Bab 26: 26: The decision
~Laith~
I took a stroll on the shores by the lake. A rollercoaster of emotions racing through my body. The kiss caught me by surprise. I only meant to tease the second prince but once I got an inch of him, I took it further.
My feelings for the second prince took over. There was nothing to hold me back from fulfilling my long-suppressed desires.
With him within my reach, my hands struggled to keep off of him. I had no idea things would go that far. It was uncalculated. The biggest surprise of all was having Zephirin witness the kiss.
My emotions were all over the place. It was a struggle for me to keep the balance between what I was feeling for Caelan and the feelings growing in my heart for the deposed crown prince.
I convinced myself that I had gotten over Caelan but that was far from the truth. The tears I cried for him only aided in broadening the horizons of my feelings for him. I didn't know where my heart was. I could find it in the second prince and his older brother.
It made me feel guilty. To have my heart race and ache for two brothers at the same time.
I kicked the pebbles on the ground. Venting my frustrations out on them. Not that it helped as my feelings downed on me with each step.
How disappointed Zephirin must be with me. To witness me lock lips with another a few hours after I kissed him. It was appalling, to say the least. He had every right to hate me for what I did.
I wasn't worthy of his attention and concern. One moment I buried my face in his chest making tall claims of how he was the only one I wanted by my side. Only to turn around and lose myself in Caelan's arms.
The two princes were from two different casts of the world. Prince Caelan is warm and sweet but a bit of a coward. Prince Zephirin is dark, caring, and sweet but only to me.
When Caelan was terrified to embrace me and rather hide behind an alliance with the princess of the neighboring kingdom. Zephirin didn't shy away from protecting me and holding me. He cared about my feelings and my life. Went out of his way to shield my broken bits from the world.
My skin crawled with the need for his touch. His warm comforting words melted the darkness in my heart.
Prince Caelan made me realize the void in my heart. The emptiness in my life but both of them help fill it in their own way.
The cold breeze from the lake made its way to the shores. I hugged my body, sucking in a deep breath at the chill in my bones. I wanted to figure out what my heart wanted, and who my heart needed before I proceeded. The next step I take depends on the decision I make.
I strolled further and further. Pondering the issue in my heart. Getting lost in the thoughts of the two princes.
The kiss I shared with prince Zephirin was magical but I couldn't deny the passion that existed between me and Caelan. It was consuming me and drowning out the rest of the world.
"I love you, " the confession which flowed from my lips in the heat of the moment came crashing down at me. Like ice-cold water, letting me that I wasn't in charge of choosing which path to take.
Prince Caelan had chosen for me when he chose another over me. He chose to let go of my hand and here I was like a fool pondering whether to hold on to my feelings for him or let go.
Letting go was the right choice to make. It wasn't going to be easy to forget all the lingering touches and the whispers. However, I'll have to try. It is the only way I'll know for sure if it's possible or not. It's also the way that I can give Zephirin an open shot to have me. That too without having to deal with lingering feelings for his brother tugging at my heart.
I sauntered over to the courtyard. My eyes searching for the deposed crown prince. To get a chance to speak to him and straighten out any conflicts he might have over what he saw. I'll explain to him that I never meant to hurt him in any way with my actions and ask him to give me time to erase Caelan from my heart before I can open my heart to him.
"Incirion, " Sezian called out. I halted and waited for him to catch up. I hadn't had the time to get to know him since the kissing incident happened right after we were introduced and I had to run off to clear my mind.
"How did you find me?"
"I have super hearing. It's one of my gifts, " he informed me. I wanted to converse with him and find out more about his gifts, unfortunately, time was of the essence and I needed to find Zephirin and explain everything before he grew to hate me.
I averted my gaze from my slightly taller guard and stared up at the blue sky. The weather was way too beautiful for the day to harbor such unseemly events. My eyes took in the serenity of the courtyard. My vision landed in the open hallway of the second floor of the king's palace. My eyes landed specifically on my person of interest talking with an unknown male.
Zephirin had a golden mask covering his perfectly sculptured face. It was a different one from the one he usually wore, I would know as I had that mask tucked away in a secret cupboard in my room.
My curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to know who the man he was with was and what they discussed. I hastily turned to Sezian. It was the perfect timing for his super hearing abilities.
"Tell me what they are talking about, " I ordered of him in a firm tone.
"Can I kiss you?" the masked man asks the other male. Sezian reported, that my heart stopped. Before I could process Zephirin's choice of words for the strange man. The palace shook.
I was about to ask Sezian what else he could hear when I witnessed Zephirin wrapping his hands around the stranger's waist and leaning his head on the man's shoulder.
The man turned to stare at Zephirin surprised by his actions as I was.
"Why would you want to kiss me?" Sezian reported the man's words as I had requested. A question I too needed to know the answer to.
"Because you are my friend, " Zephirin leaned in and kissed the nape of his neck. The kisses started soft but they deepened with need with each moment. "You are the perfect distraction for me, I want no one else, " Sezian quoted word for word of Zephirin's explanation. My heart squeezed in pain.
There was only one thing I could think of that would force Zephirin to seek out a distraction, me.
I couldn't fathom the fact that my moment of weakness with Prince Caelan forced Zephirin into the arms of another. I quickly turned on my heels and dashed away.
Hadiah
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