Bab 2185: 53
Chapter 53: I Will Spit In Your Coffee
Chapter Text
Sam swore as the draw four wild card was slapped on the top of the deck by a viciously unrepentant Pietro. "Fuck, betrayal cuts deep man."
"Every man for himself." Pietro replied without missing a beat. "Draw four."
He grumbled as he drew the cards. "How is the assassin the only one who feels guilt?" Sam set down a blue two.
"Thor knows, but he's still beating our asses." Darcy muttered playing a 'skip turn'.
Bucky looked far too pleased with himself. "Card games are easy."
"I know you're cheating somehow." Sam glared at the brainwashed cyborg.
Daisy's eyes were bright as she played fruit ninja on her phone while leaning against Wanda. She'd taken the ban for cheating in good humor. "He played cards in WWII France. Man's clearly a card shark."
"Was Uno even a game back then?" Peter asked, his white eye slots blinking in confusion as he played his card.
Bucky's face didn't change. "If I told you I'd have to kill you."
"Ha! You did watch the spy movies I left at your mancave!" Darcy crowed in victory. Which was the truth if the slightest upward twitch of his lips were to go by.
Sam stared at the man. "Are any of them accurate at all?"
"No." He shook his head. "Well mostly."
Daisy looked up from her phone. "Ok you know the thing where you spread out and brace yourself using your hands and feet in the top of the elevator so the bad guys don't see you? Totally thought that would work."
"It didn't work?" Peter sounded actually disappointed by that.
She shook her head. "Nope, totally thought it would. Wasn't terrible, I beat the alien assholes up anyways. But they looked up surprisingly quickly."
"Craziest thing that's worked for you stealth assholes." Sam mulishly slapped a green four on Bucky's blue one.
Bucky paused. "Dropped a flower pot on a crime boss."
"So you can do stealth missions. No grenade launchers in the middle of the highway, reaching your metal arm through the windshield and ripping the steering wheel out of a moving car." Sam wasn't bitter at all.
Bucky just stared at him like he was being unreasonable.
Daisy piped up. "I faked having a suicide bomb and back talked the Hydra asshole who had a gun on me. Told him to walk into traffic, traitorous asshole. It was kinda awesome, only had a hulk toy in that backpack I strapped to my chest. But everyone was freaking out. I think one of the Hydra office octofascists actually peed himself."
"How do you always have more bullshit stories? How!?" Darcy stared at her sister in outrage.
Daisy looked confused as she looked around. "What? It wasn't like I was that trained back then. I couldn't control a room of Hydra bastards by myself."
"It's not that surprising?" Bucky asked, looking confused at the shock several of them were showing.
"No." Sam looked between Daisy and Bucky. "We're not doing some weird angst off."
Daisy snorted. "Please, it wouldn't be a contest." She held up her hands. "I concede. Did you forget who tracked down like half the digital evidence for the trial?"
"Thank god." Sam may be her therapist, but he was not prepared for her to use her various horrifying experiences like that. Her weaponized humor could have had that going very poorly. Well poorly for everyone else's sanity, and for her ability to sleep if she dregged up old ghosts for a game. "But seriously, how are you cheating Barnes? I know you are!"
Darcy played a draw two card with a cackle of victory. She grinned. "Well I can tell you that arm isn't holding him back. I spent weeks on that thing."
"Isn't your specialty engines and astrological equipment?" Sam couldn't help but ask.
She shrugged. "Well yes, but that arm is based on earlier designs. I just used uber nice materials, and streamlined the design. Sacrificed some of the strength, but honestly that's probably for the best."
"The lawyers were pleased the arm isn't a weapon." Bucky said bluntly. "They were worried I'd still be using my old arm."
Sam stared at the man. "Imagine that." The sarcasm was impossible to miss.
"UNO!" Peter shouted with unbridled glee. "Take that!"
"God damn it!"
////
Darcy looked over the work the Wakandian princess had done the night before. "What system are you using so you can realign the neurons?"
"My own, though realigning them from polymorphic to collectively, took six hours. Even now I'm unsure of what removing the Infinity stone would do to Vision. The readings I'm getting from it are impossible according to the laws of energy." Shuri swiped over to the readings she'd been getting. "Even now that I've disconnected it, it is still communicating with his neural pathways."
Darcy stared at the numbers. "Gonna be honest, my jam is so far from this neuro-robot surgery it's not even funny. But wow. I mean is there no cohesive element to the stone?"
"None that I can detect. Which means whatever is keeping it together is possibly unmeasurable." Shuri grinned, it was all excited impishness. "At least not with what I have right now. In a few years, who knows."
Darcy pulled up the numbers on her batteries. "So theoretically if I was going to turn these into energy bombs?"
"Very toasty aliens!" Shuri's eyes lit up. "Why haven't you removed the -"
Darcy thumbed through social media as she waited for FRIDAY to finish synthesizing the new Quake suit. "So Wakanda's force field tech is legit the coolest thing I've ever seen. Next level shit."
"It really is, using vibranium to create an electrically charged magnetic field is inspired." Tony looked like he was just resisting demanding the blueprints.
She hummed. "Drool worthy. We must befriend the Princess. She's like you, brilliant in multiple fields. I'd kill to get to do a project with her after this whole end of the world thing. Get on that Poprocks. Sponsor a Wakandian thingamabob. Bribe her with SI tech. I need her as a friend."
"Or you could just invite yourself to their secret science city." Tony was squinting through magnifying lenses as he carefully adjusted the tiny pieces of his newest suit. "Other than fangirling over a different genius, which I'm hurt Spawn, did you need something?"
Darcy arched a brow as she stared at him. "Checking up on you. Which, when was the last time you showered?"
"Some of us have more important things than game night." His frown deepened as he kept...actually he might be trying to get something unstuck from a seam in the gauntlet.
She rolled her eyes. "Please, preventing mass panic. Civilians don't need to be freaking out about a nebulous 'soon' for when an alien invasion is going to get here. Also Wanda was going to fry Steve if the media settled on him as who was dating Daisy."
"What?" Tony actually looked up. He snorted at whatever he saw on her face. "It had nothing to do with trying to make your sister happy, publically leaving a heavier link between her and the Avengers and some displaced guilt over how miserable a certain Witch has been for the last three months?"
Darcy shrugged. "Ow, but fair." She waved a hand. "It's also practical and the media is eating that shit up this morning. I'm only like 60% clear on the reasoning but everyone seems pretty enamoured with them."
"Survival, like insects mimicking their predators out of self defence." Tony paused. "Should I be concerned my daughters are terrifying?"
Darcy stared at him, bemused. "Well we are yours. A certain level of natural fear is to be expected."
"Huh." He leaned back looking at her. "So Pepper and I have been talking about maybe having another little teacup person. Maybe name it after her eccentric uncle Morgan. Is that a type of thing that I should talk to you kids about first?"
She noticed the jittery nerves he was trying to hide, probably thought he had hidden. "And Pepper is interested in helping create a new Stark?"
"I think I'm convincing her." He was smug. "I had this dream, it was so real."
Darcy felt a rush of affection for her father. "Yeah? Well you'll want to tell Daisy and Peter before there's a bump. Actually before conception ideally, Daisy can feel heartbeats and will fuck with you if she realizes what's up before you tell her."
"She'd totally give a speech about how glad she was I'd never think of replacing you all." Tony bit back laughter. "Get the Kid to tear up to really hone in on maximum guilt."
Darcy nodded. "Totally. Probably get you sympathy gifts for Pepper 'cheating' on you."
"Sounds about right." Tony straightened, his back popping. "So what actually brings you to my lair?"
Darcy thrust a health shake at him. "Nutrition and demand you take a nap. We can't have the leader of the Avengers passing out. Pacing is important."
"Fine, where is the Kid? I'd expect you to have brought him. His puppy eyes are lethal. Give him a couple years and he'll be drowning in ladies."
Darcy laughed outright. "Please he's got the opposite of charm. Kid's a mess of social anxiety. Also gross. And he's on a field trip to MOMA. Or will be going on one. It's super early."
"I get how I'm responsible for you, and Daisy's such a mess it's obvious she's a Stark. Hell you've both got the charm. But the Kid is...he does his homework and does not skip school." Tony's face was amused as he took the health shake and sipped at it.
Darcy grinned. "Peter's definitely a mystery of genetics. His mom must have been some lady."
////
Amanda had felt like she was having an existential crisis since she'd woken up to the two new videos that morning. The video of a truly hilarious game of Uno, a Monopoly board being fed down a garbage disposal after some wild cheating and the honestly adorable game of charades had been great. Cute, adorable, humanizing. She'd have normally watched it a dozen times, maybe made some gifs, joined the twitter threads of other fangirls squealing about the various superheroes in it. Generally a good time. A great distraction from her shitty apartment she shared with four roommates, her course load, adult bills and chores, and her aching feet from working two jobs. Superhero drama got her through her days.
However the second video….or rather the first video. Whatever, the one of Quake and Scarlet Witch making brownie sundaes had been…..yeah she'd recognized them. She may have considered smothering herself out of sheer horror. Dear god her friend and work wife was fucking Scarlet Witch! And had been listening to her blather on and fangirl about Quake...her actual girlfriend. Kidnapped in the Middle East? That apparently was code for alien abduction.
Every step was like walking through molasses as she remembered in vivid detail the ridiculous things she'd said. Amanda screeched to a stop, the people walking behind her swearing as they dodged walking into her. She heard none of it. The adorable teenager who stopped by to say hi to Wanda….the one who was the little brother of her girlfriend…. Holyshit. That was Spiderman. He was a baby!
Amanda wished a hole would open up and swallow her. She'd said he would be hot hadn't she? Just thinking about it made her feel gross. No wonder Quake...Daisy, her name was Daisy, was actually murderous when it came to protecting him. He was a high school freshman!
Actually….Quake badass and James Bond with superpowers was named Daisy...like the pretty dainty flower. And Wanda...social justice nerd, who totally wanted to settle down with 2.5 kids and a picket fence was an Avenger. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. Amanda started laughing hysterically.
Amanda grabbed Wanda's arm and hauled her into the storage room. "You're a fucking Avenger bitch?! What the fuck!"
"Oh." Wanda's head tilted to one side. And oh that slightly spaced out yet still focused look was probably mind reading. Fuck.
She raised her eyebrows. "Yes 'Oh'! And are you reading my mind?!"
"Your mind is rather shouting, but I'm not, more reading your emotions." Wanda stared at her with the oddest expression. "You're not as upset as I was expecting?"
"Not upset!?! I'm having a panic attack you asshole! You're a fucking Avenger and you didn't think to mention that? That it might be relevant information!? I've been making a fool of myself and you didn't think to let me know? What the hell!? I should be hyperventilating! I am hyperventilating in my soul! You're my friend! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WARN A BITCH!" Amanda babbled at her friend...who was an Avenger. Jesus christ what the fuck?
Wanda lunged forward and hugged her so tightly it half drove the air out of her. "I think of you as a friend too."
"Uh…" Amanda awkwardly hugged back. What was happening? "Of course we're friends. Though how I ended up friends with an Avenger I don't fucking know. I have so many questions!"
Wanda laughed as she pulled back, wiping quickly at her eyes. "Right, sorry. I just was worried you'd take it badly."
"You let me talk about who I shipped your girlfriend with!" Amanda blanched in horror at just thinking about it. "You let me talk about who I shipped her with in front of her! Oh god she has to hate me."
Wanda laughed, her eyes bright. "Daisy likes you. She thinks you're a fun person and was encouraging you to do so because she thinks it's funny to watch me twitch."
"Excuse me?" Amanda blinked at the thought her making a fool of herself hadn't made her personal hero hate her.
Wanda sighed. "Daisy is sarcastic and enjoys making people feel left footed in conversation. She also will undercut people to make them feel stupid or look incompetent. There's a difference. If she's just teasing it means she likes you. If she actually dislikes you it's...not hard to tell."
"That's not as comforting as I think you think it is." Amanda was relaxing though. Her personal hero didn't hate her. "Wait does that mean I was calling your friend a slut when I was being awful about Darcy Stark?"
Wanda's lips twitched. "Yes, but Darcy can take care of herself and was quite clear she didn't want me giving people nightmares for speaking badly of her. If she'd really wanted to make the rumors stop she could have. And you didn't really have enough information to not make terrible assumptions. Although generally it's actually weirdly fun to hear what normal people think of everything." She set her hands on Amanda's shoulders. "Breathe, you're ok. It's not that big of a deal."
"You're an Avenger!" Amanda closed her eyes and did take a big breath. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
Wanda sighed. "Maybe? I honestly was expecting you to figure it out when I ditched you with my books and then showed up on an alien spaceship fifteen minutes later."
"You don't expect your batista friend to be a superhero!" Amanda stared at her. "But...your disguise is a ponytail? That...shouldn't have worked. How does that work?"
She shrugged. "Honestly I have no idea. Daisy and Natasha talked about the fake tattoo drawing attention away from my face and the lack of red helping but...I have my accent, my name. I don't know. You're the first person to notice."
"That's...ridiculous." Amanda found herself saying.
Wanda nodded sagely. "It really is."
"We're going to get in so much trouble if we don't get out there." Amanda narrowed her eyes. "I still have some questions?"
Wanda smiled. "Yeah I can answer some questions while we work."
Amanda wiped down the baked goods case. "Ok so how did you two really meet?"
"She and her brother broke into my apartment to stage an intervention after Lagos." Wanda rolled her eyes. "I was then given a slushie and pizza while Darcy laid out a media plan and why it was important."
She laughed knowing her friend hated junk food. "Seriously?"
"They're ridiculous. The three of them are attached at the hip." Wanda's face did this adorable thing, it was all soft and full of affection. "I don't know what would have happened to me without them. It was like...this breath of fresh air. I was allowed to be myself. And Daisy is powerful enough that it was safe to use our abilities to train together. It was...they offered friendship. I think it was kind of inevitable I fell in love with her."
Amanda sighed, she'd realized having seen them the day before and in the video of them dancing in the kitchen. "You two are the disgustingly adorable and soft type of couple aren't you?"
"So I've been told." Wanda just looked amused. "But I think the type of romantic hijinks my brate and Darcy get up to must be exhausting. Shouldn't you feel safe and content with the person you are with?"
Amanda sighed. "So romantic...so jealous. This is a you thing and not a queer thing right?"
"I think it's a common sense thing. But who knows." Wanda brushed a stray curl out of her face.
Amanda frowned. "If Wakanda thinks they could help Barnes with his mental blocks and shit why doesn't he let them help?"
"He's not desperate enough to allow them into his head." Wanda sipped at her drink as they both leaned against the back counter. It was the usual lull, a few people were at tables, but no one was really paying them any attention. And they wouldn't unless they wanted more. In another hour business would pick up. For now though they had the chance to take it easy.
Amanda nodded slowly as she considered that. "And there is the trial still. I guess that makes sense." Her head tilted. "So ok, does this mean we can actually have study breaks in your apartment and not the public library now? Cause I need snackage while I study and my apartment is a cesspit and that librarian hates me."
"Yes, but I think you're going to have to finish the shift on your own." Wanda started untying her apron.
She frowned. "Wait, what? Why?"
"There's screaming people in the streets." Wanda set her apron down and undid her ponytail.
Amanda's head snapped forward. She stared at the panicked people running past the glass front of the building. "Fuck." She stepped forward grabbing the baseball bat out from under the counter. "ATTENTION CUSTOMERS! You may take refuge in the store room! BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T BREAK THE SNACK MACHINE BACK THERE OR I'LL SPIT IN YOUR COFFEE!"
"I'm glad you befriended me." Wanda smiled, her eyes amused. And then she was striding past panicked coffee customers and out into the street. Then instead of running with everyone else she took off at a jog towards whatever was sending screaming people past their window.
Amanda groaned. "Does anyone know what we're dealing with?"
"Uh…" One of their regulars Katie held up her cellphone. "Twitter says a giant space ship that looks kinda like a metal donut….is Wanda going to be ok? Why did she just run towards the danger?"
She kind of felt like laughing at that. "Wanda will be fine. Now help me get the curtains down. I don't want to have to clean up broken glass." So her kinda maybe best friend was an Avenger off to go Avenging. It was New York and aliens were real. Weirder things were happening.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone