Bab 42: Disconnected
Whenever Tiffany was doing something through her toys and dolls that were connected to her, there was always some form of disconnected feeling that she had.
It was like being a complete outsider like she was experiencing everything from an outsider's perspective.
There was no need for her to be influenced by what was going on around her unless it had some form of connection to her.
Even during critical moments when she gained some important and useful information, Tiffany was usually calm and collected.
She did not get too emotionally excited or experience heavier emotions during such times.
There were many instances where it was just like she was an observer who could not interact with what was around her.
She could interact with everything around her in that state but she chose not to for her reasons.
It was more beneficial that way since she wanted to keep herself a secret from others while it would be considered quite strange for other people to be talking to dolls and making friends with them.
The only times when there was a small amount of connection was when she was interacting with her siblings.
They were the only ones who knew of her secret and who she trusted a little.
The only times that she ever felt like she was able to freely step outside of her outsider perspective was when she was helping them out in various ways.
The main issue was that while she had been able to offer them some information or warn them of some things, she did not influence anything or experience anything for herself.
Tiffany was still influencing matters from the same place she always had.
There was never any direct involvement from her and everything had been done by others.
There were so many things that she had been involved in but had never actually participated in the events herself.
All of her influence over everything was just from the position of an observer and someone who provided some guidance to those who needed it.
She could direct others to do things but she never did them herself so she never got to truly experience what it was like for them.
Her siblings were living all kinds of different lives that involved many different difficulties they had to face while others had many things that brought them happiness.
While all of that was happening, Tiffany was still living her life as a sideshow within the Hall of Horrors where she worked to earn her keep in the carnival.
That was her real life and everything else was just like she was watching the lives of others play out on a TV screen or she was just playing some interactive game where she could have a small effect on some events.
She was just some kid who was put on display to be laughed at and to have insults thrown at her like others who were put in the Hall of Horrors.
Her role there was to creep people out and make them uncomfortable.
That kind of lifestyle was what held the most influence over her and everything else was just something else that had little to do with it.
Anything that happened away from her main body was not connected to her life and she felt little toward it despite her playing a large role in many things she had been involved in.
A lot of her current life almost felt unreal the moment that she was introduced to it all and she was beginning to experience new things for herself.
Tiffany was experiencing many firsts in her life and the present situation was one of those firsts.
It was the first time she had ever taken action herself against others which was somewhat empowering but at the same time, it was very strange for her.
Tiffany did not know how to feel about everything that had taken place and that she had involvement in.
She had given help to others before which resulted in others being harmed or dying but she had never been the one to take action herself and pull the trigger.
She had never been directly responsible for what would happen as a result of her actions and that included what came with taking the life of another.
Every time that someone had lost their life previously, it had little to do with her and she was able to get used to it quite easily.
She could accept such a result since it was necessary for her siblings' survival and it was something she was just observing.
Her role and part to play in it was almost non-existent so she never had to feel responsible for any of it.
She had taken the lives of others but she was unable to understand how she was currently feeling and come to terms with it right away.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone