my big lizard brain, but not a single ingredient. Fortunately their catalog came with pictures of everything with easy to grasp flavor profiles and hyperlinked recipes, and even more fortunately to a Krogan everything looks tasty. I blew a lot of Warden Kurril's credits on a Zen diet, seeking to become one with everything through digestion.
As we made our way back to the Normandy I stopped outside a small clothing store. A clothing store owned by a Krogan, that served Krogan. If I was some wish SI jackass, one of my wishes would have been this store, a place I can shop where everything fits. Small people don't get it, but the biggun's understand. From wracks hung thick, durable, rugged garments the like of which I have not encountered in this life or in videogames, for it wasn't just the arming suits unarmored Krogan wore in the games, but shorts, tank tops, clothes for a man unafraid to bear arms and bare thighs, and in stylish prints rather than bland scifi basic bitch gear.
"These." the guy running this store handed me a pack of briefs with a small grin on his lizard face, "Your quad will thank me later."
I'm the kind of guy who believes people when they say things like, 'You don't want to know' so when an honored elder tells me my nuts are in good hands, I listen. I grabbed four packs of the underwear.
"You got good skin, kid." The guy told me and continued before it could get weird, "Go visit my brother down the way, he'll hook you up with every thing you need to keep from looking like a dried out scrotum."
Settling up hurt me inside, but I knew I wouldn't be finding another supplier of clothing that both fit me and didn't feel like a single tug would tear it to pieces. The proprietor pushed a good product, and I followed his advice and found his brother's shop.
"Good, good!" Called out the guy who ran this joint, a blue shelled Krogan with azure highlight work on his ridges with sapphire and gold details, guy looked like he found all the fierce and fabulous people on earth and ate half of them at least, "Finally someone comes to me young enough to save his good looks. Too few of us take care of ourselves before it is too late! Come, come. I will make you silky smooth!"
What happened next was a master class in Krogan hygiene, skin, and shell care. Okeer should have got this guy to help make his education program, because the man was fount of knowledge. We talked about everything from preventing the natural browning of my skin (young krogan have much more colorful skin than their older counterparts including yellow and green stripes) to applying shell wax with power tools. It made me laugh that even the more feminine side of being a Krogan was still hardcore .I left that shop with a handshake, a new delivery for the Normandy, and a pissed off merc.
"Sometimes I feel proud of you, like a father for a son." Zaeed scowled at me as I came out of the store, "This is not one of those times."
"Envy doesn't suit you, old man. Just because no one pulled you aside and taught you how to be silky smooth, doesn't give you the right to harass the more fortunate." I sniped back at the guy, "I'm sexy and I know it, and I'm going to stay this way, even if I have to work for it."
Back on the Normandy I couldn't wait to get started which is why Commander Shepard entered the Port Cargo Area to find me face down naked while a combat drone worked my lower back with an angle grinder sporting a polishing wheel. It felt incredible, like a mix between a good scratching and a good massage. 10 out of 10 will silky smooth again.
"I need you to suit up, Grunt." She ordered while keeping her eyes on my face, "We are near a colony being hit by the Collectors and Mordin's countermeasure for the seeker swarms is ready."
"Good." I barked as the drone polished up between my unfused plates, sending a tingling pleasure up my spine that had my massive ass cheeks flexing, "Time to show those insectoid freaks who's the boss, but you could have told me that on the intercom. What's up?"
"Are you and Jack going to be a problem in the field?" She asked professionally about our very unprofessional relationship.
A problem in the field? Hell yeah! The Collectors are going to weep bug man tears running into a problem like us, but that's not what the Space Momma needs to hear.
"We're solid." I denied all possibility of dysfunction, "Zaeed dropped a bomb on her, but we kissed and made up."
"That's good, Grunt." Shepard just shook her head in amusement, "You two will be backing Garrus as Beta Team when we move against the Collectors with Zaeed. We need everything to be operating at 100% for this mission. Every crack we get at the Collectors needs to hurt."
"We'll bring the pain." I grinned widely and rumbled a low laugh of good cheer.
Horizon, our first beef with the Collectors. I couldn't wait.
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Sorry about taking a month off. Ended up with some creative depression and a whole lot of brain fog that made it impossible to sit down and focus on writing. A little disappointing shock to my routine got me thinking clearly again. This chapter brought to you by heresy ruining my comfy church going.
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