"I…" Mabel didn't want to talk about any of this anymore (she knew that she was probably already going to have nightmares about all of this stuff as it was) but she had to ask, to say something, the next thing. She still felt nervous for almost a moment, though, before she asked Miz (a lot more firmly than she felt): "Have you told Bill about any of this? Or Grunkle Stan?" She was a little afraid Miz would talk more about the details now; she really didn't want to know. But the whole thing was horrifying. Getting hit was bad enough -- just, terrible and nightmare-inducing, just thinking that somebody could love you and want to do that to 'discipline' you, thinking it was right. But what was even worse was… Look, she wasn't a mom like Miz was(?), but the idea of somebody accidentally hurting their own kid was… it was...
(...also super nightmare-inducing. She was definitely going to have nightmares about this tonight, unless they really managed to stay up all night until the morning, she knew it. Worst sleepover ever.)
"Yeah… I've told brother…" Miz winced. "He knows. And… he was just as upset. And doesn't know how to fix it either." Miz seemed to wilt in place. "So… please don't use a binding circle on me. That's… what made me lose control that time."
"What?" Pacifica side-glanced at Mabel as the other girl had a look of horrified realization. "You--" Mabel stopped herself, almost slamming her mouth shut, then nodded. "Don't worry. We won't do that. We don't even know how to do that! And… uh, the other stuff was startling or scaring you really bad? Or grabbing your wrists and… there's the thing about riding in cars, too, right?" Mabel's voice didn't quite sound nervous, as they all started to release Miz from her 'emergency hug', but Pacifica could pick up on it. Her friend was doing a serious rethink about something.
"Those are mostly just precautions, I really, really don't want to lose control and hurt any of you. When I get scared, I can't think clearly and bad things happen." Miz told them. "It's actually easier to keep my control here than at home. This dimension's so… oppressive? It needs more energy to make stuff happen, there's more Rules in place… though I generate enough power that keeping a lid on them is still a thing I have to do." Miz thought about how to explain it. "Back in my home dimension, if I just… think about something happening, even if I'm just day dreaming and my thoughts wander, if I'm not holding down my powers, they'll start to take effect and… change things around me."
Well, that sounded pretty terrifying. Pacifica didn't want to think what things in Miz's dimension might be like. (That sounded like it would be even worse than Weirdmageddon had been with Bill Cipher here...)
"-and sometimes even when I'm not thinking about anything in particular, if I lose my grip on my powers, they just leak out and start doing stuff anyway." Miz frowned. "I still need to talk to my brother about that, my lack of control and stuff."
"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUT I FEEL YA." Grenda spoke up suddenly. When Miz blinked at her in surprise, the large girl nodded solemnly. "I HAD TROUBLE CONTROLING MY STRENGTH WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. I USED TO BREAK THINGS ALL THE TIME!" she admitted. "I FELT PRETTY BAD ABOUT IT. BUT I PRACTICED REALLY HARD AND I'M MORE CAREFUL NOW. AND I DON'T BREAK THINGS ANYMORE UNLESS I WANT TO. LIKE OTHER PEOPLE'S FACES WHEN THEY'RE MEAN. SO I'M SURE YOU CAN DO IT TOO!"
Miz looked surprised before she smiled. "Yeah, that's…" she wiggled. "You're right. Thank you." Grenda's vote of confidence seemed to really lift her spirits. Grenda grinned and gave Miz a comforting pat on the back, nearly knocking the much smaller girl over in the process, but Miz just let out a laugh at that, relaxing fully in a way Pacifica couldn't help but take note of.
Pacifica had learned a lot about the demon now, just from this conversation alone. And none of it felt like Miz was lying... unless she was just that good at it. And Miz actually… well, Pacifica wasn't sure how to feel about it. Not without knowing whether it was real or a lie or not. She was suspicious and wary as heck about the demon girl; Miz had outright just admitted how dangerous she was. But… it hadn't been a taunt or a boast or a threat, it had come across as a true warning, one that Miz seemed to be sharing because Miz was worried about hurting them and apparently wanted to avoid such a thing happening
Dr. Pines had said that demons didn't feel things. Yet, Miz had claimed that she didn't want to do things that made her feel guilty. So if she was lying, she'd have to be lying and faking all these emotions convincingly enough to...
Pacifica sighed. She was tired. This wasn't the best time to be looking for inconsistencies in Miz's professed thoughts, actions, and stories, let alone any of her true motivations for anything that she did. For now, the best, smartest thing to do would be to go along with what she could see. Miz was expressing regret and guilt -- which, yes, could have been fabricated for sympathy, but why would she go through the effort to do so when it would have been easier to simply tell them only good things, if she was going to go to the trouble of lying about things to them? Especially at a sleepover where she was supposedly trying to make a good impression, one that was supposed to be fun. This was…
...not what she should be focusing on right now. Fun sleepover. Right.
Pacifica glanced over at Miz, who was now carefully applying foundation to Grenda (who'd asked for them to go back to sleepover activities), face scrunched up in concentration. Candy was giving her pointers and shuffling through the different eyeshadows to find a good color. As they settled down to continuing the sleepover activities, Pacifica couldn't help but ask Miz, "Why did you tell any of us about all this?"
"I figured you were worried about your parents, since I am who and what I am, and my brother has done the things he's done. So I thought I would reassure you that I would leave them alone." Miz, still a little subdued, shrugged before picking out some lipstick for Grenda. (...What? Knowing that the demon had been physically abused in the past was supposed to be reassuring?!) "I don't like them. But I won't mess with them either, not unless they try messing with me first. Or if they hurt you. I love mine, and you love yours." Then, as Miz was lightly brushing on some blush, she added, "I mean, I'm also not gonna hold it against them for stuff you're doing. Just like I'm not holding it against anyone else. Well, I'm holding it against that Stanford a little bit, just 'cause I don't like him, but I'm trying harder to leave him alone since it upsets Stan. And like I said, I kinda like you, which already makes you better off than that Stanford."
...Hold against her parents the stuff she was doing? Pacifica managed to keep her poker face on, the one her father had grilled her on all through her younger years, and nothing of the fear going through her appeared as she asked the demon, "What do you mean?"
"Well, it's not going to work anyway. That thing you and the others are planning." Miz continued, partially ignoring Pacifica's question. "Brother says he won't… well... And, I don't know all the ways we're similar or different from each other, but I know that I can't... I've tried.' (Pacifica frowned at this. She'd tried what?) "So if he's anything like me, whatever you're planning won't work anyway." Miz smiled softly. "So I won't hold it against you for trying." At least she'd try not to. Part of her still felt a little protective. (Pacifica felt her own eyes widen a bit.) "You're just scared and lashing out in your own way. I can understand that. I won't begrudge you for being scared. I'm scared all the time."
Pacifica didn't want to ask Miz to clarify what she meant. More than that, she didn't think she needed to. She'd heard enough threats in her life to hear that one loud and clear. So she responded as simply as she could: by not saying anything (potentially further incriminating) at all.
"YOU'RE PLANNING SOMETHING?" Grenda asked, her eyes still closed as Miz finished up with her blush.
Out of the corner of her eye, Pacifica saw Mabel send a glance her way. Pacifica herself was careful not to look at Mabel as Miz talked; just and only Miz.
"....And?" Pacifica prompted Miz, because it was clear that that was not all that the demon wanted to say on the matter.
Miz shrugged. "You guys should stop trying though, brother's protecting your world from other Demons right now. If you do succeed..." Miz frowned. "It'd probably be a free for all. I'm not quite sure how things work in this dimension yet, but the ownership thing seems pretty important here." Miz tilted her head. "So it would probably work out better if you all left Bill alone. He's pretty invested in keeping you all safe, because that's what keeps Stan happy, at least that's what I'm picking up from them." Miz finished putting the finishing touches on Grenda and smiled. "How's this look?" Miz pulled up the mirror so Grenda could see herself. The larger girl blinked and thundered. "I LOOK GORGEOUS!"
"You're already gorgeous." Miz giggled.
Now Pacifica glanced over at Mabel, who was biting her lip. (Candy was looking down at the various containers of makeup, listening, but not saying anything at the moment. The Korean girl wasn't stupid, and neither was Grenda; they could tell something was up with this 'plan', but they would keep quiet for now, until Mabel could explain what they were going to be helping her and Pacifica with later. It didn't sound like it was gonna be another last-minute sock opera play, though.)
The worst part here was that Miz wasn't even openly threatening them. Not with her own brand of violence, anyway, whatever that may be. No, she was simply telling them quite gently, as if they were a couple of idiots, that having Bill alive was better than taking him down and having to deal with all the other demons who weren't him. And oh, Pacifica had heard that one before. 'Better the devil you know…' and all that. ...Hell, her parents lived that one, on the daily.
And that was how Pacifica knew it was a lie. That was mobspeak for, you won't like the power vacuum this creates, you'd be better off sticking with me, kid, and falling in line.
Northwests didn't just 'fall in line', though. They survived, they then thrived, and they always came ahead of the game and out on top. And Pacifica wasn't about to break that particular trend of her family's tradition, at least.
It meant that she was setting herself up directly against this demon, and they both knew it. And this demon didn't even consider her a threat, herself. That didn't bode well, for her or any of them.
So Pacifica was still understandably tense as she watched Miz wince and then say next, "Sorry, didn't mean to bring down the mood. I just thought I might as well be honest about how I feel about the situation. Though I might be misunderstanding something, I tend to do that a lot. I thought that Stanford would appreciate if I was honest, but I think he hates me more when I'm being so." Miz sighed. "I still don't wanna go around lying outright though. It's more work to keep up and I don't want to bother. Besides, it seemed to annoy Stan when I tried lying." Miz groaned. ('Note to self, talk to Stan Pines and see if he can help differentiate between this demon's lies and her truths,' Pacifica thought to herself.) "But seriously, I'm not gonna harm you, your parents or anyone in this dimension unless they attack me first, or something like that." ('Or something like that'... right. Pacifica swallowed and tried not to react to that, even as her hands loosely clenched into fists in her lap.) "And I'm gonna try harder to keep my temper. I… I just want to do better." Miz rolled her eyes. "Though I think brother would call it being 'worse' depending on how I do so. He's got a pretty skewed definition for it, from what I've seen. Definitions seem to work differently here, dunno if it might have to do with the Rules the AXOLOTL here set up being very different from home. I kinda want to examine that more, but brother says that's too dangerous..."
Pacifica could see Miz drifting off into her own head as she rambled. Pacifica took this time to send off some more texts to Dipper and frown internally to herself. So Miz knew that they were all trying to come up with a way to kill or otherwise contain Bill Cipher. And… what now? The demon claimed she wasn't going to do anything to them -- not to stop them, or harm them -- unless they tried to harm her directly, but not if they tried doing anything to 'her brother'. Operative word there likely being 'try'. (Which meant that if they did manage to pull something off anytime soon, they could expect to have to handle an attack from Miz shortly thereafter, if they hadn't got done dealing with her, first.)
But why did Miz believe that they couldn't do anything to that insane demon, anyway? Because she had tried... to kill him too and… failed herself? And determined that if he couldn't die when she'd tried to kill him, that none of the rest of them could manage it? (How had she managed to survive the aftermath of that with him? Had he… given her permission to try, or something? Dr. Pines had said that they all treated death like a game, and their own lives like nothing, so...) Or was her ambivalence on the subject just due to the fact that he might not stay dead, like Dr. Pines had said was a thing for most demons, which would explain why she knew about the problem and yet felt so carefree about it.
Pacifica was starting to see what Dr. Pines might mean about demons not having human emotions. Miz really didn't care about the idea of Bill Cipher dying, killing him herself or otherwise. This demon would likely only get angry after they'd pulled it off, if that was the order they went at them in -- because they'd pulled off the impossible and shown themselves to be a threat to her, having done what she couldn't, not because she was 'worried about Bill dying'. That was the conclusion Pacifica came to from all of this.
...Dear lord, Dr. Pines had been right about that. She'd thought he'd been halfway to insane, the way that he'd ranted over that particular point. But instead, he'd just proven himself right on that point -- on allelse the older scientist might have been more 'factually correct' on than she'd realized, at the time…
"...though I think I'm still gonna have to take down anyone who tries to harm my friends and children, they're not immortal like I am so they could get hurt. I can't allow that. That's not wrong, right? It can't be wrong to want to keep those I love safe. Brother said he can take care of himself, but my friends aren't demons, they wouldn't be able to..." Miz was still rambling. "I mean, I guess I go overboard most of the time, but if I let those guys go, they're gonna keep coming after my family, I can't just let that happen, right?" (Going overboard. Not knowing there was a limit. This demon was scary-dangerous, and Pacifica was starting to hate this all, a lot.) "Urgh… Tina told me that it was wrong, but I still can't just let someone who wants to harm her get away, they're going harm someone else, I've Seen them do so, and shouldn't I be trying to prevent that sort of thing? And I only really get rid of the ones that I can't get arrested and therefore neutralized as a threat for whatever reasons anyway…" (Neutralized as a threat... Pacifica clenched her jaw as she stared at Miz.)
"Stop," Mabel said simply. Miz blinked and covered her mouth. After a second, she lowered her hand. "Sorry. What did I do wrong this time?"
"A few things, we can talk about them later, but... just… can we get back to the sleepover right now? And maybe talking about fun stuff instead? ...I can do your make up this time?" Mabel offered. Miz nodded. "Okay," she said before settling down more comfortably and closing her eyes.
Mabel waited until Miz's eyes were closed, but once she had, Mabel looked over at Pacifica and give her a look. Pacifica blinked at her, until Mabel mouthed out, 'Are you okay?' and it was only then that Pacifica realized that her hands in her lap were shaking around the phone that she was holding. Pacifica pulled in a deep breath and stilled them, then raised her chin and nodded to Mabel. She was okay. She could handle this.
She looked down at her phone again, and shot off a few more texts to Dipper. He was responding with worry over having left his sister alone with the demon. ...Apparently, he trusted Miz even less than Bill, and that… wasn't actually all that surprising anymore, with all the talk of lack of control and the fact that Dr. Pines had told her, of how Miz wasn't part of the agreement -- it was Bill Cipher who was following that. Which meant... [Don't go barging in here, you'll ruin everything.] she sent to him, then she mentally kicked herself and quickly added after that -- after remembering that, yeah, these siblings cared about each other -- [Mabel's handling Miz pretty well. More importantly, what's the deal with Miz?] Pacifica asked. [How big a threat is she?] Because Pacifica wasn't sure what to think with her. [Miz claims to have pretty much killed people who threatened the people she loves(??), waht did she do to them specifically??]
She sent all that off before kicking herself as she remembered… ugh, she was getting tired, okay? It was hard to be at the top of her game when... [Dr. Pines told me demons can't love, so what the heck does it mean when she says she's killing people to protect the people she loves and cares about? Does that mean she's lying and just killing people for fun, or what?] which, from her last conversation with the man, she had no doubt that Dr. Pines would probably say was the reason for it. But in talking with Miz in the same room as her, it sure didn't sound like that was it. Miz claimed to have children, whom she seemed to care about, if her admission of feeling awful for hurting one of them meant anything.
...If she weren't lying about that, at least.
And Pacifica simply couldn't tell. Did she, as a demon, feel differently about demons than people? Or...
...or… was there a second, different set of rules for people? One that wasn't equal, or fair in any way? Like… racism, maybe? Like people's lives were... worth more than demon ones? Since demons couldn't die, or came back, or apparently didn't care about their own lives or each others' lives at all? ...But if that was true, then what Dr. Pines had been saying had been...
Ugh. This was starting to give her such a headache. ...That, or the cheap nailpolish fumes. Maybe she should open a window...
Well, either way she cut it, either Miz was a master level liar or she was telling the truth. Because to the best of Pacifica's experience with reading people, Miz was being honest, as scary as that was. ...Actually, it almost felt like Miz didn't really have a brain-to-mouth filter on her, what with the way she rambled on the way she did, both last time -- during the anime showing -- and this.
Pacifica busied herself with opening a window -- or at least, she tried to find one to do that, until she realized that this hovel didn't actually have one in this room that opened even the least little bit. Not that it had a screen behind it to keep any of the insects or other things out, if it had. Gross.
By the time she sat back down again, Dipper had finally responded with [I dont know about her threat level or who she's killed. But Miz does love bill, I think. Or at least care about him? She seems to. Great-Uncle Ford says its an act but I don't know what to think myself yet.] This text was quickly followed by another. [But there's maybe a chance that demons do love, just not in the same way that we do? Like Miz loves Bill but in some kinda messed up demon-sibling way? (I can't believe i just wrote that...)]
And that was a whole other can of worms to be addressed later...
"Why don't you like Dr. Pines?" Candy asked, that being one of the few things she was able to pick out of Miz's rambling.
Miz, eyes still closed, groaned. "He's a racist," she said simply. Mabel twitched, smearing the foundation across Miz's cheek, then set her jaw (not saying anything for now), as she reached for a tissue to handle the mess. ('If he is, then so are you,' Pacifica thought, then blinked at herself.) Miz continued, "He's also an expert in denying reality and truth, if it's something he doesn't want to accept as true. It's so frustrating. It took me a while to figure it out, but I think I finally know why he broke himself, he cracked and went into his own head, running away from reality, because he couldn't handle it." ('What?' Pacifica stared at Miz in shock, because what was this, now?) "And denying what's true and making up a lie for himself to believe instead makes him feel better. And one of the lies he's convinced himself of is the way he refuses to believe there's more than one Bill, and that I am one." Miz frowned even as Mabel shakingly put down the implements to pick up the blush brush, next. (Mabel was very angry at this point about what-all Miz was saying about one of her favorite grunkles, and trying very hard not to show it.) "And I don't like the way he denies my existence. It's almost worse than his blatant racism towards me."
"...I don't believe Dr. Pines treats you as if you don't exist," Pacifica said slowly to Miz, watching Mabel. "If he did, he would have ignored the fact that you were attending this sleepover with the rest of us." It was rather clear that the opposite was the case, in fact. But if that was something this demon believed was considered denying her own existence... then she was even crazier than Pacifica had thought.
"I didn't mean it like that. He does consider me a threat. But he doesn't want to think about how I'm a Bill, he just classifies me as a basic demon and treats me as such." Miz sighed. The Miz laughed. It was a bitter sound. "Not that I'm not used to it. People really don't like me. Back home, people used to be too afraid to bother me when I was out in public, but when my self control got better and I wasn't losing my temper at people all the time, they got confident enough to start getting angry at me for daring to be in public spaces. I got politely told to leave while trying to go grocery shopping once. I had cops training guns on me when I went out to lunch with my family at a restaurant…" (Pacifica saw Mabel begin to open her mouth, and then close it again.)
Miz sighed, expression growing resigned. "But I actually don't mind all that anymore. I'm used to it. That's just normal now. But the way that Stanford denies my existence, denies it so hard he broke himself just to deny the truth in front of him--" (...That made no sense. Dr. Pines didn't seem broken, and he didn't seem to be denying anything about her, either. He'd brought up the whole 'two Bills' thing to her when they'd met at the mansion, in fact.) Miz seethed. "That ticks me off. Once I realized that's what he was doing… or at least that's what I think he was doing." She stopped and took a deep breath. "But I still feel bad for the way he broke. Stan was really upset that I caused it, even though it only happened because that Stanford just couldn't handle it. But I still feel bad about it. Because he got hurt and I didn't mean to hurt him." Miz's hands were clenched on her knees (and Mabel was rather lightly going over the same areas over and over again, barely touching her right now -- if she was even actually applying any more of the makeup at all, Pacifica noted -- it was clear she didn't trust herself to touch Miz at all right now).
Pacifica slid forward, reached out a hand, and took the blush brush from her friend. She saw Mabel startle, then shiver slightly as she turned towards her -- and oh, did she look angry right now. Pacfica gave her a quick head tick to the right, and Mabel grimaced, eyes glinting with anger, but she nodded once and slid backwards, to be given a rather quieter hug by her two friends than either of them usually did (especially the big one).
"But how am I supposed to apologize for existing?" Miz continued rambling on, eyes closed, as Pacifica picked up where Mabel had left off with her make up. (It wasn't as though Pacifica hadn't had to persevere through difficult situations before with perfect aplomb. And this particular topic wasn't one in which she had any particular level of emotional engagement, unlike her Californian friend.) "Stan and brother say I shouldn't ever have to apologize for existing, but everyone's still upset at me for breaking him and I just want to make up for it somehow-- but what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to fix things? Make things better? I can't stop existing-- I've tried but I always come back--" Miz's voice cracked. (And Pacifica's eyes narrowed; Mabel seemed to miss that one herself, but Pacifica hadn't. And she was going to bring that up with both of the elder Pines later. Because if some of these demons didn't want to come back and kept doing so, that held grave implications for both their sanity, and their willingness to--)
Miz's eyes were still closed, but she was trembling and crying as she just unloaded everything she'd been holding in, because she knew that saying any of this around Bill would just make him upset and she knew it would probably make Mabel upset too, but she just had to tell someone, anyone-- "And I don't know what that Stanford would accept as an apology, he just got mad when I tried and it made everything worse--"
"Grunkle Ford isn't a racist--" Pacifica winced at that, this not being a good time for this sort of engagement with Miz, but she kept her own mouth shut and let Mabel continue. "--And he knows you're a Bill," Mabel told Miz quietly, not looking at the demon as she pulled away from her two friends and started rummaging through the makeup instead. (Hopefully for the last of it what Pacifica would need to apply, to consider this makeover done, and bring a quick end to this whole thing.) "He told us all, me and Grunkle Stan and Dipper, that he knows about all that. That he wouldn't ever hurt us for knowing that you think you're a Bill, either," she said next, just in case Miz really actually cared about that. "He just doesn't think you're Bill. Because you aren't!" Mabel said, glancing up at her.
"That Stanford says that I 'think' I'm a Bill." Miz sniffled again. "I don't think I am, I know I am. I'm the Bill of my world…" Miz wiped at her eyes. "...I'm glad he won't hurt you or Dipper for knowing. I was a little afraid he might…"
"You're smearing your makeup," Pacifica told her, reaching for a tissue, among other things. (Well, at least she could do it right this time.) She rather professionally wiped Miz down, before starting over again, this time going through things far more quickly. (It was much easier this second go-round, with not nearly as many layers of unnecessary foundation caked onto her skin, to have to work on top of without messing up or cracking.)
"But you're not exactly the same as Bill is, not really," Mabel pointed out -- even if, at this point, she wasn't actually sure if Miz herself was better or worse than the stupid dream demon himself. "Just like Grunkle Stan and Younkle Stan were different. And Grunkle and Younkle Ford. --You…" Mabel swallowed hard, then tried again, "You like some different stuff than Bill, right?" Mabel said, trying to keep things on a lighter note, even though the things Bill liked were horrible, and she was really angry right now at Miz for lying to her friends about her Grunkle Ford like that! "I don't think Bill would ever pounce at laser dots like you did with Dipper the other day," Mabel told Miz, with a very strained smile. (...And Pacifica thought it was rather a good thing that Miz was having to keep her eyes closed right now, with the glare Mabel was currently giving her.)
"Yeah, infinite alternate dimensions, infinite alternate iterations of Bill, or Stan or anyone else." Miz agreed. "But I'm still a Bill. And having that part of me denied makes me feel like everything I've gone through-- all the pain I've had to go through as Bill, is being denied as well…" Miz sniffled. "It's stupid and irrational, and maybe I'm misunderstanding things again, but that's… how I feel…"
Mabel pulled in a breath and let it out slowly. She looked back at her friends, when Candy patted her on the arm, before turning back to Miz. (She was so tired right now. Tired of all the lies, and the…)
"...I don't think he's trying to do that," Mabel told Miz -- told them all, really. "He just… notices that you're different than Bill. And you went through different stuff, right? So…" Mabel hesitated, not sure if she should actually tell her that-- No. Grunkle Ford could handle her. He could. It would be okay. She straightened in place, looking a little determined, and said, "I think that maybe what Grunkle Ford really doesn't like, is that you act like you want to be more like Bill all the time. Like, you look up to him a lot? And Bill hurt Grunkle Ford a lot. So… it's like you're saying you want to be an even worse demon and hurt him a lot too, when you say stuff like that."
"Just because I am a Bill doesn't mean I want to be like brother. He's himself and I'm myself. And while I admire him a lot, I'm not planning to be him. I'm me." Miz said firmly.
"Well, you should definitely tell Grunkle Ford that!" Mabel told her, her shoulders dropping a bit, because maybe... "It'll probably make him feel a lot better." It made her feel a lot better. She'd been really worried for awhile now that part of the reason Miz was being so mean to her grunkle was because Miz had thought doing that to him would make Bill happy with her. Like doing that (for him?) was a way for Bill to hurt Grunkle Ford without breaking the agreement himself? But if it wasn't, and it was all just Miz being a demon and saying terrible things all the time, because… well, Bill did that all the time if you didn't tell him 'stop', so that was probably just another terrible demon thing too...
"....you really think so?" Miz asked, and the note of hope in her voice made Pacifica feel incredibly uncomfortable, even as Mabel nodded at her enthusiastically.
"--But only if you really, really mean it," Mabel told her next. Miz had just said that she wanted to be better and less demon-y, but... "He'll really not like it if you're lying, or not sure, or something." (She knew she would be really angry, if she found out later that Miz had been lying to her and her friends about that. ...And Grunkle Ford might not even believe her right away. But Mabel knew that the first step for any of them maybe getting anywhere at all would be Miz actually telling him first.)
And even as Mabel started to feel better, lightening up a bit, her words made Miz turn cold again, that note of hope frosting over.
"...he automatically believes anything I say is a lie, regardless." Miz frowned. "Heck, he likes my lies better." (Pacifica raised an eyebrow at that. She also noticed a headband under Miz's bangs. Hm, well, Miz hadn't taken it off, and she didn't really want to hear any little bit of blathering from the demon about that complete fashion disaster. She'd just work around it like it wasn't a problem.)
(And, this close, Pacifica blinked when Miz's headband seemed to… twinkle? There were symbols on it, and they were flashing lightly, faintly, and she only saw them since she was so close. Okay, what was this thing? She had to ask the older Pines later.)
"Wellllll…" Mabel drew out, because she wasn't really sure about that one, but Grunkle Stan had told her before that if there was something that Bill ever got that wrong, to tell Bill to come to him about it. But this time, going to Grunkle Stan probably wasn't gonna solve this one. So instead, maybe this time…
Mabel scrunched up her face for a moment, and crossed her sweater-covered arms. "...You could ask Bill to tell him for you? Maybe? Grunkle Ford can tell when Bill is lying," Mabel pointed out, after thinking about that one a bit.
"...he'll just switch to believing that I lied and tricked brother instead." Miz pointed out, eyebrow twitching as she thought about it. Pacifica couldn't help but let out a soft laugh of her own. (She could see Dr. Pines doing that. After all, the scientist had straight-up admitted that that was what he thought Bill was doing -- lying to himself and therefore telling the 'truth' as he believed it.)
"Well, you gotta start somewhere," Mabel told her. "It's not like stuff's gonna get any better if you don't tell him." She was actually pretty sure that if Miz didn't, it would just keep on getting worse and worse.
"...I'll try." Miz finally said (to a "Yay!" from Mabel). "But I'm not holding out much hope for it," and despite her words, Pacifica could see how Miz was wiggling in place, and the faint trace of hope beneath her annoyance.
"Well, you are a demon," Mabel said. "And he doesn't like demons so much." She shrugged.
"And that Stanford is racist against me, for being a demon, even though I never had any choice in the matter." Miz was clearly rolling her eyes beneath her lids.
"I dunno if it's racist," Mabel said, frowning slightly (while Pacifica hid another wince, thinking 'no, it most definitely was racist' in a way, just not the way the demon was implying it). "I think he just doesn't like you killing people." Grunkle Ford had never been all that super-clear on stuff to her and Dipper (well, definitely not her, anyway). She wasn't too sure what he meant by demons, anyway. He talked about 'being a demon' more like it was things people did, than being born some way. "And neither do we. Dipper, or Grunkle Stan, or Soos, or Melody, or anybody else."
"If someone is trying to get to one of my friends with plans to violate her, I'm not gonna hold back on destroying them." Miz growled.
"VIOLATE HER?" Grenda bellowed out in confusion, and Mabel and Candy looked confused as well. (Pacifica, however, did not.)
"--Change the subject, now," Pacifica demanded quickly, feeling more than just uneasy at the swift topic shift there, to that particular sort of thing. Because that couldn't have been unintentional on the demon's part. And she did not want to know--
"Well brother and Stan don't want me working for Time Baby anymore either, and I don't like doing his dirty work, so I can see their point." Miz sighed. "It'll be something I need to talk to dad about, he's the one who told me to try and get along with Time Baby…"
Pacifica stared, unable to understand what Miz was saying, or what topic she'd just shifted to (if she'd even actually shifted to a different topic at all).
"Well Time Baby is a big jerk, so I think it's good to stop working with him," Mabel said quickly, nodding at her. She'd said that before, and Miz had said this before, and why were they still talking about this? "So… just no more killing people, okay? That should make Grunkle Ford a lot more comfortable and happy around you," Mabel told the demon firmly.
"If just the act of killing people makes someone a demon, then there are plenty of police and soldiers who would be demons. Heck, if it was even just the act of killing people for
fun
there are police and soldiers or even just random people who would be demons, and yet that Stanford doesn't classify them as such. At least I don't think he does." Miz pointed out.
"I didn't say I thought not killing people would make you not a demon," Mabel tried, and this stuff was really starting to make her all headachey -- it was really more of Dipper's thing, she swore. "I told you it would make Grunkle Ford not so angry and upset with you if you stop doing that."
"I'm pretty sure his definition and mine are not the same for demons. Heck, I think they're not the same definitions within this dimensional set and mine. In my world, demon is a title that someone can be born with or gain over time. It's a classification for your species or career." Miz explained. "I became a demon after I died and came back. But I never got a choice in that. I didn't choose to come back…"
"Okay, no. Stop for now!" Mabel told her. She was tired, this was getting into other-dimensional-talk territory, and... "I'm sure you and Grunkle Ford just need to talk this out, without yelling at each other a bunch. If your definitions aren't matching up then you'll always be misunderstanding each other." Mabel was pretty sure about that one from some of the stuff that Grunkle Stan had told her and Dipper about Bill. She turned around and started applying eyeshadow to Miz. "And that isn't good. But even if you can't talk to him about that," because Bill and Grunkle Ford sure didn't do that real well themselves, "At least tell him that you're not gonna try to be more like Bill. --Our Bill, at least. Please?" she asked of Miz.
"...I'll try." Miz sighed.
There was a long pause, during which Mabel looked like she didn't want to talk anymore, Pacifica finished with the concealer and moved on quickly to eyeshadow, and Candy and Grenda looked between each other, before Grenda asked Miz, "SO YOU'RE BOTH NAMED BILL? THAT'S WEIRD."
Miz giggled. "Brother and I are both Bill," Miz confirmed. "I'm going by Miz right now--" she pointed at herself "--because that is the name of this form I'm in, which I'm wearing because I thought it would make you all more comfortable around me."
"I HAVE LOTS OF NICKNAMES WHEN I WEAR DIFFERENT STUFF, TOO!" Grenda shared. "MARIUS LIKES TO CALL ME SUGARPLUM WHEN I'M WEARING DRESSES AND MAKEUP WHEN I VISIT HIM."
"...form-wearing?" Candy asked with a frown. Miz couldn't nod her head since she was still having makeup applied to her face (by Pacifica now? she sounded a lot closer now, and Mabel had sounded farther away...) so Miz raised a hand and closed her fingers together before 'nodding' her hand. "This form is a vessel I created so that I can be seen and heard by people. My true self exists within the Mindscape since I lost my original body and most people can't see into the Mindscape. So making and wearing a vessel is needed if I want to interact with you."
"WOW. THAT SOUNDS ANNOYING," was Grenda's take on the situation. Miz's hand 'nodded' again. "It is, but I like making vessels, it's fun to customize them." She smiled. "I can look however I want! I can make forms that people like, or admire, so I can actually go out in public and not be sneered at…"
"Miz…" Mabel began, but she was a bit too late to stop Miz, who was on a roll at this point.
Miz laughed bitterly. "You know even before I was a demon, when I was just a simple triangle who'd never killed anyone before, living in the 2nd dimension with the other shapes, people hated me back then too. Because according to the laws and rules, I was an Unnatural, a freak, so they just all hated me on principle." Miz grumbled. "Even though I hadn't done anything wrong, I never killed anyone… I obeyed the laws, I did everything they asked of me."
Mabel opened her mouth to say 'stop', but then glanced around and realized… Grenda and Candy and Pacifica were all listening to Miz pretty intently, and none of them looked really weirded out or scared like she was starting to feel again right now...
...and it wasn't like Dipper and Bill and Grunkle Ford were listening to them right now, out in the hallway, anymore...
So Mabel slowly closed her mouth and tried not to listen instead, laying her head up against Grenda's shoulder. (Candy and Grenda and Pacifica could fill her in later. She just… needed a breather for a bit, without leaving the same room as them. And Sweater Town was out, because she had makeup all over her face right now. So, Virtual Sweater Town. Yup...)
"The council chose what job I would get, where I would live, how much I would be paid… and they would have chosen who I had to marry once I was old enough, and I would have just smiled and went along with it, because I just wanted to be a good person and obey the laws..." (Candy glanced away from them all at that, knowing what family expectations felt like, while Pacifica grimaced herself, moving on to mascara from eyeshadow, which needed Miz to open her eyes for a few seconds to apply.) "...but then the council made the decision that I wasn't allowed to see my family ever again. They refused to let me see my little brother ever again. And I couldn't accept that. So, I rebelled." Miz seemed to wilt into herself. "I disobeyed. And… a lot of stuff happened, but none of it mattered, I failed. I couldn't get my brother back. He's gone… everything and everyone's gone… and I don't know how to fix it." Miz sighed even as Pacifica moved on to lipstick application at an almost lightning-fast speed -- she had to, Miz seemed almost physically incapable of stopping moving her lips -- and finished putting on those finishing touches. ("Done," Pacifica told her, in regards to her makeup.) "Brother doesn't know how I would fix it either, my situation is harder to fix than his, he has something of a plan for his. But my dimension has different rules and it would be more difficult to fix what I broke…"
"Bill's situation?" Pacifica leapt at the chance to ask about this. If Miz wasn't lying (and frankly, none of this had sounded like straight-up lies; Miz had clearly misunderstood a few things about Dr. Pines, but she could see intellectually why he might want the demon to not have an accurate picture of him, even if the picture he'd rather have painted instead would likely draw more heat down on him, rather than less…), then getting something, any small detail, would tell her a great deal more about either Bill's actual state, or Miz's own demonic state of mind on the subject. "What do you mean?" Pacifica asked as she reached for a mirror, hoping Miz would just keep talking and perhaps reveal some actual actionable weaknesses on just this one thing, at least for a little bit.
"Fixing the 2nd dimension so he can bring his brother back," Miz said simply. (Pacifica blinked at her at this.) Miz finally opened her eyes properly and turned to check out her reflection and stared at how strange she looked. "My cheeks look weird." she said simply. She didn't seem upset, merely surprised.
Pacifica frowned at her a little. Hadn't she said that she'd had makeup done before? she ought to know what it looked like...
"Miz," Mabel said firmly -- because Grunkle Stan had said they really shouldn't bring up Bill's brother -- "Can you not talk about other dimensions anymore tonight? Or your past? Please?" At least Bill actually stopped when she asked him to. Miz just kept on saying and repeating the same kinds of things, over and over again. It was like she kept forgetting or something, almost.
Miz paused before nodding. "Oh, sorry." she winced. "I need to stop oversharing, I did that even when I was human. It made things awkward with my friends sometimes." She paused again before tapping her headband. "...don't ask me stuff, I can't help but answer." Miz said finally.
"Well no more sharing. For right now." Mabel told her. Then Mabel paused. "Maybe we should--" she began, wanting to find a way to tell Miz about as politely as possible that she wanted to end the sleepover for the night.
"--Move on to the next person. Who wants to get their makeover done next?" Pacifica asked smoothly, and Candy raised her hand eagerly. Mabel a good bit of fatigue roll over her, but she put on a smile and scooted over to help her and Pacifica both out. Grenda loudly declared they were going to make her fabulous.
Pacifica could see that Mabel was just about done for the night -- or at least, done with wanting to spend any more time with Miz -- but Pacifica herself wasn't quite ready to stop getting information out of Miz yet. So far, the younger demon had answered all their questions when asked, and while they could be lies, everything she'd gotten out of her yet would still give Pacifica something useful to work with. (Plus, that thing with her comment on how Miz 'couldn't help but answer' stuck out to her and Pacifica was going to milk it right now for all it was worth. Because come tomorrow, she might not be able to do so anymore. Miz was clearly sharing a few things about Bill that Pacifica doubted he would want passed around, and she had no doubt that after tonight, Bill would likely grill 'his little sister' on what-all they talked about, and then… that 'can't help but answer' might become a 'can't help but not'.)
Pacifica was sick and tired of being kept in the dark. And this demon was practically begging to be taken advantage of, intel-wise. So Pacifica lowered her voice while the other girls chatted loudly as they worked, and she asked the demon, "So what's the deal with that agreement between Mr. Pines and your brother? Does it have anything to do with the anchor? What is it? Is that why Bill isn't messing with any of us?"
Miz blinked before lowering her voice to answer, glancing over at Mabel with a frown and moving to angle herself so that she could better hide this conversation from the brown-haired girl. "I don't think so?" She frowned in thought before seeming to realize something. "Oh, if you're wondering why brother isn't causing trouble like last summer, it's because there's no point. He only had that wild party because his other demon friends wanted a party. Since they're not here, and I have no desire for a wild party, he doesn't bother. The agreement is just a semi-formal thing? Just ground rules for how to get along with people, I guess?" Miz shrugged. "And the anchor's an anchor," she said, as if that explained everything, which it didn't.
Pacifica glanced over to check and make sure the other girls really weren't paying attention to them. Good. (Mabel was her friend, after all, and her friend had been upset enough for the night.) "How'd Stan get the anchor?" Because if she knew that, she bet that she'd know if and why and how he knew how to use it. --Was the old conman more well-versed in all that magic stuff than any of them knew?
And here, Miz scowled at her question, making Pacifica hold back a flinch, having not seen the demon display this much hostility before, not even at the idea of Pacifica wanting to kill her brother earlier -- which Pacifica would have thought rather similar, but…
"His twin-" Miz practically spat out (while managing to stay quiet), "-burned that anchor into him during a fight. Probably didn't even realize what it was. And if that Stanford attempts to brand the anchor onto any of you out of some stupid thought of using it against my brother, I will count that as him harming you all and take him down." Pacifica's eyebrows went up at this, and Miz seethed before taking a few breaths to calm down. She slowly straightened back up. "Besides, I don't know if it'll work anyway. And from what I've Seen in another dimension where Stan agreed to do the circle thing with you guys that day brother came back, it only succeeded in making Stan burn from the inside out since the anchor connected him to Bill and vice-versa…"
That made Pacifica go cold. "What?!" she hissed.
"Well, I was looking into the dimensions that exist within this dimensional set." Miz stated as if it were obvious. "And I've seen a few iterations of the events that happened here in those other dimensions, you know? Infinite possibilities and all that. I haven't Seen all of them, just a few that happen to exist here and are similar enough to be counted as possible outcomes branching off from the same starting area. And in one of them, you all tried the circle but you had to stop because the anchor was killing Stan or something." Miz shrugged. "There was also one I Saw in which the teenager you guys grabbed wasn't even Bill, just a human kid that was unfortunate enough to get involved in all this." Miz tilted her head. "There are a lot of different iterations here. It's pretty cool. My dimensional set doesn't have that. We only have the one Timeline, and if branches DO form, they're shunted off to a different AXOLOTL to take care of, so I can't See them." Miz shook her head and got back on target. "But this dimensional set… well! The AXOLOTL here takes on and has dominion over all the parallel branches! I've even found the 'Bill' who's actually a demon from the outside. Though, he's not actually Bill, he's Will, and… from the best I could understand, he and his twin brother Bill are both demons from the outside and shared their 'demon-ness' together, which is against the rules, not that it stopped them…" Miz blinked at the horrified look on Pacifica's face. "Ah… did I say too much again?"
"What?!" Pacifica hissed again. (It was a good thing she was used to memorizing conversations for later discussion. That had all sounded absolutely insane and-- what?? Just-- what?!?!? --Because how many Bills were there that they might need to worry about? And other versions of them? --Were they all struggling with them, with those Bills? Wasn't there anyone out there who had managed this yet???)
Miz frowned, wondering which of her list of things it had been that had upset her. "Ah… well I don't know how the anchor would work in this iteration. So maybe Stan won't be hurt by it?" Miz tried to comfort Pacifica on the subject that she thought might have upset her. "Unless you're just upset by the demon from the outside Bill? I don't think he's gonna be all that bad, even if he is a demon from the outside, from what I've Seen about him, however brief, his powers don't seem to be working right," Miz tried to reassure her. "The Ax here seems to be trying to test something, creating all these parallel dimensions and alternate Bills and all. Not sure what he's after, but he must have a reason for it…"
Pacifica opened and closed her mouth a few times soundlessly at this. But before Pacifica could respond to any of what Miz had just said, with more than just a what???, Candy called over, "What are you two whispering about?"
"I BET THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT BOYS WITHOUT US!" Grenda guessed.
"Stan is pretty cute when he cleans up…" Miz noted. Candy and Grenda groaned. "But he is so… old." Candy complained.
"He's still younger than me." Miz shrugged. "Not that I'd go for him. I'm sure it wouldn't work out. Neither him or that Stanford. Brother wouldn't approve either."
""Eww~"" The other two girls winced and laughed (while Mabel tried to hold down a shudder). Mabel got up and left Candy and Grenda to distract Miz while she checked on Pacifica.
"You okay?" Mabel asked Pacifica quietly, as she sat down next to her. "You shouldn't have asked Miz something if you don't want to hear the answer, either," Mabel told her. She'd seen the look on Pacifica's face after Miz had talked, and then talked again. "She doesn't know what counts as mental attacks yet. She really does answer pretty much anything we ask."
Pacifica slowly stopped her trembling, fists clenched in her lap. "No, I wanted to know. And I needed to know. I don't regret asking. This…" What she'd just found out was something big. Something big… and scary. If she was right about this... It was the sort of thing she really needed to talk to the old con man about right away. Alternate dimensions… iterations… multiple Bills that were here, nearby, somewhere, with other versions of them trying to stop them, and having just as much difficulty as them doing it. --If Miz could see them, did that mean that the other demon could see them himself, too?
Luckily for Pacifica and Mabel's mental health, Grenda and Candy were able to keep Miz occupied for a bit -- during which Miz acted pretty much like a perfectly normal girl (quite possibly because Candy and Grenda avoided asking her any questions what so ever, instead going into the topic of cute boys and clothing, and not letting Miz deviate from either of those topics, even a little) -- as they both calmed down a bit further. And then… well, Grunkle Stan came on by and knocked on the door, which pretty much ended the not-sleeping part of the sleepover for them (thank goodness).
And then Miz (finally!) went back upstairs to sleep in Bill's room.
And… Pacifica wanted to talk to Mr. Pines. But she had to wait, she had to prepare before she did that. She wasn't going to try and do that tonight; she couldn't. She was too tired to be able to handle the old con man effectively. And if Dr. Pines' fears were truly the worst realized, and Stan Pines himself had truly been compromised… She needed to bring her A game to this. After a good night's sleep, and out of both demons' potential earshot.
Pacifica laid down on her blanket and pillows. Grenda and Candy had drifted off to sleep already. Mabel was still awake, the blonde knew this. "...Mabel?"
"Yeah?"
"So… Miz."
"Yeah." Mabel let out a huff of breath.
"And, she's telling the truth."
"...not exactly. She doesn't lie a lot. And when she's not lying, she's only telling us what she thinks… what she believes is the truth."
"She's crazy." Pacifica nodded, getting what Mabel was going for.
"Yeah. And she doesn't always get things right," Mabel noted firmly.
"I noticed that," Pacifica told her without bias or blame, and she heard her friend let out a soft sigh and relax into her sleeping bag.
Pacifica cleared her throat softly, then asked, "So… that part about her life as a triangle… did Bill go through that all too?"
"...maybe. Grunkle Stan says the two of them have a lot of similarities, but different, he called it 'like looking into a funhouse mirror' where things can kind of look similar but not the same thing happened, or maybe it would sound like the same thing if you had to say it all in one really short sentence, but it actually happened really really differently."
"So, like, the demon's in the details?" Pacifica drawled out at her, and Mabel couldn't help but giggle at that: "Yup!"
...Well, if the two demons were dimensional counterparts, that could be part of it, right? Speaking of which, it hadn't escaped Pacifica that Mabel had seemed to be trying to keep herself awake. (Admittedly, the 'slapping herself in the face' thing had been a pretty big clue. Even Pacifica wasn't so tired as to have missed out on that one.)
"So, I never got the full story of you and the other Mabels?" Pacifica tried.
Mabel groaned. "Yeah, Grunkle Stan's funhouse mirror explanation thing isn't just from looking at Bill and at Miz. I met an Anti-Mabel at the end of last summer when we were closing up all those little ripped-up rifts in the forest. She was like me, but the opposite of me at the same time. She was evil. --She hated cats. Can you believe that?! But there were some nicer Mabels there, too -- like Military Mabel, she was really cool and--"
Pacifica felt herself slowly drifting off to Mabel's own drowsy retelling of her adventure out there in the multiverse. There was a lot to think about, and the heaviest thought was that Dr. Pines knew both everything, and nothing at all, about Bill Cipher.
...It was possible that none of them did, any at all of those Dr. Pines' that were out there, if Miz hadn't been confused or lying about what she'd just told her. And that was going to be a problem, possibly sooner than Pacifica liked to think.
When Mabel finally did drift off to sleep, she slept peacefully, without any of the nightmares she'd feared she would have. She didn't think much of this the next morning, and she also didn't notice Miz's slightly guilty look at the breakfast table, as the younger demon rubbed at her temples.
Bill did, though. As he steepled his hands over his tea, he tried to avoid Stanley's glance that became one of those long looks as his Zodiac caught on that something was wrong.
Bill waved it off for now. He'd explain to Stanley later, what Miz had told him the night before. Miz hadn't done anything herself but tell him what she'd been worried about; and Bill hadn't really needed to exert much effort at all, really, to keep Shooting Star from having any bad dreams, in the same way that he did for his own Sixer, now.
--It wasn't exerting any magic or weirdness on her without her consent, and it wasn't a spell cast upon her; it wasn't anything that could get him 'in trouble'. It was something -- the very same thing -- that Stanley had wanted done for his own brother, and Shooting Star's mental health and physical well-being -- both impacted by good sleep, or a lack thereof -- was of far higher priority than him. Bill doubted that Stanley would have any problem with something so simple as that. It was fine. (...The only un-fine part about it was that Miz had been rather certain that she'd caused it, what would have happened if Bill had not intervened on his own for his Zodiac in that manner last night…)
Miz had also asked Bill to help her tweak her headband again, because she just hadn't been able to shut up at all. That was something that Bill was more worried about than Shooting Star. (He was a dream demon, and the Master of the Mind. He could handle making sure Shooting Star's Dreamscape didn't devolve into screaming nightmares for a few days or more. Helping his sister with her own troubles was what took actual understanding, planning, and significant effort, when it came to his part.)
---