Miz had told him and Stanley yesterday that she could skirt around the issue sometimes by having her own 'selfish' justifications for doing things. Like turning all the cafeteria slop into 'real' food being more because she wanted the kids to eat better food -- more for herself and her own beliefs on the matter -- than for the kids themselves. And also, because was fun. Cooking was fun for her, which was another 'selfish' thing.
When Bill had tossed up a perception filter to mask their conversation (and her current-form and then subsequent body-shift) on the walk to school that morning, and questioned her a little further on the issue, Miz had told him a little more about it, too. Miz had stated that her 'good' and 'bad' levels were always shifting. She'd explained that her powers felt more comfortable to her on the 'bad' side, but that she was able to sort of get a more balanced and closer to neutral equilibrium somewhat, if she tried. And what counted as 'good' or 'bad' for her seemed to change depending explicitly on her own intent at the time she was using her powers.
In Miz's on words, this was why sometimes she could get away with a lot of stuff that helped people without it counting as something 'good', and then causing her powers to rile up uncomfortably. ("Like feeding the homeless -- you know that's apparently against the law? So I'm being really bad when I make sure they don't starve to death! Same thing for sheltering refugees!" --And that left Bill worried about what might happen if that Time Baby of hers realized this, and then decided to change all of the laws in all of the dimensions he had control over, all at once; all while she wasn't Looking, or even thinking to Look.)
Bill was mainly worried over his sister's insistence that her powers were apparently sentient, though -- or at the very least, different from her own conscious wants. Miz had mentioned to him something about how she would have random thoughts and urges to do things that weren't always what she actually wanted to do.
"Like, I might suddenly think about how funny it would be to replace every carbon atom with an entire fish," she told them all (now filterless), as they sat down in homeroom together, waiting for the announcements to begin. "But then I realize that's a stupid idea. And it would probably mess up a lot of the universe."
Lee stared. "What?" he asked, and Miz groaned.
"Well, fish are made of carbon," Miz explained. "So each of those carbon atoms would turn into a fish, which means more carbon, on and on, infinitely creating more fish, until all energy in that universe runs out because they could no longer continue…"
"Define 'fish'," was the first thing Bill pointed out, because if 'a fish' was 'a carbon atom', then…
"Swimming animal I like to eat, it's made of carbon and other stuff already, though…" Miz sighed as Bill raised his eyebrows and started to smile at her. "Well, yeah, redefining what makes a fish would work, though I'd have to rewrite what the molecular makeup of a fish was beforehand. But even if that was fixed, there are plenty of other things I'd have to fix and it would just be a waste of time and energy for what was ultimately a passing thought that wasn't even all that important to me."
She huffed, folding her arms under her chest, unintentionally causing her breasts to be pushed up. "That's why I don't listen to all my random urges. I sometimes get one that I really want to do, but for the most part, I'm just ignoring them because they're not important."
"...Rrrrrrright. Well, that's good?" Lee scratched his head, a little disturbed by the whole 'turning everything into fish' thing, while Sixer seemed to be developing a headache at the idea of infinite fish.
Bill still didn't like all of this 'random urges' talk (because did she really not realize…? REALLY?) -- but he was also curious at this concept she seemed to be getting stuck on, because hadn't she considered…? "Little sis, haven't you ever looked at it sideways before?"
Miz blinked. "Sideways as in?" she asked.
"Sideways," Bill said, "As in, sideways... recursion?" --Yeesh, twentieth-century American English just wasn't cut out for this, was it? HA!
Bill thought for a moment, then tried to explain it a little more differently, with... "You have one fish. It has carbon atoms, which now need to be fish. You have a second fish. It is one of the 'carbon atom replacements' for the first fish. The second fish also has carbon atoms; the second fish needs a 'carbon atom replacement'," Bill said. "So you also have a third fish. It is one of the 'carbon atom replacements' for the second fish." Then he grinned. "The third fish needs a 'carbon atom replacement'. --The first fish is a 'carbon atom replacement' for the third fish." He paused for a moment. "It is a little like the 'left hand draws a left hand draws a left hand drawing the first left hand' picture. Have you Seen D.J. Escher's work?" Bill asked, because he'd suggested several acid trips to that artist upon summoning, and really, they'd worked out quite terribly! --Bill had been very pleased.
"--You do three fish instead of two fish," Bill told her next, "Because the first fish cannot easily be a 'carbon atom replacement' for the second fish, because the second fish is directly a part of the first fish as the first fish's 'carbon atom replacement'. --It's too close," Bill told her. "The folding-of-space LIKES a little more 'room to breathe', or it isn't quite as stable when other-things try to act on-and-upon it, and interact with it. --You set up the space-folds a little like a Mobius strip," he told her, "But NOT like a Mobius strip at all. --Maybe more like a Klein bottle, but also not like that at all EITHER." (...And this is why English was annoying and useless for explaining these things. The concepts just didn't translate properly AT ALL!)
Miz's eyes widened. "So just link the fish together so that they share their parts instead, therefore there wouldn't be infinite fish." That was brilliant. "But it would still end up turning people who are made of carbon into fish as well, and I don't think they would enjoy that."
"Yeah, no," Lee said to her quickly. "I like eating fish, not being fish!" He didn't want to get turned into some kind of fish strip. No way!
"You are what you eat," Bill said almost teasingly to Lee. "--Quite LITERALLY! --And you," Bill directed at his sister next, "Say that like people who are made of carbon are carbon, or people who are made of water are water." And Bill gave her an odd look at that. "The whole is not necessarily the subset-of-a-single-part-of-the-parts, when there is more than one subset of parts. --It USUALLY isn't -- and that's a good thing," he told her. "Things are more INTERESTING that way!" (Bill really liked talking mechanics and mechanisms of rules with his little sister! But when they strayed off into philosophy? She really seemed to end up somewhere far off in the mud to him...)
Miz thought about it. "I know that say, a human, is not made entirely of carbon, but if the carbon parts of them got replaced by fish…"
"...And how do you keep people from suffocating when they don't have oxygen to breathe without giving them oxygen to breathe, or changing their biology to not need oxygen or not need breathing?" Bill said leadingly. "--It's the same thing. Change the rules so that having fish-replacements is fine," Bill shrugged off.
Miz thought about it some more. "I'd have to start a new dimension with those rules already in place. Suddenly changing that rule would probably distress the people that have carbon as part of their make up if they suddenly started sprouting fish."
"Hit pause; stop EVERYTHING -- not just a stop-time -- until you're done changing things," Bill said, "And add two rules, not one! Second rule: no people 'distress' about carbon atoms being fish now."
"But wouldn't that mess with their free will?" Miz frowned. (Lee was rubbing his face, why was this conversation still going on? --Heck, even Sixer looked more disturbed than interested in the idea.)
"It depends on how you do it," Bill told her. "Change the definition of the thing, and no-one will notice or care, with 'free will' being impacted not at all!" Bill told her cheerfully. "But... change the outcome of the thought processes..." and Bill trailed off.
Miz thought about it, and then she turned to the twins. "Hypothetically, if I told you that you were supposed to be--"
"--No," Lee said, cutting her off immediately. "No changing stuff into fish. Nope. No. Not even a little, no."
Miz looked to Bill, who just shrugged at her.
...And then Bill turned his head and looked over at the twins, and grinned evilly.
"How do you KNOW that your 'carbon atoms' didn't USED TO BE fish, but that someone ALREADY CHANGED THEM OUT at some point, and you NEVER EVEN NOTICED?" the demon said to them almost sweetly.
"That's not--" Sixer began, frowning, as Lee felt his expression drop. "That's… not…"
"--Because wouldn't all those FISH go together SO MUCH BETTER with all that WATER in there?" Bill said next, and his grin got even wider.
...Yup. Lee was definitely gonna have nightmares over this one. Probably. (Especially with the way Miz liked to eat fish.)
Miz made it worse by teasing, "And how would you know that you haven't already BEEN changed so that you're the way you are now, when you were originally like… a girl or something?" She grinned even wider. "Or if maybe you two were originally conjoined twins? Or if you were originally a dog?" She'd read a fanfic about that once, where Stanley was a dog and Ford didn't even HAVE a twin! "Or maybe that you didn't even EXIST up until a few days ago~" she couldn't help but add!
"--I would be an awesome girl," was Lee's no-nonsense response to that. "I would kick butt in hot pants and at boxing." He'd seen enough of how things went with the two demons over the last couple of days with their old-man selves. Nope, no, and no. --He wasn't going down without a fight!
Lee sent a hard glance over to his twin, because this was supposed to be Sixer's kind of nerdy-talk wheelhouse -- Sixer had better deliver on his own nerdy thought-'punch' back!
"...I…" Sixer paused, readjusting his glasses and looking very unsure at the sudden and intense pressure he was receiving from his twin's gaze that he didn't really understand why he was on the receiving end of, just then.
"I might have been… a butterfly… dreaming of being a human being… instead of originally a dog?" Sixer tried slowly. "And then got my wish?"
Miz nodded emphatically. "And you would never even knoooooow~" she sang out at them, smiling a bit too widely for either of the twins' comfort as she said it.
"Yup," said Lee, clapping his hands together once, with finality. "That's right. We both coulda been conjoined butterflies with a dream, or somethin', and then got turned into humans. Over the bridge and under the rainbow. Poof! --Just like that. Yup. It was definitely that. --Good talk!"
Lee turned away to ignore the demons, but still found himself rolling his eyes at Miz's next mischievous comment of, "You were pretty hot as a girl, just putting that out there." --Because, "Well, yeah." Of course he would be hot as a girl! Why not? Wasn't 'being hot' all part of the 'being awesome' package? Hadn't the demon-dragon been listening? ...Or did she not think that being 'hot' was 'awesome' anymore?
...With the way her brother was ribbing her a little bit over her chest again after that 'hot' comment from her, and the blush she got at the ribbing, maybe it was that second one. Which was weird, and kinda dumb. Having a huge chest wasn't the be all and end all of a girl being hot. (...Was it? I mean, y'know, it shouldn't be. He hadn't been all head-over-heels for Carla just because of how she looked, y'know! ...I mean, sure, it had helped a lot, sure! Lee didn't want to date somebody who looked like they had resting dog-face. But Carla was a really smart gal too! And--)
Still, the demons quieted down a bit after awhile, as the homeroom announcements came on over the intercom speakers, and Lee found his thoughts trailing off to a different subject too, one that Sixer was nervous about as well:
--The plan today after school. There were so many ways it could go wrong. The older Stan had come up with a bunch of suggestions and stuff to help them out, first. And Bill had talked his sister through multiple layers of protections she had to put on, and a couple changes to the 'technical details' of stuff later, sure. And this had all been 'okay'ed by the older Stan first, and a grumbly Bill later…
...And ultimately they'd gone with something that was much safer for everybody involved that everybody had been sort-of okay with. (Except the old-Sixer, who wasn't even gonna be there, because he was just gonna get in the way and want to shoot things if he did. ...Because apparently Sixer would get all stuffy-responsible and super more-careful in his old age about stuff like this… which Lee was kinda actually looking forward to…)
And the old-man him was gonna be there, looking out for them, ready to jump in as kind of a 'safety net', too. If they really needed it… Well, Lee wanted to prove that they didn't need it. (Plus, if the old-man him jumped in, Bill might end up jumping in, too, and that would be…)
Miz was excited for it. (Sixer was just as eager, though he did notice Miz was still acting a little… less affectionately with him than she had before, apparently still somewhat upset at him for touching her inappropriately the previous afternoon. This had resulted in the girl sticking closer to Lee now, instead of him.)
...Sixer looked over at Miz and tried not to feel a little sad, irritated, jealous upset that Miz didn't even want to sit in a chair, or at a table, right next to him anymore. Not at the boat, not in the galley-kitchen, and not even here now at school. Sixer's hands twitched in his lap. He hadn't thought it would be this… uncomfortable, to have a girl who had once liked him then shun him; he was used to it from other girls, and this shouldn't have been any different from what he felt from anyone else, but...
They all (demons and twins) got through homeroom (again) without incident, and made their way through the hallways (also without incident) to their first class of the day, but then...
"OH. Oh, HELL NO!" Bill exclaimed, as they all walked into their Physics class and--
Lee's mouth dropped open in pure disbelief as he stared at the guy at the front of the classroom, leaning up against the chalkboard with his arms crossed in front of him. (No. way. --Was he supposed to be their teacher for the day?!?!)
"What are you doing here?" Miz asked, blinking, as the older Stanford Pines straightened up and away from the chalkboard (which had his name written on it in chalk), looking over at the group of them with not quite a glare.
Ford let out a huff of breath.
"You're blocking the classroom door," Ford told them, not too happy to be there himself. He'd been planning on largely watching them all from the adjoining rooftop that the day, not… this! But--
---
"Stanford!" the man called out from below him. "Stanford Pines!"
Ford winced slightly. He'd been lax; he'd gotten used to being able to sit out in the open on the rooftops here a few nights ago, due to Bill's precautions (damn him), and now he'd (rather embarrassingly) forgotten to take any of the proper precautions that morning, as a result.
(Though, quite frankly, it shouldn't have been an issue. He couldn't remember the last time that he or Stan had looked up at the sky during the daytime, once they'd entered high school, let alone started the twelfth grade.)
He ducked down a bit, and rolled back away from the roof's edge, in the vague (and quite probably futile and non-existent) hope that, maybe, perhaps…?
"Stanford Filbrick Pines," he heard called out below him -- closer than before -- and Ford winced. "I mean, really," he heard the man call out. "To think that one of my star pupils from another dimension wouldn't even give me the time of day--"
"That is not how it works, Mr. Har--" Ford began to complain before biting his lip, then smacking a hand over his face. --Good lord, why. Just, why. (No. He knew why.)
He closed his eyes and ran it down his face next, because he knew, just knew, that he was getting smiled at from down--
"Really, Mr. Pines," was what Ford heard next, in good-natured tones, from below. "Or should I say Dr. Pines, now? --I don't suppose you could come down here for a moment, so that we could continue this discussion of ours, face-to-face?"
Ford opened his eyes, stared up at the sky, and for one very long moment, he wanted to disappear forever into the roof of that building.
...He had no reason to be embarrassed about any of this, Ford told himself, as he got up and made his way back over to the edge of the roof. This was a natural reaction to any teacher at any age; he'd seen this happen in many other dimensions beyond this one. It wasn't his fault. (He swore that the schools of the multiverse taught that exact same tone of voice to teachers-in-training everywhere, as some sort of universal constant that rivaled the ubiquity of weirdness itself…)
He jumped off of the roof at the corner closest to the nearest alleyway to the teacher, and hopped, swung, and somersaulted himself down, kicking off of the nearby and opposite walls as he decelerated himself to almost a standstill, before dropping the rest of the way down -- his motion due to gravity being forestalled enough that he wasn't going to damage his knees in the final eight-feet's-worth of drop.
He still did a rolling tumble at the end of it, coming to his feet again as his own natural momentum lend him the necessary force to do so most easily.
The teacher was smiling at him.
"Well," said Mr. Harman (who was also a Dr., having his own doctorate). "That was a rather impressive display of the use of the laws of physics to your own advantage; I applaud you," the teacher grinned. "I expect that 'other me' must have done a very good job of teaching you the basics."
...Oh Axolotl, he'd been baited. Of course the man had understood the explanation he'd been given of alternate dimensions; he wasn't stupid. He'd said what he had deliberately in order to coax goad him into responding, and then...
...Ford blinked as he looked the (young) man (who was maybe half his age) over.
Because Mr. Harman looked… almost normal. And...
...This was not what he was used to seeing, as a result of Bill's direct interference with someone, after their 'enlightenment'. Had Stan really managed to…?
"Was there something you needed of me?" Ford asked his old teacher's dimensional duplicate -- then nearly cursed himself in the very next breath, because he wasn't entirely sure that--
"Hm. An interesting question," the teacher said to him. "Well, I might... But I do have a question for you first, if I may." Ford blinked at him.
"Of course," Ford said, despite himself. Despite the fact that this was highly nonstandard, and he wasn't entirely certain if his talking to him now might help or hurt more, and--
"What were you doing up on that rooftop just now?"
Ah. Ford tried not to wince. "Well, Mr. Hatmsn, you see…"
...and Ford contemplated trying to lie, right up until he got that very patiently waiting look from him, that Mr. Harman had generally used to reserve for his brother...
Ford clenched his jaw.
And after a moment, he replied, "...I was planning on surveilling the demons from the adjoining rooftops today."
"Hm. I see," said the teacher. "Why?"
...Ford would rather be having his teeth pulled out with the current state of technology in this dimension than having to continue to be standing here answering these questions, he swore.
"Because neither of those demons should be attending school today," Ford told him. 'Or ever.'
The teacher gave him a slight frown. "Then why didn't you keep them out of school today, at the boat where you're staying?" he was asked, frustratingly reasonably.
"...Because Stan wants them in school today," Ford said slowly.
"Mmhmm. I see." And, rather terribly, Ford had the sinking suspicion that Mr. Harman maybe did, in fact, see.
"So, if you'll excuse me--" Ford began, trying not to sound like he was in as much of a hurry as he truly was (no, he did not think or feel as though he could get detention for this, that was a silly thing to say!), as he turned away from the teacher...
"...Actually, one moment," Mr. Harman said, stopping Ford in place. (Ford tried not to wince, as he closed his eyes for a moment, then turned back to him.) "Might I ask another question of you?"
"...Yes," said Ford (as he started to wonder if this was some new torture of Bill's that he'd managed to concoct with the teacher yesterday, at school, at some point, behind every single one of their backs).
"Exactly how well can you see any of the students from up there, on that rooftop of yours, that you've selected, when they are all inside the school?" he was asked, and for some reason...
Ford blinked, as he looked at Mr. Harman, and realized that the teacher actually sounded concerned.
"Ah," said Ford, because actually... "Not very well, I'm afraid." He would be much better off surveillance-wise if he'd had even half of his usual dimension-travelling gear with him, "But I can make do." And he wasn't about to bring any of the specifics of that up in the moment, right now. That was the sort of conversation one saved for a much longer time, and the school day was about to start shortly--
"Oh, no," the teacher told him next. "That simply won't do." (Ford stared at him, because… what?) "Might I offer a suggestion?"
And it was at that point that Ford was officially lost in the conversation he was having here, with the man who'd been babbling almost incoherently after a mind-twisting from Bill only two days ago… who was now making him feel like the crazy one, here.
"I… what?" Ford said, having absolutely no idea where this was going.
And he wasn't any further enlightened when Mr. Harman simply smiled at him and said, "Follow me, please."
And turned away from him.
And started walking back towards the entrance of the school.
"Come along, Dr. Pines!" the man called back at him over his shoulder, in the same cadence he'd always used when he'd asked him to stay after class for a moment, and been about to show him--
Ford didn't realize his feet were moving and he was halfway across the school yard, until his feet were moving and he was halfway across the school yard.
And almost through the doors of the front entrance to the school, which Mr. Harman was holding open for him, still-smiling all the while.
...Though he did have a bit of an odd, excited gleam in his eye, which Ford noted as he passed him.
That was vaguely worrying, so perhaps he should continue following him, just to be certain that there wasn't going to be any trouble, and that the man was actually--
---
Ford had absolutely no idea what was going on.
"He has a doctorate in science? Really?" the main secretary at the front desk said, looking at him with some measure of… she actually seemed impressed. "How did you find him so quickly?"
"Oh, it just might be kismet, Doris," Mr. Harman seemed to… joke?... to the secretary, "You know how it is. Sometimes you just have to go looking in the oddest of places." (Ford felt himself color a bit at this.)
"Well, I do owe you one for last Thursday," the secretary (Doris??) sighed. "I'll handle the paperwork; are you sure about his credentials, though?"
"Absolutely," Mr. Harman said, slapping Ford on the back and startling him. Ford glanced over at him and frowned; he knew he was being set up for something, but what...
Ford glanced away, then back again, as the secretary rose from here desk and walked off into the back. ...Presumably for a few blank copies of the aforementioned paperwork?
"--You don't mind helping me out, do you?" Mr. Harman said almost conspiratorially. "This will allow you to keep a much closer eye on those 'demons' of yours during the school day today."
"Ah…" said Ford. He hadn't thought...
...Well, he supposed that coming up with some sort of excuse for him to ...be allowed to sit in on Mr. Harman's physics class, post-science fair?... would allow him to keep a closer eye on Bill… for just that one class, but--
"I… don't suppose…" Ford began, then startled again at another good-natured clap on the back and a "Good man! I knew I could count on you!" Ford blinked at him, and his confusion didn't lessen in any scope or respect, as Mr. Harman said next, in rather reverent tones, "Really, my wife is a genius. --If my son ends up with even half her brains… well. I will certainly be a happy man!"
"Alright, John," the secretary -- Doris -- said, as she returned with a thin folder with some papers in her hands. "I'll handle this. You go off now, and mum's the word. I didn't see you in here."
"Thanks, Doris," Mr. Harman grinned out at her, before telling Ford, "Now, just remember, page 372, and they aren't as scared of you as you are of--"
"Oh, you. Stop scaring him, or you'll scare him off. --Now go on, shoo!" Doris called out at the physics teacher, in something like a loud faux-whisper, who raised up both his hands in surrender and walked himself quickly backwards out of the door.
"Just listen to Doris; she knows everything!" was Mr. Harman's final, smiling, called-out remark to him.
...Ford was very, deeply confused.
He turned back to her, a question on his lips, and--
--had a folder of paperwork shoved at him, right into his chest.
"Here, here," he was told. "Open it up; yes," Ford placed it down on the counter in front of them, between them and did so, "And sign here," the pen thrust at him was used as such, "And here-- good," she said. "And that's that. I'll fill the rest of it out for you, there's a good dear."
"Ah," said Ford, before adding, almost tentatively, "...Do you even know who I--"
"--You're the other Stanford, yes? You came in on Monday with the other Stanley Pines," Doris said, head down in the paperwork she'd retrieved back from him, by the simple expedient way of pulling it back towards her and turning in around 180 degrees in place. "Sat down in the hallway and waited for him outside as he handled things for the children."
Ford stared at her.
"It isn't every day that you hear about twin relatives from out of town coming in and scooping up their other twin relatives like a couple of seagulls, just, right out of the blue!" she told him quite brightly as she continued her work, and he colored. "--Ah!" she said next, lifting her head up abruptly, as the morning announcements came on. "You'd better get to class; it's in room 337. You might not have homeroom today, but you do have first period, and then lunchroom duty during third block. It's the advanced class, so--
"--I'm sorry," Ford interrupted her. "I have what?" Lunchroom duty?
Doris sighed. "First period is from 9 to 11:30 in room 337 -- it's advanced physics -- and lunchroom duty runs from 12:20 until 12:55 -- you just need to glare at the students if they try to start a food fight again," she told him in a rapid, informative tone. "Now. Even though this is technically a half-day shift, you -- like him -- will have to spend the whole day at school. It's very nice that you're helping John out today to let him take that sick day off with his family, but--"
"No, I meant--" Ford was very lost. "What am I--" 'doing?' he was about to say, when the words 'sick day' caught up with him.
"...'Sick day'?" Ford repeated slowly.
"Yes," said Doris. "It's a bit last-minute, but he hasn't taken one in years; said something about a three-day weekend being almost as good as a week, the silly thing. I have to tell you, we were scrambling to find a good replacement for him on such short notice," she rambled on, as Ford stared down at her in something like shock. "But here you are, and-- Oh. That reminds me. I am technically supposed to ask you, silly me! -- You are qualified to teach advanced twelfth-grade physics, what with a doctorate in the subject and all, aren't you?" she asked him, peering up at him quizzically over her glasses, as she adjusted them on the end of her nose.
Ford stared down at her in something like a growing horror.
"I--" Ford began.
"Where did you get your relevant doctoral degree by the way?" the woman asked him next, already looking back down at her paperwork again. "Place, degree, and year?"
"Backupsmore University, Advanced Theoretical Physics," Ford found himself responding before he could help it. "In 19--" Ford stopped. He stared at her a moment, realizing he couldn't say-- because that was the future, here. "That is--" He managed to cut himself off before sounding too strangled (and suspicious, he supposed), shaking his head. "That's not-- I'm not--" (and now he'd most certainly ruined it, blast it!) He waved his hands at her, "You don't understand, I've never taught--" oh, he couldn't talk about that "--a class full of students before--"
He jumped in place as Doris slapped down the folder in front of him again, fixing him in place with a steely look that (in his experience, both in his home dimension and elsewhere) he did not want to cross (because he liked to think he knew better; really, it was more of an issue of survival--).
"Young man," (Ford felt his cheeks burn at this, because she was, in fact, older than he was), "Do you have an advanced degree in a relevant field of study from an accredited institution, or don't you?"
"Yes," said Ford.
"Are you stupid?" the rather suddenly-fearsome woman asked rather, demanded of him next.
Ford opened his mouth and almost answered, 'Actually, it depends on who you ask, because there's a demon attending this school right now who thinks--' but at the look he received from her for even thinking it (was she partially-telepathic?), he closed his mouth again, then opened it again and said, "...No."
"Do you remember what it was like to attend high school?"
Ford winced and resisted the immediate and overwhelming urge to hide his hands under his elbows. "...Yes."
"Did you ever have a substitute teacher for any of your classes?" he was asked next, and Ford colored -- not just at her tone, or at the raised eyebrow, but because several other ladies in the office had stopped their work and were looking over, staring at them now.
"...Yes." Most of them had really been quite awful, in fact, and he didn't quite manage to keep what he thought of that fact out of his tone.
"Good," said the woman who clearly held sway over her entire domain, in a way that he hadn't seen since the last dimension he'd been in with an active warlord in it. "Then you know we won't expect much of you." --And with that, she slapped a piece of paper into his chest. "Room 337. Follow the map. Class starts in seven-and-a-half minutes. Don't be late. You won't want to find out what happens if you are." She gave him a long (almost-threatening) look.
Ford stared at her in something a good bit less coherent than what he would call (if he was truly pressed to find a term for it) absolute shock.
"Go on now! Get to class!" she told him, making that abrupt shooing motion at him now, too. (Ford jerked back almost automatically at the motion, then thought it was probably best to continue on out of there, following said motion with haste.)
"Teacher's lounge is circled in green, lab coats are in the side closet, and the detention slips should be in the cookie tin at the back of the room. --Write your name on the board, and remember to have fun, dear!" was what followed him cheerily out of the office, and Ford kept right on marching, paper map clutched in one hand.
Axolotl preserve him, it was always the ones who were a head-and-a-half smaller than him. And why that particular hands-on-the-hips posture was always so effective in any species that he'd ever encountered, he feared that he would never know.
---
Upon entering the classroom, Ford looked around almost aimlessly, as he tried to decide what, exactly, to do about this turn of events -- should he leave? but that would leave Bill in a classroom today with no teacher, and oh, that would be a disaster -- and in his meanderings, he thought to check what the head secretary in the main office of the school had told him.
And Ford soon realized that everything was exactly where the secretary in the office had told him that it would be, and… it occurred to him to wonder if she knew these sorts of details about each and every classroom in the building.
...He mentally revised the woman's threat level from 'local minor warlord' up to 'regional, major power'.
Ford looked around the classroom, and down at his copy of the school map again. Which had his entire schedule written down the side of it, with short succinct explanations, times, and locations. Each room on his schedule was circled, and had a hallway-route helpfully drawn out as well between them.
It was all color-coded.
...He wasn't going to be leaving the building today, was he. She knew exactly where he was supposed to be at all times, and likely had a school full of informants. In the form of the other teachers. And janitors. And other school staff... And maybe even some of the students, because didn't they also have office helpers?
(Was… was this what high school was really like? For the adults?)
---
"NO. AND NO. AND NO. --ALSO, NO," Bill said angrily, fists clenched at his sides as Miz and the younger twins exchanged glances and moved off to their own seats, unblocking the doorway into the classroom.
"Sit. Down." Ford said testily, glaring Bill down.
...Except that Bill wasn't cooperating with that. Bill wasn't 'glaring down' (or sitting down); he was glaring up right back at that Stanford instead.
"DON'T ORDER ME AROUND!" Bill declared angrily. He was NOT at all pleased with this new development. Because Sixer couldn't--!! This was cheating!!! AND NOT THE GOOD KIND OF CHEATING, EITHER!!!
--And it shouldn't COUNT anyway! Sixer wasn't 'one of his teachers', he was his Zodiac, AND he was walking into things BIASED by things other people had told him, AND he couldn't GET AWAY WITH trying to 'dislike' or suspend or expel him anyway! --STANFORD PINES WAS NOT LOSING HIM HIS BET WITH STANLEY.
(Miz sat quietly at her desk. So… Ford was their teacher? How'd THIS get allowed by the school? Though, he DID look pretty cute in that labcoat~ She leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands and sighed dreamily as she looked him up and down. Damn squirmy feelings and all.)
"Bill--" Ford began, in a firm, no-nonsense, 'I am not taking any of your dimension-conquering demonic bullshit or your mental mindgames, not from you, not right now; not today' tone of voice.
--AND THAT IDIOT WAS NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH TRYING TO ORDER HIM AROUND WHILE HE WAS WORKING TO KEEP THE BET, EITHER!! --Bill was calling FOUL on this one, he wouldn't SIT for this! He WOULDN'T take this LYING DOWN, if that Stanford even so much as TRIED to-- to-- the @(&#(@)(#@(&*#@!! HOW D̸͙̪̮͓͉̦͙ͯ́͑̈͆̑͂͛͜ͅḀ̡̮̫̠̟̮̘̞̊̈́̎ͨR̴̷̠̯̦̼͕̖͙̥̄͂̏͒E͋̊͆̌̋̚͏̮̠̟̻ HE TRY TO GET AWAY WITH THIS!!! WITH H̴̟̖̽ͨ̒̽̓͒͞͠I̷̢͈͓̙̙̪̫͒ͬ͋Ṁ̈̋̓̂͛͏͔̹!!!
The rest of the class was glancing back and forth between Ford and Bill warily. Clearly, the new girl knew their substitute teacher. And wasn't happy at all to see him here.
One guy nudged Lee and asked, "What's up with them?" to which Lee just shrugged and said, "He's… uh… the brother of Bill's… guardian?" Sort of? Well, Lee didn't fully understand what the demon's relationship with the older thems was all about, but on paper in those forged documents that Stan had asked Miz to create, it did list him as all of their guardian.
Miz spoke up, "Uncle Ford and Bill have a very… contentious relationship. Complicated history. Some bad decisions on both ends… broke up their Deal a few weeks back," which had both the kids nearby and the twins staring at her. She could already feel the new rumors that were going to pop up at this.
...It was gonna be hilarious!
"They broke up?" One guy a few seats down muttered before shuddering. "But he's so old--" and that had Miz turning to address him. "Actually, brother is older than him."
"You have a brother, too?" another student asked her, "Where is he?" and Miz sighed.
But before Miz could open her mouth to explain, the bell rang, and--
Ford got an odd sort of smile, that grew as he stared down at Bill.
"Greetings, class!" Ford enthused out in ringing tones, turning towards the class somewhat, but not quite turning or looking away from Bill completely as he talked. "Your regular teacher is taking a sick day to be with his family today--" ("What???" went Bill. "That's not--!!") "--so I am acting as your substitute teacher for today." ("NO!!!") "You may call me Dr. Pines--" ("I'll CALL you--") "--and today, we'll be picking right up where we left off in your textbooks on page 372." (Slight groans from a few in the class, as Bill squeezed his hands into fists at his sides and fumed as he said: "Stanford.") "But you won't be needing your textbooks for today--" ("Stanford.") "--in fact, you should put them all away, right now--" ("STANFORD.") "--and since Bill here is already standing up and being so very eager to help out with things as of late--" ("Not with YOU.") "--he will be my assistant for today--" ("LIKE HELL!!") "--and for our first lesson--"
Ford turned towards Bill and pulled something ovular-shaped out from the back of his coat and held it up between two fingers.
And Bill moved his gaze between it, and him, and it, and him again, looking somewhat caught off-guard and startled, as Ford's smile turned into a grin, and he said, "--we'll be discussing the application of Newton's Three Laws today."
(The class was very confused at this point. Miz was simply curious as to what Ford was going to do. She took this chance to point at Bill and explain, "Bill is my brother. We decided that." The guy she was talking to looked even more confused as he said, "We didn't--")
("Not you," Miz scoffed, looking like she thought the idea of any of the kids here deciding anything for her was a ridiculous concept. "Bill and I decided that he's my brother. And that I am his sister," she said simply. "Being a brother or a sister is a state of being, it has nothing to do with sex or gender," she explained, picking up on the fact that people still didn't understand that Bill was a guy. It wasn't that difficult to understand, was it? From the looks on people's faces, it WAS. Miz was almost annoyed. "Bill is a guy. He decided he's a guy," she said simply. "And I'm currently a girl. But I can change my mind later," she said simply.)
(The guy stared at her and then his eyes drifted down to her chest. "So… you can be a guy?" He asked. Miz rolled her eyes. "It's not that difficult of a concept." She turned back towards the front of the class, where Bill was still looking completely flabbergasted at what Ford was doing.)
Bill was looking over the junky-looking piece of tech that Sixer was holding in his hand, scanning it with his suit and quickly trying to determine exactly what that Stanford thought that stupid thing was SUPPOSED to be able to do for him that would mean anything at all in this--
And then Bill got it.
The rest of the class saw the new girl go expressionless, and her eyes go quite wide.
"--YOU," Bill began, as Stanford Pines got a truly maniacal grin and with a lightning-fast motion, flicked what he was holding straight down onto the floor of the classroom--
--where it seemed to slap against the floor and stick there, as a ring of light around the edges of it flashed purple, twice, then shifted to a bright green color...
And literally everything (and everyone) in the classroom started slowly floating upwards.
(--Except Ford, who was holding onto the side of the ubiquitous sort of black-countered floor-mounted table -- with sink and gas line for chemical use as well -- that one always found in a properly stocked science teaching class at the front of the room, next to him.)
Miz rolled her eyes even as she floated upwards. "Right, just anti-gravity everything. And Lee gets mad at ME for blowing my cover?" then she got distracted by her hair waving around as she shook her head and sputtered, brushing it out of her face.
"Lesson one," Ford began, as he hung onto the side of the table, watching Bill with a (terrible) gleam in his eye. "For every action, there is an equal and…"
"--I'll 'opposite reaction' YOU!" Bill yelled out irately, making a gesture and bringing his suit into full-on display. And as every last seam of his suit lit up blue, and Bill stopped floating upwards (he seemed to be now controlling his motion in some way, floating in place and reorienting himself for a rush forwards at the man in front of him) and yelled out, "YOU OVERBLOWN--"
--the light on the device attached to the floor suddenly flickered purple again for a moment.
--And Bill suddenly slammed sideways into the front wall of the classroom, letting out an odd and completely-startled burring click-chirp-squeak.
"Now, no cheating, Bill!" Ford called out, his smile morphing into a grin for a moment. (He'd specially designed slight shifts in the gravity field to occur at random split-second moments, and with the sort of suit Bill was wearing and the way he probably had the whole thing tuned to work with and against the rest of the environment around him…)
"rrRRRAAAAAAHHHH!" Bill yelled out, as he careened off of the front blackboard, barely got himself oriented before he bounced off of it and up into the ceiling, and then started drifting slightly more slowly back down towards the floor again, after hitting and bouncing off of that.
"Newton's first law," Ford said quite properly next, "Every object in a state of uniform motion will remain in that state of motion--"
"--I'LL EXTERNAL FORCE Y̡͍͖̞̩̩ͥͫͨ̚O̷̷̮͈̠̼̱͖͔̲͒̀̾ͮ̎͊̏͠Ŭ̫̰͇̗̉͒ͫ̕͘͝!!!" Bill yelled out next, and he seemed to twist around, half-contorting himself in place--
--and a mass of black pointed-somethings seemed to shoot out from his back, out from under his shirt, into long joined-together half-tentacle half-spider-leg-like feelers, that slammed into the ceiling, the side wall, and the floor, anchoring him in place. All four of them.
"Ah, brother?" Miz called out, holding an arm around her chest, "Maybe you should calm down and…" She trailed off. "Well, class and stuff? I don't think getting mad at the substitute teacher is a good thing?" She looked around. This actually seemed like it might be pretty fun, if that Stanford wasn't being so smug about it.
Everyone was staring. "Dear god they really ARE aliens!" someone whispered while Lee was too busy trying to figure out how not to bounce himself off of any of the floating desk-chairs or any other the other people, to worry about his reputation or anything else. (All he could do was ask himself why, why was the older Stan the only sane one of them all?!) Sixer, meanwhile, was delightedly jotting down notes, uncaring as to whatever embarrassment this might possibly cause him in the future. And, after a moment of reflection, Sixer began eyeing the device that was stuck to the floor down in front of him with the utmost of interest...
"HE'S--" Bill snarled. Miz sighed. "He's our substitute teacher. It happens." She sent a small glare at Ford. "No one's going to get hurt when gravity comes back on, right?" she asked.
"Of course not," Ford began (still keeping an eye of Bill), "I--"
"HE IS NOT OUR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER, HE IS GOING DOWN!!!"
"Brother!" Miz said sternly. "Class has started!"
But it was too late. Bill had already launched himself head-first (and arms-first) forward towards Ford using his additional synthetic 'arms', and--
Ford shoved off of the table and kicked as he went, neatly dodging Bill--
---
"...I can't believe you picked a fight." Miz sighed.
"He is NOT our substitute teacher," Bill said tersely, arms-crossed. "Stanley AGREED."
Lee was walking along behind them with a dazed look. His mind was still caught in a recollection of what had happened during that period… they'd actually been floating... (If they could just set that same thing up someplace else, he bet people would pay to be able to play around in that for even a couple minutes or so. Like those bouncy houses! Or ball-pits! Except this thing could be for adults, and--)
---
The vice-principal was making his rounds through the hallway, and slowly coming around the corner towards the science classroom with that new substitute teacher who was filling in for John Harman's advanced class, that day. He should probably just quickly poke his head in...
He sped up a bit as he heard (muffled, but) loud and angry yelling echoing down the corridor.
He was almost to the classroom door (it had been coming from the science classroom he'd planned on visiting anyway), and he had just opened it when--
--he wasn't entirely certain what had happened next, but he thought something flew out over his head as he reflexively ducked, and he heard a horrendous slamming noise into the lockers behind him.
He heard a loud thud next, as he spun in place to stare down at…
He was greeted with the sight of an adult in a tan trench coat, wearing a white lab coat on top of it, sprawled out across the hallway floor over by the lockers, across the hall from him. He was looking slightly shaken, though he raised a hand to his head, then seemed to shake it all off quickly.
"HA!" the vice-principal heard come out of the classroom behind him, as he moved forward to check on the… substitute teacher? "YOU WANT SCIENCE!! --NEWTON WAS A HACK, AND IT WASN'T AN APPLE, IT WAS A KUMQUAT!! I--"
Then the voice cut off, and there was a cursing noise at the same time as the sound of something brittle-sounding breaking and--
"Are you all right?" the shaken vice-principal asked, as he helped the man stand up and--
"I'm fine, I--" The man looked startled, and just about leaped forward and away from him back towards the classroom door, wrenching it open almost immediately at the sound of a horrendous loud crash that came from the room.
A softer voice called out, "I doubt people cared enough to have that taught in schools." There was a pause and then, "Did I catch everyone? Are you all alright?"
---
Ford was greeted to the sight of Bill Cipher, lying sprawled along his side across the floor, sans all of the little small hovering robotic 'extensions' that he'd been using as anchor-points for himself earlier, and Miz, being held up by something like half of those extensions, in a swing-like… swing, that extended three lines down from the ceiling to support her.
Both of those things were rather expected by him. What was unexpected was that the other half of Bill's robots were shoved up against each and every one of the desk-chairs in the room, having shoved them all over and away from the center of the room, to be piled up head-high against the side and back edges of the classroom.
And the rest of the class of students being held in place in the air by a faint blue glow that was fading as they were all being gently lowered to the ground.
The 'anti'gravity-control device that he'd mounted to the classroom floor was dead, dead, and more-dead -- three times over. A spear of three of Bill's little robots were thrust through it from the top, and two shorter spears had pierced the sides of it to, having intersected it at two other odd angles entirely.
...And Sixer was sitting on the floor nearby it, with a screwdriver in his hand. "You didn't have to break it…" he whined out at Bill.
Ford didn't have time to react. Bill was on his feet -- and had dragged Sixer up off of his feet, within the space of half a second, and he looked ABSOLUTELY ENRAGED.
"THIS IS A CLASSROOM!" Bill Cipher yelled out at the teenager, straight into his face (as the rest of his robotic extensions dropped down and slid across the floor back to him in an almost-reflexive recall to his person). "YOU DO NOT MESS WITH ANYTHING THAT YOU DO NOT ALREADY UNDERSTAND WITHOUT SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING TELLING YOU THAT IT IS OKAY!!! YOU--"
Ford was not too happy himself with his alternate-self himself, having realized what had just happened (the younger Ford had just tried to open up an unknown piece of technology without-- he'd just-- was he insane?!). But he still strode forward and was about to intervene, when...
"--What is going on here?!" the vice-principal yelled out, as he finally entered the classroom himself.
Miz raised her hand, "Ford tried to mess with the device Dr. Pines brought in to show the class for our lesson."
The vice-principal looked around the room, at all the students standing, at the desk-chairs shoved up in a mess all around, at the teacher who'd been literally thrown out of the classroom, and at the two students in front, one of whom looked about fit and ready to strangle the other.
"Bill," Ford said lowly. "You need to put him down. Stanley--"
Ford flinched as Bill opened his fisted hands and literally let go of him, and Sixer fell straight down to the floor, feet then buttocks and elbows hitting in rapid succession as he fell backwards, unable to get his legs properly under himself in time.
The vice-principal watched this, and then cleared his throat.
"Dr. Pines," he said slowly. "In case you are unaware, the normal way to handle this sort of behavior is to hand out a detention slip--"
"--He can't do THAT!" Bill all but sneered out. "He's NOT a TEACHER!"
Miz sighed. "He's a sub. It happens," she repeated.
"He's NOT a teacher, SUBSTITUTE or OTHERWISE," Bill said again next, crossing his arms.
The vice-principal looked at Bill. He looked at Ford.
And then he said to Ford, with a slight frown, "...You're not a teacher?"
Ford tensed in place.
"Ah…" Ford began. "Well…?"
---
...Lee snapped back into the present when some kids yelped and slammed themselves up against the walls to get out of their way, as his group (with Bill and Miz in the lead) walked by them down the hallway. Frankly, he was just amazed that none of them were suspended, or in any trouble at all.
...It probably had something to do with the older-him showing up to school and doing, well, whatever that old guy did, that always seemed to fix things. Lee kinda wished he knew what had happened in that office...
---
"Are you kidding me," Stanley said blandly, as he looked down at both Bill and Ford, who were sitting in chairs in the main office, with two full empty chairs between them, looking about as petulant as he'd ever seen either one of them (not that either of them would admit that was what they were doing), and making a point to look away from each other at all times as they sat where they sat.
Miz (who was standing by both Lee and Sixer) raised a hand. "I told brother to stop."
"Uh huh." Stan nodded at her and turned to her to give her a pat on the head. "Thanks for trying." He glanced over at the vice-principal and then said, "You go off with the twins here to lunch, now. I'll talk to these--"
"--NO. 'Ford needs a penalty RIGHT NOW," Bill said. "He was STUPID and RECKLESS and he--"
"I will talk with him about what he did wrong later, after school," Stan cut him off, and Bill quieted. (For the moment.) "You three; out."
Once they were gone, he turned towards Ford. "Ford, what in the hell--"
"--I was drafted," Ford told him, sounding annoyed. "I didn't even say yes to--"
"Yes, you did," was the two cents from the head secretary in the office, "And I have the paperwork and witnesses to prove it!" she added brightly.
Stan (and the vice-principal both) turned around to look at her for a moment. The vice-principal and Stan exchanged a look, and then the vice-principal sighed, turned, and headed back for his office after that. (Yeah. It was times like this that Stan was glad that he looked a good ten years older than his brother.)
Stan turned back to Ford and raised his eyebrows at him.
Ford hunched his shoulders at him (like some kind of teenager expecting to get told off by… who knew who, geez) and then muttered something under his breath that Stan's hearing-aid didn't quite catch.
"Right," Stan said. Wasn't gonna touch that one. Nope, Nosirree. He turned to the kid instead, and attacked the first problem head-on: "Kid, Ford's not your teacher; he's just a teacher here. He don't count."
"Fine!" the demon-kid snapped out, though he still didn't look all that happy with him. Or anything. "Good! --Because he ISN'T!!"
Stan waited a beat, until the kid had settled down a little bit again. "You wanna tell me what went wrong?" Stan asked the kid next, once he had. And to that, Stan got back a...
"What, besides that 'Ford being a completely arrogant fool?" the kid sneered out. (Stan gritted his teeth, but managed to hold it in...) "--Sixer didn't put enough safety protocols in his equipment, AS USUAL," the kid said, rolling his eyes at him.
"I took precautions!" Ford protested. "There were safety protocols in place, to--!"
"--Not anything that was good enough to fail PROPERLY when you had a stupid HIGH-SCHOOL STUDENT going at it every worst-wrong-way with a screwdriver," Bill informed Stanley. "I broke it PROPERLY before that 'Ford managed to turn himself and the whole classroom around him into PASTE along WITH him. --YOU'RE WELCOME."
"It wouldn't have been a problem if I'd still been in the classroom and able to watch over things properly, Bill," Ford said testily, in pointed tones.
"SEE!" the kid said, gesturing at Ford with both hands. "He ADMITS it!!!"
Ford clenched his jaw, and gave the kid a look like he wanted to drop-kick him across the room.
Stanley decided to side-step the next problem by simply saying, "Ford, what-all do you have left to do for today, filling in for Mr. Harman?"
"I have a free period, then third-block lunch, then nothing… except I am apparently not supposed to leave the premises until after the final bell rings, at the end of the school day," Ford added slowly, and for some reason he was looking over at the head secretary when he said it.
Well, at least his brother didn't have any more classes to 'teach' today. Stan sighed.
"Okay," said Stan. "Here's what we're gonna do. --Kid, you do your thing. Ford, you--"
"Someone needs to watch Bill today, Stanley," his brother told him and Stan stared down at him.
Then Stan rubbed a hand across his face.
"...Thought you were just talkin' about after-school Ford," Stan told him, dropping the hand and already feeling tired of all this. "Not watching the kid all damn day."
But at the adamant look his brother was giving him...
"Fine," said Stan. "Ford, third-block lunch is what the kid's got, so you're just gonna follow him around all damn day, for the rest of the day. Got it? --And I mean follow him," Stan warned. "No getting up in his business during class or anything else. The real teachers can handle it. --You sit in the back of the classroom, and you stay quiet. Understand? It'll be like parent-teacher day, or something."
Ford looked incredibly disgruntled at this. "I don't--"
"You want to watch him today? You get to watch him today. Period." Stan glared down at him.
"I've been following the bet," Bill muttered.
"I know ya have, kid," Stan told him. "I don't think he was tryin' to mess that up for ya' though. Don't even think it occurred to him," he said, as Ford looked up at him all confused. Stan turned towards the kid. "He does anything other than just sit in the back of the class? You tell me; I'll take it into account, all right? We all know he shouldn't be here," Stan noted, more for Ford's benefit than the kid's, "So if he goes doin' something that would be losing you the bet you've got with me, then that ain't on you; that's on him. You'll win by default," he told the kid, "Unless you're the one goading him into doing whatever screws things up for you, instead. Science class today is a wash. Understand?"
He got a terse and touchy-looking nod from the kid.
...And he also got a frowning glance between them by Ford as he talked, and then a flash of both understanding and horror from his brother, before Ford managed to get his poker face back on again. (…Yeah, Ford. You thought the kid went freaking ballistic on your ass there for no damn reason? Think again.) Good thing the kid had been looking the opposite direction away from him when Ford had had his little 'revelation' there.
"Alright you two. Get," Stan said, tossing a thumb at the doorway.
The kid got up immediately and strode out. Ford, on the other hand, lagged behind.
"Stan…" Ford said slowly.
"I'll have a talk with the vice-principal," Stan told him, "Just in case, to wrap stuff up. You, don't do anything stupid with the kid," he told his brother. "I mean it. Stay outta trouble."
Ford looked down for a moment, then over at the vice-principal's office.
"I really was only trying to make the lesson interesting, for once," Ford said to him, looking away.
And at that, Stan couldn't help but clap his brother on the shoulder, smile a little, and say, "Yeah, Ford. I know. Kids probably appreciated it, too. Including the kid."
He didn't miss the startled look his brother gave him as he turned and walked away from him.
(He did miss the slight, confused but pleased smile that Ford got a few moments later, looking after his brother. But the ladies in the office sure didn't.)
---
"...I'm almost glad they're leaving next week…" Lee groaned, glancing back behind him at the older Stanford who was still following them, a few paces behind them and away.
When they (finally!!) got to gym class (the last class of the day), Lee trudged into the changing room (ignoring the commotion from the older Stanford not being allowed to follow Bill into the girl's changing room -- not from him actually trying to go in, but from him arguing with Bill that he shouldn't) and wished he had one of those 'blessed' violins that kept people away from him like Ben did, when the guys in the changing room wanted to ask him about Miz.
"Fess up dude, are you banging her?"
Lee groaned. "No. Her overprotective sibling would probably rip someone's dick off if they tried." That finally got the guys to back off, wincing at the thought. Lee wasn't looking forward to gym. Bill was going to give him a threat-filled workout again, he just knew it.
Lee could hear the horrified groans of everyone in class when their teacher announced that they were going to play Tag today. Lee glanced over at where Miz was explaining how Tag worked. Bill rolled his eyes and huffed out, "I know how this game works!" It was like when he had chased the kids through his Fearamid -- only then he had been 'catching', instead of just 'tagging'.
Miz shrugged. She didn't really like Tag but it was an okay game. She simply had to stay away from people… and make sure her protective enchantments would keep her safe without hurting the people around her. Easy.
The PE teacher looked around. "Who wants to be It?" she asked.
Bill had the widest smile on his face as he exclaimed loudly, "I DO!" which caused everyone in class to flinch in unison and then stare at Bill in horror.
Time seemed to slow for the rest of the students as the teacher nodded and brought her whistle up to her lips to blow and signal the start of the Game, as well as the end of their lives.
As a collective unit, all the students in class had a singular thought in mind, 'HIDE BEHIND MIZ!', since they thought (assumed) that perhaps they would be safe there.
They were wrong.
--Not just about using Miz as a shield, but because none of them were able to get to her before Bill had already tagged his first victim -- that being Ben, who saw Bill racing straight towards him with a manic grin on his face, and ducked behind his violin like it was his lifeline.
Ben shuddered as Bill went straight past the barrier his violin created to protect him from everyone else, and he squinted his eyes shut, sure that he would be dead now that his one hope of survival had proven that it was no safe harbor against BILL...
"TAG! YOU'RE IT!" Bill poked the tip of Ben's nose lightly and then ran off, laughing maniacally as he went all the way. Ben blinked his eyes open and reached a hand up to pat the spot.
He… he wasn't dead?!
Ben's knees buckled and he would have collapsed then and there if Miz hadn't called out, "Ben~! You're supposed to tag someone now." And he looked up to see Bill grinning as he ran and ducked and swerved around all the other kids, while Miz bounced lightly on her feet (and other places) as she verbally continued to encourage him to start playing.
Ben slowly straightened up and heaved a sigh of relief, before turning to try and chase down the nearest kid. Everyone else relaxed, very much glad that Bill wasn't It anymore.
It was a pretty quiet gym class after that. Everyone made sure to not tag Bill or his sister, just so there would be no danger. Still, Bill ran around between the kids, grinning like a lunatic and keeping them all on their toes (they remembered the last few gym classes, they were more than a little afraid of him), so no one got to relax for even a moment. Also, many boys (and even a few girls) tripped while running as they got distracted by Miz jogging along in front of them.
Lee was panting as they left the gymnasium to go get showered and changed. He wasn't as bad off as he'd been during the dodgeball practice, but he sniffed at his arm and then coughed. --Man, he stunk.
Sixer hadn't run so much as walked briskly around the gym, and therefore wasn't as bad off as his brother. Sixer changed quickly, wiping himself down with some wet paper towels just to clean himself off, without having to strip down fully and enter the showers. He didn't like showering with the other boys if he could avoid it.
Sixer watched as Lee stripped his shirt off and trudge off to the showers himself, though. And as he did so, the six-fingered teenager couldn't help but compare their physiques. They were twins, but Lee was bulkier, more muscular. Not a scrawny little twig like he was...
Sixer shook his head. It meant nothing; he was the smart one and all Lee had was his fists. That… that's just how it was. It was fine... Though, Sixer had seen what the older him had done to those cops… He looked down at his scrawny arms. So… he was (eventually) going to grow up to be a badass. Right? (Maybe he should ask Miz about it…)
He quickly finished up in the changing room, not wanting to stay there any longer than necessary, since more often than not after a certain point, the other boys started playing around like children, slapping each other with towels and other such nonsense. Rowdy, uncouth… Sixer didn't like them. To be honest, he didn't like most of the other kids at school. --He couldn't hold a decent conversation with any of them! Not really.
Sixer spotted Miz, Bill, and the older Stanford already waiting for him outside of the locker rooms, out in the hallway, and he felt himself smile. The kids at school were beneath him not worth his time, but the demons made everything better. They were interesting in a way that no-one else here was. And the things that they knew--!
Miz spotted him and waved. Sixer smiled. Also, it was… really nice to be around people who had no problem with his genetic abnormality his hands. (Said hands twitched.) Also, Miz's hands were really soft and warm. He liked holding hands -- well, when Miz held his hands at least. Sixer had never initiated a handhold… He glanced over at Miz's hands, which were down at her sides as she chatted with some girls. He shuffled a little closer to her, trying not to look like he was looking at her hands.
They were small, with dainty, slender fingers and pointed nails. Almost like claws. Sixer had noticed them before but despite how sharp they seemed, Miz had never hurt him with them. He wondered if they were really claws, showing through from her non-human side. Miz wasn't paying attention to him, chatting with a group of girls, whose names Sixer had never really bothered to learn. "-ell they're real, but not in the sense that they grew naturally from a progression of age and genetics, except they kinda did? It's more like I asked brother to rewrite my genetic code in order to create the desired appearance…"
Sixer's hand inched towards hers, they were right next to each other...
"HEY!!" Bill's voice made Sixer jump. The teenager quickly looked up at the older demon. Bill was stomping over, narrowing his eyes at him. (Bill had caught on to his body language; 'Ford was doing something he thought that he shouldn't do. SUSPICIOUS. And after the LAST two times now--)
Miz glanced over, blinked and tilted her head. She seemed to be in thought before she sighed and slumped a little in place. "It's fine. I'm not mad anymore. A little annoyed, but--" She reached out and took Sixer's hand casually. "--not mad. It's alright."
Bill glared at 'Ford for a few more seconds, then slowly relaxed somewhat. He didn't move any further away from them, though; he just turned and leaned up against the nearest wall, watching everything and everyone around him somewhat disinterestedly. (Ford eyed Bill, but said nothing at all about this.)
Sixer flushed as he looked down at their hands. She really didn't mind holding his hand… well, actually, why would she have an issue? She wasn't even human, she was a dragon, a triangle demon. Who was also an alien? --Well, either way, it made sense that Miz didn't care, or find his extra fingers gross… and… and… hadn't Miz said that people she met thought her triangle form was gross? Well, it hadn't seemed gross to him… Ah. (Sixer gently squeezed her hand. He could understand a bit.)
The girls blinked at them. "So… are you two a couple?" one asked. Miz shrugged. "Just friends, I don't know him well enough for anything more; also, he's too young," she said simply. Sixer colored a bit and looked down at his feet, a little embarrassed now that he was being watched and judged and labeled. But Miz didn't let go, and neither did he.
That was about when Lee came out from the changing room, dripping wet. Miz glanced over and raised her free hand to poke his nose again. "Boop, dry," she chirped. Lee shivered. "Do you have to use magic on me all the time?" he mumbled. Miz raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure you wouldn't enjoy dripping water for the next hour?"
Lee grumbled but couldn't really refute that. ...But Ford could. He spoke up and said, in descending tones, "Don't cast magic on other people without their permission."
Miz blinked. "Ah… I can see how that would be wrong. So I'll ask Lee next time. But what if I need to magic someone to save their life and I don't have time to get permission?"
Ford glowered at her. "I'm here, and I'm perfectly capable of saving other people without it. Don't cast magic on other people without their permission," he repeated.
"And what if I ask for permission to save their life with magic, and they say 'no'?"
"--Sis," Bill cut in. "I'm here, that Stanford is here. Stanley doesn't want me casting in school. We both have science to lean on. No-one should be dying here. This is not the time for this question! Wait for Stanley to be here with us," he told her.
Miz frowned. "I'm just asking because I've had to do that in the past, and I'm wondering if it was right or wrong to do so. And in the future, if I'm not with you two and this situation pops up, what should I do?"
Ford looked about ready to pitch a fit at what he thought was her crude attempt to weasel her way out of not doing whatever she wanted to people, whenever she wanted it.
Bill, on the other hand, simply said. "This is a question for Stanley later. The school teachers here don't teach this. This isn't their specialty!"
Miz nodded. "Okay. And I should just avoid magic on people until then, unless I have permission." The other kids milling around looked very lost at this conversation.
"Yes," Bill said, before Ford could say anything. "Stanley told you this on the boat. And told me after their fight and the snow-ing! Yes?"
"Yes." Miz nodded. She looked a little upset at herself. "I just forget, I'm too used to doing what I want."
"Then when you forget I will remind you, before Stanley has to," Bill told her.
Ford stared at Bill at all this. But Bill didn't even look at him, as they all started walking away.
Miz waved goodbye to the girls she'd been talking to and grabbed Lee's hand in her free hand to begin dragging the boys away, down the hallway. Lee rolled his eyes. "Why'd you always gotta hold our hands?" he complained.
Miz grinned, "It's much easier to drag you around this way~"
"Well, school's out so you don't need to drag me to class…" Lee mumbled. "And aren't you supposed to be terrorizing the beach right now?" He pointed out. Miz laughed. "Who says I'm not?"
Lee and Sixer stared at her in confusion. Miz giggled while Bill let out a "HA!" of laughter.
"I'm good at multitasking." Miz said cheerfully.
"She is here, and she isn't," Bill said. "But she is here, and the 'her' that isn't-here is most definitely an 'isn't'!" Bill enthused out, confusing the twins quite a bit, even though they themselves knew the plan.
--It had been Stan's idea. Since it would be suspicious if a 'monster' showed up and one of the new kids just so happened to not be anywhere during the whole incident. Bill had agreed, and asked (read: demanded) that Miz use a solid light projection that she was only indirectly controlling, instead of a second vessel she'd have to split herself to be inside, or anything else. Miz had agreed and created a projection that would have pre-programed actions and behavior (while still allowing Miz to remotely control it if she wanted to). The various types of touch (including pain) were not passed along to Miz herself, if somehow 'felt' by the projection. It would also 'turn into mist' when certain pre-conditions in the environment were satisfied. This was the safest bet, since Miz wouldn't actually get touched, grabbed, or otherwise (truly) captured during this whole scam, and the projection would vanish and be unable to harm anyone or be harmed itself, if anything went wrong at all.
Lee sighed. Well, everything should be in place for their plan. Frankly, he was a little nervous. The older version of him had called it a scam, and yeah, it kind of was, but... It made him wonder about what exactly his older self's job was...
Hand in hand with Miz, they all set off to the beach.
---