Overlord: Rei Shiba

LV 13

Left_Nut_Of_Madara

I feel like you underestimated how good this really is you put a lot of content in the first couple episodes in overlord and left room for crossovers in a non forced way with the 3rd wishes logic, the only thing i think you would have trouble with is when he trys to split from ainz after the creation of his kingdom i dont see a easy way to write that without it seeming like a forced betrayal or split unless you did somthing like a independent Organization like yukis adventures guild format from that time i got reincarnated as a slime and possibly limiting what you could do in the world of overlord overall it was great

LV 1

Bite_Sized_Hero

The problem with having an overpowered mc is that it kinda trivializes any conflict, making the story lack tension. Overlord battles this by having Ainz be a cowardly, cautious person stuck in a position where he thinks he needs to be perfect while being influenced by his new undead nature. This, plus the fact that Overlord is told mainly from Ainz's opponents's perspective, keeps the reader invested. The story plays out more like a horror story told from the perspective of the world's inhabitants, while occasionally coming back to the invader who accidentally inspires his pet monsters to conquer the world. In comparison, having Rei as the main character feels really lacking. He's got a plan for everything right from the start, so there is no tension. Most, if not all, of my enjoyment reading your story were his interactions with others. I really liked his dynamic with Momonga/Ainz and the way Solution acts around him. In fact, i think this would be a great story if Rei let Ainz do whatever and just behaved like the troll he is. More interaction, more conversations between him and the Overlord cast would be really interesting. And finally a question: Why does Rei keep his plans and history secret from Ainz? Aren't they friends? What purpose does this serve?

LV 1

Darkstel

There is too much tedious text and in fact, with the declared harem, all the forces of the character were thrown at one maid girl and the central ones were drained into the sewer. Even the very name of the story is hypocritical considering that your character dropped the Overlord title on the original. As a result, he actually performs the role of an eccentric clown. So whatever you say is really worthy of the title "Yeah, it's trash! "no more.

LV 2

Saturn_Crown

I would like to continue if the author gets inspired. ................................................................................................................................

LV 4

Fk_Fk

goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

LV 1

Tim_QQQ

my constructive criticism would be to write an actual synopsis and not a paragraph on how much you hate negative comments. only got so much time in a day, not gonna waste it on a mystery novel.

LV 1

NeaCambelt

Auteur à peur de momonga lol [img=nervous][img=proud][img=nervous][img=nervous][img=nervous][img=nervous][img=nervous][img=nervous][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]

LV 14

JoSauer

This is actually probably the best Overlord fic i have red ao far. Atleast the Overlord parts. The only thing i dislike is how you only realy started once they were about tonarrive in Ygrassil. A lot of the Overlord ff i like usually start a couple years pre game release and i usually find the game playing more entertaining than the Ygrassil part.

LV 5

Baneofthedragon

Ok i'll give my honest opinion. I always love your works and this one was good too but, its the world itself that is making it hard in my opinion. There has never been a completed overlord ff i have read. The world is hard to write i guess. Making a solid 100+ content for it would be very hard.

LV 5

t650825t

Gooooooooooood goooooood goooooood goooooooooooooooood oooooooooooood goooooooooooooooood goooooooooooooooood goooooooooooooooood oooooooooooood

LV 1

Max_I_4248

Badly. The story looks secondary. Even for fanfic. The hero is essentially just a companion without his own story. We see an almost exact repetition of the canon. And a new “hero” hanging around uselessly. Yes, he has a prehistory of some “achievements” in the past. As if they are showing how cool he is, what he has achieved... But it looks excessive, inflated and somehow stupid, arrogant. The main character of the story is somewhat like an over-praised selfish log. Which pulls behind itself the flow of the original history.

LV 1

AlastorGF

Sinceramente Me gusto al principio pero después de ver que la trama era lenta y el MC se la pasa quejándose de todos los npc. Sinceramente me aburrió y me molesto bastante los comentarios que aclaro NADIE PIDIO de los personajes

LV 14

Crus_reads

because albedo is not in herem ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓

LV 12

Shujinko_Josei

Say hello to the one who... Hello!! Are we going to review this? Yes, we are!! Can we just give it 5-star and left? No!! But we just did... LOL!!

LV 4

Will_Caruso

More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More [img=update]More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More,More [img=update]

LV 14

Demiurge_Kami

Honestly sad this isn’t getting updated. The story it self is great and your being to hard on yourself with its flaws. Being an overlord fan fiction that is done well with your own new take on it makes it that much better. the story is worth the effort to read and I even came back to it again for a second time. Hope you keep writing. 🙌

LV 14

GAMING_IS_MUST

5 star from me cauz it's already hard to find a decent overlord story but this is actually pretty good, great even. Just wish we knew more about the MC though 👍 👌

LV 11

_VOIDLESS_

Not one of your best work but its overlord so meh_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

LV 3

Idle_Soul

it's good,...................................................................................................................................

LV 14

Overloadvector

it was quite the interesting ride and i would not be opposed to seeing you continue it. that said one of the few things you COULD change might to be to give mc more screen time (i.e. allowing him to essentially show-off more). Really loved your summoning method though and that summoning of Merlin was a masterpiece!!