Bab 72: Chapter 70: Stifling Revelations
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The cultural festival had been like a storm, with Izuku doing his best to navigate through it. It started off rocky, and had elevated to spectacularly cheerful, then dropped down to awkward. After Sakura ran off, Izuku and Mirio did everything they could to keep Eri's spirits high, and distract her with attractions of the day so it could end as a good memory for her. However Eri was highly intuitive, and even though she tried to go along with them, they could see she was worried about Sakura.
Izuku eyed the coarse unbleached cloth and the complementary assortment of color pallets and the realistic hold of the subjects in the work, to any other beholder it would be a mesmerizing piece of art done by talented hands. But for Sakura it was a trigger that lodged a bullet, mentally wounding her.
Helpless to stop her, Izuku could only take care of Eri in that time and try to pass the hours as quickly as possible.
Now, sitting in his room, Izuku found his thoughts still consumed by the incident. He had donned his uniform and was readying himself for another school day, but his mind kept drifting back to the painting that had seemed to trigger Sakura's distress. The painting of the two boys, one with hair like the sun, the other with hair black as the night sky, stood out starkly against the backdrop of his room filled with his All Might merchandise.
Izuku stared at the painting, his green eyes tracing the lines and colors. Each time he looked at it, a sense of confusion and curiosity gnawed at him like termites. What was it about this image that had caused Sakura to react so strongly? He could see the content expressions on the boys' faces, the contrasting halves of the day and night forming the background, but the significance eluded him.
"Why did this painting affect her so much?" he whispered to himself, pinching his chin between his fingers. The boys in the painting seemed almost alive, their expressions serene yet hinting at a deeper story. He felt like he was on the brink of understanding something profound, yet it remained just out of reach.
The thought of Sakura being so visibly shaken, unsettled him. She had an armour that seemed impenetrable until now. He couldn't shake the feeling that whatever it was that haunted Sakura was something monumental, something that had carved deep scars into her heart. And Izuku just didn't have the fortitude to put these things to rest, or leave other's in a poor state. He couldn't do it for Shouto, he couldn't do it for Katsuki, he certainly couldn't do it for Sakura.
With a sigh, Izuku stood up and straightened his uniform.
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Izuku stepped out of his room, he could hear his classmates footsteps in the common room, likely wrapping up their breakfast. As he walked down the corridor, he spotted Shouta coming towards him, likely having just gotten Eri up for the day. It was a task that Sakura had usually handled, but for the last few days it had become their teacher's due to the current situation.
"Good morning, Aizawa-sensei," Izuku greeted him.
"Midoriya," Aizawa replied, his expression as inscrutable as ever. "
"Has there been any news on Sakura?" Izuku asked, his voice tinged with hope and worry, but he noticed that his teacher's shoulder's stiffened even as he kept his eyes unshaken.
"There's been no change since you last asked me. But we are taking care of this." Aizawa stated bluntly. "Don't worry about it, just focus on class today,"
Though it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear, Izuku nodded. "Yes, sir."
As he walked out of the dorms, he saw Ochaco and Tenya waiting for him by the entrance.
"Deku," Ochaco greeted, her wide eyes were murky with worry, but prying for news "Did Aizawa-sensei say anything?"
Izuku shook his head. "No, nothing new, but Aizawa did say that the teacher's were handling the situation."
Ochaco seemed to deflate, all hope leaving her form. "She just came back, and now…."
Tenya interjected, adjusting his glasses to hide the concern behind the lenses, "We simply have to wait and hope that Aizawa sensei comes up with something for her."
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Dropping Eri off to her lessons had taken longer than he anticipated. All the way to the classes, she wore a face weighed with worry. Where she was timid about so many things but resilient in learning about Sakura. Though he did his best to assure her Sakura would be fine, it didn't help in swaying Eri from requesting to see her.
After homeroom, Shouta returned to the dormitory. The area still as stone without the beating winds of his students running over them. His footsteps echoed lightly in the quiet halls as he approached Sakura's room. He paused at the door, taking a moment to collect his thoughts and steel himself for what he might find.
With a deep breath, he gently pushed the door open. The room was dim, the curtains drawn tightly shut, allowing only slivers of light to penetrate. Everything was kept tidy, no rather empty. There was a tray of stale food, barely touched at the desk.
There was a cocoon of fabric furled together, unmoving but Shouta knew was filled with life.
"Have you woken up now?"
Sakura lay motionless under her bedding, her eyes staring beyond the wall of the room. She was like a cloth ringed out. It was as if all signs of vitality had dropped from her form.
"Sakura," he said softly, breaking the silence. There was a lot he wanted to say, but truthfully Shouta was afraid to misstep. In any other situation he was unafraid to be sharp with his kids, cutting them with his words to give them lessons and advice they would remember feeling. But what could he make of this?
Sakura Haruno was a new breed of student for this teacher, but in his assessment that docked so many unexplained anomalies pertaining to her, one thing he could discern was her fortitude, especially that of her mentality. It was stronger than anyone he had taught. He would even go so far as to say, she had a greater mental fortitude than pro's he knew.
She was like an unmovable mountain, unwilling to bend or fall toe the pressures of the world around it. Yet now, she looked like a withering branch about to break from the trunk.
"Sakura," He called again. "You should eat something, how about coming to the sitting room?"
There was no response, not even a flicker of recognition in her eyes. She remained lifeless, her gaze fixed on some distant point only she could see. The sight of her like this, so completely detached from the world around her, tore at him. His students struggled with many challenges that hurt their minds as much as their bodies, but to this extent was something else.
"I think," He approached her gently, like she was some wild cat that would sprint off despite her immobile persona. "You should get out of bed and eat something."
Once more she had no response to offer.
Shouta continued, his voice steady and calm. "I know that something is going on with you, but you don't have to go through this alone. But you need to tell us what's wrong. This isn't the way to heal."
He reached out, placing his hand on her shoulder, waiting for any reactions but she was just as unmovable as ever. Sakura's vacant stare unwavering still.
Finally, Shouta stood up. "I'll check on you again later.
He entered into vacant hallways of the dorms, closing the door slowly to keep an eye on his student in case she decided to react but there was none.
Closing the door, Shouta couldn't help but reflect, wondering about this behaviour of Sakura's.
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Sakura felt like she was underwater, her head submerged with liquid pooling in her ears, blurring her vision and dulling her senses. But she didn't think there was anything wrong with her. Not really. She was just trying to breathe again. That's what happened when you were pulled under, water had pressure that weighed you down, and she was going to go back to the surface. But right now she wasn't done sinking, she needed to reach the bottom first, and then she could go back up. She didn't know why, but it simply felt like the right decision. And she was stubborn. Her determination always made sure she saw things through, that didn't change so there was nothing wrong with her at all.
For now her body couldn't do what she wanted because she was under, but when her feet hit the bottom, she would start swimming up again.
She just needed time.
And she couldn't' afford distractions like classes, school work, interacting with other's, nor eating or sleeping.
That's right. She just needed to stay focused then she would be fine again. She would go out, and look at the world around her once more without feeling like her heart was being caged. She could return to being the best student in the school, and keep training and toiling as if she still had a glimmer of hope of returning to her world. And then eventually….
She closed her eyes to the thought.
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The first day Sakura slipped into this chasm, no one had suspected anything including her. She just returned from the nurse's office, without feeling the desire to interact with anyone. She walked past her classmates, including Izuku, who had wanted to greet her and ask how she was feeling. He was left standing there as she slumped past him, his hand half-raised in a tentative wave.
She went ot her room and collapsed on her bed. She lay there staring at the ceiling, that painted images in her mind of her home. Of Sasuke and Naruto. Their images in her mind had become clearer after that painting gave such a refreshment to her, as if clearing the window she looked through to see them.
During the war, when Sasuke entered that battle field with their allies. It struck her with hope, even as they were driven further into danger when Kaguya emerged. Sakura strengthened the thought that if they could just get through this day, then maybe they would be able to return together. To the way they were before everything fell apart.
And she wanted to keep a hold of that even in this world, but it seemed that even with her strength, she couldn't keep hanging onto this thread, and eventually it would either snap under the weight, or she would let go to stop the pain in her fingers that clutched it.
And seeing that painting made her think, what would she have to go back to? Could things truly be as they were or was she just walking from one abyss into another?
She thought about their last encounter, the final moments where everything had changed. She could still see their faces as they vanished before her eyes, their voices calling out to her, a haunting echo that lingered in her mind.
Every moment she thought of this was like a weight continuing to push down on her. Yet Sakura wouldn't acknowledge it as she closed her eyes and drifted for the night. Unaware that the weight would soon be crushing her.
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The next morning, Sakura woke up at her usual time, the crack of dawn shining through the window. She would usually be quick to move through her morning routine, get to her training and such. But for some reason, as she blinked away the sleep, she still had tiredness in her body. She had been hit with a sudden foreign feeling of lethargy but it was not unwelcome. It wasn't hunger that kept her from moving, nor was it laziness—she had trained those weaknesses out of herself long ago. No, her body was fine, capable of action, but her mind felt like it was shackled, refusing to let her leave the warmth of her covers.
She lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling an overwhelming heaviness that pinned her down. Her muscles, once so eager for movement, now seemed content to remain still, as if they too were weighed down by her thoughts. Each breath felt like an effort.
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When she didn't show up to class, of course she had visitors following but Sakura couldn't even entertain any of them with a lie. She just kept ignoring the calls for her, until finally Shouta came to see her.
He was expecting a fight, only to be disturbingly surprised when he was met with her lifeless persona.
Shouta did everything he could to coax the girl out of bed, but she refused to even engage. When he realized that Sakura was missing, the alarms were going off in his head. With her past being an indication of possible flight, the school went on a temporary lock down which turned out to be an overreaction as he found Sakura just laying in bed. It would've been a call for relief except Shouta soon realized Sakura had the interactive behaviour of an inanimate object.
There was nothing that would move her. Even Chiyo couldn't discern what was wrong with the girl, but theorized after hearing Izuku's relay of the Cultural Festival that it was something of a mental toll. Had this been any other student, Shouta would've gotten them out of bed, given them one of his usual speeches to motivate them up. However Shouta knew that it was because the students goals aligned similarly to his own at that age, he could realize many of their problems. It's why he could give that harsh push to get them over the obstacle to the next.
This was another matter entirely. You can't coax someone to walk through a fire the same way you coax them to swim across a lake.
What's more it made Shouta feel incredibly helpless, one of her greatest talents. So when he finally got the call he was waiting for, he couldn't help breathe a sigh of relief.
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The power of quirks was a coin toss, you were either given the gloves to climb the rope to grand heights or you hands were greased for life, causing you to slip along the way. Noriko had defined her quirk different through her years. When she was a child, her imagination couldn't expand any hope of her using it to be a hero and fight villains, but as time passed, she learned the greatest way to make use of the cards she held.
The ability to read other's, to a degree that even their closest loved ones wouldn't reach if they didn't desire it. Nothing could fool her eyes, there was no such thing as deception or lies in her vocabulary. All the curtains and walls people held up, would be drawn and crumble with her gaze.
That's why U.A was so eager to reach out to her about their particular student who seemed to have one too many secrets.
Noriko cleared her schedule to set out for U.A. The dorms were quiet as students were still in class. Shouta gave her a detailed debriefing of Sakura's current state, and the possible trigger so she would have her tools sharpened before engaging with her.
"Good afternoon, Sakura." Noriko entered the girls room, staring at the lump beneath the covers. She could see a distilled color of gray surrounding her. A simple diagnosis to follow when it came to discerning emotions.
"The school called me in very concerned about you. How are you feeling?"
No response of course, Noriko expected as much. She took a seat at the desk, keeping her eyes on the girl so she would be able to feel her gaze.
