Bab 439: Schmoozing Royalty
As the group of royals arrived at the front gate of Pangaea Castle and started to make their way inside, a young woman with her hair in ringlets and her nose tinged with pink was stopped by a firm hand on her shoulder.
King Ham Burger gave his daughter a serious look before saying, "Sandwich, I expect you to be on your best behavior. Do you understand?"
"I wasn't planning on being on my worst behavior," Princess Ham Sandwich whispered, words laced with sarcasm.
"I certainly hope not. I'm the chairman of this Reverie and the last thing I need is for you to get caught with some other princess in a broom closet!" King Burger spoke in a dead serious tone. "This isn't our own territory. We're surrounded by backwards thinking fools who unfortunately have just as much if not more power than our own country."
"I get it already. I'm not stupid," Princess Sandwich shrugged off his hand.
Her father felt like she actually meant her words, so he nodded in satisfaction. He adored his baby girl, but she really did have a penchant for getting herself into trouble.
As soon as they stepped inside the courtyard where the other royals were schmoozing with one another, Princess Sandwich immediately betrayed her father's expectations and made a beeline for some pretty princesses. King Burger briefly debated pulling her aside again, but now they had many eyes on them so he could only trust his daughter not to create too big of a mess.
'Maybe she just wants to socialize like a normal princess for once…' King Burger tried to convince himself hopelessly.
Meanwhile as a Princess Sandwich was trying to somehow casually speed walk towards a pair of total hotties, she saw the massive mermaid princess lean over them and audibly ask "Are you talking about Luffy-sama?"
The two human princesses jumped slightly as they turned to regard the newcomer. Princess Sandwich tilted her head as she slowed her pace a bit.
One of the merman princes started to whisper something to the mermaid princess frantically, only for the Dressrosan (she thinks so anyways) princess to ask "Did you say 'Luffy-sama'?"
"That's right! Do you also know him?" Mermaid princess asked. "I owe Luffy-sama, Cherry-sama, and they're friends a great debt!"
""So do we!"" the Alabastan and Dressrosan princesses agreed with great enthusiasm.
'Now that's interesting~' Princess Sandwich thought as she picked up the pace again and found herself standing right behind the two human princesses. The merman prince looked like he wanted to warn them to keep it down, but it was too late. "Are you talking about that famous rookie pirate from the newspapers?"
Princess Vivi and Princess Rebecca flinched, turning around with polite expressions, the latter of whom is obviously better practiced.
"Princess Sandwich…" Vivi said, clearly buying time to collect her thoughts. "I believe the last time we spoke was at the Reverie eight years ago?"
"That's right. Nice dodge, by the way," Sandwich smiled like a cat who found a new toy.
"Dodge? Did you fight at the Reverie eight years ago?" Shirahoshi asked.
'Oh, this one is good. If I hadn't seen you with that big ass trident at the port I would have bought your innocent act~' Sandwich was impressed.
Of course, Shirahoshi wasn't actually pretending.
"No, we didn't fight Princess… I don't believe we've been formally introduced!" Vivi latched onto the opportunity for a topic change.
"I'm Shirahoshi!" Shirahoshi gently shook Vivi's offered hand.
Vivi and Rebecca both formally introduced themselves. The merman prince, Ryuboshi, gave a polite introduction as well, but he seemed far more on edge than the ladies.
"And I'm Princess Ham Sandwich. My father is acting as the chairman of this Reverie," Sandwich said, delighting in how Ryuboshi stiffened at the declaration. She thought, 'Seems like the Ryugu kingdom is here for a specific purpose this time…'
"So did any of you four actually get to meet the Straw Hat pirates? I understand that they traveled through each of your kingdoms," Sandwich brought the conversation full circle back to the topic she wanted to poke and prod at most.
'Why are you so insistent?' Vivi, Rebecca, and Ryuboshi all thought behind their polite smiles.
"Oh, yes! Have you ever met them?" Shirahoshi blurted out without any thought for consequences.
'What game are you playing now?' Sandwich's eyes narrowed slightly as she tried to figure out the mermaid's angle in so casually admitting that.
Ryuboshi looked like he was going to have a stroke, whilst the color drained from Vivi and Rebecca's faces.
"I haven't had the pleasure of meeting such infamous figures, sadly," Sandwich said. "Well, except for Miss Harpin from the days before her first bounty. She had a ship constructed in my country, you see. The Cabernet, I believe."
Shirahoshi pressed her hands together. "I see! What was she like then? Was she as strong as she is today?"
Vivi, Rebecca, and Ryuboshi had calmed slightly, but now they looked at Sandwich with suspicion. After all, anyone could claim to know someone and if she was truly lying then Shirahoshi might get herself in trouble.
"Hmm, maybe not as strong as today, but I'm exactly a good judge for such things," Sandwich tapped her chin with a single finger, before an expression that wasn't appropriate for a princess crossed her face. "I'm a very good judge in bed, though. Let me tell you, she~ was~ a~ delight~!"
'Ah, there's the blushing. How innocent~' Sandwich marveled at the four beet red faces.
Vivi sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I never knew that you liked to mess with people, Princess Sandwich."
Vivi found it hard to believe that Princess Sandwich would know that Cabernet was really a ship and also claim to have slept with Cherry if she wasn't being honest. The former wasn't exactly common knowledge and, honestly, she could easily see that Cherry would have done… that.
"I would have messed with you last time too, if that brute hadn't stepped up and slapped you," Sandwich's eyes flicked to a certain someone in the crowd of kings.
Vivi followed her gaze and scowled. "What is Wapol doing here?"
"I'm just as surprised as you, but enough about him," Sandwich waved her hand like she was wafting away a stench. "Tell me about Cherry's pirate friends! Especially about those two beauties~"
"I think you would get along with Sanji-sama," Shirahoshi commented. Vivi and Rebecca nodded in agreement.
"Does he also have great taste in women?" Sandwich asked.
"You could say that," Vivi answered.
The group settled into a much more casual conversation after the tension died down and other people started to wander over to talk to them.
"Princess Vivi!" came the obnoxious voice that Vivi wished she could forget.
"What do you want, Wapol?" Vivi sneered.
"To apologize! I have been terribly rude to you on every occasion that we have met!" Wapol practically shouted. "I'm sorry about that!"
Vivi didn't know what to think about that. It didn't sound like a thinly veiled attempt to mask his contempt for her like the 'apology' that he had given her after 'accidentally' slapping her across the face at the Reverie eight years ago when she was only ten years old. It almost sounded, dare she think it, genuine?
"What are you doing, idiot!" the woman standing next to Wapol snarled at him under her breath. "Are you trying to embarass me?!"
"A man has to set his wrongs right, my sweet!" Wapol declared loudly.
Kinderella looked furious as she glanced around hoping that nobody heard him insinuate that she was the problem here, even if it wasn't his intention to do so.
"Wapol!" the person who approached this time was the king of the new Sakura Kingdom. "Stop bothering Princess Vivi. You've done quite enough of that already."
"Oh, Dalton! I need to apologize to you as well! Sorry!" Wapol waddled over to him.
"Heeheehee! I think Wapol here must have taken a good knock on the noggin!" Dr. Kureha said from Dalton's side.
"Dr. Kureha! I'm glad to see you're alive and well!" Wapol greeted her.
"What's that? You want to know the secret of my youth?" Kureha asked.
"Oh! Will you tell me?" Wapol asked.
"Get lost, punk. Heeheeheehee!" Kureha laughed in his face, taking a swig from a bottle of rum.
"Delightful woman, isn't she dear?" Wapol asked Kinderella.
"Sure…" Kinderella scowled.
Thankfully, Kinderella dragged Wapol away to talk to some "real kings", so they were no longer accosted by Wapol who waved goodbye to them as if they were actually having a pleasant conversation.
Bab 440: Trouble in the Holy Land
Although going from a member of CP9 to CP0 was technically a promotion, and one that paid quite a bit more money, Rob Lucci couldn't help but find the whole gig to be terribly dull.
His days were mostly filled with training or guarding the celestial dragons, the latter of which would legitimately drive him insane if he had to do it everyday.
Today, he was stuck guarding the lesser royalty of the world. At least when he was eavesdropping on these idiots they actually talked about things that were marginally interesting sometimes. The celestial dragons talked about the same mindless shit all day everyday; if he didn't actively tune them out, he was sure that his brain would start leaking out of his ears.
It was just as he was starting to grow bored of the lesser royals' conversations that something interesting occurred, right on time to break up the monotony of useless fool guard duty.
"Pupupu! Mermaid~ Mermaid~ Where are you~!" one of the uglier celestial dragons sing-songed.
Rob Lucci wasn't stupid. He didn't need to think too hard to know what was about to happen, and he couldn't be more thrilled about it.
Saint Charlos (he hated that he needed to memorize the names of every dumbass up here) was clearly planning to make a slave out of the mermaid princess.
"Should we try to de-escalate this?" Kaku asked from Lucci's side.
There wasn't all that much they could actually do towards that end, but they could at least put in a token effort. The authority of the Five Elders shielded CP0 from the whims of the common celestial dragons since individuals worthy of joining CP0 were rare; any complaints against a CP0 agent by any celestial dragon would have to go through the Five Elders before anything got done.
"No, let's see how this plays out," Lucci declined.
If he was lucky, he might get to kill King Neptune for the crime of rebellion. That would certainly liven up a boring day.
"There it is, Slave #3! Quickly put it in chains so I can take it home!" Saint Charlos demanded.
Slave #3 was a human of imposing stature. His size and burliness was comparable to that of King Neptune himself, so the task of capturing a similarly large mermaid princess was an easy one, he thought. His body was still covered in bandages from the beating he had taken three days ago, so he was keen to complete this task and divert his horrid master's attention away from himself for however long that would last.
Not very long at all by his reckoning, but he would savor every minute.
Slave #3 pushed his way through the still oblivious royals with no regard for their lofty statuses. As far as he was concerned, they were no different than himself; slaves of their celestial dragon masters. He cared not if he offended them.
The people milling about began to realize that something was happening when he knocked over the queen of the Tajine kingdom, spilling her wine across the front of her expensive dress. She let out a short shriek, but went quiet as she quickly put together what was happening and wisely fled to make sure she wasn't the center of attention. After all, if a celestial dragon took a liking to her world class beauty, there wasn't anyone who would help her!
Shirahoshi looked away from her new princess friends after hearing the shriek. Slave #3 was fast approaching her, and she was quite certain that she was his target. So she did the only thing that a dainty princess could do.
*SLAP*
Slave #3 staggered for only a second before promptly planting his face into the lawn, unmoving.
"Huh? What happened?" Saint Charlos uttered. Then his face twisted in outrage. "How dare you take a nap on the job!"
In Saint Charlos' mind, it simply wasn't possible that Shirahoshi could put up any kind of resistance, which only left Slave #3 to blame.
The royals in attendance, having clearly seen what just happened before their eyes, could only marvel at the willful ignorance of this celestial dragon.
"That was impressive," Stussy spoke up, walking up to stand next to Lucci.
"Mhm," Kaku marveled. To an amateur, that slap would seem like a lucky shot; but in reality, it was a beautifully executed palm strike across the jaw.
Even Lucci had a hint of a smile. It was too bad that Saint Charlos was too stupid to put the blame where it belonged, but that pig probably wasn't done yet anyways. He couldn't wait to see what happened next.
*Bang* *Bang* *Bang*
Saint Charlos kicked Slave #3 several times and fired his pistol into the torso of the helpless man. "Get up and get me that mermaid!"
Slave #3 was well and truly out for the count however, so he wasn't going to get up any time soon.
The royals in the courtyard watched with bated breath, not daring to approach or speak up.
"Someone get this useless sack of meat out of my sight!" Saint Charlos shouted, spinning around in search of whomever that someone was going to be.
A tall CP0 agent wearing a mask flashed into view, spoke a quick "Of course, Saint Charlos-sama,", then vanished with the body of Slave #3 as quickly as he had appeared.
Saint Charlos moved his attention back to Princess Shirahoshi. "You, mermaid! Chain yourself up and come with me."
Saint Charlos immediately turned on his heel and started marching away in a cheery mood. The sheer confidence that he would be obeyed without hesitation or question passed far beyond the point of absurdity.
In fact, he did not even notice that Shirahoshi made no move to do as he ordered. She simply blinked in mild confusion as she watched him leave.
"Shirahoshi, get over here!" Ryuboshi hissed in barely contained rage towards the celestial dragon. "We need to get you out of here before he comes back!"
"You aren't going anywhere," the voice sent shivers down the spines of the merman princes and the nearby royals. Rob Lucci was in their midst before they even registered his presence. "Saint Charlos-sama gave you an order. He won't be happy if you don't follow it."
Vivi, Rebecca, Neptune, and a few others such as Leo of the Tontatta Tribe and Sai of the Happo Navy were immediately outraged. A CP0 agent wasn't easy to stand up against, but it was much easier than standing against a celestial dragon. Though, the only reason they hadn't made a move against Saint Charlos was because he hadn't truly threatened Shirahoshi yet, so they still had hope of resolving the issue without making a huge mess.
"My daughter will go wherever she pleases," Neptune rumbled as he towered over Rob Lucci, an attempt to intimidate the smaller man that failed utterly.
"No, she won't. Is the Ryugu Kingdom rebelling against the World Government?" Lucci said. A bit heavy handed, perhaps, but the provocation would serve his purpose nicely.
Lucci spotted Saint Charlos marching back into the courtyard out of the corner of his eye, clearly furious.
"You dare to disobey me!" Saint Charlos shouted feebly, though in his own mind it was like a lion's roar.
'What will you do now?' Lucci smirked.
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