Bab 6: Chapter 6

Cersei stabbed her fingers with the needles as she ran down the stairs. Jon couldn't be dead, he was her boy; her little pup couldn't die. Her husband was behind her, they went outside and there by the stables was her baby, on the ground bleeding. Maester Luwin crouched by him.

"No." She yelled and ran to her pup. She was speechless, the maester yelled at some men to get things from his solar and a pallet to put Jon in. "Is my son dead?" He asked the maester. "No, he's very much alive but we need to get him inside and make sure his wound is cleaned and sown. His spine is fine." Cersei breathed a little easier. "What happened?" The lioness in her demanded retribution, she was angry, angrier than she had ever felt in her life. She distantly remembered being this angry with Tyrion when he was born and killed her mother.

Beth, the nursemaid was crying profusely, "I'm sorry m'lady." Cersei growled, "What did you do?"

"We were playing and the lad wanted to have a close look at the horses. I must have turned to pick some wildflowers for him." The girl sobbed noisily, "When I turned he was on the ground bleeding from his little head." Cersei came close and slapped the girl hard. She didn't stop; she slapped her again and again until Eddard held her against him. "Cersei." He held her tight. The nursemaid was crying and clutching her red face. Cersei would have done worse if Eddard had let her go.

"Get out of my sight." She spat and tried to get close to her again but Eddard had a vise grip on her arms.

Maester Luwin put Jon on the pallet and they moved to the castle. They climbed the stairs to her quarters and put in in his crib. The older man worked silently. Eddard didn't let go of her. She was crying silently, waiting for the maester to tell her that her pup would be fine.

"Jon fell on his head." I sewed his wound; there isn't any damage other than the cut in his head.

Cersei looked hopeful. "I am worried, he should have woken up by now." Those words took the hope out of her.

"What happens now?" Eddard asked, his hands on her shoulders. "We wait, we try to make him comfortable."

Cersei cried when the maester left, big heaving sobs. She didn't care that her lord husband was with her. She looked at the crib, her baby with bandages on his head, his eyes closed; he looked pale and so small. She remembered when she was pregnant with Joffrey and wished with all her heart that Jon died. She cried more and shied away from Eddard's touch.

"Please get out." He tried to touch her again, "GET OUT." She lashed out. "This is your fault. If you hadn't come to us I would have been with him. I would have been with my pup. This is your fault. Get out, get out." She cried. Eddard left with pained eyes, like a whipped puppy.

She remained by Jon's crib the rest of the night doing something she hadn't done since her mother died. She prayed, she prayed to the Mother and the Crone. "Gentle mother please give him back to me. I will do anything Mother anything." Cersei would go from asking each of the seven Gods for their mercy to rage. She cursed them, Eddard for bringing his bastard, her womb for not being able to carry to term. She cursed Jaime for leaving her and her father for not loving her. Tyrion for killing her mother. She stayed all night next to that crib, praying begging Jon to open his grey eyes. "Please Jon please." She held his small limp hand.

She slept close to him and at times. Eddard and master Luwin came in early the next morning. The older man shook his head. "He should be awake my lord. I'm sorry but if he doesn't wake up in a few hours a fever would surely take over his body and then it would be a matter of time before he meets with the Stranger."

Cersei shook her head. Jon would wake up; he would have to wake up. "He'll wake up. He's strong; he survived months traveling from Dorne and with goat milk." She said convinced that her pup would do so. He was her only reason, she was barren, and he was sent to her. They were mother and child, even if she didn't carry or gave birth to him. She had given birth twice, horrible pain that did not compare to the notion of losing this black haired babe that didn't look anything like her or had a drop of her blood.

Eddard came into the room and tried to take her to bed. "No please, he needs me. He needs me Eddard please." Gone was her anger, she was a shell; the lioness was almost gone as was her fight. She wiped some wayward tears. Her lord husband nodded and left the room. She was praying to the Mother once again when she noticed that Jon was feverish. She ran out of her rooms to Eddard's room. He was sitting on his bed, a candle by his bedside.

"He's feverish." Her voice broke a little. She never saw Eddard so distraught not even when Joff arrived.

He went to fetch maester Luwin. Cersei went back to her room and fretted. Once the maester was in the room he examined the child and said solemnly. "We have to keep the fever down. There could be damage to his brain if we let the fever get too high."

She nodded and asked for Myra to fetch fresh water and pieces of cloth. "Lady Stark, it would be best if you rested. Myra can certainly make sure Jon is well taken care of." Maester Luwin said

"No, I can't sleep, there will be plenty of time for sleep when Jon wakes up." Cersei didn't fail to notice the maester pitying stare.

Three hours later the fever hadn't broken, in fact Jon was getting hotter. The maester proposed bathing the child. In her desperation Cersei had Myra fill her tub with water. She stepped in with the baby in her arms, cradling him close to her chest. They stayed in the tub for thirty minutes until Eddard pulled them up. "You are shivering." He said with the glint in his eyes that meant he was going to do as he pleased.

She was wet and tired but the fever was broken. "We have to wait now." Luwin left but Eddard remained in the room. "Cersei please lie down for a few hours. I'll stay with Jon. You will get sick if you don't." She shook her head "No. I want him to look at me when he wakes up. He'll be scared if he doesn't."

"He might not wake up Cersei." Eddard said with a sad tone.

Cersei turned to her lord husband. "He will wake up. I know it." She remained quiet and prayed once again to the Father, the Mother and the Stranger. Once when she was a child aunt Genna told her that the Gods needed sacrifices. Prayer alone was not enough. She thought about what she loved most in the world and his face was forefront, Jaime. "Stranger please do not take Jon. Gentle Mother, please have this baby healthy again. Fair Father, forgive me for my sins. I swear to never lay with Jaime again. Please give me my pup again." She said whispering quietly. She was at her wits ends; all of her resources and talents couldn't help her now.