Bab 1757: -1738- How?
As time steadily passed, the start of the BoB (Bullet of Bullets) tournament drew ever closer.
While Rozen was busy calming Asuna and the others, in a Tokyo café, Sinon was also sitting with a cup of coffee in her hands, gazing at the pedestrians outside the window, lost in thought.
"Asada-san... Asada-san... Asada-san!"
After some time, this voice reached Shinon's ears.
"Ah!"
Shinon finally snapped out of her thoughts and looked at the person across from her.
Sitting there was Shinkawa Kyouji, wearing an expression of helplessness.
"What were you thinking about, Asada-san?" Kyouji asked, concern evident in his eyes.
"I... I wasn't thinking about anything!"
Shinon gave Kyouji a forced smile and denied it, but her denial only deepened the worry in Kyouji's eyes.
"Since I invited you out today, you've been zoning out like this several times, staring blankly at the scenery outside the window, unlike your usual self." Kyouji hesitated for a moment before continuing, "Did something happen? If there's anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to tell me."
Kyouji's tone was as warm and close as ever.
This made Shinon silently blame herself. Her unusual behavior had caused Kyouji to worry.
In fact, Shinon herself knew that she wasn't acting like her usual self—normally so straightforward and aloof.
But she simply couldn't help it.
Once again, her mind replayed the conversation from yesterday.
If I didn't kill them, they would kill me—or worse, the people around me.
That boy had declared this to her directly.
"That's why I must kill, no matter what. Even if I had to do it again, I would make the same choice."
These words stirred up waves in Shinon's heart, waves that refused to settle.
Because these words resonated deeply within her.
(Back then, wasn't I the same...?)
The result was who she was now—a girl who had to constantly fight to overcome her deepest weakness.
But Shinon was just like Rozen.
Even if she knew things would turn out this way, if given another chance, she would still make the same choice.
The reason was simple.
(If I didn't, I would be the one killed next, or worse, the people around me...)
So, aside from having to kill, no matter what, just like Rozen, did she have any other choice?
No, she didn't.
Thus, Shinon had no regrets about the choice she made back then.
Except for one thing, just one thing...
(If only someone could understand...)
This thought crossed Shinon's mind multiple times.
Over the years, many people had told her, "I understand. It must have been so painful. You've been through so much."
But as she listened, she couldn't help but mutter silently in her heart:
"Have you ever killed anyone?"
If not, how could they possibly understand?
This made it hard for Shinon to trust others, leading to her solitary and distant nature.
But now...
(If it's him...)
If it's that man who could say words that resonated so deeply with her, then he would surely understand.
Understand just how much pain she had endured.
This was why Shinon couldn't help but follow him and talk to him back then.
Even now, she still wanted to talk to him again.
To ask him—since he never regretted it and would still make the same choice if given another chance—how did he manage to remain so composed, unlike herself, who developed such a shameful weakness?
Was it because he was strong?
It had to be.
It was precisely because he was so strong that he could overcome such things and stay calm even while fighting in that death game.
So, the question was:
(How can I become as strong as him?)
This thought consumed Shinon's mind, causing her to space out so many times today.
(How can I...)
Lost in thought again, Shinon didn't notice the increasingly concerned look in Kyouji's eyes.
Amidst his growing concern, a pained emotion also surfaced in Kyouji's gaze.
Unable to hold back any longer, he murmured:
"...Is it because of him? Is he the reason you've been acting so strange, Asada-san?"
"Huh?"
Shinon was momentarily stunned.
Kyouji's gaze grew even more pained as he looked at her.
"I'm worried," he said in a low, dejected tone. "Because you're not acting like yourself. I feel like you might run away to some far-off place at any moment."
Hearing this, Shinon felt a bit uneasy.
This was no longer a conversation one would have with just a friend.
Shinon felt that Kyouji wasn't simply longing for her as a friend but seemed to desire something more from her.
This left Shinon feeling somewhat uncomfortable.
She could only respond evasively:
"Where could I go? I'm still right here, aren't I?"
Her words carried a hint of feigned ignorance.
However, this only made Kyouji's gaze grow even more intense.
"I just hope you stay as your usual self," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "That cold and aloof person who doesn't waver at anything and is always so strong."
"...Is that so?" Shinon averted her gaze and said softly, "Maybe you've got it wrong. I'm not strong at all."
At this point, her tone became somewhat somber.
"You know it too, right?" she said quietly. "I have a fatal weakness that I can't call strength. As long as that weakness exists, I'll always just be the me who's stuck in the past."
Shinon rarely revealed her innermost thoughts.
But Kyouji's reaction wasn't what she expected. Instead, he became even more passionate.
"But the you in the game is different!" Kyouji said urgently. "In the game, you can freely wield powerful weapons. You're one of the strongest snipers! Even though I was the one who introduced you to GGO, you've completely surpassed me. Back then, when I suggested you allocate your stats into AGI (Agility), you didn't fully listen to me. Instead, you wisely invested in STR (Strength) based on your own judgment."
In GGO, Shinon had long become one of the most formidable players.
At least among snipers, none could surpass her.
"I believe that's the real Asada-san," Kyouji said, his voice and gaze growing more heated.
"The cold, composed sniper—that's the real you. I've always believed that."
Hearing this, Shinon slowly lowered her eyes.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone