Races: Online ( VR Smartphone App )

LV 10

LotsChrono

This was a review-swap but I’ll say that I’m always honest when reviewing and criticizing others; review-swap or not. Chapter reached: 69 Rating: 4/5 Writing (⅘): The writing in this story is a cut above almost all web novels on amateur writing platforms. Although fairly light to read when it comes to western standards, and easy to pick up and follow, it is in no way bad. Using descriptions when needed, the story’s writing is more than enough to keep you engaged. There are minimal grammatical or typographic errors. Most having to do with pronouns, like calling a single male’s object ‘their’ instead of ‘his.’ Furthermore, subjectively, there’s places where the word flow could use improvement to make things clearer and more enjoyable to read. Are these small gripes numerous? Not at all. You will hardly notice them if you’re engrained in the story enough, but they are still there. In essence, the writing style is perfect for the story, but the writing itself could use a once-over at certain times. Plot + World Building (⅘): The plot is initially a slow-burn. The idea and set up was definitely interesting, but I felt like the path to simply begin to progress in the story alone was a drag and I almost gave up on the novel there. When the two main characters actually reach the city, that’s when things begin picking up both within and without the game. Right now, the plot is still following a ‘magical school’ setting and I think it’s well done. It’s definitely not on the level of Harry Potter or the like, but the author brings his own charm. The explanation of [Classes] and [Races] was, for all intended purposes, perfect. And I can’t wait to see how the main character uses the system and his unique set of skills to grow stronger and more confident. The magical system is, although implemented well, standard and will not shock you. The real life segments, when the MC is out of the ‘game world’ are not interesting enough. Let me rephrase that, *the real life segments are not interesting enough when compared to the game world.  You built and made this amazing world where the MC can grow in power and the like, and then you cut the story in half with the real world? Interesting premise but, most people that read are likely to come for that RPG-like world, that fantasy, that power growth, not earthly maneuvering. Whenever I see the irl sections of the story, my first thought is on when we’ll be going back to the fun stuff. Sorry author, that’s my pure perspective from a reader’s standpoint. From an authorship standpoint, I can understand why you have the irl portions, however. I’ll reiterate. It’s not that the irl potions suck, far from it, it’s simply that in comparison to the amazing “other world”, it has a ways to go. Furthermore, it seems to cut into the pacing of the novel. Whenever an irl segment pops up, it feels like nothing is being done or accomplished. The rest of the plot is to be seen. There are things being set up. But it’s to be seen. Characters (5/5)): The characterization in this work is splendid. Individuals given names in the novel have character, personality, and lives of their own. That’s just a simple fact. I think people may or may not love the characters, but there’s no doubt that they exist as realized individuals. The main character in particular is, without a doubt, fairly fleshed out. We know his personality. His thoughts. His little action quirks on his behavior. And, what I think is most important, and many web novel authors forget, we know his goals. And I don’t just mean “get stronger.” That’s always a given Then there’s his ‘sidekick’ who acts more as a secondary main-character within the story. He’s basically a tsundere. There’s really not much else to say on character work other than “It’s magnificent.” Dynamic Descriptions (⅖): I call this segment ‘dynamic descriptions’ but you can think of it as ‘descriptions in the midst of actions.’ Aka, descriptions when characters are fighting or simply doing something with their abilities. I know I said the author is decent when it comes to descriptions, but that only refers to ‘static descriptions.’ When it comes to ‘dynamic descriptions’ or simply fight scenes, don’t expect anything amazing. For one, the author uses the word ‘as’ far too much. It’s a crutch which many people who write action scenes do. It’s boring to read “As he threw the rock, he ducked, and as she went to punch him, he evaded. And as. . .as. . .” For two, the author doesn’t understand the process of ‘action, result, and reaction.’ If I was to put it simply: He says, not show, what his characters do. He says the result. The reaction is mostly in the words of the character, not the other’s counter to the move. Do you want to follow a character as they wield their sword, scraping against another, gritting their teeth while maneuvering through blades of air and sliding against the floor to jump and tackle another? Do you want to see a person barely dodge a fireball; the scorch in the air as it passes them by? The singe in their hair? Do you want to watch a mage stumble back to escape a slice to the throat as their wand lashes out, mouth muttering, while their mana rolls and coils to conjure a flaming whip? Well, you’re going to see all of it, but it’s not nearly going to be that exciting. In my opinion, ‘dynamic description’ is the crutch of this story. For people who like good action scenes, you’re not going to like this story a whole lot. It’s a shame too because the power system is fairly interesting. An advice on this part to the author: You’re dealing with magic and swords. And, both have aspects that are very, very, visually stimulating. Don’t just say “she summoned a fireball” say “her mana coiled and the air burned, sparking to life to reveal a fireball.” Don’t just say “he swung his sword” say “he slashed down at his opponent. The clang of their connecting weapons sent a tremble into his hands.” Don’t just say “the wind pushed him away” say “the wind slammed into him, tearing him from his footing and sending him flying.” Don’t just say “he pulled him down” say “he clung to him and pulled, bringing his mass down.” It’s, kinda, like writing a school essay where you have to hit the word count. Though, of course, there are also ways to write stimulating action scenes with as little words as possible. However, I think my examples fit your style/story best. Now, the most important and subjective thing, is the story fun to read? 5/5 it is. And, really, that’s all you need for a good story.

LV 4

untaken

The background of this world is actually some of the best world building I've seen in a long time, because the author doesn't just say anything specific most of the time, but instead drops small hints. I can't tell where the story is going right now, although that's usually how video games go, so I suppose it makes sense. the writing quality is great, as is the update stability, although I don't have anything specific to say about that. The characters all feel like people I could meet in real life, they have real personalities, and I really am excited to see how you do character developement.

LV 15

A_very

Started a few days ago, almost caught up now (Chap 260) so making a review. Have really enjoyed the story, characters, lore, just about everything. While some may think there are too many side characters, at the end of the day they are all well written, dynamic characters that are all building and developing towards something which is really fun to read. The story arc has been good and making me eager to see where it’s going (though rachelruth is getting a bit too good for my liking at cliff hangers -.-). Definitely recommend others give it a read, and to check out their other novels as well, have started a couple and am enjoying them quite a bit as well. Sorry for the long review, thanks for reading. Also, before I post, Author is super nice, interacts with the readers, and puts a ton of effort into research for the book and it’s super cool to see - I highly suggest reading the author notes as you go through, as they aren’t shameless self promo and are actually just fun little messages from rachelruth giving a glimpse into their writing process, giving sources for some things, and just generally fun messages about the book.

LV 3

ButterflyMariposa

I am currently 20+ in this Webnovel. Okay, can I say how much I love how grounded and humorous the book is? I am definitely fine with romance, but this book gives a more refreshing take. I hope Author-san posts more chapters! :)

LV 4

Homia4ok

Well, I like how it started. If the author will continue to update this novel, I'll read all the chapters and even give some power stones. Thank you for such a nice video game novel. Good luck

LV 15

Chaos_Prime

To be honest I generally don’t like these kinds of books but I actually liked this one and I recommend it 100% for those who don’t like this genre like me give it a try before judging it’s enjoyable and don’t just read a couple of chapters before deciding that you don’t like it

LV 12

MotivatedSloth

Great story! Amidst all the comedy and author's concoius choice of putting the MC down outright, you will find out that this story offers a great premise, impeccable worldbuilding without the steep cost of spoonfeeding the exposition to the reader, all the way up to the topping of the genuine characters and their choices within the brackets of the given world. Great read, can recommend especially as a light lecture to relax!

LV 14

Carlos85

I have read over 130 chapters, the story has so much potential. The only thing i hate is that the POV keeps changing almost every other chapter. Some of the POV are not that important that the author put that the chapter can be skill in the title.

LV 15

bald_daoist

This review is based until chapter 70. The story is really slow. the grammar is ok except the author doesn’t know how to use the correct pronoun. he keeps on using ‘they’ or ‘their’ when he’s only referring to a single person. this usually confuse me because i always thought that he was talking about a group of people. He also keeps on referring to other chars as noble this noble that, half elf this half elf that. It should be a name in order for us to remember who is who. for me there’s a lot of filler chapters in here. the mc seems to be like a minOr char here. tImothy seems to be the mc here. i dont know.

LV 4

NthSHI

*Sob *Sob *Sob *Sob *Sob *Sob If only there's no need to use coins to unlock chapter . . . . . Damn my wallet is crying *Sob *Sob *Sob *Sob *Sob *Sob

LV 14

MiaSilver

A good and progressive beginning, development of character is moving at a good pace, the switching of tenses here and there is a small flaw, otherwise storyline is good.

LV 10

WriterWen

If you're reading this review, then I guess you stumbled upon this novel by chance. Let me tell you one thing, fellow daoists: you will definitely regret not reading this novel! Even if you are not used to reading this particular genre, you'll still be immersed in the story because of the author's impeccable writing style. Add it on your library now and let's find out how Han Jing would fare in the app Races: Online! Good luck, author-sama! I'm not saying you should update often, but you should! 😅 We're waiting for the next chapters~ 🥰

LV 3

valiantxvillainous

Hello, this is your dear friend dropping you a five-star review to show support. I will read more closely and give a more accurate review and if you're reading this for that, please just skip this. I will say though, author writes quite well but needs to work hard on keeping up more stable updates. Please maintain stable updates. You can do it rach, I somewhatpartlyprobably believe in you!

LV 12

Baevida_17

You've got quite a good book there Rachy. And I am happy you were among those who won the contest. This book is awesome. I think this is the author's first gaming novel and she sure os doing a great job. If you haven't read, then I do not know what u are waiting for... Come on and read, good work author.

LV 11

_Rain

I love it!! I don't usually read this genre but I loved this. It makes me want to play games, lol😂😂 This is one great book, no one will regret reading this. Good luck for the competition, author❤️

LV 3

Trash_Senpai

Alright what to say what to say...Its great so far. The world is clearly described without going overboard and letting readers figure things out on their own. The mc is fun and can be relatable at times which is always a plus, the writing quality itself is great itself with the exception of a typo or two every now and then. All in all this looks promising and its definitely worth a read, at least from what I've seen.

LV 2

casualham

Finally starting to move! Can't wait to see what the world looks like! I'd love a little more regularity with the updates, but beggars can't be choosers XD

LV 14

Da_TuTuR

So, not really a review (for good balance i put a 4/5) because i'm just near the 15th chapters. Honestly the writing etc. is good but i lack passion for this one. I think the "sims simulator pov and writing" is killing me (i know for the cliffhanger about that). if it's like that all the time, I'd rather quit. If a charitable soul can answer me that would be nice.

LV 3

GreatNero

I don't know how to write a review. I don't know how to write a review. I don't know how to write a review. I don't know how to write a review.

LV 10

cvu1706

I stopped at chapter 3. When I started chapter 1, I really liked and enjoyed it and thought this might be a good novel I will until the end. Chapter 3 killed the story for me: - The MC's avatar race is human(insanely boring) and having only the choice of being human, mad the title of the chapter such a scum - The MC's choice of customisation(=basically no customisation at all) is already proving how boring the MC' character is that I have lost all desire of wanting to read anything further about him. I can't understand why the author chose such customisation, because for me, the charm of game avatar customisation is that you can choose to customise the avatar however you want and BECOME whoever you want in that game. If it is the same as your real-life self, then why bother even playing the game instead of just living out your real-life?