Bab 30: Snuggling

Katsuki dragged Izuku back to his house. There was no way he was going to let Izuku go back into that house where he tried to commit suicide. Not today. Not ever, if he had anything to do with it. He tried to keep Izuku from going back before, but the green-haired teen had refused to listen to him and insisted on going back. The blonde had mixed feelings about that. On one hand, the apartment held memories of Izuku's parents, but on the other, it was also the place where Izuku had tried to end his life.

The blonde bundled the both of them up in bed, squeezing the green-haired teen tightly. He felt bone-achingly tired. Today had been a rollercoaster of emotions. His emotions had fluctuated so vastly that it left him feeling drained. With how often he cycled between feeling fine and being mad, you'd think that he would be used to the feeling, but he had never felt as tired as he did right now.

All he wanted to do now was snuggle with his boyfriend in bed, and hopefully catch some uninterrupted sleep. Sleep had seemed so elusive for months. He even knew how to use foundation now. He would never call makeup girly again. Learning how to use it had been an arduous task.

Katsuki waited until Izuku's breathing evened out before cautiously pressing his ear to Izuku's chest. He listened to the sound of the slow, steady heartbeats, a sense of drowsiness overtaking him. He was slowly lulled into a sense of security as he calmed down, feeling safe as he pressed near the other teen. Izuku's heartbeats. Izuku's breathing. Izuku's presence. Everything meant he was still alive.

He was alive, and he would stay that way. Katsuki would kill any of those fuckers who tried to take his boyfriend away from him. Or semi-kill them, Katsuki corrected himself grudgingly. Izuku probably wouldn't be too happy if he really did end up killing them.

Katsuki scowled slightly, feeling like Izuku was influencing his every thought and action. He didn't know whether to be pleased or unhappy. It felt like his world was steadily evolving to revolve around Izuku's every action, and he felt slightly scared by this. He didn't think he would ever be okay without Izuku anymore. He still wanted to be a Hero, but if he had to trade being a Hero for Izuku's life, Katsuki would have given up being a Hero in a heartbeat if it meant Izuku was safe.

It was terrifying. He felt like he had been pushed up against the edge of a cliff, staring down into the abyss as enemies pressed up from behind. Katsuki bit his inner cheek, feeling nervous and terrified. The sensation slowly built up the more he thought about things, causing worry and unrest to build up within his heart.

Then, he felt a sensation across his shoulders as a weight pressed down. He jolted, out of his thoughts, his heart settling down. He felt like Izuku was holding his hand as the two of them stood at the edge of the cliff, smiling reassuringly at him.

That's right. They were in this together. Whether or not this relationship worked out was up to them. Katsuki didn't want the two of them to break up. Even if they had fights, Katsuki wanted to be reassured that they wouldn't break up. He wanted this relationship. He wanted to be committed. Even if they fought, Katsuki wanted to be able to make up with Izuku and work through their differences.

Katsuki smiled gently as he focused on the pounding of Izuku's heart, gradually returning to the feeling of peace and contentment. They still had more things to talk about, but Katsuki knew they would get there eventually.

The blonde's thoughts drifted off, his eyelids too heavy to keep themselves up anymore, sinking into a deep, peaceful, uninterrupted sleep.

Beside him, Izuku cracked open an eye and gave a sleepy smile, feeling warm. He was happy he was able to help Kacchan at least a little by being next to him. Affection bubbled up within his chest, causing him to feel like he'd returned home after a long and weary journey.

He silently resolved himself to talk to Kacchan better from now on. He wouldn't haphazardly jump to conclusions before he made sure that his feelings and thoughts had been conveyed properly. He loved Kacchan the most in the world. He didn't know if there was anyone who would love Kacchan as much as he did besides Kacchan's parents, but he hoped no one appeared in the future.

Kacchan was his. And he was Kacchan's. He hoped things stayed this way. Even if he knew it was selfish, until he knew for sure that Kacchan's feelings for him were no longer viewed in any positive light, he wouldn't back off.

Izuku squeezed the arm still across Kacchan's shoulders a little tighter, feeling slightly more reassured at the feeling that Kacchan was really still here in his arms, under the same covers. His heart seemed to fill with sweetness. He wished he could share the feeling with everyone in the world.

He hoped they all found love as well. Perhaps the journey would be painful, maybe even heart-breaking and bittersweet, but if they managed to find love in the process, then it was all worth it. Izuku had cried enough tears to fill an ocean in the process, but things were looking up now.

Kacchan liked him. Kacchan liked him. Kacchan liked him. Him, of all people.

He still felt like he was on cloud nine when he thought about this. He felt like he was floating on clouds, carelessly, carefree and unshackled, like a baby bird learning how to fly for the first time.

Now, all he had to do was somehow confess to Kacchan and ask him to be his boyfriend. Izuku felt nervous. He hoped Kacchan would agree. He knew Kacchan's feelings for him were only at the level of 'like' and not 'love' yet, but hopefully they would be able to get there one day. There was nothing in the world more beautiful than the feelings that he was experiencing at this moment.

Izuku took a resolute breath, silently mustering up his determination to ask Kacchan out. He wanted to be able to put a label on their relationship so badly. He wanted to be able to say proudly that Kacchan was his boyfriend, that Kacchan was off-limits.

He listened to Kacchan's deep breaths as he slept. Izuku reached out to touch the other's face, his heart squeezing slightly at the dark smudges under Kacchan's eyes. They hadn't been there before, and he hadn't realized that Kacchan had been suffering when he had left to train with All Might previously. Izuku felt guilty. He knew he was the one who had put them there.

When Kacchan had exited the shower, he managed to control his facial expression and not to show his shock, but the moment he appeared without what he assumed was foundation covering the dark smudges, Izuku had instantly known what had happened.

He never wanted to make Kacchan experience sleepless nights again. As his fingertips touched the slightly chill face, gently brushing the dark smudges, Kacchan's eyelashes fluttered slightly.

Izuku quickly withdrew his hand, scared of waking the other up. Thankfully, he fell back into sleep as he nuzzled into Izuku's chest, seeking warmth.

The sudden wave of love and adoration crashed over Izuku's heart as he took in the subconscious reaction that Kacchan had around him. Izuku basked in the endorphins that were rushing through him.

He listened to Kacchan's breathing like he was counting sheep. He fell asleep with Kacchan's peaceful face imprinted in his mind, giving him happy dreams for the first time in a long, long while.