MHA: Second chance

LV 3

FanFictionPremium

What are your opinions?

LV 4

Glutenous_titan

rough writing, there are no misspellings, but he doesn't separate talking of different characters. So the readers don't know where the talking ends and the thinking begins. Need to put space between paragraphs and personaly I would prefer if you put the dialogue of different characters in different paragraphs. cool idea just needs improvement in writing quality

LV 5

GenYase

Writing quality: it's hard to understand anything. story development: iIcouldnt reach past chapter 4 cuz of how bad his English is. character design: same updating stability:idk world background:couldn't reach. if you don't want to think about every word the author has written, then this story isn't for you.

LV 12

Lema404

-The writing quality is ok in some areas, but then, it gets so bad that it literally jerks you out of the story. Add on that this happens either every paragraph or every other paragraph -The story development is common enough that one can infer what is happening by just skimming.'Sick boy gets reborn before in mha before/ after kicking the bucket and -character design up to part four is common and the same as other stories. -Two chapters a week is, in my opinion, pretty weak. Along with how short each chapter is, the bar for expectations keeps getting lower and lower. If this is done for fun, and not a way to better your writing, then ignore the chapter length statement. -The world is already pre-built and established. All the author needs to do is add their OC and a few other things and they have a working FF.

LV 4

TheHarvinator01

Some constructive criticism that hopefully helps/comes off respectfully. The current writing is immensely uncomfortable to read, difficult to follow and requires more focus to understand what is apart of a conversation and what's being thought. You should stick to a format with dialogue. (Then you can make a Legend at the start of the first chapter) Like using " " for all audible noise, i.e. spoken words, Audio signals like "Crash" "Boom" ect. And using ' ' for dialogue that wasn't spoken aloud and just thought in the characters' head. Also having the characters name at the start of the sentence to make it easy to follow. -All Might: "PLUS ULTRA!!!" The story/characters act similarly to a cultivation Manhwa, from reading up-to Chapter 6 it's quite illogical for some literary agent to track down a 4 year old and beat up orphans like some Yakuza boss. In the MHA world this type of thing wouldn't happen in the open so easily. (Also she's not exactly in the position of power to act so high & mighty, she's a literary agent..not the agent from The Matrix) This follows Cultivation Manhwa's villains being unnecessarily evil and stupid for the sake of having another villain to hate. This could have progressed fluidly by the agent acting like a normal agent and supporting the MC which would get him out of the orphanage.

LV 12

Lema404

the writing quality is less than mediocre, to be honest. While some of the big plot points are there, the little bits that bring it all together into a cohesive whole are totally missing. Throughout the story, it's almost impossible to differentiate between who is talking at certain times and what is and isn't an inner monolog due to the bad grammar. Add in the needless and very frequent scene skips, and it jumbles the narrative even more. The last issue is that from my point of view, the author/ editor would rather put out another chapter in the story than fix the grammer and other issues to make the story more readable, which is a shame because the story would probably do better if this stuff was fixed.

LV 3

Keyaruga_Tsuki

look at the tags.........down in the synopsis.

LV 3

WTG

The idea is cool, but the way the story flows is almost to choppy to enjoy. Calling all might the almighty doesn’t help at all. Also a regular talent agent isn’t going to just hire 4 mercs to kill a child especially with the general thinking of the people in MHA

LV 4

JasonReilly05

[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

LV 13

earth_19998

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LV 11

pEmKayS

The story is average in many ways. The interactions between characters and the plot are a bit rushed. As a result, it is suitable for one-time reading.

LV 14

BurritoBarbarian

Grammar is rough and the format for speech is some of the worst si CE you can't tell who's talking the majority of the time.