Bab 2: Chapter 2
Chapter 2: Putting the Skeleton under the bus
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The repetitive clicking of heels on the stone ground was quite the nice ambient music. If I wasn't in deep thought, I would have found this sound grating to my ears.
The NPCs could talk, and Momonga knows about this. I wonder why he called the guardians though. Maybe he was making sure they didn't die off when the game turned into... whatever this is. Anyways, I continued to run more and more crazy theories about what was happening and the craziest one that I thought of was that the Tomb went to another world or something. I rejected that theory almost immediately because it sounds the least plausible and the most convoluted. I kept thinking of theories until I got down to one ending.
I got nothing.
If it's a DLC, they would've shut down the game. And since the game was supposed to have ended some ten odd minutes ago, I discarded the most likely theory. An overhaul in the system would be impossible, as YGGDRASIL is a game in which you can customize almost everything. Overhauling all of that would be take years, if not a decade.
But even though I can't use my console or see my skills, I can still feel them within me. It's an odd feeling, it's like somebody constantly reminding you that you have these skills, but not to the point of annoying. I would have to test my skills later in the Sixth Floor.
Ah, speaking of Sixth Floor, Mr. and Ms. Trap are managing them, if I'm correct. I asked Bukubukuchagama about them one time, asking "Why?" she answered me back with "Why not?" Smarmy bastard.
And well, would you look at that. The twins are fighting of a Primal Fire Elemental, what a surprise. Did Momonga put them up to this? I didn't know he could be such a slave driver, please have mercy on this vampire.
"Momonga," I called out to him from the gate. I found myself surprised because my voice was higher-pitched, but not to the point of annoying.
"Ah, Mercury, you've arrived." His voice was deep, matching his body frame. I honestly felt a little intimidated.
"Yes, now can I speak with you for a moment? I would like to talk with... private matters."
"Hm, very well then. Let us converse on the throne room."
"Sure thing."
He teleported out of the Sixth Floor, and I was left alone with two sweating, childlike traps and my Sins.
"Sins, don't make a fuss over here. I need to speak with Momonga directly."
"As you command."
After making them raise their heads, I also teleported into the throne room, with Momonga sitting on his throne.
"Are we alone now?"
"Yes, I checked the room beforehand."
"I'll make a second check then."
After scanning around for nearly a minute, I finally sagged my shoulders.
"What the hell was that?!"
"I don't know man! They just started talking and something!"
"Did the NPCs talk to you too or am I going crazy?!"
"They talked to me too! Are we both going crazy?!"
We kept panicking like headless chickens for a while. After Momonga calmed down so suddenly, we were finally talking business.
"So, you sent out Sebas, huh?"
"Yes. I want to make sure if we are still in YGGDRASIL."
"I think we still are. I hope we still are. If we're not, then this is a bad plot for a light novel."
"True. We can talk for another time, for now, let's go back to the Sixth Floor. We shouldn't make the NPCs wait."
"Agreed."
And so, we went back down to the sixth floor.
And so, Shalltear and Albedo are giving death stares to each other, whilst my Sins are arguing with Trap Twins.
"Everybody, stand down!"
Momonga's voice washed over them, making them stop in their tracks. Wow, he has an intimidation factor because of the fact that he's undead. Meanwhile, I'm using a suit of armor to hide my true face. It carries some intimidation factor, but not as much as a skull.
"You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Bickering and arguing like children, you are supposed to be Guardians of the Great Tomb of Nazarick. What excuse are you gonna come up with?!"
"Th-There are none, Momonga-sama!"
While Momonga was scolding them, Demiurge and Cocytus were walking up to them, taking their place among the guardians. Aside from Fourth Floor and Eighth Floor, all the guardians are here.
Wait, Momonga said Kyouhukou a while ago right? Why did he think he was a floor guardian? (My error, sorry)
"Good."
"Now then, everyone. To our supreme leader, the ritual of fidelity."
The guardians suddenly stopped lowering their heads and stood up ramrod straight. It was as if a switch was thrown, and their previous personalities are no more.
"Guardian of the First, Second and Third floor, Shalltear Bloodfallen. I bow before the Supreme One."
"Guardian of the Fifth Floor, Cocytus. I bow before the Supreme One."
