Bab 170: CH_5.27 (170)
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"Are you nervous?"
Takuma looked up from the portable charcoal grill with chicken on its way to become delicious yakitori to Taru sitting across from him. It was Takuma's second last day in the village, and he was spending the evening with his friends.
Because they were all busy people and it was a weeknight, and Takuma wanted a break from going out every day to meet people, he had bought his charcoal grill and a ton of meat they could cook on the roof of the trio's house. The evening was cool, and the company was merry. Nothing Takuma could ask for more from his last days in the village.
"Of course," Takuma replied, keeping his eyes on the meat. "Unknown land, unknown people, unknown situation—everything about it makes me nervous. But I'm not averse to it all anymore. Now that it's decided, I'm focusing on what I'm going to do there."
"And what are you going to do there?" asked Nenro.
Takuma shrugged. "The first order of business is to get all cozy with my commanding officer. Nothing is more important than to get in the good graces of the person who can decide how my time in a foreign land will go. I just hope they're reasonable."
"That's my boy," Nenro smiled.
Takuma chuckled. He recalled the conversation he once had with Nenro about how to get on a chunin's team. It was only a few years back, but it seemed such a long time ago.
"I honestly can't see myself on the front lines," Taro commented.
"Neither can we," Ai said. "It's better if you stay behind a desk."
"Be honest with me; are they teaching you to torture people?" Takuma asked with a sly grin.
"As I've already told you a hundred times. That's not my department," said Taro.
"We know you're lying," said Ai.
Taro rolled his eyes.
Masaaki slathered the chicken with a special Akimichi sauce. "I don't think he has the stomach for it."
Takuma smiled as he tended to the meat. The sound of his friends talking and quarreling was comforting. Who knew when would be the next time he would have this again?
'Why are you getting sentimental, you fool?'
"Takuma?"
Takuma put on a smile as he raised his head. "Yes?"
"Those are done," said Masaaki.
Takuma looked down at the grill, and the meat he was tending was indeed done. He removed them from the heat and put them on the common plate.
He handed the tongs to Nenro and stood up. "I need to stretch my legs," he said while walking to the roof's edge, leaning against the railings as he gazed at the neighborhood. The scenery wasn't anything special as the building wasn't the tallest. At least the clear sky was full of stars.
"You don't want to leave, do you?"
Takuma glanced at Taro, who now stood beside him.
"Of course not," Takuma replied with an unintended intensity. "Why the fuck would I ever want to leave the village to go to a war? Fuck, I should've dropped out of the academy when I still sucked!"
He took a deep breath to calm himself down and looked back at the grill. Masaaki, Ai, and Nenro were still chatting around the grill, unaware of his burst out. He sighed and returned back to gazing at the stars.
"You had the option to defer the conscription. Why didn't you do it?" asked Taro.
"Because of my stupid career. War achievements and whatnot," Takuma clicked his tongue. "Would you have deferred if you had the chance?"
"I'm offended you even need to ask."
Takuma would've chuckled if he was in the mood. Taro was brutally honest with his desires when it came to work.
"Is your career worth it to actively put yourself in a dangerous position?" Taro asked.
"I want to say no, but yeah, it's important…. Ideally, it's supposed to be an unending cycle. The further I get, the more resources and opportunities I will have—and if you have those, you can use them to get further, which will get you more…"
"An unending cycle…"
"Yes, but only ideally; there's always an end. The reward of the cycle is strength and influence…. I want them both. I want to get stronger, and I want to be someone influential."
He was only half-joking about dropping out of the academy. No matter how miserable his academy days were, somewhere deep within, he always held the dream that now that he possessed chakra, he would one day become a super shinobi. The delusion of being someone special. But the reality was different. To this day, he couldn't get rid himself of the feeling of being on a small raft in a vast, unpredictable ocean where one incident was enough to drown him. The feeling had only become worse since the assassination attempt.
If he had known what he now knew, he would've dropped out of the academy if possible, lived a simple civilian's life, and lived his life to the fullest until his end, whenever that was.
But… that wasn't possible anymore. And he no longer wanted to be a civilian.
Takuma liked the current version of himself. He felt competent and skillful. He had more confidence in himself than at any other moment of his life. His identity was now attached to being a shinobi—that's all he knew how to be—it was what he wanted to be better at it. The payoff from improving at something was an addictive feeling. He felt good about himself. Being better than the next guy felt great.
"But by trying to progress, you're inviting more danger that comes with it."
"If you don't risk anything, you risk losing even more. Take the risk or lose the chance."
Taro quirked his brow. "Is that a shot at me?"
Takuma patted Taro's shoulder. "Risk leads to greatness, my friend."
"I'm plenty great."
"That you are, my friend. That you are," Takuma smiled. Just having a friend hear him out vent to release the bottled-up tension was a luxury Takuma was glad to have. "Now, my friends, what would you say if we were to indulge in some premium weed."
"Weren't you a Police Force officer?" asked Ai..
"I was… a deeply corrupt one. Let's have some fun!"
———
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"You didn't have to come, you know," said Takuma.
It was five in the morning, and the sun hadn't risen, but the sky had lightened. Because of Takuma's injuries and rehabilitation, his deployment had been delayed. His batch of deployed had already left, which was why Takuma was going to travel alone.
"I had to see you off," Maruboshi smiled.
Takuma had to leave early in the morning because of the distance, routes, and rest stops. He aimed to arrive at the base a day before his reporting date and familiarize himself with the location and people.
"Well… I was wondering if you could do something for me," Takuma asked.
"Of course, child. What is it?"
Takuma took out a tiny scroll from his pack and gave it to Maruboshi. "Can you give this to Uchiha Mikoto? Please do it so she doesn't know who it came from…" The scroll was a simple 'letter' written with a typewriter, so his handwriting couldn't be traced, and he even ensured through multiple drafts that his writing style was significantly different.
Out of everyone Takuma knew, Maruboshi was the most capable one for the task.
"Whatever is in this scroll, you don't want her to know it came from you?" Maruboshi held the scroll up.
Takuma nodded.
"May I know what it is inside?"
Takuma shook his head.
"It's better that you have no connection at all. You have to ensure that she or the Uchiha clan doesn't know that you were in any way involved. As far as she is concerned, the scroll one day made it into her hands, and trying to find the source ends up in a dead end. Can you do it?" asked Takuma.
If Maruboshi refused, Takuma would stop in a town nearby. Use the Transformation Jutsu to change his appearance and then approach a kid on the street to mail the scroll to Mikoto's home address from the post office in the town. This way, even if someone tracked down the kid, they would hit a dead end because the civilian kid wouldn't be able to see through a Transformation Jutsu.
The problem was that it might not reach Mikoto that way. Maruboshi could get it into her hands without a doubt.
"I will deliver this scroll," said Maruboshi.
"Thank you," Takuma smiled. "… I will leave now."
"Take care, my child."
They shared a hug before Takuma stepped out of the iconic gates to the original Hidden Leaf before it was expanded outwards as the population needed more housing and infrastructure.
With every step he took away from, the feeling of unease grew. He had left the Hidden Leaf plenty of times for hikes, wilderness stays, and missions—but this time, it was different. As he left, it hit him that he didn't have a home to return home to; he had been living with his friends as their guest for the past few days, but it was only then he realized that even if he turned back now, he wouldn't have a home to return; not only that, he had also sold a lot of his furniture and belongings.
His leave this time meant he wasn't returning for a few months at the least to a couple of years at most. No matter what, this was going to be the longest time he was going to leave the Hidden Leaf, a place Takuma considered to be his home and safe haven. Even after the assassination attempt, his opinion of Hidden Leaf hadn't changed.
But now he was leaving that haven…
Takuma wanted to stop and turn away, but he knew Maruboshi stood there and would see his hesitation. He couldn't let his teacher, the person he respected the most, see his weakness. He clenched his fists before raising his hands to weave hand seals for the Body Flicker Jutsu.
He pushed the discomfort away and pushed ahead.
The feeling would go away when he left Hidden Leaf behind, thought Takuma.
At least, he hoped it would.
.
———
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