Bab 18: Eighteen
"I... I have a confession to make." Lucas stated hesitantly, hand unconsciously tightening around Elijah's.
"I think we've had enough 'confessions' for one night, thank you very much." Elijah said, shaking his head slightly in disbelief.
"Hey, I'm serious... It's been bothering me for like, the last twenty minutes now. I just need to get it out of my system," Lucas emphasized, eyes wide. Elijah figured it was one of those rare serious Lucas moments.
“Aw… It’s been bothering you for that long?" Elijah cooed sarcastically, making the other pout and shove him slightly, "Alright, alright. What is it?"
Lucas stopped Elijah from walking and pulled him by the hand so they could face each other.
"Okay, look. I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared. If it was just the two of us, I'm not scared of having a relationship with you. But when I think of everyone else... I just chicken out. I'm scared of coming out to the world about this, Elijah. Especially since everyone at school knows what happened between me and Noah. I'd like to say I don't care what other people think but... I do. Who doesn't?" Lucas sighed, staring down at the ground, "I'm afraid of how people will judge me. So... All I ask of you is to give me some time. I'm not ready to let everyone know yet, but I still want to be with you. I still want to do this."
Elijah's eyes softened as he took in the serious, determined expression Lucas had on and the little crease between his eyebrows. It was enough that Lucas was taking a huge leap outside his comfort zone by accepting his feelings for Elijah. Telling other people about it was a whole different story. They were just at square one, there was no need to rush into that.
"It's okay... I understand," Elijah said, "It's still so early anyway. Who knows, we might not even last that long. There would be no point then of having let everyone know."
Lucas smiled, "Thanks for understanding. Though, you don't have to be so pessimistic."
Elijah shrugged, "I'm not. I'm just saying anything can happen."
"Yeah… Let's just keep this between the two of us for now. And I promise you, someday, I'll let the whole fucking world know. Let's just... take it slow." Lucas said sincerely, taking Elijah's other free hand in his own.
Lucas could already feel it. This relationship was going to be different, and not just because of the blatantly obvious fact that Elijah was a guy. He couldn't explain it, but Lucas felt like he just needed to protect whatever they had, to let it grow and develop, and to give it everything in him. Even though this road was so new, so different, so exciting yet so scary and intimidating, he wanted to explore every nook and cranny of it thoroughly, slowly. To take in all the little details and appreciate them.
He just knew that this was special. That Elijah was special.
"Okay..." Elijah breathed. He could see how determined Lucas was to make this work, and he was also going to try his best. Even though he was awkward and didn't know a single thing about relationships, he trusted that Lucas wouldn't judge him. This was his chance to learn and experience something new, even if it didn't work out in the end. It was a win-win situation for both of them, really.
Lucas smiled at him softly before looking down at his watch. "Gosh, it’s this late already? I really wanna stay here and spend some more time with you," He said with a pout. Elijah shook his head and laughed softly.
"I can stay for a bit." He said, not minding the fact that he was going to miss out on some sleep because honestly he also wanted to spend some more time with Lucas. The elder smiled brightly and they started walking along the shore again, enjoying the soft night breeze and the scent of the sea. It was just so relaxing and all Lucas wanted was to stay there forever. Contrary to the past few days where his mind was just a huge jumbled mess, he now felt somewhat at peace. While he held Elijah's hand, it was all as clear as day to him.
‘Guy or not, I like him, and what I feel is real. And that's all that matters.’
Nothing really changed at school, aside from the occasional moments of eye contact and the shy smiles. Lucas felt like a teenage girl who was having her first relationship and he absolutely hated the fact that he loved it. They still bickered all the time for no particular reason but something about it was just different now, judging by the stupid smiles they had on their faces whenever they did it.
It was sad that they didn't have any classes together except for homeroom and dance class. Lucas, who usually checked out the hot girls in his class when he was bored, didn't even spare them a glance and kept thinking about when class would end so he could see Elijah again. He was filled with giddy thoughts of their relationship and how far it would go all the time.
He couldn't be any happier when lunch time arrived. This time, he sat right smack next to Elijah. When everyone was engrossed in their usual banter, Elijah could feel Lucas’ hand sneakily move towards his own underneath the table, intertwining their fingers together. He looked at the elder who was just staring ahead nonchalantly, talking to his friends as if nothing was going on.
It always made Elijah smile.
It went on for a week, and eventually the time came when the contact name on Lucas’ phone changed from "Elijah" to "Eli <3". His feelings were growing with each passing day and the tingles he felt all over when Elijah smiled that beautiful crescent-eyed smile only confirmed it. He was so smitten by the blonde boy it was almost ridiculous.
One day after school, when Elijah was walking towards the black car that was waiting for him, he heard his name being called. He swirled around and saw Lucas jogging towards him.
"Hey." The elder said once he reached Elijah, smiling up at him, "7 p.m. Tonight. I'll pick you up from your place."
Elijah furrowed his eyebrows, "Why?"
"We’re going on a date."
Elijah blinked. They hadn't actually gone on an official date yet.
"Wear something nice," Lucas winked, not waiting for a response, "See you tonight."
And with that, he walked away, leaving behind a slightly dumbfounded Elijah.
After a really long time in his walk-in closet just trying to figure out what to wear, Elijah settled on a maroon turtleneck and black skinny jeans along with a black coat. He thanked the Heavens for finally having decided on something as he was just one abandoned article of clothing on the floor away from texting Lucas and bailing out on their date.
Just when he was done dressing up, his phone buzzed.
Lucas:
‘I'm outside your house.’
Elijah opened the sliding door to his balcony and stepped out. Sure enough, he could see Lucas’ black Audi waiting outside his house.
Eli <3:
‘You're half an hour early -_-‘
Lucas spotted the blonde boy standing at the balcony and smiled, stepping out of his car.
Lucas:
‘Oh? Then why are you all dressed up then?’
Eli <3:
‘I was going to buy some groceries.’
Lucas:
‘Sure. While looking like a goddamn supermodel.’
‘Why the fuck you lying~’
‘Just admit you were excited to see me and you couldn't wait. Because I couldn't ;)’
Elijah blushed because Lucas was absolutely right about that.
Eli <3:
‘Pff... You wish.’
The blonde boy left the balcony and made his way down the stairs. Thankfully his parents weren't home so he was spared the interrogation session. They have been a little up his case these days, always asking him where he was going and what he was doing. It was annoying to say the least. Once he left the mansion, he could see Lucas leaning against his car, dressed in ripped skinny jeans and a black button up under a black leather jacket. He had to admit, Lucas looked really good. He wasn't aware that Lucas was also simultaneously giving him the once-over, appreciating just how hot Elijah looked in turtlenecks.
Lucas wolf-whistled, "You look nice."
Elijah internally let out a sigh of relief. At least all that time and effort was worth it in the end. "Thanks. You don't look terrible either."
Lucas grinned at having gotten a compliment (or what's close to one, anyway) from Elijah. He made his way to the younger and took his pale hand in his own, "Why, thank you. Should we get going?"
"No let's just stay here until my parents get back." Elijah said sarcastically.
"Very funny." Lucas scoffed, gently pulling Elijah along toward his car and opening the door for him like the gentleman he was. Elijah just rolled his eyes and sat down on the passenger's seat as Lucas closed the door after him and made his way round to the driver's side. Switching on the ignition, Lucas pulled out of the driveway and they were soon on their way.
"So where are we going?"
"Downtown. I wanna stroll around, eat at little restaurants and buy couple shit like every other disgusting couple out there." Lucas said happily. Elijah couldn't help but chuckle at how excited Lucas sounded. He was excited too, but he wasn't so transparent about it like Lucas was. That was Lucas Kim, never hiding his true emotions, heart always on his sleeve. Elijah, however, was the exact opposite.
"Thought you wanted to keep this relationship thing a secret."
"Eh, everyone will think we're just two friends hanging out. It's not like we'll be holding hands or anything... Though I really want to," He ended with a little pout.
Elijah chuckled, "And how are we gonna wear the couple stuff without anyone noticing, genius?"
"We'll get something that looks inconspicuous. No initials. If anyone asks we'll just say we were together when we bought them," Lucas shrugged.
"You really thought this through, huh?"
"Yup. I was actually planning on taking you out on some romantic candlelight dinner at first but then I figured that's probably not your style. And I wanted to make your first date special," He ended with a sheepish grin.
Elijah couldn't help but smile shyly. Lucas was really thoughtful, and he was right about the fact that Elijah wasn't into generic candlelight dinners. He liked strolling around the streets whenever he needed to get a breather and the thought of doing it together with Lucas actually sounded like fun. It occurred to him that Lucas really was giving this a lot of effort, and that maybe he should try to stop being so stuck up all time and meet him halfway.
"Our."
"Huh?"
Elijah's face flushed a bright red and he quickly turned to the window to hide his face.
"Our first date."
Lucas’ eyes widened slowly but he couldn't help the goofy smile that stretched across his lips. He couldn't tell whether it was because of what Elijah said or because he was so adorably shy about it.
‘Elijah Quinn, why the fuck are you so cute?’
Just as Lucas had said, the two wandered around the streets downtown, stopping every now and again to eat something or the other. Elijah noticed all over again just how talkative Lucas was, but surprisingly it wasn't annoying at all. The blonde boy liked his silence but he figured he liked Lucas’ smooth, melodious voice even more, even when he was talking complete and utter nonsense. Lucas was a mood-maker, always making ridiculous commentary about anything and everything he saw.
