Bab 12: Drunk.

Then again, why the hell should I care about the man who broke my heart? I told myself, slamming the phone on the table. After all, Ace was not a child that I should worry about. He was old enough to look for himself - he was old enough to have an affair and demand a divorce.

His issue with Angela is none of my business. I don't care if they had a fight.

I turned away from the phone, deciding to have a refreshing bath. I've been stressed out since morning. Perhaps, a soak in warm water will help ease some of my stress.

I walked to the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water, placing the wine and cake carefully at the side of the tub so I could enjoy them while soaking.

Once the tub was almost full with warm water, I turned off the faucet and poured moisturizing milk with honey into the tub to soothe my tired skin. As an added luxury, I sprinkled red rose petals on top of the bath water.

I stripped off my clothes and they fell into a heap on the floor. I had nothing on except my undergarments while I faced the full length mirror. The woman I saw in the mirror was thin and tall, but she wasn't the type that any man will brag to his male friends during Boy's talk. Her looks were plain, her skin was alabaster white, her lips were thin. Overall, she resembled a ghost with her appearance.

"You're not ugly, Phoenix. You just don't know how to dress up and put makeup on to make yourself look beautiful." I said determinedly to the woman in the mirror. "You devoted your life to taking care of the people around you that you forgot about yourself. But that stops today, you're going to make yourself your own priority from now on."

I stared at my mismatched eyes.

Even as I said all this, an insidious voice inside my head started insulting me.

'Not only are you ugly, your eyes are weird too. Your mother says they are beautiful, but that's because she's your mother. Everyone else you met has hated those eyes of yours!'

Tears gathered at the corner of my eyes as I recalled how I had been bullied because I wasn't like everyone else. I was called weird, exotic, and sometimes abnormal for being me.

I used to hate my eyes since everyone hated them. But one day, I realized that it was better to have unique eyes than to have nothing at all. Blind people will do everything to have eyesight. I should not take for granted what others are dying to have.

"I was blessed to have a pair of rare eyes that allowed me to see the beauty of the world and I should never be ashamed of them." I said firmly to myself, silencing the nasty voices in my head.

My fingers pulled away the hair tie, freeing my midnight black hair. It tumbled past my waist.

But instead of looking like a seductress, I ended up looking like Sadako, an unappealing ghost straight from the well. I shook my head and turned my gaze away from the mirror. I didn't want to look at my reflection anymore. I am who I am, and staring at the mirror won't change anything.

Finally, I stripped off my undergarments and climbed into the tub to enjoy a bath. I purred like a wild cat when the warmth of the milky water engulfed my body as the song Love Is A Bitch played on my phone. 'This is the most satisfying soak I ever had', I thought as I took a huge bite of the red velvet cake from the fork.

After Mom's death I felt so down but now, the stress that had been building up inside me decreased a bit.

My fingers eagerly brought the wine to my thirsty lips and I took a series of big gulps, as if I was drinking water not wine. My toes curled with pleasure as the addictive bittersweet taste of wine traveled down my throat.

At this moment I just wanted to forget all my problems and pretend they didn't exist. I deserved a moment of peace before I face reality again.

When I finally put down the bottle of wine it was already half empty. I felt my head spin and my vision was beginning to blur. I had low alcohol tolerance and the wine from the hotel was strong and it was immediately taking effect on my system.

Not wanting to waste food, I finished the remaining cake on the plate and only put it down when only the icing remained.

"I swear you will regret divorcing me, Ace!" I yelled out to let my frustrations out. "Do you think Angela is better than me? Just wait until you see her true colors, and you will drop her like a hot potato just like what you did to me!" I wished that Ace could hear me, so he would at least know how I felt.

I laughed hysterically and grabbed the bottle of wine, drinking until I finished the very last drop. My cheeks were hot and it felt like fire was coming out of my breath too. Is this how it feels to be drunk? I didn't know but it made me feel better because for the first time in my life, I didn't need to care what words came out of my mouth.

Soon I found myself singing and it was so out-of-tune that it could break glass windows, but I just couldn't stop. I was singing at the top of my lungs, wondering why I wasn't arrested yet by the police for disturbing the peace.

After a while, my throat was hoarse and I got tired of singing. Finally I emerged from the tub like a drunk goddess. I nearly slipped when my feet touched the wet floor but luckily I was able to grab on the tub to keep my balance. I rinsed the bubbles sticking on my body under the shower.

The sweet scent of milk, roses, and honey still lingered on my skin. The scent was so relaxing that it made me want to sleep, and I was so ready for bed.

I emerged from the bathroom, sloppily wrapping a scanty bath towel around my naked body. Who cares if anyone saw me? I was alone in my room.