One piece: I am Crocodile!

LV 14

WealthyRaccoon

I like the premise but the world building, story direction and character motives seem remarkably shallow and poorly thought out. cannonically crocodile was in alabasta 16 years before luffy started his journey, in the arc there's even a sub plot where he spent years sending sandstorms at an oasis town to kill its water supply, if you're instead going to say he only arrived a couple months before you have to explain why he got there 16 years late. there's also this weird assumption that since the shichibuki are cannonically abolished the title is useless? what? it was abolished solely because of the disaster at marineford, just kill blackboard and a whitebeard commander or two and you're golden. using foreknowledge to shield both the MC and the author from derailing the story is kinda the source of most bad fanfiction. and although this is fanfiction and the standards couldnt get any lower but please just spend an hour in a Google doc planning out an overarching plot instead of just copying the source.

LV 4

KindOfSunny

Really like the idea Is there going to be any romance if yes who? hopefully its robin

LV 4

THOTSLAYER

This reads like a first draft with just the idea of what you want but none of the substance that a real book or fanfic would have. Its really not good. The characters have no depth, the story has no depth. The ideas are cool but it still reads like you wrote a draft looked at it for 2 seconds and posted it. The dialogue just zooms by with nothing actually being said. The "training" just happens, they are just suddenly stronger. You dont give the characters like Daz Or Mr 5 any real background or character. They are only all here for their powers. Your just writing for the powers instead of the characters or world. I hope you take this as criticism and not insult and improve. Have a great day.

LV 13

yoshikage_kira9

Shameless author here giving myself 5 stars.

LV 14

christian_pe

Why not 5 star? * Good story line * Good Ability For MC * BTW MC is not beta or third rate MC

[And if you made that theory that the crocodile and Luffy's mother who becomes a man would be so funny their internacional] ignoreignoreignoreignore

LV 3

rr21279

High expectations of this one✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

LV 1

Jordi_Hardiansyah

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LV 4

5ad

Please post more of this fan fiction it was great 👍

LV 4

Shame_xx_Pleasure

story is great its good there is some time skip if there is harem i hope it wont become like pokemon gotta catch em all

LV 15

TheHanged_Man

I don't like that he can use glass and sea stone sand but apart from that is a good story.

LV 1

vagavegta368

very very good, a great story, i just hope the romance side develops more ............................................................................................................................................

LV 10

Josefs012

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LV 11

Benoit_Valtin

author just to be sure, do you know that Crocodile is actually a woman? :D :D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D:D :D

LV 5

theratking88

mc is not too op well it's one piece what's more do you want \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\