And just like every disgusting couple out there, they bought ice cream, cotton candy and matching couple key-and-lock necklaces.
"Here, look at these. You can have the key and I'll have the lock." Lucas said while holding them up, smiling.
"Why?"
"Because you're the key that opened the lock to my heart," He winked, making Elijah's face scrunch up in disgust.
"You're so fucking gross, Lucas."
Every now and then, Lucas would have this strong urge to hold Elijah's hand or just hug him, but stopped himself before he could. It was enough that there were already quite a few people around who were giving them weird looks but Lucas tried his best to ignore them.
Lucas would occasionally find himself staring at the younger for a little longer than he had to, just appreciating the work of art that was Elijah Quinn. Pale, white skin that glimmered against the moonlight, making him look almost ethereal. Perfect chiseled features and a sharp jawline, and not to mention a majestic ass. Lucas felt like he was caught in a whirlwind from which he would never be able to get out, and he didn't want out either. The more he looked at Elijah, the more he could find. Was there even a single flaw in the guy? He could stare on for hours and he wouldn't be able to find one. It was odd because even though he liked Elijah, he didn't think he would be able to find him attractive the way he would a girl. And yet, here he was, shamelessly ogling him while he wasn't looking.
Or when he thought he wasn't at least. Apparently people in real life had peripheral vision.
"Would you stop with the creepy pedophile stare?" Elijah retorted. They were currently sitting in Lucas’ car right outside Elijah's mansion.
"I can't help it. You're fucking perfect." Lucas blurted out without thinking. Elijah sighed and shook his head, moving as far as possible from Lucas on his seat. But there was a telltale hint of red on his cheeks nonetheless.
"Creep."
"Hey! I'm not a creep."
"You should have seen the look on your face. For a second I thought you were gonna molest me or something."
Lucas’ cheeks flushed, "I... I would never..."
Elijah face-palmed, "I was kidding, Lucas."
"Well make it clear when you are!" Lucas retorted, "You're not the type that jokes around much and when you do you look awfully serious."
"That's just my face."
"Resting bitch face indeed." The brunette muttered, more to himself than to Elijah.
"Take it or leave it," Elijah scoffed.
"Nope. After tonight, I'm pretty sure I won't be the one leaving you," Lucas admitted shyly, "The fate of this relationship is in your hands. Just don't give up on me yet, okay?"
Elijah's dark eyes bore into Lucas’ and he sighed, "I think I'm the one that's supposed to say that to you."
Lucas scrunched up his eyebrows, "Why?"
Honestly, this had been bothering Elijah for the past week, "I... I know I'm not very good at outward expression. I know I tend to come off as mean and indifferent sometimes but... I can't really help it. It's just how I am. I just want you to know that I really appreciate all you're doing, even though I might not show it. I know it's difficult for you."
Lucas couldn't help but smile, "Eli... It's okay. It's just who you are, and that's the person that I came to like in the first place. Don't ever think you need to change yourself. I like you just the way you are, nice ass and signature resting bitch face included," Lucas said softly, bravely lifting a hand to cup Elijah's cheek tenderly.
"Thanks, I guess." Elijah awkwardly cleared his throat, heat rushing to his face. Lucas had been a little too open about the particular liking he took to Elijah's backside and it made him somewhat uncomfortable, but also a little flattered.
"You're so shy, Eli."
"Don't make fun of me." He grumbled, pushing Lucas’ hand away from his face while the other laughed softly.
"So cute," Lucas cooed, making Elijah scowl at him, "Come, I'll walk you to your door."
"I can walk alone."
"But you have me now so you don't have to do anything alone anymore." Lucas winked before leaving his seat and making his way round to Elijah's side. Before he could open the door though, Elijah beat him to it and smirked at him. Lucas rolled his eyes and pulled Elijah along to his front door.
"So. I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow." Lucas said when they stopped right in front of the mansion's front door.
"Yeah, I guess."
"I... had a good time tonight."
"I wish I could say the same..."
"Hey don't be mean!"
Elijah chuckled, "I was kidding. I had a good time, too. Good night, Lucas."
Lucas smiled and, mustering up all his courage, leaned in and pressed a kiss to Elijah's cheek. The younger was taken by surprise and Lucas pulled away looking surprisingly shy.
"Good night, Eli." He whispered, scratching the back of his head and walked away quietly, a faint blush covering his cheeks. The blonde watched him enter his car and pull out of the driveway as his hand unconsciously came up to touch the spot Lucas had kissed, feeling his own face flush red.
Yes, he could definitely come to like Lucas.
Maybe he already did.
Hadiah
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