"Guardian of the Sixth Floor, Aura Bella Fiore."
"A-Also guardian of the Sixth Floor, Mare Bello Fiore."
""We bow before the Supreme One.""
"Guardian of the Seventh Floor, Demiurge. I bow before the Supreme One."
"The leader of the Guardians, Albedo. I bow before the Supreme One."
They're all bowing, the absolute madmen. I need to give some respect to my friend, or else I'm gonna get some glares behind my back.
"Requip!"
My blade changed from being a bastard sword behind my back, into a rapier called Ceremonial Saber+10 on my waist. It's a cash item, but it has good stats compared to dropped weapons in the game. Compared to a hand-crafted item, however, it's absolute garbage. The pommel is a pointed spike, connecting to the grip. The hand guard is a simple curve connecting to the pommel, but it has intricate engravings of vines and flowers on them. The guard connecting to the blade is a half-sphere, engraved with the same vines and flowers design.
I drew it slowly, the light from the fake sky reflected in the Holy Saber's shiny blade. After drawing it completely, I raised it in the direction of Momonga.
"Warrior/Assassin hybrid Mercury. I use my sword for my leader."
The guardians all looked at me in awe, even though I did something completely humiliating. Good thing my face isn't visible, otherwise I would've been beet red and sweating bullets. My Sins noticed that I was also giving respect to Momonga, and followed suit.
"Sins of Mercury, Wrath. I bow before the Supreme One."
"Sins of Mercury, Lust. I bow before the Supreme One."
"Sins of Mercury, Sloth. I bow before the Supreme One."
When they said Sins of Mercury, I laughed manically in my head. Oh, how I longed for someone to voice my OCs and fuel my childishness!
"Aside from the Fourth Floor Guardian Gargantua and the Eighth Floor Guardian Victim, all of the guardians have gathered to bow down before you. Please bestow upon us your orders, Supreme One. We offer our complete loyalty to you."
"... Raise your heads."
His aura is so dark and depressing, wow. Even I can emit a better aura than that. For shame, Momonga.
"You all did well to gather here. Thank you."
"Your thanks are wasted upon us. All of us here have pledged ourselves to you. You may find us lacking, Momonga-sama, however, we vow to work hard and to live up to the expectations of the Supreme Beings that created us. We vow this to you."
"We vow this to you." They all said at the same time.
A period of silence followed.
"Wonderful, Floor Guardians! I am confident that all of you will be able to perform your duties without fail!"
The guardians, of course, were giddy about this. Are they those type of people who like their ego being stroked, or do they just think of Momonga that highly?
"Now then—"
Aaand they all deflated. Did I hit it right in the jackpot?
"—the Great Tomb of Nazarick is in an unknown situation. I ordered Sebas to survey our surroundings." He looked at Sebas, who was standing behind the right pillar.
And so...
"... Grasslands?"
"Yes, completely different from the swamps that surrounded the Great Tomb of Nazarick, I could not confirm a single building, human, or monster in a one kilometer radius."
"This is troubling news, but good work, Sebas."
"It seems that Nazarick has been transported to an unknown land for some reason."
Please don't be in another world, please don't be in another world. Please don't be in another world...(ad infinitum)
"Floor Guardian Leader Albedo, as well as defensive leader Demiurge."
""Yes!""
"Create a stronger information sharing system and bolster our defenses."
"Yes!" The guardians cried.
"Mare, is there a way to hide the Great Tomb of Nazarick?"
"I-It would be difficult using magic only. But, if we covered the walls with dirt and concealed ourselves with vegetation—"
"You want to smear the glorious Nazarick with dirt?—"
"Albedo, unless you have a better idea, keep quiet."
"Yes, I apologize, Mercury-sama."
I can feel some bloodlust suddenly being aimed my way.
"As far as I can tell, this is a plausible idea, but hard to accomplish quickly. Mare can do it all by himself, but it would take a while. A random mound would look out of place in a grassland, so we would have to make vegetation grow around Nazarick, which can also take a while, but would also look out of place in a grassland. What do you suggest we do, Momonga?"
When I looked over to him, he looked at me like I was some kind of god. I looked over to the NPCs and they looked at me like I was some kind of genius. Naturally, to throw off all responsibility, I threw Momonga under the bus.
"This is all common sense for us regular warriors or assassins. To hide ourselves in vegetation is one of the most common tactics in an ambush after all. Momonga is way better at large-scale concealment than me, as he is a magic caster who has a lot of useful skills on his fingertips. Don't you, Momonga?"
I can practically hear the smugness leaking out of my own voice. Momonga however was probably glaring hard at me right now, even though he has no eyebrows, while the guardians looked onto him for further continuation of the plan.
"Y-Yes, you are correct, Mercury. I think we should put dummy hills around the area in addition to hiding the Great Tomb of Nazarick with vegetation and dirt. Would that work, Sebas?"
Oh good, I thought he was gonna pass the responsibility to me.
"I believe we would blend in such a surrounding."
"Okay, then that is what we'll do. Afterwards, we will hide the areas we cannot cover with illusions."
"Y-Yes, I understand. Thank you for the support of my plan, Mercury-sama."
"It's nothing, Mare. I would have suggested the same if Momonga was not thinking the same as me."
Once again throwing him under the bus. I was pretty sure he would use magic any second now just to spite me. After calming down, he started to speak again.
"And lastly, I wanted to ask each Floor Guardian something."
Oh-ho, what's this gonna be?
"Shalltear, what kind of person am I to you?"
"A crystallization of beauty. The most beautiful person in this world!"
"Yes. And what do you think of Mercury?"
"A blood knight. Only he is worthy of standing beside you."
Is that what she thinks of me? That's kind of surprising. I'm not a blood-seeking warrior, you know? I'm just a blood-sucking warrior, there's a clear difference.
"Cocytus."
"You are stronger than all of the guardians, a man worthy to be the absolute ruler of the Great Tomb of Nazarick."
"And of Mercury?"
"A warrior that stands only below Touch Me-sama's skill, and an assassin who is certain of his target's demise."
I'm not that good, am I? I mean, my win/loss rate against him is 50/100 or 1/2. And all of them are close calls as well. I'm pretty sure there are some people better than me who can stand equal to Touch Me.
"Aura."
"A merciful leader who excels at foresight."
"How about Mercury?"
"A knight who will kill with no remorse."
"Mare."
"A very k-kind person."
I'm not sure if she confused me for Touch Me.
"How about Mercury?"
"A knight who protects his friends."
"Demiurge."
"A wise man who makes wise decisions and acts upon them efficiently. A man who truly fits the word 'inscrutable'."
"And of Mercury?"
"A man who ruthlessly abuses weaknesses in his enemies."
I feel honored and disgusted at myself at the same time.
"Sebas."
"The head of all Supreme Beings and a merciful leader that stayed with us until the end."
Wait, he was aware that YGGDRASIL shut down. YGGDRASIL actually shut down? Then where are we, in another world?!
"And of Mercury?"
"An honorable friend of Touch Me-sama who fights those who discriminate against non-humans."
"Albedo."
"The highest ranking of all the Supreme Beings and our ultimate master.—"
What a weird face you're making there, Albedo.
"—As well as the man I love!"
Waitwhat?!
"I-I see."
Waitwhat?!
"We'll talk later, right Momonga?"
This problem needs to be addressed immediately.
"Y-Yes. But for now, Sins of Mercury." They all stood up ramrod straight from their kneeling position.
"What do you think of me?"
"A powerful sorcerer."
"The leader of Ainz Ooal Gown."
"The friend of the Supreme Beings."
I mean, they're not wrong. But isn't that too short?
"And of your creator?"
"Ruthless."
"Lustful."
"Lazy."
"""But most of all, the man we three love!"""
WAITWHAT
"I-Is that so?"
BRAIN.EXE STOPPED WORKING
"Mercury, what do you think of me?"
BRAIN.EXE successfully rebooted.
"The leader of the guild I love. And an irreplaceable friend. Now since you asked me that, what do you think of me?"
We are definitely talking about this later.
"The counterpart to Touch Me-san. It's like you're him but darker and edgier."
I had a good chuckle before I decided to throw him under the bus later.
"I have heard all your thoughts concerning me and Mercury-san. Continue working faithfully in my name!"
A choruses of "Yes!" resounded.
"Let's talk again in the throne room, Mercury."
"Okay."
And so, we both teleported.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone