—
"Holy shit really?!" Teeth was amazed when he put two and two together and realized PaciFire was another of the friends I'd seen in my 'vision'. He seemed thrilled and really wanted to go and meet PaciFire. "Oh my gosh! A demon! A cool demon with horns and glowing eyes!!" He squee'd.
I was banging my head on the side of the couch. A demonic wrestler. Oh my god I can't even...
Keyhole looked back and forth between us. "What?" He asked. I groaned and didn't respond. Teeth began excitedly telling Keyhole about my Future Vision. He took the news well, especially once he realized that it didn't matter in the end if I knew he was going to be my friend or not. He liked us. He liked living with us. That was all that mattered.
Teeth ran off to tell everyone the good news. I was just not sure how to feel. Fucking professional television wrestler/actor. Oh my god why?!?!
My brain thought this was the perfect moment to blare the JOHN CENA!!! theme music in my head. God dammit brain! I hate you.
I had to go to the dimension of pillows to scream for hours about it.
---
"Bill where the HELL have you been?!" Kryptos cries when I got back. He looked relieved to see me. Frantic, but relieved.
"Ugh..." I collapsed face down on the couch. I seem to be doing that a lot. Maybe I should just make a face-plant cushion and put one in every room. Oh, I should make them all different colors.
"Ok. I'm ready to hear what you guys think about the new friend we've accidentally discovered." I groaned.
Before Kryptos could answer me, I was barreled over by Xanthar, aside from my instinctual flinch I didn't react negatively to his enthusiastic welcome. He snuggled his large face into me. "Ah! Xan-Xan! Ok! Whoa! What's wrong?" I sputtered and pushed at him as he squished me under his bulk. I felt a lot of 'worry' from him.
"I'm fine Xanthar. I'm sorry I was gone for so long." Sometimes I worry about how anxious he got whenever I leave for long periods of time or when I leave without telling anyone. I need to keep better track of time between dimensions. If only for the sake of his peace of mind. I sometimes leave for years when exploring a new dimension and the only reason everyone hasn't noticed how long I've been gone is due to dimensional-temporal shifts and my careful re-entries.
A quick look around brought up a question. "Where're Teeth and Keyhole?" I didn't sense them here. Too impatient to wait for an answer I just Flickered through some images to track them down instead. "What the fuck?!"
Hectorgon sighed. He knew me well enough by now to know when I'm using my powers to look up information. The fact that my eye or bricks tend to flash through the images was a pretty good indicator. "After Teeth found out that an actor from his favorite TV show was 'destined'-" Hectorgon made air quotes "-to become our friend, he decided to try and meet him in person."
Ammy floated over to sit beside me as I managed to get Xanthar off me. "Teeth dragged Keyhole with him in case he needed to break into the filming studio."
I groaned and massaged my bricks. Ammy gave me a careful pat on the back. "What did you see Bill?" He asked.
"The two got arrested. They would have been released with just a warning but Teeth started some trouble with his big mouth and they're currently awaiting bail." I sighed. "At least it's not you this time Pyronica."
"Fuck you too Bill."
This DID mean that Teeth and Keyhole were now registered in the Federation system for minor crimes of breaking and entering, insulting an officer and resisting arrest. Add that to Xanthar being very well known to the Federation as being Bill Cipher's beloved pet (it still irked me that they assumed he was a pet), Hectorgon's high risk profile and Pyronica's long list of minor thefts and longer list of consumption/murder of random people...
I turned to Ammy and placed a hand on him. "Ammy." I turned to stare at Kryptos. "-Kryptos, promise me that you two won't get arrested. Be sneaky. Be quick. Leave a block at home always so you can pull yourself through and out of danger before the PoPo can get you."
Amorphous Shape and Kryptos were the only ones who still didn't have a record. I hoped to keep it that way.
Ammy gave me a serious nod. "I will be like a ninja. A shadow in the night. No cop will ever get me for I am one with the darkness." He said this all with a straight face and perfectly even tone. I think I've made him watch too much Anime. Regardless, I gave him a proud look.
Kryptos gave me a bemused look. "I'll try my best?"
Pyronica was face palming pretty hard.
"Well now that THAT'S out of the way. Lets go pay bail..."
Kryptos's stomach rumbled.
"...after dinner." I finished.
---
Ramen with sauteed vegetables and hard boiled eggs!
Delicious and easy to make~
Cut up onions, garlic, carrots and asparagus (or whatever vegetables you like, having onions is a must though because onions are wonderful), add to a skillet with plenty of butter and some peas, cook on medium heat until the onions change color and everything smells yummy.
The ramen is just cooked in a pot of boiling water for a few minutes (flavor with whatever you want), scoop out the noodles and boil the egg in the remaining soup for 10 minutes and cut it up.
This has been your MINI-episode of Cooking with Bill because we're in a rush to get my friends out of hold-in and I don't have time for a full episode!
---
I realize absently that the Death Star didn't have a telephone so neither Teeth or Keyhole could actually call us for help. If I wasn't able to just See where they are at any time they would have been fucked.
"Also, we're gonna go shopping for mini-communicators." I tell everyone as we cleaned the dishes.
---
"I would ask what you were thinking but I can make a pretty good guess." I say simply while I paid bail to get Teeth and Keyhole out of jail. The Mouth had the decency to blush. Keyhole looked mortified. The demon police officers were staring at me in awe.
"We hadn't realized these two were your companions mister Cipher." The chief apologizes. I wave him off. "It's fine."
Federation rule over this particular planet was pretty lax. There was enough to set up rules and laws but for the most part, they self governed. It made sense. A planet full of demonic creatures were more difficult for the Federation to fully control. They couldn't go around outlawing the existence of demons if the entire sentient population were demons.
Also, the climate here was difficult to live in (hot sulfuric steam coming out of vents in the earth, the far distance from their star leading to a darker atmosphere with dim lighting being just a few examples) so it would take too much effort to kill off or subjugate the native people and then terra-form the planet.
Also, their TV shows were incredibly popular in the multiverse. Watching baby-like demons doing stuff apparently made for good entertainment. Aside from Demon Baby Fights they also had several drama shows, a game show (Will it Burn?) and several reality shows about life on a hell-planet. Aside from their contributions to the entertainment industry, this planet was mainly relevant to the Federation for mining purposes. Their planet contained a large amount of helium. It formed underground from the decay of other materials and the Federation really wanted to harvest it. Getting helium from the ground was much easier than trying to harvest a star.
The Federation worked out the trade system several centuries back and for the most part this planet was left to its own devices. It meant I didn't have to deal with any trouble when picking up my wayward companions.
I was still annoyed at Teeth for dragging Keyhole here with him.
"Do you know why I'm annoyed with you?" I asked Teeth as he wilted before me. The mouth shifted from leg to leg nervously. "Um...because I got us arrested?" He asks.
"Yes. But that's not the main problem." I sighed. "You took Keyhole with you and went at this without a proper plan. If you're gonna pull a heist you need to have enough power or skill to get it done or get back up at LEAST." I scolded him. "You could have asked Pyronica or Hectorgon for help? You could have asked Kryptos or Ammy for help?"
"What about Xanthar?" Teeth asks hopefully.
"If you get my darling baby involved in something like this I will rip out your teeth to finish building the stepping stones in my garden." I narrowed my eye at him. He wisely nodded.
"I just thought it would be easy...I wanted to meet the cast of Demon Baby Fights..." Teeth whimpered.
"We can still do that. Just make sure you get back up next time." I grin and give Teeth a pat on the head. "Now I just so happen to know that Demon Baby Fights has a live show a week from now. They're selling tickets~"
Teeth starts jumping in excitement. "I wanna go! I wanna go! Please!" His eagerness was adorable. Hectorgon stroked his chin in thought. "So are we going to see what kind of person this PaciFire is? Since he's a future friend?"
"Is he gonna be as violent as he is in the show?" Keyhole worries. Pyronica gives him a gentle pat on the head. "I'm sure he's perfectly nice."
---
"RRRRAAAAGH!!!"
Teeth and I cheered as PaciFire twisted GabbyGum's horn off. The large out cropping of bone snapped free from the unfortunate demon's skull with a sickening crack. There was blood spraying out of the ring and into the audience. Keyhole had gone pale. "I thought these were special effects..."
Pyronica hoots loudly. "Fuck! This is so fucking COOL! I thought this shit was faked!"
Kryptos and Hectorgon looked a little queasy. Ammy winced a little when a bone fragment fell near us. "That...appears quite painful..." He curled a few blocks around himself. Xanthar was off with Queen today, he didn't really want to come. Poor dear didn't do well with violence.
I probably shouldn't have brought the others now that I think about it. I tried to reassure them "These guys have a very high regeneration rate and they're all dosed with pain inhibitors before a fight. They have a fully staffed medical team out back as well."
Ammy seemed a little more comfortable but he still wrapped his hand around mine. I squeezed gently and gave a few flickers of flame. Kryptos shuddered when GabbyGums was tossed out of the ring. "Does he have to be so...vicious though?"
I shrugged. "They do this whenever a new Demon is introduced. Give them a few brutal fights where they show off their specialties and style, establish their character. You know?"
Teeth nods. "They did this with TubbyTummy when he first showed up too. His intro was exploding out of the earth amongst a geyser of lava. His first few matches invoked that whole hellfire aesthetic. I'm thinking that PaciFire being summoned via blood sacrifice means his fights would be...well...more bloody."
"Bloody fucking AWESOME you mean!" Pyronica jumps in delight as BigBottom enters the ring to challenge PaciFire. Back to back fights huh? The writers must really want to make PaciFire seem like a big deal. Up in the ring BigBottom loudly calls the other demon out for thinking he's all that just because he's new.
They exchanged some trash talk. PaciFire snarling out "You're just jealous that Momma gives me more attention."
"That's only because you're a BEDWETTER who refuses to wear a diaper!" BigBottom shoots back.
The crowd lets out a low "Oooh..." Teeth waves his arms "Ah fuck! He's calling you out man!"
PaciFire doesn't back down. "At least I don't leave poop trails when I walk."
The audience gasps. I jump up and down wildly. "You just gonna take that Bottom!?"
BigBottom lets out an enraged scream, sprouting needle-like spines along his arms as he lunges for his opponent. Teeth and Pyronica start yelling, their words being swallowed by the screaming crowd around us. "Stab his eyes out!" Pyronica screeched.
The fight was absolutely brutal. Kryptos and Keyhole actually had to turn away. Hectorgon was pulling at his mustache nervously. Ammy was the one to remark things like "I'm sure eyes are supposed to stay inside the body.", "How can he still run so fast despite losing all three legs?" or "They can really regrow that much skin?"
Pyronica and Teeth were really into it. A torn off tail fell near us and Teeth snatched it up as a souvenir. "Demons are so cool!" Our group stuck out as being the only non-Demon imps in the audience (though Pyronica almost fit in if it weren't for her matured adult-like figure). Also, me, glowing gold and all that.
After body slamming BigBottom into the mat and pinning him for the 10 second count, PaciFire roars out into the crowed. "ANY CHALLENGERS FROM THE AUDIENCE?!"
Since the regeneration was a racial thing and most of the audience were more demon imps, it made sense that they would have some audience participation. I could already see the medical team ready with painkillers to give to any volunteers. Teeth nudged me. "Bill. You should go up."
"ExCUSE~me?!"
"Come on! It would be so cool! And you can get an IN to talk to him later." Teeth persuaded. I know the reasons he gave were valid but I've never wrestled before. The most experience I have with it was when Zyun-Zeon tested out some moves on me and Kei for fun.
"I've never really wrestled before..." I say hesitantly.
"Come on~please?" Teeth whines.
Well I DO want an excuse to talk to PaciFire after the show...alright fine. I raised my hand up, a pillar of blue flame shooting up around me. "Hey! I'll take you on!"
"Bill...you don't have to do this..." Keyhole says nervously. I shrug. "I will try my best to avoid injuries on both sides."
The spotlight lands on me and there's a hushed silence. "Bill Cipher..." PaciFire says in surprise.
"That IS my name." I float up to the ring, adjusting my bowtie as I went. "Why people feel the need to tell me my own name is beyond me." I touch down on the mat, standing across from the two mouthed demon. "I'm saying this now, I've never really wrestled before."
I'm certain I made for a strange sight. I was half PaciFire's size, nearly flat and standing there with my cane and top hat like the sophisticated gentleman I was. Everyone seemed to be at a loss for words. The referee came up "No offense Mr. Cipher but are you sure you wish to volunteer?" The ref flinched when I turn my gaze to him. "N-not that we are doubting your power it's just...you're not exactly...built for this sort of thing..."
I suppose I'm not. My thin noodle limbs and small stature did not look like it stands a chance here. I had to agree with them. "True. I suppose I'm not quite wrestler material...so how about this?"
My bricks swelled up, my form widening into a three dimensional pyramid shape as I grew larger. My arms and legs thickened and my lower bricks opened into a large mouth. I slammed my larger, clawed hands onto the mat and growled. "Would this be better?"
They couldn't really say anything to that.
The crowd started cheering ""FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!""
I admit I was a little worried. I haven't really...physically fought anyone before in this life. Zyun-Jan got into a few scuffles but nothing major. The referee looks at PaciFire who shrugs. I think about the story line so far and flick my fingers, producing a plate of warm, freshly baked cookies. Everyone's eyes zero in on the plate. "How about this~" I say clearly. "You win, you get these delicious cookies..." I waved the plate around so everyone could get a whiff of just how good they were (I could see many demons in the audience salivating already). I worked damn hard to bake these so they better appreciate them.
"...and if I win...well..." I move the spotlight to point on Teeth "...my friend there wants to meet the cast. We're huge fans of this show." I encased the plate of cookies in a bubble. "Does that sound fair?"
The two mouthed demon was still staring at the cookies. "So...I just have to beat you?"
"Get me out of the ring or pin me for 10 seconds." I shrug. He tears his eyes away from the cookies to stare at me. "I can do that."
I readied myself for a fight.
I was not expecting just how much he wanted those cookies.
"Ffffuck~" I hissed. He was grappling me and we slammed into the mat over and over again as we each tried to grab and shove at each other. I admit my balance wasn't very good. I'm not used to being pyramidal in shape and I was knocked down pretty often. The only reason I hadn't lost yet being the fact that I could sprout another arm to shove myself off the ground whenever I fell over.
"I WILL HAVE THOSE COOKIES!!!" He bellows as his eyes begin glowing and he spits out eye-bats from his stomach mouth. I didn't have time to be impressed and intrigued by how they managed to travel through the mini-portal inside him and not die of suffocation since PaciFire was already charging at me again.
I stretched out my arm and whipped it out at him like a tripwire, knocking his feet out from under him and leaping into the air to land on him with my (embarrassingly) large bottom side. He managed to roll out of the way as I landed, the impact sending loud shockwaves as my heavy mass shook the ground.
"飞刀手!!!" I shout the name of my attack as my arms began whipping around in circles like a windmill. It sliced up the mat beneath us as I slid along the ground towards him. He rolls back onto his feet quickly and easily dodges my silly attack.
"千码剪刀脚!!!" I used my hands to push off the ground and extended my legs out at my opponent in a kick. He stands his ground and shoulder slams into my bottom side.
I maaaay~have let out a screech at a pitch that broke every electrical equipment in the area because I forgot how sensitive my bottom side was.
The ring was encased in darkness as all the spotlights exploded and the camera with the live broadcast went dead. The demons all blinked, their eyes readjusting to the darkness as I howled in pain, my bricks falling apart to thrash around the ring wildly in waves. PaciFire was at a loss for words as he watched my disassembled bricks writhe around in the ring.
"Fuck!!! I thought there were rules against HITTING BELOW THE BELT!!!" I wailed (my voice was disembodied since I was currently shattered into many pieces). The crowd made a sympathetic "Ooh..." groan.
While the referee was trying to figure out how to call this, my bricks began rolling toward PaciFire. He jumps as my bricks start building around his legs, trapping him in place. He struggles and tries to get free but my bricks crawl over him as he begins to panic. He starts screaming and the Eye bats began shooting at my bricks with little petrifying lasers.
While it worked to freeze a few of my bricks, I sent a couple to knock the Eye bats out of the air. Something about birds and stones came to mind but I couldn't think of a clever quip at the moment. Also, controlling my bricks while I was broken into so many pieces was kinda difficult.
I effectively pinned him down under my bricks. The demon was struggling pretty hard. It actually felt quite uncomfortable. "Hey Ref! Count already, this feels super weird and I don't wanna hold him any longer than I need to."
That snapped the referee out of his horrified stupor and he quickly made the 10 second count. PaciFire was howling in rage the whole time, pulling at his bonds and generally just...touching me everywhere and this felt so weird I hate itwhycan'tthefuckingrefcountanyfaster?!
"-10!"
I was immediately off my opponent, my bricks coming back together to rebuild my body piece by piece. I shuddered, shaking my limbs out. Gross. Gross. Gross.
PaciFire grumbled about how I don't fight fair. "Hey kid, you summoned helpers. I don't see why anything I did would be considered unfair." I fixed my hat and bowtie. "Also you hit me in my privates so you should just be glad I didn't tear your molecules apart." He did look apologetic about that, if his nervous shuffle was any indicator. Or maybe he was just embarrassed for accidentally touching my bottom side.
I turned to the camera crew. "Sorry for breaking everything. I'm sure you can understand." A few of them had their legs clamped together at the memory. One whimpered. "It's perfectly understandable Mr. Cipher."
Pyronica was leaning on Keyhole's large head, laughing her ass off. The rest of them (except Ammy) were wincing in sympathy. Nice to know at least SOME of them felt bad for me. That really hurt...
Like, I don't even have balls but STILL!
I turned back to PaciFire and tipped my hat to him. "This was an interesting experience. Since the fight didn't exactly go like a typical one, I'm going to call this a tie." I gestured and the plate of cookies landed in front of him. "You can have my homemade cookies."
Still can't believe it took me this long to figure out how cookies worked. Why is baking so hard?! I need to practice more. They taste fine but they all end up melting together into one giant cookie. Which, in this case, meant they were the perfect size for the demon imp. He makes a delighted sound and quickly shoves the cookie into his 2nd mouth.
He freezes after a few chews and I worriedly poked at him with my cane. "Are you alright?"
"You...made these?" PaciFire asks me slowly. I nod. He swallows. He walks over to me, towering over me now that I was back in my normal size and takes one of my hands. I hide my flinch. "W-what is it?"
He stares deep into my eye. "Marry me."
"""WHAT!?!?""" My friends scream.
"EH!?!?!??!" I cry.
---
We sat around with the cast and crew after the show. I repaired all their equipment so they could finish filming. I was thankful they broke BEFORE the....um...proposal. I was a solid shade of orange as PaciFire sat beside me.
Tubby nudges him. "Were those cookies really that good?" He was salivating at the prospect of it. A few of the others were gathered around too. I just flushed darker.
"They were crispy on the outside but warm and gooey inside. They were sweeter than anything I've ever tasted." PaciFire's tail wiggled happily at the memory of it.
"Yeah, Bill's cooking is pretty good. The cookies are new though. He only started baking recently." Teeth says as he pokes at HighChair's horns. "Omigosh I can't believe I'm actually meeting you guys! I've been a fan of your show since FOREVER!"
"Recently? You mean they're THAT good when he's still inexperienced with them?" PaciFire stares at me in awe. I bury my face in my hands. "It's not that big a deal! I just use lots of sugar and butter!"
"Sugar?" The demons all asked me.
Right, not a lot of plants on this planet. Much less sugarcane. Their cookies were made from lots of imported ingredients from Federation trade ships. Commercially produced Sugar is uncommon in the multiverse. There are plenty of sweet glucose producing plants but none of these aliens have so thoroughly and single mindedly isolated Sugar in it's pure form for use in cooking. Most of them don't bother breeding sugary plants themselves when it was much easier to simply find a planet that already produces sugary substances and opening trade relations with them.
Most cooking in the multiverse used the actual plants in the cooking process. Isolating the sugar from fruits and stuff into a white powder for use in other recipes wasn't a common practice. There were some places that did it but it was rare.
I spent eons messing with molecules to reproduce the stuff I remember from Earth. Sugar, chocolate, various spices and flavorings...it was a long and arduous process. If I could just go grocery shopping or gather ingredients in some other way I preferred to do that over manually creating the stuff.
What I'm trying to say is that my cookies contained a lot more sugar and flavoring than they're used to, sugar being expensive and thus they could only use it sparingly. I didn't think it would be this important to them.
I wiggled in my seat. "Look, I'm flattered and all but I don't really know you...we've only just met and I don't think this would work out between us..." I glanced at the demon imp. "Also, if you're just after my cooking I can assure you that you don't have to marry me to get access to it."
"Ooh! Ooh! Would you like to be our friend?" Teeth chatters eagerly. "Then you can move in with us and Bill cooks almost everything!"
I flick Teeth's side. "You make it sound like cooking is all I do. I have other hobbies too you know."
I frown at PaciFire "Also I'm a little put off by the fact that you're only proposing to me because you like my cookies."
Pyronica laughs as she flops beside me on the bench. We were all sitting around the studio, the demons here were much like the ones in Hell in that they were huge fans of me and what I do. Apparently, Demons that make Deals, Contracts and Wishes were seen as being sophisticated while Demons that caused large scale destruction were seen as badass. I was both. It was yet another contradiction of my nature and they found it amazing that I had such a wide array of talents. Pyronica just found it hilarious. "Well you DO make a good homemaker Bill."
"I...have considered being a stay home wife..." I admitted "But I would go stir crazy if I couldn't work."
"So? Wanna be our friend? You get plenty of benefits~" Teeth continues to try and sell PaciFire on the idea. The large demon imp rubbed his chin in thought. "Would I get more cookies?"
"Ugh~my only worth is not my cooking!" I complained.
Pyronica was laughing and leaning on me. I pouted. She held my hand and grinned at me. "Well I think you would make a lovely wife. You stud magnet you~Seriously would this be the 5th time some guy has proposed to you?"
"What?!" I sputtered. "What were the 4 other times?!"
She starts counting them out on her fingers "That guy we met at that bar with the alcoholic ice cream sundae. That guy we met at the restaurant with severed heads on the menu. The two guys we met at that dance club with the nuclear waste jelly shots..."
"They were proposing?! I thought they were just creepy flirting with me!" I blushed in embarrassment. Pyronica laughs. "Asking to be eaten is pretty much a proposal in my society."
"I can't believe so many people have proposed to Bill." Kryptos face palms.
"I can't believe you remember where you went by what you ate." Hectorgon sighs.
"Did you get their numbers?" Teeth laughed as he nudged me. I rolled my eye. "No. We were TRYING to find Pyronica a mate. For some dumb reason the guys kept going after ME."
"I'm sure it's because they could tell you would be a good mother." Ammy assured me. I shuddered. "Yeah, no, I really don't want to birth my own child. That sounds scary."
"The great Bill Cipher, scared of pregnancy? Say it ain't so!" Teeth gasps dramatically. I push him off his seat. "Oof!"
"Pregnancy is terrifying. A tiny little parasite inside you, leeching off your life force as it grows..." I shuddered. "No thank you. It's great if other women want to do it, but not me!"
"You have the weirdest hang ups." Pyronica sighs.
Keyhole was walking up to GabbyGums. "A-are you alright? You got torn apart out there."
The large jawed demon grins. "Yeah I'm great. It didn't hurt at all and I'll be fully healed by tomorrow." It waved it's half reformed legs at him. "See?" Keyhole sighed in relief.
Meanwhile I was observing PaciFire. He seemed friendly enough. Laughing and joking with his co-stars with an air of 'content' around him. I sigh and float off to the snack table.
I sing softly "But I don't know~where I'm supposed to go~these stories I've calculated to and fro~" because I don't know what to do now. Teeth was all for taking in PaciFire but I haven't really found a real reason to want him yet. I notice he followed me to snack table.
PaciFire tilts his head at me. "Love Songs by Jan-Jan?" He asked.
I blinked. "You listen to Jan?"
"Pssh, everyone listens to Jan-Jan." He scoffs. I suppose that's true. "What do you like about him?" I ask. It's not that I'm fishing for compliments, I'm actually curious. I went out of my way to avoid my fans for fear of being found out so it would be nice to actually speak to one.
PaciFire shrugs. "Same things as most people I guess. I like the music. I like his fire shows. I like how he's got such a wide genre of styles. He said during an interview that he sings Covers but no one can find the original songs that he's apparently covering." He shrugs. "Not that it matters. I like his work regardless." He peers at me. "You're a fan too?"
"I love music. Always have." I respond instead. "What's your favorite song?"
"Hold Release Rakshasa and Carcasses."
I frown. "You're lying." He flinched. "You do like that song, but it's not your favorite." He glances back at everyone else who are distracted talking to each other. "Why are you lying about something like this?" I stare at him.
He glances at the others again, checking that none of them were paying us any mind. "Because it's embarrassing." He mutters. "They'll make fun of me if they knew."
"Well I guess it'll be our secret then." I grinned at him.
He glances back again. "Promise you won't tell anyone?" I nod. "Promise."
"...Electric Angel..."
I stare wide eyed. "Really?!" He shushed me. "Don't tell anyone!"
"What's so bad about like that one? Sure it's adorable as fuck but..." I see his expression. "...and that's the problem isn't it?"
He sighs. "Cute things like that are fine but they're 'un-demon-like' and you get made fun of for liking stuff like that." He shrugs. "I got enough of THAT when I was a kid." He frowns heavily. "I worked hard to establish myself as a proper vicious demon. I finally get respect."
"But what's the point of respect if you're unhappy?"
"I'm not unhappy." He protested. I give him a knowing look. "Pretending to be something you're not only makes you unhappy. I know firsthand."
He glances back at the others again. "It bothers you doesn't it? Having to keep up a facade in front of your friends." This wasn't JUST about his music preferences. This issue ran much deeper.
He turned back to look at me. "Yeah. It kinda does." I take his hand for a sympathetic squeeze. "Then why keep doing it? I don't have a right to criticize since I have a 'public' persona too but at least I'm myself around my friends."
"Because I don't want to go back to before. I don't want to be looked down on like that anymore." He takes his hand back. "It's not that big of a problem. I'm not faking my personality with them or anything. I'm still every bit the vicious fighter they know me as." He shrugs. "So I can put up with the uncomfortable remarks when they make fun of stuff I secretly like."
He shakes his head. "Why am I telling you all this? We only just met?"
"Says the man who proposed to me in front of the entire audience." I laugh. He laughs too. "You're easy to talk to." He admits.
"I'm a good listener."
"I thought you just SEE everything. The Federation claims you're always watching."
"Oh I do. I just don't always pay attention. Imagine seeing every thing happening at once all over the multiverse at the same time. It's a headache. I pick and choose what I pay attention to just to save myself some pain."
"Sounds rough." PaciFire grabs a drink from the snack table.
I shrug. "You get used to it after 5 billion years."
"How old ARE you?"
"Um..." I did some quick calculations in my head "...about 240 billion standard galactic years or so?" I was actually grateful to Time Baby for making Standard Galactic Time. It really helps to keep track of stuff since all planets had different rotation speeds and orbit cycles around their nearest star.
".....dang...."
I shrug. "It gets lonely sometimes."
PaciFire looks at my friends laughing as they chatted about something with the demons. "Even with them around?" I gazed at my friend sadly. "I travel a lot. I find new dimensions. New worlds. New knowledge. I get antsy if I stay in one place for too long."
I rub my arms and turned my gaze to the ground. "Since I can pop in and out of a dimension at different points in time, no one notices how long I've been gone. Sometimes..." I sigh. "...sometimes I don't see my friends for years. They don't notice and I don't really go out of my way to tell them about it. It's not all that important in the long run. But sometimes I just feel really alone..."
Whenever the loneliness gets too much, I just pop back home and spend a few days hanging out with everyone. Sometimes it's jarring. When I realize how much older I was, how much more I've experienced without them. It makes me feel even more lonely. I love them all so much but sometimes I just feel empty or tired and I just wish I could sleep. I wish I could just...stop thinking for a while. I wish I didn't have this jittery feeling that forced me to always be on the move.
Sometimes I can calm myself enough to sit around and do nothing. Meditation is the closest I've come to true rest. When I can relax and exist in the moment instead of constantly needing to do SOMETHING stimulating. My friends don't understand how it feels. I tried to explain once, centuries ago. Pyronica didn't really get it. I don't blame her. I can tell she was trying to understand. But how do I explain to her the feeling of eons passing before me, being forced to watch entire planets form and die.
So yeah, I get lonely sometimes.
PaciFire nudges me lightly. I easily hide my flinch, I've gotten pretty good at that. "Well I don't know what it's like to be so old but I know what it feels like to be unable to talk about stuff with my friends."
He would of course. Feeling rather hypocritical I ask "Wouldn't you feel better if you COULD talk about that kinda thing with them?" PaciFire gives me a knowing look "You tell me."
I didn't have anything to say to that.
---
We kinda made friends with the whole cast and crew of Demon Baby Fights. It was fun being with them. They were rowdy and violent but there were no hard feelings. They were quite cheerful despite their career. Teeth got their I-mails and Communication serials so they could keep in touch. The mouth turns to give me pleading looks "Can we invite them over for parties?"
"Will there be cookies?" DiaperRash asks eagerly. His four eyes were wide with a rather adorable pupper-snup expression. He even ripped off Giggles's arm so he could hold it in his mouth to complete the look. "Dammit why are you guys so cute?!" I fume halfheartedly. "Yeah I can bake more cookies."
""YAY!""
"But if you guys DO come over for a party you better help with the clean up afterward or I WILL eat you."
"He's joking right?" TubbyTummy whispers to Kryptos. The compass shivers and pales. "Bill gets seriously upset when food ends up on the ground...it's terrifying..."
The demons all pale as well. I scoff. "Just don't make a mess and no one has to get hurt. It's not that difficult." They didn't look very reassured.
In the end, they ALL offered to be my Friend. But they didn't want to move in since they have their own homes. So...kinda like with Queen? I informed them that they could be my friend or my Friend. While Queen's immortality was an accident, if they wanted to become my Friend, they would no longer age because I expect my Friends to stay with me forever. From now until the end of time. To be Bill Cipher's Friend was an eternal commitment that they can't back out of.
I ended having to sort them as Inner circle and Outer circle of friends. My Inner circle would live with me and be granted immortality while my Outer circle were free to do as they wished and could call me up for play dates or help if they needed it. As I explained what it truly meant to be a Friend in my inner circle, the demons sheepishly turned me down but were fine with being an Outer friend.
I went through everyone one by one until I got to PaciFire. He just observed me quietly. Finally he spoke "Years and years of loneliness huh?"
I gave him a soft smile. "I like to be assured that they'll still be there whenever I happen to go home. I like knowing that I won't lose them if I ever left for too long."
He thinks over my response. Finally he sighs and grins. "Friends huh? From now until the end of time yes? I think I can do that."
He holds out his hand. I hold out mine but I don't shake yet. "Are you sure? You'll eventually leave your other friends behind." He sets his shoulders in a determined line.
"You didn't laugh at me." He says to the confusion of the people around us.
It was a remarkably simple reason that no one else understood but I felt myself relax. I got the underlying meaning in his words. "There was nothing to laugh at." I smiled.
We shook, my beautiful blue flame sealing the Deal. An eye shaped marking appeared on the cross on PaciFire's head. I felt content. I got a new friend. It was a nice feeling.
I look forward to getting to know this man.
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