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My Mask
Penulis: MoonDragonWolfe3
Peringkat tidak cukup
Telah dibaca Di Pustaka Tambahkan ke pustaka
Ringkasan
Naruto
Reincarnated system!
When I walked into the living room I saw a man with glowing green eyes sitting on the couch and my mother and father dead on the ground at his feet. The man said to me 'I've come for my sweet little kitty kitty'
BL don't like don't read its not for you! Mentor Kakashi, OC/Itachi
No One 17 and Under Admitted
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone Anda Mungkin Juga Menyukai
2Ulasan-ulasan
- Kualitas penulisan
- Stabilitas Pembaruan
- Pengembangan Cerita
- Desain Karakter
- Latar Belakang Dunia
Bagikan pikiran Anda dengan orang lain
Tulis ulasan
LV 14 ![Badge]()
Loving the first chapter so far and looking forward to see what you have written so far and looking forward to see what you do with the story!
The best Review advice I can give the writer is to look over the words again to make sure they are spelled correctly. Like the word cool was spelled as 'kool' in this story, it sounds right but isn't spelled right so it kind of throws the story off a bit for the readers. I like the story but I think it may be moving a bit too fast, like, slow down and try to use descriptions more. Try not to just gloss over things like the bloodline creation, it could have used more descriptions - readers like me enjoy reading the options provided to the MC and what the MC will choose. Thanks for the story!