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MHA: Apex
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Ringkasan
Just got bored of reading other stuff and wanted to give it a try. Let me know what you guys think!
tagar
Penggemar
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![Lustful_Flesh]()
Lustful_Flesh Berpartisipasi 1 -
![Garrett_Hamilton]()
Garrett_Hamilton Berpartisipasi 1 -
![Red_Eclipse_2003]()
Red_Eclipse_2003 Berpartisipasi 1
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone Anda Mungkin Juga Menyukai
3Ulasan-ulasan
- Kualitas penulisan
- Stabilitas Pembaruan
- Pengembangan Cerita
- Desain Karakter
- Latar Belakang Dunia
Bagikan pikiran Anda dengan orang lain
Tulis ulasan
So first off, the writing quality is fine, there is not too much problem with that, the updating quality is very good, tough the size of each chapter is small, so I think you should publish 1 chapter out of two or three small ones. The story development, as for now nothing has had really happened, the protagonist just stayed in his village training and writing, so I expect a quick development of it's quality, what you must do is not make it really fast forward nor too slow, just find the right amount, try get our interest with something like a tension. About the characters names now, don't just put a bit of every anime and make it a story, for example I don't think you should have named the protagonist Roronoa Zoro, it's just sound like someone who is obsessed with that character, same for Artoria, besides what are the chances of a Japanese to be named (with both the family name and the first name) like someone from Europe or Mexico. Then about the paragraph's space, don't make a huge thing, it's very easy to get lost. Finally about the world background, very poor for now so you should really work it from now on.
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The reason I'm giving this a such low review is that everything is so simple and underdeveloped. The MC is op which is fine but the way you write him. He seems kinda single-sided. The storyline with Rumi needs to be developed more because even though they are soulmates they still need a more detailed love story. The writing quality is really simple, but it's your first fanfic so I can't blame you. I know that's it is hard to write them but just try to make the story feel real. The character design needs work to because Rumi seems like a simpleminded character.
Hello, this is my first Fanfiction! I was very bored and have never done this so thank you so much for reading, and let me know what you like and dislike! Thank you for your time!