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1.4% Imperfect Desires / Chapter 14: Back In The Day

Bab 14: Back In The Day

Xiu practically had to drag Nora away from there. It was a strenuous task since the latter was acting like a kid who couldn't just let go of the teddy bear that had caught his eyes. Nora's big eyes were looking earnestly towards that dress.

Seeing her throwing tantrum at this age over a dress, Xiu was really depressed. She knew Nora well enough to know that this best friend won't be getting over this for a long time. But still, she saw the conviction in her eyes as she turned her eyes away from the dress and walked beside Xiu like an obedient girl.

As they boarded the elevator, Nora's whole demeanor shifted. "Baby Xiu'er, I heard there is a new Mala Hotpot Restaurant on the eighth floor. Shall we give it a try?"

Seeing how hard Nora was trying to keep her promise. Xiu felt her heart softening up. "Okay. You book a room. I have something to buy on the sixth floor." Saying that Xiu pressed the button for the sixth floor and got off.

"Don't take too long," Nora shouted as the elevator doors closed.

Xiu looked around before finding her way to the escalator and riding it back to the fifth floor. She made a beeline straight to the shop she had in mind.

*Chanel* signature board was illuminated above the glass doors.

Xiu strutted inside and found a sales attendant pleasantly smiling back at her. "How can I help you, Miss?"

Xiu pointed at the mannequin in the display window and said, "Can you get me that dress?"

Yes, she was back at the place where she saw Nora's pleading eyes. That feisty girl never reacted like this even after a break-up. But over losing a dress, she was really depressed and seeing her in such down spirits, how could Xiu be at ease? For her strong resolve, Xiu decided to give her a surprise. She earned it after all.

So what if Nora Cartwright was Bai Xiu's best friend? For the past five years, Xiu had come to love her the same way Bai Xiu did if not more than her. Xiu didn't know how deep Bai Xiu's bond was with Nora but she knew that her own bond was deeper than it had ever been with anyone in her previous life.

The sales attendant bowed her head respectfully and immediately presented the dress to Xiu in the size she asked for. Xiu touched the dress while analyzing it like an expert. Clothes were once her passion, how would she be unaware of what would look good on Nora?

This particular bodycon dress was designed intricately with floral lace detailing and lining. It was a knee-length dress in a beautiful navy blue color which Xiu thought would compliment Nora's olive skin perfectly. It had a decent V-neckline, not the plunging one which might look vulgar with Nora's gorgeously shaped body. It had half-sleeves just making it one elegant and not-too-over the top dress.

Xiu nodded her head in appreciation and directly said, "Wrap it up for me, please. Thank you!"

The sales attendant was a bit taken aback by her delicate but melodious voice and more so by Xiu's polite and graceful manners. She immediately smiled brightly and said, "Wouldn't you like to try it on, Miss? This will certainly look good on you."

Xiu thought she was being nice just because it was her job but the sales attendant was really speaking from her heart. If one ignored the fact that Xiu was a bit scrawny and focused on her delicate features, it wasn't hard to tell that she was a real beauty.

"It's a gift for my friend." That was the only reply Xiu gave making the sales attendant feel a bit disappointed.

Xiu was trudging her way towards the counter for payment when the surrounding whispers got to her ear.

"Aya! This Meng Chaun is really becoming a Zhong Cao Machine[1] these days. My mother saw her advertisement for that new Glory Perfume and immediately asked me to buy it for her. She's really getting influential." A girl that looked to be in her early twenties was talking to her friend.

"It's not just your mother. Even mine asked me for the same lipstick that Meng Chuan applied to her fan at the last fan meeting." The other girl replied.

"Hey, but let's not forget the original Zhong Cao Machine of our nation." Another one of the girls joined in just when Xiu was losing interest in these gossips when she heard her own name. "Goddess Xiu was the real deal back in the day. Don't you remember? Even though social media wasn't as strong as it is today, people would still buy whatever she wore even in her normal outings."

Xiu gave a bitter smile at this comment. Indeed, her fashion influence was off the charts back then. But why did it seem like it had been centuries? It clearly had only been five years but a lot had changed.

"Don't talk about that hypocrite! She was just a beautiful vase."

"All that backlash was well deserved!"

"Guys, don't talk bad about a dead soul." The girl who mentioned Chen Xiu spoke again.

"Stop always supporting her. She only committed suicide to hide her evil deeds. If she hadn't jumped down that balcony, people might have pushed her themselves."

Those hurtful words pierced Xiu where it hurt the most. She had bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from breaking down. But her pale face was clear give-away that she was hurt.

Today was really not her day as it was the second time, she was reminded of her wounds that had just scabbed.

The sales attendant had noticed her odd behavior but didn't comment. But when Xiu passed her credit card for the payment, the sales attendant spoke in a gossipy manner, "These young kids know nothing these days. People like us only knew what status Chen Xiu held in the industry." Xiu gave her a surprised look. The sales attendant thought she didn't know anything as she continued, "Miss, you might not know this but Goddess Xiu was the first Asian endorser for Chanel. And our outlet's had gone in a frenzy back then. She could make sand turn to gold just like she made our local brand of jewelry an international one with just being an endorser for it."

Xiu silently took the bags from her hand and collected her card as well. "Miss, do come to shop again. Also, please don't mind my rambling. I just feel a bit sad that such a bright star ended in such a pitiful manner. I get a bit emotional."

Xiu shook her head at her saying, "I don't mind. Thanks for your help." With her kind smile, Xiu left the store.

Right outside, she saw an advertisement screen with Meng Chuan holding a Glory Perfume bottle. Xiu gave it a fleeting glance and walked away. Did she miss those days? Not in a million years! No one felt more fed up of that industry than her.

Besides, a star was always meant to fade away. She just became one of those who faded too soon.

She shrugged her shoulders at that thought in a nonchalant manner but with a huge weight on her heart.

But feeling happy with her gift for Nora, Xiu was in high spirits. Imagining the look on Nora's face, she was inwardly grinning. That silly girl would really go crazy with this surprise.

[1] "Zhong Cao Machine": Zhong Cao means to "plant grass," and describes the effect when someone sees something owned by a friend or family member, or an advertisement for a product, and wants it. The effect is like planting a seed in their minds. It refers to someone who holds the power to sway the public's fashion preferences.


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Bab 15: A Strange Stranger

Just when Xiu entered the Mala Hotpot Restaurant, she felt like she was back in ancient times. A beautiful hostess in an elegant qipao bowed and greeted her with a gentle smile.

Xiu returned the gesture with her own smile.

"Miss, are you here with someone?" The hostess was inquiring politely.

"Yes, my friend, Nora must be here." Xiu even tried to look around but on the wooden tables couldn't find her.

"Ah. Please follow me, Miss," the hostess ushered her through the dining area.

The combination of red and black really caught Xiu's attention. Even the tables had a generous space between them which ensured privacy for diners. Closely following the hostess, Xiu noticed how the restaurant was fully packed. It was no wonder Nora knew about this place. It must be quite influential.

The hostess brought her to a private room and left after bowing to her.

"Baby Xiu'er, what took you so long?" Nora immediately bombarded her with her questions, not even letting Xiu catch a breath. Without saying a word, Xiu placed the shopping bag in her hand at the table. Nora eyed it for a while and when she opened it, a shrill shriek of excitement escaped from her mouth. "You still treat me the best," Nora said while hugging her like a koala.

Xiu patted her arm that was around her shoulders and said, "Don't be dramatic. It's your reward for learning self-restraint." She rubbed the space between her brows and continued, "I wish you could have the same restraint with your boyfriend's list as well."

"What's taking them so long?" Nora changed the topic yet again very conveniently. But seemed like the luck was also on her side as the door opened and a couple of servers came to place their order.

Seeing that Xiu decided to not push this topic anymore. She looked at the steaming hotpot and her eyes glossed up behind the steam.

Holding her chopsticks, Xiu picked up a fishball and blew on it before taking a bite. Her tongue felt the assault of spices making her face red immediately.

"Baby Xiu'er, it's their special Extremely spicy flavored hotpot. You should eat from the other pot of mild flavor. That's for you." Nora reminded her with concern.

Xiu shook her head and said, "It's okay. I feel like eating this flavor. It's so good." She was lying. She never was fond of spices. But she insisted on eating these extreme spices because she felt like this way, she'd be able to hide her real tears that were threatening to spill out.

'Don't talk about that hypocrite!'

'All the backlash was well-deserved.'

'Chen Xiu, if you have any sense, leave the industry immediately!'

'It'd be better if you just die. So what if you have talent. You're the most horrendous person.'

'People like you should be stripped off of your clothes or better yet, their skins!'

The voices from earlier mixed in with the voices from the past came like a gust of memories that slowly tried to penetrate her heart.

Nora saw her small nose getting extremely red along with her glossy eyes. Her clear eyes looked like they were in a daze. But she still saw Xiu stubbornly stuffing that spicy hotpot in her mouth while wiping her snot and tears with a tissue. She looked like an utter mess. Or she seemed devastated. Nora wasn't sure anymore. She hadn't even seen Bai Xiu like this when her mother died.

Somehow, Nora's heart was sure that she was using this hotpot to hide her tears from her. But why?

With a long calming breath, Nora held Xiu's wrist and stopped her from torturing herself. It was indeed torture since, at this point, Xiu's tongue was completely numb.

"That's enough," Nora said softly while she wrapped her arms around Xiu's shoulders and let her head lean against her chest. "If you want to cry, I won't stop you. I won't even ask you. But please, stop hiding from me."

Nora's words made Xiu finally break in sobs. But she still didn't want Nora to see her breaking apart. So, she shot up from her seat and ran outside the room. As she saw the sign of bathrooms at the end of the hallway, she frantically ran inside and locked the door from inside.

Hugging herself in a protective manner, Xiu dragged her body and stood before the mirrors to look at herself. The face staring back at her was looking like a riped tomato but she could feel the burn of spices on her lips even now.

Looking at herself she sniggered, "In the end, you're still that coward who chose the easy way out." She placed her hand under the running water of the tap and splashed her face a few times. "This is who you were. You're still the same. Nothing can change about you. How long are you going to let your past dictate your future?"

She was screaming at her reflection like a madwoman. She felt pathetic. Not because she was reminded of the past. But because she realized that she was still letting others words rule her life. She was letting those unimportant people's words get to her head and mess with it. It made her feel ashamed.

She wasn't just ashamed to face herself. She was ashamed to face the person who gave her the right to live as Bai Xiu. With a 'thud' she dropped on her knees and the marble floor hit her knees hard but she felt nothing as the pain in her heart was much worse.

In this new life, she was letting the wounds of her past life get to her. She felt it was not fair with the real Bai Xiu. Not at all!

She held her head in her hands and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Bai Xiu! I really am sorry!" She was mumbling all by herself, "I was always innocent but how did I end up here?"

"Asking for forgiveness is pointless unless your own heart forgives you." Suddenly, Xiu heard another voice in the silent bathroom. She whipped her head to see a man leaning against the wall near the washbasin. "Innocence has a peculiar quirk about it; every innocent ends up being the guilty one." She saw him pushing his body off the wall and standing straight.

That's when she noticed his beautifully tall stature. He has casually dressed in a pair of trousers and a red jacket with a crisp white shirt underneath. He was wearing white sneakers and a Vacheron Constantin on his wrist.

He walked towards her kneeling figure and as he stood against the light, his shadow fell on Xiu and blocked her vision. She had to arch her neck and look up at him. Suddenly, her honey-brown orbs collided with a pair of gray orbs. Her eyes widened at the way those eyes bore into her. She was actually really absorbed in them.

He passed a tissue to her and turned to leave not before saying over his shoulder, "You might think that most of your life belong in that past. But don't forget that the past is already gone. Now, it's just a memory that can only hurt you or teach you a lesson if you're willing to learn."

With these words, he took long strides to walk out leaving a dumbfounded Xiu on the cold floor with her knees aching badly.


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