"I heard from Aizawa you haven't left your bed in days, or engaged with anyone. Do you want to tell me the reason?" She waited for at least a minute letting the room fill with silence before fanning it out. "It's said you had a panic attack during the cultural festival."
Sakura remained silent, her gaze unwavering from the ceiling. The therapist waited a moment, then continued. "I saw the painting. Those boys were quite handsome weren't they?" There was the shift in the gray, and Noriko knew she had found her sight, now it was time to start digging. "Were they someone special to you?"
Sakura's eyes flickered for the first time, her attention drawn. It was a small reaction, but it was a start.
"Ah, I see," Noriko nodded. "Can you tell me who they were, Sakura?"
A heavy silence settled over them again. The therapist stayed quiet, simply offering her presence as a form of support. She watched as Sakura's emotions fluctuated—waves of sorrow, confusion, and a deep sense of loss intermingled with fleeting glimpses of hope and determination.
Sakura's lips parted slightly, a sign that she was considering responding. Noriko waited patiently, her expression encouraging but not demanding.
Finally, in a voice barely above a whisper, Sakura spoke. "I miss them,"
The therapist nodded, her expression sympathetic. "It's natural to miss the people who have been important in your life, especially when they're not here with you. Can you tell me more about them? About what made your bond so special?"
Sakura took a deep, shaky breath. "They were my teammates... my friends. We went through so much together. They were like family to me. And now, they're gone. I feel... lost without them."
The therapist reached out, placing a comforting hand on Sakura's arm. "Grief is a powerful and complex emotion, Sakura. It's okay to feel lost and overwhelmed. But it's also okay to lean on others."
"There are no other's," Sakura stated.
"Of course there are. The world is big, and you must believe you will find other's out there who you can bond with, the same way you were bonded to those boys,"
Sakura shook her head stronger this time, "That won't happen,"
"Why do you believe that?"
Things go quiet again but Noriko had already dug deep into Sakura's skin and was getting to her heart. "When you returned to U.A all the reports said that you were doing well, you were more engaged. It's understandable that you've been withdrawn after losing-
"Everything," Sakura interrupted.
"Excuse me?"
Finally, Sakura could no longer contain the torrent of emotions within her. She turned sharply, eyes blazing with a mix of sorrow and fury, her voice trembling yet forceful.
"I've lost everything!" she burst out, her voice echoing through the small room. "I don't have a home, I don't have my parents, I don't have my friends. And the worst part is I'm still here!"
Her fists clenched the blanket tightly, knuckles white with the effort. Tears streamed down her face, but she didn't bother to wipe them away. "I've only been playing this hero game because it's all I have left…"
The therapist listened intently, her heart aching for the girl before her. "Sakura," she began softly, but Sakura wasn't finished.
"I've been trying to make this work," Sakura said, her voice gaining a desperate edge. "But I'm alone. Completely alone. And it can't change because I can't do anything to undo what was done to me. I'm powerless. I was helpless to stop it all from happening, and now, all I can do is try to make this world work for me. If I can't... then I won't have anything left."
Noriko allowed the silence to stretch, giving Sakura the space to process her own outburst. Then, slowly, she leaned forward, her voice calm and soothing.
"Sakura, the depth of your pain and loss is very deep, I can see that" she said gently. "It's okay to grieve, to feel angry and tired. You've been through unimaginable hardships, and it's natural to feel overwhelmed. But you do have people that care about you, and want to help you through your difficulties,"
Sakura scoffed lightly wiping her face, and then she said something that shocked Noriko. "The rules were right,"
"What rules?"
"Feelings are a weakness that will only cloud your judgement."
Noriko leaned towards her, "Who told you such a thing Sakura?"
Her head just shook, it was more than just a subtle social construct, it was a barrier. A sign that Sakura held a tight clasp onto a truth that she would not unfurl her palm open for anyone. And yet what sunned Noriko even more, was the way the color within Sakura turned into an unnatural calm. As if her emotions that had shattered and sunk into gray, were now gathered in her arms and glued back together.
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