Bab 2: A State Of Depression

Kazemachi Sota's world had shrunk to the confines of a hospital room. The walls, a stark and sterile white, seemed to close in on him with each passing day. The rhythmic beeping of machines and the soft hum of fluorescent lights created an unrelenting backdrop, a monotonous symphony that only heightened his sense of isolation.

The pain in his shattered foot was a constant companion, a relentless reminder of the game that had cost him everything. His dreams of leading the Nishikawa Hawks to victory were replaced with the harsh reality of multiple fractures and a long, uncertain recovery. The doctor's words were a blur of medical jargon and grim prognoses, each diagnosis another nail in the coffin of his football career.

Sota lay in the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. The days blended together, an indistinguishable haze of pain, medication, and despair. The once-vibrant energy that had defined him was now replaced by a crushing sense of hopelessness. He felt like a prisoner in his own body, trapped in a cycle of suffering with no end in sight.

His mind was a turbulent sea of emotions. Anger, frustration, and sorrow churned within him, threatening to consume him entirely. He replayed the fateful game over and over in his head, each memory a fresh wound. The weight of the Titan defender, the sickening crunch of bone, the roar of the crowd fading into a distant echo—these images haunted him, a relentless torment that kept him awake at night.

The nights were the worst. The hospital room, dimly lit by the soft glow of a nightlight, seemed to amplify his loneliness. The painkillers dulled the physical agony but did nothing to soothe his tormented mind. He lay awake, staring into the darkness, his thoughts spiraling into a black abyss. The future he had envisioned, filled with glory and triumph, was now a distant, unattainable dream.

Visitors came and went, their faces blurring into a parade of pity and concern. His parents, their eyes filled with worry, tried to offer words of comfort, but they felt hollow and meaningless. His teammates, once a source of camaraderie and support, now seemed awkward and distant, unsure of what to say to the fallen star. Each visit only served to deepen his sense of isolation.

Sota's world was shrinking, and with it, his hope. The injury had not only taken his ability to play football but also stripped away his sense of identity. Who was he if not the star quarterback, the hero of the field? The question gnawed at him, eroding his self-worth with each passing day.

The physical therapy sessions were grueling, a painful reminder of how far he had fallen. Each movement was a battle, his muscles weak and uncooperative. The therapists encouraged him to keep pushing, to fight through the pain, but his spirit was broken. The road to recovery seemed insurmountable, a cruel joke played by fate.

He often found himself staring out the window, watching the world go by without him. The bustling life outside was a stark contrast to his stagnant existence. The laughter of children, the chatter of passersby, the distant sounds of traffic—all of it seemed to mock him, a reminder of the life he could no longer lead.

With a deepening depression, Sota felt the shadows of despair closing in around him. The vibrant, determined boy who had once led his team with unwavering confidence was now a shell of his former self. He felt like he was drowning, each day pulling him further under the surface. The future stretched out before him, bleak and uninviting, a landscape devoid of hope.

The hospital staff did their best to lift his spirits, but their efforts felt futile. The cheerful nurses, the encouraging doctors, the friendly orderlies—all of them were part of a world that felt increasingly distant. Sota's mind was a fortress of sorrow, impenetrable by their well-meaning attempts at positivity.

One night, as he lay in the suffocating silence of his room, Sota felt a profound sense of despair. The darkness seemed to close in around him, the weight of his situation pressing down with unbearable force. He wanted to scream, to rage against the injustice of it all, but he felt too weak, too broken.

Tears welled in his eyes, a torrent of emotion that he could no longer hold back. He wept for the dreams that had been shattered, for the future that had been stolen from him. He wept for the boy who had once been full of life and promise, now reduced to a shadow of despair. The tears came in a flood, a cathartic release of the pain and frustration that had been building within him.

As the sobs wracked his body, Sota felt a small, flickering ember of resolve deep within him. It was faint, barely perceptible, but it was there... he just needed to find it.

Somewhere... it's there...

Knock. Knock.

The monotonous beep of the hospital monitors was disrupted by a gentle knock on the door. Sota turned his head slowly, his eyes weary from days of confinement. The door creaked open, and his younger brother, Riku, stepped in, his expression a mix of concern and determination.

"Sota-nii," Riku said softly, taking in the sight of his brother's bedridden form. "How's it going?"

Sota offered a weak smile. "Well, I'm doing great as you can see. I've got a bright future, and my identity has never been clearer. What do you think?" He grumbled, choking on his tears as his brother's eyes of pity bore on him, piercing through his broken soul and crumpling it like the useless paper it was.

Riku moved to the side of the bed and took a seat, his eyes scanning Sota's troubled face. "I..." Riku stammered, at a loss for words.

Sota's gaze fell to the white hospital sheets. "I was on top of the world, you see, I was riding the tailwind... and then one second. Just. One. Second... that's all it took for fate to clip my wings. What did I even do to deserve this?!"

Riku's expression grew more resolute. "To tell you the truth, big brother, I've always looked up to you. I've never had a dream. I've never had the spirit to push through life with such energy and vigor. You were always the beacon of encouragement for me, and that had never changed."

"Even this..." Riku said, pointing at his brother's casted leg. "Even this is not enough to diminish my respect. I know you can overcome this— no, you will overcome this and soar even higher."

Sota's eyes met his brother's, searching for some form of encouragement. He wanted to lash out at his younger brother, but he knew that he was sincerely there to give him the boost. "But what if I can't find my way back? What if I'm just... stuck?"

Although Sota knew that no words would pull him out of his rut, he decided to listen to his younger brother.

Riku leaned closer, his voice steady and warm. "You're not stuck. You're just navigating a new path. Sometimes, we need to embrace change to find our true freedom."

Sota looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Riku smiled, his eyes reflecting a blend of wisdom and empathy. "Think about the wind. It's always moving, changing direction, but it's never truly confined. It finds new paths and embraces the freedom to explore different horizons. A rock, no matter how large it is, can't stop even the lightest of winds. You're the wind, big brother, don't act like you're a rock."

He reached out and gently placed a hand on Sota's arm. "Even when the wind faces obstacles, it doesn't stop. It flows around them, finding its way to where it needs to go. You're like that wind, Sota-nii. "

An image of the wind appeared in his mind, calming him a little bit. Well, it's not like he could clearly picture something invisible, but he got the point.

Riku nodded, his voice filled with encouragement. "Exactly. Remember this: 'Like the wind that dances freely through the trees, let your spirit move with resilience. The path might be new, but it's yours to discover.' You've always had that strength in you, and now it's time to let it guide you to new horizons."

Quite frankly, Riku was just repeating everything his coach told him. He was in the track and field, after all. Nevertheless, his words were sincere. He really wanted his brother to redeem his freedom, to regain his clipped wings.

Sota took a deep breath, the weight of his brother's words slowly lifting the fog of despair. The metaphor of the wind, with its boundless freedom, offered a glimmer of hope.

Maybe there was a way forward, after all.

And if there wasn't, Sota would find one, like the wind, weaving through the trees, and flowing over the landscape— and then climbing to the skies, an unstoppable force of wonder.

"Thanks, Riku," Kazemachi let out, his eyes tearing up as he turned away from his younger brother's sincere concern.